Chapter 5:

There was little doubt in Leia's mind that this was turning into one of the worst days she'd endured since arriving on Serricci. It wasn't enough that she'd overslept, that she had only the vaguest recollection of what had happened the night before, that her head was splitting, or that the mere odor of breakfast this morning had been enough to send her running to the nearest public fresher. No, the icing on the top of this spice cake of a day was that she'd been summoned to the office of General Carlist Rieekan to assist in his investigation of a violent incident that reportedly involved two of Leia's closest friends. Although Rieekan was a dear personal friend—and a fellow Alderaani—he was also the soon-to-be Commander of the entire base on Serricci, having been ferried to the planet almost a month before aboard the Millennium Falcon. And, even more worryingly, the Corellian owner of that ship was apparently the chief instigator in the altercation now under examination.

At the moment all Leia wanted to do was crawl all the way back to her quarters, climb into her cot and hope for a quick death, but instead she sat in a spare chair to the side of the general's desk, staring into the dregs of her mug of kaffe while they waited for Han Solo to arrive. Rieekan's emissaries had reportedly located him in the Medical Center, undergoing treatment for an injury.

Leia had learned on arrival that Rieekan had already taken depositions from four other men involved in the incident, including Luke Skywalker, and that his meeting with Solo would be the final interview of the day. Leia had been summoned to attend because the Corellian was not an official member of the Alliance, but a contracted employee, and Leia had been the one responsible for employing his services in the first place. She'd also continually offered him and Chewbacca short-term contracts of work with the Alliance in the five months since the Battle of Yavin, and the outcome of the investigation today would have direct bearing on their future employment.

As she'd reviewed the notes from the earlier interviews, the queasiness Leia had already been feeling began to grow. The details of the confrontation were hardly details at all, and she sensed that something important was being omitted. Although all four testimonies were in general agreement—that Luke and Han had overheard a conversation that had incensed the Corellian to the point of violence—it seemed that every one of the men interviewed so far had been reluctant to describe exactly what that conversation had entailed. Whatever it was, it seemed clear to Leia that her friends had been provoked by it, that Han had reacted in a most violent manner, and that Luke had intervened to prevent an escalation of the confrontation. She'd been particularly alarmed to read in his testimony that the normally easygoing Luke had gone on record saying he'd been tempted to join in the violence himself, and that he felt Han's actions—although not to be condoned or repeated—were understandable.

Leia frowned into her empty mug as she tried to imagine what the other three men could possibly have been discussing that would have provoked Han—and Luke—to such extreme anger. She racked her brain for some link between the two friends, something they had in common that they both cared about deeply enough to stir such emotions. Although she liked to think that she was gradually getting to know both men fairly well through their frequent interactions—both professional and personal—the truth was that she knew almost nothing about Solo, beyond their shared experiences and what little she'd been able to glean from hacked Imperial records. He'd been far more reticent than Luke in spilling details about his youth or recent past, so Leia could gain no insight into what could have caused him to lose his temper so spectacularly. She imagined that the nature of the provocation must have been personal if it had prompted Han to attack a member of the Alliance, but he'd never seemed to her like the type to care much about what others thought—or said—about him.

The silence that had settled over the office as Leia mused over the incident and Rieekan contemplated his notes was broken by a sudden chime at the door.

"Enter," Rieekan called out, and Leia dragged her gaze up from her mug to watch as the door was opened by one of the uniformed troopers assigned to security.

"Captain Solo is here now, sir," the officer stated.

"Very well, send him in."

Leia watched as the familiar form of the Corellian appeared in the doorway, and she swiftly assessed the fact that his right arm was in a sling and that his blaster was still secured in its holster. She felt some relief to see that his injuries appeared minor, and the very fact he had not been disarmed meant that things had not totally disintegrated, as she'd feared.

For Han's part, his eyes went to Leia first and there was a flash of surprise and then what she read to be dismay on his face, before his expression settled into a frown of frustration. He continued to scan the rest of the small room before his gaze settled on the older man seated behind the desk.

"General," Han intoned with what Leia recognized as a proper level of respect.

"Have a seat, Captain," Rieekan said as he pointed to the empty chair positioned squarely in front of his desk.

Han settled into the chair, and his eyes once again found Leia's, however briefly, before tearing away to stare at some distant spot on the wall as they waited for the general to begin the inquest.

She felt a touch of relief to see that Han appreciated the seriousness of the situation. He was never the most reverent person, and clearly he had some issues with authority—at least, with certain members of High Command who rubbed him the wrong way. He also tended to bristle easily under criticism, so Leia was glad that he appeared to be willing to submit to their official investigation of the incident, instead of telling them where to shove their questions.

"Thank you for attending promptly, Captain Solo," Rieekan said in a formal tone. "It's been brought to our attention that you were involved in an altercation of some sort this morning, and General Dodonna has asked me to investigate. I'm sure you understand that we are required to look into such matters and to take measures to resolve them."

"I understand, sir."

The flicker of Han's eyes back to Leia made it clear to her that he found her presence distracting, and Rieekan seemed to notice Han's discomfort, too.

"I've asked Princess Leia to join me because, in addition to her other duties, she's in charge of requisitions and supplies, and for the past five months she's been the person responsible for continually employing you and your First Mate in the service of the Alliance. As such, she is your supervisor here, and she has an immediate interest in the proceedings and the outcome of the investigation."

Han nodded his acceptance of those facts, although his body language continued to signal his unease. Leia studied him, scowling past the thumping pain in her head and wishing she'd thought to refill her kaffe cup before the inquest had commenced. She hoped it would be over soon, anyway, and tried to re-focus her attention on what the general was saying.

"I understand that you visited the Medical Center before coming here." Rieekan gave a pointed look at the sling holding Han's arm in place.

"Yes, sir. Nothing serious. Fractured a couple of bones in my hand."

Rieekan nodded. "I see. And is your injury a result of the alleged altercation this morning?"

"Yes, sir."

Although Han's expression remained carefully neutral, his body language calm and composed, Leia could see his throat move as he swallowed, and something else—some sixth sense—told her that he was uncharacteristically nervous.

She wondered if her presence was the cause of his agitation, or if it had more to do with the nature of his relationship with General Rieekan. Han and Chewie had been the ones she'd dispatched to transport Rieekan from another Alliance cell on the Mid Rim planet of Falleen to their base here on Serricci, and they had consequently spent several days in each other's company aboard the Millennium Falcon. The general had afterwards commented about that trip on more than one occasion. In a development that intrigued Leia, it appeared that Han had made quite a positive impression on the Alderaani officer. Whatever it was they'd discussed, it was clear that Rieekan had formed a high opinion of the Corellian smuggler. Perhaps Han was embarrassed now to be brought before Rieekan to answer for his behavior.

After an extended silence, Rieekan gave a tired sigh. "Why don't you just tell me what happened?"

"Yes, sir." Han's features hardened as he seemed to resign himself to explain what Leia sensed he'd have preferred to bury. Drawing a deep breath, he began to give his account. "I was in the Supplies Center with Luke—Commander Skywalker—at around oh-eight-thirty, and I overheard Commander Razik and his friends making some jokes." He winced and then made a point of clarifying. "Obscene talk, General. What you folks would classify as 'conduct unbecoming of an officer'."

"And what about your own conduct?"

"I'm no officer." Han's sharp retort was knee-jerk, and more typical of his flippant nature, but he clearly realized his slip because he shifted uncomfortably in his chair and amended, "But yes, my own conduct was out of line, too, General. I accept that."

"Tell me more about what you heard Razik and his friends talking about that made you angry enough to throw a punch. I'm assuming you threw the first punch?"

"I threw the only punch, sir."

"And the reason for that was…?"

"I didn't like what any of them were saying, but Razik was the one running his mouth when I rounded the corner, so he's the one I shut down. That's all there was to it."

Rieekan waited for a few moments, but when Han offered nothing more, the older man sat back in his chair and laced his hands together in his lap. A glance at his profile showed Leia that he was beginning to lose patience with the sparse accounts he'd received so far, and the Corellian, as the instigator of the confrontation, was going to be the one to tell him what he wanted to know.

"We're at war, Captain, as you well know, and this is a military base," Rieekan said. "As such, we must maintain order within our own ranks, or else make ourselves even more vulnerable to the enemy. We're a bit more relaxed than the Imperial Navy, perhaps, but I'm sure you understand that discipline is nevertheless an absolute requirement of this operation."

Han gave a curt nod, his expression stony and unreadable, but Leia sensed that he was more troubled by Rieekan's comments than he was letting on.

Rieekan continued to address Han, his voice taking on a sharper edge. "We cannot have our personnel—commissioned or otherwise—at war with each other. Anyone disrupting the peace or engaging in violence, as you have done, is at risk of censure. If you were commissioned, Captain, you'd be in line for a formal reprimand, at the very least. But you're not commissioned. You're only working for us on a series of verbal contracts, and those contracts may be terminated at any time."

Leia watched Han carefully. There was no mistaking the tension in his body or the grim tightening of his expression as Rieekan laid out those facts. Even through the blur of her blinding headache, she was perplexed by Han's reaction. Scarcely five days in a row could pass without him mentioning at least once his intention to leave the service of the Alliance "soon", and yet he appeared to be unhappy with the prospect of being released from his contract. Leia stared at his solemn profile and frowned.

Will you make up your mind, Solo? What do you want?

Han continued to give Rieekan his full attention, studiously avoiding Leia's gaze. The general came to his final point.

"In order to make a judgement on this matter, Captain Solo, I must get to the bottom of whatever happened between you and Commander Razik this morning. To accomplish that, I must have the details. Commander Razik admits that he was joking around with his friends, but he claims that your assault on him was unwarranted. And from what he and his companions have described to me, I would be inclined to agree with him."

The general's words lingered uncomfortably in the air, and Leia found herself silently willing the laconic Corellian to stop being so cagey, and just come out with it already.

"On the other hand," Rieekan continued, "Commander Skywalker tells me that you were provoked but, like you, he's been rather too vague about the precise nature of that provocation. Now, are you willing to give those details to me, or would you prefer to be released from service? I warn you now that if you choose the latter, you will be asked to depart Serricci immediately, and you will not be re-employed by the Alliance."

Leia's stomach churned at those words and for a moment she had the distressing sensation that she was going to be sick. Despite a hot shower and an especially thorough cleansing of her teeth this morning, she thought she could still detect the sweet odor of the jet juice she'd overindulged in the night before, as if it were seeping from her pores. She battled the sensation and suppressed the nausea through sheer force of will.

Never again, she promised herself. Never, ever again.

She looked at Han, waiting for him to answer Rieekan and hoping that he would just get it over with so they could bring this session to an end. As she watched him, though, she saw his hazel eyes flicker to her once again, and something in his glance set off a faint alarm in the back of her clouded mind. Earlier, she'd been trying to think of a link between Han and Luke, something they had in common, something they both cared about enough to fight over. Her stomach plunged as the realization hit her.

It's me.

Rieekan seemed to read Solo's glance at the same time Leia did. He turned his head to fix her with a speculative gaze. "Your Highness? Do you have information about this incident that I should know at this point?"

Leia was too startled—and too hungover—to respond promptly. To her consternation, she realized she was gaping, and promptly clamped her lips together, drawing a deep breath through her nose. She looked at Han, who was now resolutely staring straight ahead, avoiding her gaze. After a moment, she shook her head and spoke through stiff lips. "No, sir. I don't."

To Leia's dismay, Rieekan then turned back to Han and persisted in his line of questioning. "Captain, does this have something to do with the princess? Did you and Razik argue over—"

"There was no argument," Han interjected sharply, steadfastly ignoring the glare Leia flashed in his direction. "I didn't chat with him about it, General. I just knocked him down."

"And knocked out a tooth," Rieekan added, tapping the notes displayed on his datapad.

Han seemed to struggle for a moment to keep his expression neutral. "That's right. And then I threatened him."

"And what about his companions?"

"I threatened them, too." Despite the evenness of his tone, there was a belligerent curl to Han's lip that made Leia wince.

Even though the motion only intensified her pain, she found herself shaking her head, wishing a thousand things at once—that she'd stayed in bed, that she'd never touched a drop of alcohol, and that she'd stuck to her resolution from two nights ago to keep her distance from Han Solo. She had a very bad feeling about the direction this interview was taking. And Rieekan was relentless.

"And you threatened them because they were making inappropriate jokes...about Princess Leia?"

Leia closed her eyes for a moment, wishing heartily that Rieekan weren't so perceptive. When she opened them again, she looked at Han and saw the effort it was taking him to remain composed. He was practically squirming in his chair. Finally, he dipped his head in a brief nod. "Yes."

Leia's stomach was in knots now. The fact that Han had thrown a punch in defense of her honor was simultaneously ludicrous and embarrassing, and—if she were being completely honest—faintly gratifying. She'd never imagined him as the chivalrous type, and the idea that he would feel strongly enough about an insult to her character to defend her in such a way gave her an unexpected spark of pleasure. But at the same time, she felt outraged at being the object of such a testosterone-fueled scrap, and furious to have the whole sordid mess laid out in front of General Rieekan, a man whose respect she valued highly. She was also mortified at another possibility that had just occurred to her—that her own behavior might have contributed to this situation somehow. The confusion of emotions overwhelmed her and she lowered her head, staring fixedly at the datapad in her lap.

Oh, Goddess. What exactly happened last night? Did I do something to make the gossip worse?

She had a vague recollection of the raucous party, of trying to talk to Keris and others over the loud music, and of gulping down far too much of the sweet alcohol mixture—but the rest was a blur. Inwardly, she acknowledged that she'd been trying to numb the pain of the occasion, to forget about Alderaan and her family, to erase for a while the knowledge that she was completely alone in the galaxy and permanently homeless. But it seemed the booze had managed to erase more than that. She felt a flutter of panic at not being able to remember how she'd reached her bunk room, and resolved all over again to avoid alcoholic beverages for the rest of her natural life.

Rieekan was studying her openly now and Leia found that she was the one now squirming under his scrutiny. But there was nothing more she could add, no insight she could offer. Not with her memories lost in an alcoholic fog. And she didn't want to know what had been said about her by Razik and his friends, so she was deeply grateful when Rieekan turned to Han and spoke again.

"I see." The general drew a deep breath. "Well, I won't ask you for further details of the jokes you overheard, Captain. However, I do want to know the nature of the threats you made."

Han drew a deep breath, rolled his shoulders and shifted in his chair, seeming relieved to hear Rieekan's words. "I warned them to stop."

"Or else?"

"Or else I'd blast 'em."

"You threatened to kill them?"

"I was—," Han paused, cast another glance at Leia, and grimaced. "I was very angry, General. I wouldn't have actually carried out that threat."

"I would hope not. And Commander Skywalker. What was his role in this incident?"

"He intervened. He advised me to step away, which I did immediately. I didn't witness what happened between Luke and the others after I left. I only know what he told me in the Medical Center afterwards." Han drew an audible breath, then blew it out, and Leia saw his shoulders drop as he seemed to relax, albeit only marginally.

Rieekan nodded, evidently satisfied with the Corellian's account and how it concurred with what he'd heard from the others. "Thank you, Captain. I think I have enough information now to make a decision. Please wait outside for a moment, if you will. Just until we've had a chance to discuss the way forward."

Leia watched as Han gave a curt nod, then unfolded himself from his chair and stood, his posture almost—but not quite—in an attitude of military attention. He threw one last glance at her, and then palmed open the door and stepped out.

As the door slid shut behind him, Leia sank back into her chair, feeling drained and utterly depressed. When she'd finally dragged herself out of bed this morning, she'd been relieved to know that her Majority Day was behind her, that she'd passed that milestone without succumbing completely to the grief and profound loneliness she felt at having no one left of her family to mark it. She'd been determined to put a brave face on it, to commemorate Luke's birthday without thinking about her own. After all, he was in much the same position as she was; the Empire had destroyed the last of his family, too.

And she had felt somewhat comforted by the presence of her friends, even if Han and Keris were the only ones aware of the significance of the day. But the boisterous celebration had only served to deepen her misery, and now she was forced to recognize that her over-indulgence had been a feeble and ineffective way of coping with those emotions. Furthermore, some niggling feeling told her that her unwise drinking had contributed to their current situation, too.

As she pondered over that possibility, a faint memory from the evening before stirred within her mind. She recalled fetching another cup of the jungle juice, then looking around to find that she was alone in the crowd, Keris having disappeared from her former place. Without an anchor, Leia had drifted straight to Han, whose shifting position around the room she'd been tracking all evening. She remembered his smile, and his rumbling voice as he'd quietly wished her a happy birthday. After that… who knew?

What did we talk about? What did we do?

It was no use. The rest of the evening was a blur. The next thing she recalled was waking up in her bunk in the early hours of the morning, stumbling to the fresher and then back into bed. The knowledge of how far her self-control had slipped made her feel even queasier.

"Princess…."

When Rieekan spoke, Leia jumped. She'd been so lost in reverie, she'd almost forgotten where she was. She straightened up in her chair and shifted to face him, struggling mightily to keep her thoughts from showing.

The general's careworn face had softened from the stern leader into a more kindly expression, and she could see compassion in his blue eyes. Carlist was Alderaani and he'd lost his own family when their planet had been destroyed. He was also an old friend of her father's, and had known Leia since she was a child, so it was only natural that the two of them had grown even closer in the aftermath of their shared loss. And his expression now was more like that of a father addressing his daughter, than a general addressing a subordinate. Still, without knowing exactly why, Leia felt miserably responsible for the altercation between Han and the other men this morning, and she wanted nothing more than to flee Rieekan's office and escape his scrutiny.

"What happened last night?" But before she could answer, he held up a hand. "I know about the party. I mean—were you there?"

Leia nodded once, feeling a hot flush creeping up her throat. "Yes, General. I'm afraid so. I'm—. I'm sorry."

Rieekan offered a gentle smile. "There's no need to apologize, Your Highness. Every good commander knows when to look the other way and let the troops vent off a little steam."

"I'm afraid there's more. Although the idea for the party wasn't mine, I did authorize access to what alcohol we had in Supplies. I had no idea there was so much unauthorized alcohol on base, however."

Rieekan didn't look nearly as shocked as Leia had expected; in fact, he didn't look surprised at all. Instead, he smiled. "Soldiers will be soldiers. There was no harm done, Princess."

Leia met his gaze again and gestured to indicate their current circumstances. "Some harm was done to Erno Razik, apparently."

Rieekan's sandy eyebrow quirked up at that. "So you think the two incidents are linked, then? Last night's party, and Captain Solo's attack on Razik this morning?"

Too late, Leia realized that her own comment had suggested that connection.

"I—I'm not sure. I had...a bit too much to drink myself." The confession made her blush. "I don't remember exactly what happened last night."

Rieekan's expression of curiosity changed to one of deep concern and he paused for a long moment as he studied Leia's face. She realized a moment later that he was probably jumping to the wrong conclusion and quickly stopped him with a raise of her hand. "I'm fine. Aside from feeling like my head is about to go supernova, that is."

He cleared his throat, and gave her a gentle smile.

"I'm fully aware that yesterday was your Majority Day, Leia."

His use of her first name made her blink against the sudden sting of tears and she pressed her lips together firmly to quell the emotion. This day just kept getting worse as it wore on, and it wasn't even noon yet. She drew a breath to respond, but Rieekan was still speaking.

"Was that the reason for the party? Did your friends—"

"No." Leia hadn't meant for the denial to sound so sharp. She offered a tight smile. "Actually, it was also Commander Skywalker's birthday, as it happens. His Majority Day, too."

Rieekan expression was puzzled. "That's a strange coincidence…."

"Yes, it is. But he doesn't know. I didn't tell him."

"Any particular reason for that?"

"I— I don't know. I suppose I didn't want to detract from his day…." Even Leia could hear that her voice lacked conviction.

Rieekan digested that in silence for a moment, studying her face. "You know, there's nothing wrong with having fun, Leia," he said at last. "You deserve to enjoy yourself sometimes."

"We're at war, Carlist. We shouldn't have—"

Rieekan held up a forestalling hand. "Yes, we're at war. And we require discipline on base to maintain our readiness. No one is forgetting that, and no one doubts your commitment. But you're young and this war has already taken so much from you. Don't be so eager to give away what you have left. Trust me, Princess, you still need a life in spite of all this. You need good things to hang onto, to keep you going. Friends. Fun. Good times. Otherwise, what's the point?"

"I have friends…"

"Yes, it's very apparent that you do. And perhaps there will be someone special in your life someday, too. These people who surround you, the people who love you, they're the ones who'll keep you safe—and keep you sane."

It was rare when Leia found herself without words, without any sort of response that could explain the mixture of emotions and thoughts his words stirred up. Although the man hadn't come right out and said it, her instincts told her this conversation had circled back to one friend in particular. A moment later Rieekan proved her right.

"I don't know Solo that well yet, but what I do know of him, I like. And obviously he is willing to defend you, even in your absence. That's a worthy quality."

"Yes. Well…," she hedged, not comfortable with the turn the conversation was taking. She couldn't tell whether they were talking about Solo's qualities as a friend and ally, or if Rieekan was hinting at something more. "He has his good qualities, that true. But as he's so fond of reminding us all, he does have other obligations and doesn't intend to join us permanently."

Rieekan nodded his head. While he appeared to be agreeing with her, the way he was studying her at that moment made it clear he was thinking of other things. "And your opinion on Solo's involvement in this incident with Razik?"

Leia took a moment to gather her thoughts, choosing her words carefully. "There are very few people who can irritate me more than Captain Solo. In fact, I'm pretty sure he does it on purpose. And while he can be hot-tempered and deliberately provocative at times, I've never known him to be unnecessarily violent. The fact that he took a swing at Razik over comments that were made about me…" Her voice trailed off. She wasn't sure she wanted to take that line of discussion any further. She sighed. "Well, I don't know what to make of that. And I certainly don't want to know what was said. But my intuition—and what I know about Han so far—tells me that he probably had good cause."

Rieekan nodded thoughtfully, still listening, but making notes in his datapad as she spoke.

"The truth is he's a real asset, Carlist. He and Chewie both. Their...unique connections have already garnered some valuable information for us, as you know. And that ship of his may look like a pile of junk, but it's fast and it's heavily modified to do exactly the sort of work we need done. There's no question that he hates the Empire. He'd never betray us. I'm confident of that. Plus, he's brave enough to take on some of the riskier missions. And he hasn't failed us yet."

"That's true," Rieekan agreed, keeping his eyes cast down on his datapad. "Anything else?"

"Well, Razik and his friends are obviously exceptions now, but he's generally well-liked around here, and he's a natural leader. And as much as he talks about making money, he routinely volunteers to help out around base, especially with the X-wings. But I've seen him mucking in with jungle clearing, too. On supply runs, he's resourceful. He keeps his eyes open out there for things he knows we need, or would appreciate. He's a good negotiator. And he's smart. He knows more than he lets on."

"About what?"

"Well, everything. He likes to brag about his piloting skills but for some reason he keeps his expertise in other areas to himself. When, actually, his knowledge is wide-ranging and fairly comprehensive on a lot of things."

"In other words, you like him."

Too late, Leia realized how long she'd been talking, and how freely she'd been praising the Corellian smuggler. She felt a flush rising in her cheeks, which only deepened when she caught the sparkle in Rieekan's blue eyes as he looked up. In answer to his comment, she simply pressed her lips together and nodded.

"That's some testimony, Your Highness." The general pondered his notes for a moment, then drew a deep breath as he seemed to reach his own conclusions. He rose from his chair, walked around the corner of his desk and over to open the door. "Captain Solo, if you could please rejoin us."

"Yes, sir." Solo stepped back inside the office and the door slid closed behind him. His eyes sought Leia's briefly yet again, as if trying to determine from her what the verdict might be.

Leia watched with interest as he then straightened into an unmistakable posture of attention and turned to face the general, who had not resumed his seat but instead remained standing beside his desk.

"Captain Solo, I don't need to reiterate to you the importance of maintaining discipline on a military base in time of war. Actions such as yours this morning, whether warranted or not, unnecessarily jeopardize the stability of this operation, and such behaviour cannot be tolerated."

Leia's stomach flipped at hearing Rieekan's words. She'd thought the general was leaning towards handing Han a reprimand, at worst, but now it sounded as if he were going in another direction.

"On the other hand, you and your First Mate are important members of our team, even if you are not officially members of the Alliance. Your skills, your resourcefulness, and your willingness to undertake missions of a highly dangerous nature are of great value to us all. And, furthermore, we trust you."

Leia breathed out a sigh of relief. Watching Han's face, she thought she detected a slight change in his color, although he maintained an impassive expression as he listened to Rieekan's pronouncement.

"I have decided, therefore, to resolve this incident with an official warning. The incident will be formally recorded, and it will be noted that you have received this warning from me today. Any future such actions on your part will result in the termination of your contract, and ejection from this base. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very good. You're dismissed, Captain."

"Sir."

Leia could have sworn that Han visibly arrested an automatic heel click and bow, the sort of action she'd witnessed in countless other military interactions. It was only a faint impression, and such a gesture would have been completely out of character for the irreverent spacer Leia had come to know, but before she could dwell further on it, the Corellian had turned and exited the office.

-:¦:-:¦:-:¦:-

As she left Rieekan's office and stepped out into the main hallway of the Command Center, Leia felt a flood of relief at having averted an unanticipated crisis, which was dampened only by the fact that her headache was still going full-force. The good thing was that Rieekan had readily identified the symptoms of a bad hangover, and had gently suggested that she take the rest of the day off to recuperate. Despite the nagging of her conscience urging her back to her duties, Leia hadn't even bothered to argue. She could think of nothing more appealing than climbing back into her bunk and trying to forget about everything.

Weaving her way through the bustling Command Center, she headed down the corridor towards the side exit that led to the Officer's Quarters next door. As she stepped outside, the bright mid-day sun blinded her and sent a stab of pain into the back of her brain. It made her pause and squint, then her eyes focused and she found Han leaning against the wall of the nearby barracks, clearly loitering by the entrance in hopes of intercepting her.

Great.

As soon as he spotted her, he pushed away from the wall and straightened up, stiffly rolling the shoulder above the arm that was cradled in a sling. He looked tired, she realized as she drew near—more so than he'd let on during the inquiry—and she was reminded that hers wasn't the only day not going according to plan. Habit and a new self-consciousness made her glance around to look for curious bystanders, but for now they were alone. They were standing in the broad alley that had been cleared between the two structures, mid-way between the side entrances of both. It struck Leia that Han's presence in this particular spot meant he'd anticipated her return to barracks, rather than a return to her workstation. Determined not to give him the opportunity to open with a smart comment, she pre-empted things by gesturing as she asked, "How's your arm?"

"My arm? My arm's fine. My hand hurts like hell, though." He gave her a lopsided smile.

Leia winced. "Sorry, I knew that. My head is killing me."

"Yeah. I can imagine. It was a pretty good night."

Leia blinked and raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun so she could focus on his face. "Was it?"

"Wasn't it?" Han countered, raising his eyebrows in what looked like genuine surprise, then gave a little shrug and a smirk. "I thought so."

Leia was flummoxed by that enigmatic comment, but she wasn't sure she wanted to pursue it any further. She eyed him warily, squinting against the glare. "I don't know what kind of night it was. My head hurts."

Han laughed softly and dropped his gaze, seeming to ponder something on the packed-dirt ground beneath their booted feet. After a moment, he lifted his eyes back to hers and there was an awkward pause, as he clearly struggled over what he wanted to say. Leia stared at him, attempting to guess at why he'd waited for her here, and where he was planning to take this meandering conversation. She was also trying her best not to be distracted by the way the sun caught his hazel eyes and turned them a clear, deep green. Or how the white of his teeth contrasted with the light bronze of his suntanned skin, now covered in a faint sheen of perspiration. A warm breeze gusted through the alley, ruffling their clothes and hair, and providing a brief respite from the relentless heat. Leia dragged her eyes back up to meet Han's, and opened her mouth to speak, but Han spoke first.

"Look, I just wanted to thank you," he interjected, his tone light.

Leia tilted her head at that, and searched his face. "For what? It sounds like I should thank you."

Han gave a single nod in acknowledgement, clearly not comfortable with the morning's events being discussed again but perhaps encouraged by her response. "Obviously, I wasn't thinking. And it nearly cost me everything. But he deserved it."

"Do I want to know—?"

"No."

Leia hesitated, feeling a twist of something like anxiety in her gut as she tried to put her own thoughts into words. "Listen, Han. I—I don't know what I did to attract those kinds of comments, but if my behavior last night was out of line—."

"It wasn't." The vehemence of Han's response made Leia blink. His jaw took on a hard line and she could see the conviction in his eyes. "You did nothing. They're just a bunch of chulaks who were running their mouths. People like to gossip, and you're kinda famous. That's all it was."

"Yes, well. About that." Leia paused and tried to think how to approach the subject. "Keris tells me that people are talking…."

"So let 'em talk."

It didn't escape Leia's notice that Han hadn't even asked what she meant. He already knew.

"But there's nothing to talk about," she pointed out.

"Isn't there?"

He looked at her and the silence stretched between them as Leia tried to come up with a response. Her head was thumping and she could feel a trickle of sweat making its way down the indentation of her spine. She wasn't even sure what they were discussing anymore. Before she could speak again, Han made an impatient gesture and turned almost as if to go. Then he turned back.

"Look, I just figured you must have said something to Rieekan in my favor in there, and I wanted to say thanks. I'm glad I didn't get kicked out."

Leia tipped her head, focusing a bit more intensely on him. For a man who never missed a chance to remind her that he had no intention of sticking around, he sounded very grateful to be kept on. It wasn't just the bright sunlight that made her squint up at him now as she saw her opportunity.

"If you're so relieved to stay, if this is where you want to be, then why won't you join officially?"

There was a momentary look of surprise on his mobile face before a more familiar expression of exasperation settled in. "Because I don't need the hassle of military hierarchy, rules and regulations, Princess. That's not how I operate. This is a good gig—."

"So that's it? It's a good gig?"

It wasn't the first time she'd cornered him about the topic of joining up, and it wasn't even the first time she'd made him uncomfortable by questioning his conflicting statements. But it was the first time she was attempting to get him to admit that there might be more personal reasons for him to join the Rebellion, and his defensive shields were visibly going up as she watched his reaction. He dropped his gaze, breaking off their eye contact.

"No, that's not it." His expression was a mixture of frustration and something else Leia couldn't quite identify. He scowled. "But I've got obligations to meet, and I can't be tied down."

Any sense of relief, along with any gratitude she'd felt for the catharsis of having vouched for him to Rieekan moments ago, evaporated in the jungle heat. What did it matter what her friends Keris or Carlist thought about this man—or even what she thought of him herself—if ultimately he still wanted to leave? For a fleeting moment, she had entertained the advice she'd received from Rieekan about making sure to carve a life for herself outside the war. Keris had said essentially the same thing in their conversation the day before, about the importance of making time for fun and pleasure. But, for Leia, the rebellion against the Empire was more than just something she did.

It's who I am. It's everything.

Palpatine and his minions had taken everything from her. They'd murdered millions of beings, and enslaved millions more. And they had a grip on the galaxy that was steadily growing stronger, despite all of the Alliance's efforts to thwart them. Regardless of the personal consequences, Leia's entire life now was focused on removing the Emperor from power and restoring the Republic. And although she treasured her friends and she recognized that much of what Rieekan and Keris had said to her was true, she was beginning to think that she didn't have room in her life for anything more than that. And certainly not with a man whose idea of commitment was to stick around only until something better came along.

Looking at him now, she felt a familiar flutter of excitement at the thought of something more developing between them. It was a tantalizing prospect and, in her most private inner thoughts, she acknowledged that she did want more. While she'd been embarrassed to realize how much she'd gushed on about Han to the general, the fact remained that all of it was true. All of it.

But it isn't enough, is it?

They'd shared a promising kiss, and here was Han making another overture in that direction, so it seemed he wanted something more, too. But wanting more and deciding to pursue it were two very different things in Leia's mind.

I can't afford this. Not with him.

"Leia," he broke in on her silent contemplation.

The sound of Han speaking her name never failed to make her pulse race. He used it so seldom, seeming to prefer to call her by her formal titles—and some he'd made up on his own—so when he did call her by her name, she knew he was serious. But when he took a step towards her, she instinctively took a stiff step back and he stopped in his tracks.

The relentless sun seemed to be soaking through her hair and baking her scalp, and she could've sworn she smelled the sickly-sweet tang of jungle jet juice even now. She felt frustration swell within her as the desire to escape to the cool, dark confines of her quarters increased. And Han's apparent desire to pursue the issue at this point wasn't helping.

"I'm tired, Han. And I have a terrible headache. I just want to go to bed. Later I'll be able to think clearly on how to handle this."

"What do you mean, 'handle this'? Handle what?"

"This—. Whatever it is."

"Whatever it is?" Han's expression darkened. "What do you think it is?"

She let out a sharp sigh. He was being deliberately provocative now, ignoring her request to drop the subject, and she didn't appreciate it. "Well...we're friends."

"And?"

There was a new and hopeful hint of encouragement in his open-ended question, something she found equally beguiling and dismaying. She was almost tempted to take the bait and add what he clearly wanted to hear. But she'd considered her options and she was sure she was making the right decision. She met his gaze with a level one of her own.

"And maybe we need to keep it that way."

THE END

NB: This story is part of the Kismet series by Sue Zahn (with some contributions by me). Although this chapter is "the end" of this particular tale, Sue and I have a few follow-up stories in the works. Stay tuned! And if you're just dying to jump to the good stuff, read "Mergers and Acquisitions" (suezahn) + "Between the Lines" + "Into the Fire" (in that order). Thank me later. =)