"Can I go now?"

"In a moment."

I waited a moment like a dutiful little summon and asked again: "Now?"

"Let me finish this," Itachi replied distractedly, focused on his letter.

I craned my neck to read from my position on his shoulder and sighed at the code. Being a spy was so exhausting, even for the spy-by-proxy — me.

"Are you done now?"

Itachi's free hand came up to pat my head. I submitted happily to the petting. A moment later, elegant fingers pressed my beak close. I whined in protestation. Censorship! Scandalous! I stamped to let my displeasure known, but Itachi ignored it. I was left with no other possibility than to accept my dreadful fate: waiting in silence.

The Akatsuki hideout was quite silent due to its emptiness. Itachi was the only one here. Kisame had gone in town to buy food (which I wouldn't even enjoy: I had to leave as soon as that stupid letter was ready!). I didn't like those places, as a rule, but when they were empty they were even creepier. I couldn't wait to go back to Konoha, its crowded streets, its annoying noises of people enjoying their life… and the people I enjoyed...

"It's ready," Itachi announced as he let go of my beak to roll and tie the damn letter.

"Finally," I groaned. I jumped on the table and offered my leg with all the scorn necessary for such a demeaning task as carrier duty.

Itachi threw me a fondly exasperated look. With deft, long, elegant fingers, he tied the letter in the best way possible to not bother me. "Thank you for your patience, your Highness," he drawled.

"You're welcome, my dear samurai," I replied with just as much sarcasm.

I spread my wings a little, shook myself, and sighed. "Can I go now? Kami, this place's so creepy. You can hear water drops falling for the damp ceiling. Urgh. So cliché."

"You can go," Itachi agreed, reaching for his latest book. "My salutations to the Hokage and your fiancé."

"Ha. I'm in stitches. Ha! Fiancé. As if. Do I look like the marrying type? Please. Me? I'm an eternal single woman with free spirit and loose morals. Obviously."

"For how long have you two been together again?"

"Uh…" I paused. That was a good question, actually. Oh dear, has it been more than a year already? Going on two? Oopsie. "Well... Anyway, I have to go. Things to do, people to see, letters to give, and all that. See ya later, 'Tachi-kun, love of my heart, treasure of my soul!"

"Right," he said. The corner of his lips was rising. To mock me, no doubt. Tss. No respect for his elders. Scandalous.

I threw myself off the table and flew out of the main cave, leaving by a side entrance which was only big enough and high enough for me to use (it was a natural window with no glass or shutter because Akatsuki were savages).

This side of the hideout was a dense forest with very old and high trees. I had to fly from branch to branch to get out in the open sky. Not ideal, but let's say that it was my flexibility training for the day.

As I landed on a high branch, ready to fly on a higher one in my sight, I received a shock of energy. My muscles cramped. Hissing in pain, I froze and curled up.

Something descended upon me, grabbed me, and held me with my wings blocked. I twisted to see what it was.

"Hello," White Zetsu said, his body slowly coming out of the tree.

"Urgh. Not you," I whined. Zetsu was in my top 3 of the worst Akatsuki members ever. In fact, he was in second position before Hidan and after Tobi/Madara/Obito. "Let me go, asshole."

"I don't think so."

At the new voice, I looked to the side with dread. I caught sight of Tobi and knew immediately that this would end badly for me. I tried to reverse-summon myself, to go back to safety on Ichouki, but a new shock canceled my attempt. I let out a weak squawk of pain and frustration.

"Now, now, bad summon," Tobi said with his annoyingly chipper voice. "Trying to leave before finishing its mission? Bad, very bad."

Considering that Itachi had told me to avoid Tobi at all cost, I knew I would have been forgiven.

"I don't know what you're playing at, the two of you, but if you let me go now, I might consider not telling everything to Itachi. Maybe."

Tobi's laugh was no longer chipper. It was sinister, and I would have shivered if I could. "I think you're forgetting who's really in command, here, birdy. You've been a nuisance. I let you live to keep company to the poor, lonely Itachi, but then I learn you're giving secrets to Konoha about us?" His body language went from relaxed to tense in a blink. "No more. Zetsu, crush her."

And…

That was it.

Crow pancake.

What a fate.

oOo The End oOo

… Just kidding. Not funny? Whatever. I died, guys. Spare me the humor police.

Fine, fine. Not the end. Just… Go bother someone else for a while. It's exhausting to die.

oOo Two months later, on the border of Fire Country oOo

Kakashi was running after a crow. It wasn't the first time, granted, but all the previous ones had been much more fun. The crow in question had been more fun.

The Karasu flew down. Kakashi followed his example, jumping on lower branches until he reached the ground and walked into a clearing. On the other side, Itachi was stepping forward with the crow on his shoulder.

Kakashi went to meet him halfway. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately. "Why didn't you send Tsukiyo?"

Itachi was as stone-faced as he had ever seen him. Tsukiyo had said he was capable of humor and sarcasm, but she was one of the only privileged ones granted the rare sight.

"She's dead."

Kakashi froze, stopped breathing for a short while, and then breathed in loudly. "How?"

Itachi shook his head. "I don't know. I sent her to you two months ago. When she failed to answer a summon after a week, I thought she had found a way to extend her stay with you. She had done it before. I tried again a week later and when it didn't work I summoned another crow…" He looked to the one on his shoulder.

"She's no longer part of the murder. Her soul has left the flock," the Karasu explained solemnly.

Kakashi walked away. He pressed his shaking hands to his hips and focused on controlling his breathing. Once he had his body under control, he came back to face Itachi. "What do you know?"

"According to the Karasu, it happened soon after she left me. You didn't see her lately, did you?"

Kakashi shook his head. "Not for three months. I was…" He rubbed the edge of his mask. "Getting worried," he murmured.

"I think someone from Akatsuki is responsible. Tobi, most likely."

"I see."

After a long moment of silence, Itachi admitted: "There isn't much we can do, but I thought you deserved to hear it from me."

Kakashi nodded. "Thank you."

Bowing his head solemnly, Itachi took a step back, ready to leave. "I'll send other Karasu to update the Hokage."

"Alright."

"For what it's worth, Kakashi-senpai… She loved you."

Kakashi nodded but didn't comment, and Itachi left without another word. Turning their back to each other, they went to lick their wounds and cry their loss, alone.

oOo Alright, losers, now, back at me, this is my story after all oOo

"Urgh, I'm bored. The after-life is so boring."

"Not the after-life."

True, and that was for the best. Limbo was truly a strange place, with very poor scenery and even worse color coordination. We were sitting on rocks next to a river (or what passed as a river around here). The rocks were grey. The water was a lighter shade of grey. The sky was a darker shade of grey. My body (which, at least, was human with wings! awesome combo! clearly the reflection of my soul, and the only upside to this place) was — you guessed it— grey. In a word: boring!

I had been there for… I didn't know exactly how long. Time was difficult to measure here (what a surprise), and it didn't feel important.

I glanced at my companion and sighed. "Is the after-life better?"

"No idea. Didn't try it yet."

"Geez, Number One, I don't even know why I missed you. I had completely forgotten your stellar personality."

"Excuse me?" Shisui said, pressing a palm to his heart. "Are you saying Itachi is a better conversationalist than I?"

"Well… Conversationalist isn't the right word."

Trouble twin number one chuckled. "I'd say."

"We're past mere words, he and I. Our silences are whole talks in themselves."

"Right. By that, you mean that you monologue while he's only half-listening."

"Yeah, actually. He's an excellent listener. He always was a better one than you."

"Excuse you? I listen!"

"Nah." I shook my head. "You talk too much for that."

"I'm just answering you!"

"Yeah, you should stop that."

"You'd prefer that I ignore you?"

"No, don't ignore me, silly, just don't reply. I'm not used to it."

Shisui paused and watched me solemnly before commenting: "Maybe you need new friends, other than Itachi and Kakashi."

"Eh…" I tilted my head in consideration. "I have Kisame."

"Does he talk much?"

"More than the two others… He actually answers me… sometimes."

Shisui made a face of compassion.

"Yeah, ok, you might have a point," I admitted, crossing my arms. "But it's difficult to make friends with you, humans. Why did you have to go and die, uh? Four is a good number. Four friends would have been good."

"We're friends?" he asked with a large grin.

"Urgh, don't make this face. You look like Trouble Three when he was a kid and Itachi promised to help him train. Very disturbing memories."

"I'm just smiling. We're friends! I always thought you didn't like me."

"Well… you're fine." I admitted, sighing. "You know, for a Trouble Twin. You'd be even better if you hadn't gone and got yourself killed!"

I leaned to the side and slapped his biceps. He jumped on his feet and walked away, raising his palms in defense.

"Hey! Not my fault!"

"Urgh, don't remind me." I crossed my arms, threw my head back, and shouted: "Hoy! Shinigami-sama! Send me back! I didn't kill Danzou, the asshole number one, yet!"

"You have to stop that."

"Nope."

"The Shinigami might take offense and just seal you into his stomach, trapping your soul for eternity."

"Can't be much worse than this place. At least I would have company. The Yondaime's supposed to be there. You met him right? Was he as good looking and fun as people said? I'm asking for science."

"Your boyfriend was the Yondaime's student. Why didn't you ask him?"

"Do you want the reasons in alphabetical order or depressing order?"

Shisui chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "I suppose it would have been a delicate subject."

"Duh."

"Well, I was still young, but— Oh, Kami-sama!"

Suddenly, Shisui was by my side, pulling me to my feet and behind him. "Shinigami-sama, please, forgive her. She didn't mean to be disrespectful."

Having turned around, I belatedly noticed the entity which had appeared silently and without any special effects to announce its arrival (no cold, no lights, no colors… boring).

"Oh! Hi, Shinigami-sama! Can I go back now? How long has it been? I need to make sure that Itachi is eating enough, and that Kakashi isn't seeking suicide missions. Secondarily, I have to check that Sasuke didn't go and ruin all my efforts to keep him more or less sane. They're terrible at taking care of themselves, really. They—"

"Yes."

I paused and leaned over Shisui's shoulder to meet his eyes questioningly. He made a face as perplexed as mine.

"Yes, I can go back?" I tried.

"Yes."

"Wait, you're serious?! Holy shit! Awesome! How is it going to work? Will I be back to the place I left? In my body? Even if it was flattened like a pancake? What's the deal?"

"No."

"Mh… 'Scuse me, not to be demanding, but could you say more than one monosyllabic word at a time?"

"I could if you'd talk less."

"Damn, everyone is a criti—"

Shisui's hand plastered itself to my mouth while both Shisui and Shinigami stared at me, exasperated. Ok, fine, Limbo might be getting at me. It was this damn eerie silence, giving me the need to fill it up.

"You're a shapeshifter and a rebirth. Your soul is adaptable and can survive a transfer, but your mortal body is no more functional. Your soul requires another vessel. You'll take one empty of soul."

"Empty of soul?" Shisui asked for me since I wasn't allowed to talk anymore.

"The heart beats, but the soul has left."

I slapped Shisui's hand away. "Braindead. I got ya. Very creepy though, taking the body of someone else."

"There is no other way."

"Do you have someone without anyone ready to kill me for possessing their loved one's body, at least?"

"Yes."

"Good enough for me. Let's go."

Shisui stared at me and mouthed: "just like that?"

I spread my hands. "Dude, just in case you didn't follow, this isn't my first rodeo. Being a crow? Not my first life. A new body is nothing. I'd have preferred a new one, of course, but that would have probably meant going through the whole childhood thing again… oh, and teenage years, urgh. No time for that anyway. Beggars can't be choosers."

"Not your first life? Tsukiyo, you like to give me a headache."

"Ha! That's the pot calling the kettle black. Who went and got itself killed, dooming his whole clan in the process, again?"

"That's mean."

I sighed and spread my arms. "Just come here and give me a hug, Trouble One. I'm going to take care of Itachi, kill Danzou, the other assholes too, and soon you'll be able to go to that afterlife that better be much cooler than this. I promise."

Shisui stepped forward to hug me (like a bear, wow). "I'll hold you to that."

I felt myself fade.

"I'll keep an eye on you," were the last words I heard before the world fade to black.

I didn't even have the time to joke that he wasn't supposed to have any left (at least, in Limbo, his eyes were at their rightful place).

The Shinigami whispered instructions in my head and then...

oOo

I woke up feeling like I had been hit by lightning. Breathing fast, too fast, I straightened and flailed, falling of what was probably a bed and bringing down all the medical equipment attached to me.

Cursing myself and the Shinigami in one thought, I focused on calming my breath to clear my head. After a moment, I felt good enough to consider my situation. With grunts of disgust, I removed the oxygen mask I was wearing and then everything coming out of my new skin (no feathers… uh, this complexion was darker than what I was used to; hopefully that meant fewer sunburns) or stuck on my skin (that paper seal left a red mark on my belly, but whatever, seals, so overused). I pushed back the mess around me and reached for the bed to drag me up.

Shit, I felt as weak as a newborn. I thought the whole idea was to get me operational quickly? That wasn't operational, damn it!

Leaning heavily on the hospital bed, I looked around to find that the small room was dark, dusty, and all-around unacceptable. The only window was so small and high it was ridiculous. Zero stars. Would never visit voluntarily and should leave immediately.

It was weird too. I had made noise by falling, but no-one had come to look. The place was also very silent for a hospital...

Barefeet and only wearing a gown, I stumbled more than walked to the door and stepped outside… in a very dark hallway.

"Creepy," I muttered. "Where the hell am I?"

"An old hideout of Orochimaru."

I squeaked, flailed, and fell to the ground (again). Shisui had appeared right in front of me, but he was… very white… and transparent.

I raised a hand and passed it through his body. He grinned at me cheerfully.

"Hi. The Shinigami said I could come and annoy you because you annoyed him."

"Oh, great, now I'm seeing ghosts. As if people didn't find me crazy enough." I raised my hands to the ceiling and pushed myself up. "Alright. Come on, Casper. Be a friendly ghost and help me out of this haunted place so we can go and scared the assholes to death."

"Sounds like a plan! I had the time to look around while you panicked. This way."

"Excuse me, I didn't panic," I protested but followed without question.

We bickered all the way to the exit of this creepy place. It had been abandoned relatively recently. I realized my body must have been used as an experiment and only kept alive (well, with a beating heart, at least) by the machines or seals I had removed… That would explain why I felt so terrible. But the guys who had run this place had left a half-dead body behind? Urgh, that's nasty (but convenient).

Shisui pointed me toward some water and food (if you could call 'rations' food). And I found some clothes and shoes on the way out, fortunately.

"Uh. You have a pretty tattoo on your back."

"Are you ogling me?!"

"No! I just wanted to check everything was okay!"

"Right. What kind of tattoo are we talking about? It better not be a tramp stamp… or a seal."

"No, it's a wing tattoo. Pretty big and realistic."

"Uh. The Shinigami must have a sense of humor. Who knew?" I commented as I pulled a tunic over my head and then leggings up my legs.

By the time I came out in the sunshine, I felt nearly… human.

I looked up to the sun, closing my eyes to appreciate its warm touch on my skin. This was nice. The weather was perfect for a flight. What I wouldn't give for wings…

I screamed and fell to my knees when pain exploded from my back.

Shisui was cursing a storm. "Wings! You've got wings!"

"Are you kidding me?!"

"I'm not! Holy shit!"

I didn't know if I should thank or curse the Shinigami. Probably the latest. It fucking hurt, damn it!

"Are you ok?"

"Do I look ok?!"

"Uh… I'm gonna pass that question, but you should know your wings are pretty…"

"Pretty?!"

"Yep, pretty cool."

"Oh, wonderful. That's all I need in life. They better be useful, that's what they better be, because if I have this in my back and that it hurts so much for nothing, I'm definitely having words with the Shinigami!"

They turned out to be very useful, so… no cursing the Shinigami and ending in his stomach… yet.

oOo

Let it be known that being a bird and being a human with wings was two different things. It was… like having three pairs of limbs instead of two. That required a lot more coordination than anything I had ever done before.

I prepared for my landing, and… I tripped, fell on my hands and knees, and hit the tip of my wings on the ground.

"You're getting better," Shisui commented with a falsely encouraging tone.

I looked up at his incorporeal form, blew on the hair in my face, and glared.

He stopped to pretend that this didn't entertain him and laughed cheerfully. Now, I get it: he had been in limbo for so long that he needed to compensate, but if only he could find some entertainment other than my failings… I would personally feel much better.

I focused on bringing my wings back inside their… tattoo (seal? no idea how that worked, if that was one of Orochimaru's experimentation or a kekkai genkai, but it was cool and that was all that mattered to me). With some training, the pain was less blinding and more of a 'my-organs-are-rearranging-themselves-I-don't-feel-so-good' feeling.

Back to the four usual limbs, I stood up, rubbing my hands on my black leggings and muttering to myself about compensating the landing. I was getting better, believe it or not. Hopefully, by the time I found Kakashi, I'd stop embarrassing myself.

After situating myself, I walked toward the river. I had located someone familiar from the skies. "BLUE! Don't kill me, it's I! Your pal, your gal, your favorite birdie! I had a complete relooking I know." I tugged on the curly brown hair I had ended up with and stared at a strand doubtfully. It currently looked like a frizzy mess, and it would probably stay so. I had no idea how to take care of curly hair. "I'm getting used to it too, and it's kind of a long story, but I need your help, buddy! You wouldn't know where I can find—"

"He's here," Shisui warned me.

A bit too late.

I already had a blade under my throat and red eyes swirling in front of me.

"Oh, you're here Itachi-kun. Excellent. It saves me so much trouble. Did you eat while I was away? Three meals a day, and more than a ball of rice, right? You better have. And did you take your medication and went to all your appointments? I hope so—"

Before I could continue with my interrogation, he pulled back sharply and looked me down from head to toes. His Sharingan was swirling, trying to detect an illusion where there was none.

"Yeah, yeah. Not my best look," I admitted with a sigh and a hand wave. "Details. Let's not talk about me. You—"

"You were dead," he said softly, impassively.

"Yep. Bird body reduced to pancake mix. A tragedy. It was a pretty good body." I commented, nodding slowly. "I recovered, though. I made a deal with the Shinigami, and all that. You know, the usual."

"The usual?" A deep voice repeated as Kisame appeared. "Do many Karasu make a deal with the God of Death?"

"Of course not, just me. Keep up, Blue. Hi, by the way. Did you take good care of my boy? Did he eat? Did he sleep? Did he heal? He's not answering me. You, tell me," I demanded before turning to Itachi. "I'm sorry I was away so long, sweetie. The Shinigami was a bit slow. It must be the eternal life thing." I looked back to Kisame. "So? Report."

"Shit, it's really you," Kisame breathed in shock, his sharp teeth showing as he gaped.

Before I could find an appropriate retort to that inane observation, I was pulled into a hug and found myself with an armful of Uchiha. Itachi was shaking and hiding his face against my neck. His hold was tight, but I kept my beak shut and slowly patted his back. With wide eyes, I mouthed at Kisame:

"Is he sick?"

He shook his head.

"You were supposed to take care of him!"

"Since when?"

"You're his partner!"

Kisame made a complex face that I chose to ignore.

"Bring food."

"I'm not your fetcher!"

I squinted at him, pointed at Itachi's back, and then mouthed slowly: "Food."

He sighed, lowered his shoulders, and went to comply. Shark boys. You had to tell them things twice.

Now alone, I looked at Shisui instead. He was staring at his cousin with so much sadness, regret, and compassion. It was a heartbreaking expression. My heart squeezed uncomfortably at the sight, and I focused on Itachi instead. I smoothed back his hair, patting his head gently.

"It's alright, sweetie. I'm here. I'm sorry I was gone. Tobi and Zetsu surprised me out of the hideout, those assholes. Two against one, really—"

"I'll kill them," Itachi hissed. The amount of killing intent that suddenly radiated from him made me tense up from head to toes. I had such gooseflesh that it was painful. I squeaked in protest. He calmed down enough to rein in his temper, and I let out a breath of relief.

"That's the plan, darling, that's the plan," I promised, patting his shoulder. "But I think we'll need a little backup, right? One thing at a time."

Itachi straightened and took a small step back. That's when I realized that in this shape… I was the same height, or even a little taller than he! AWESOME! A good older sister needed to be bigger to cuddle her trouble twin. Perfect. The Shinigami was forgiven for that nasty pain in the back!

I grinned. "So! How long was I gone, by the way?"

"Three months," Itachi replied somberly.

"Drat," I grumbled, pushing back my messy hair with annoyance. "I'll need to be brought up to date."

Shisui gestured at himself, at me, and then at Itachi.

"Oh, yeah, and I have to tell you a few things too. The after-life is so overrated, but it had a good point, if you can call him that..."

This was going to be a long conversation.

With some tears.

Possibly mine.

I didn't know if it was a good thing that humans could cry. Things had been less messy when I was a crow.

oOo

I was tempted to go find Kakashi like I did for Itachi, but he disagreed. Apparently, I had been lucky not to get gutted without questions, and it would be suicidal to come up to a traumatized ANBU in a hidden village wary of infiltrators.

When you put it like that… fair enough.

Thus, we waited for Kakashi to come to us instead of the other way around. We had parted with Kisame (who pretended he was all too glad to be rid of me, the liar) before walking into Fire Country. Now, we were waiting in a clearing in the forest, and I was so done...

"Would you shut up?" I whined to Shisui. "I'm not a translator. I'm tired of talking!"

"First, you're literally a chatterbox —you even talk in your sleep— and you said yourself that silence tired you more than anything," he replied, unimpressed. "Second, are you refusing us the ability to speak to each other?"

I made a face, my nose twitching in annoyance (I wasn't used to having a nose that could move, it felt weird). I glanced at Itachi. He was looking at me calmly, patiently waiting for me to share Shisui's words. He looked at peace. I had never seen him so expressive before he had learned that Shisui could hear him and talk back.

I let out a whine at having been so thoroughly brought to task. I threw myself back in the grass before dutifully relaying what Shisui had said before I interrupted him. Smiling, Itachi replied, and again I repeated Shisui's teasing words, imitating his tone as best as I could.

If this was to be my fate now, if I had become a loudspeaker, I might as well be a good one.

It was kind of calming now that I didn't reject it. I could talk, but I didn't need to think about what I had to say. The noise without the energy. I liked that. That was cool. Parrots might be into something there. It was like a talking meditation.

When there was silence and no more words to be repeated, I raised on my elbows to look at the Trouble Twins. They were staring at me.

"What?"

"You talked aloud," Itachi informed me helpfully.

I blinked slowly. Well, that was new… and embarrassing. "Well, that's because Shisui doesn't talk enough, obviously," I protested. "Come on, Number one, keep up!"

I ignored his splutter and his protests about hypocrisy in favor of lying back down and parroting dutifully.

The sun was up. It was warm with a light wind. I had the twins and listened to light chatter. Ah, this was the good life.

Now there was just one thing missing… or one man, rather.

Kakashi kept us waiting (what a surprise), but he was there by noon the next day.

Following Itachi's instructions, I hid in the trees while they talked.

I lightly bit on the tip of my thumb as I leaned against a trunk to watch them. I was too far to see what Kakashi looked like, but he was still alive so that was good. I was proud of him for avoiding the suicidal missions. That's my boy!

"You really are in love with him," Shisui commented with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't have to sound so surprised," I grumbled.

"It's awe. Awe at your ability to find the most complicated shinobi in Konoha and add him to your collection of traumatized men without any summoning contract to help."

"Could you stop for a while with all the much too accurate comments, please? You sound like my conscience and that's very disturbing."

"Ew."

"Yeah!"

Kakashi looked agitated suddenly. He shook his head and took a step back, away from Itachi.

I hoped none of them had said something silly. I bounced up and down, rising on my toes.

"No," Shisui told me.

"But—"

"Don't you trust Itachi?"

"Of course, I do, but—"

"No. Bad pet. Stay."

I twitched my nose at him. Shit. I was compensating for the beak clacking I'd usually do when someone annoyed me in crow form. Weird. I held my nose and ignored Shisui's baffled look to focus on my boyfriend.

Kakashi seemed to have calmed down. After a moment, Itachi looked over his shoulder.

That was my cue. I jumped down from the tree and walked up to them through the tall grass.

Itachi had bought me some new clothes, in my size and which didn't smell old moss and wastewater. After I had shown him my 'wing trick' and the torn shirt that produced (which was probably one of the reasons of the great pain I had felt the first time), he had chosen for me a long black backless top and a dark blue poncho I could adjust any way I liked. It was a good combo for warmth and comfort. The black boots and blue leggings protected me from the itch of the grass, so I was by their side in no time.

"Kakashi!" I squealed, raising my arms in excitement (I had been told my poncho made it look like I had wings when I did that, but it was just a bonus in my book). "Look at me! I won't go 'poof' anymore!" I twirled to show my new body and then bounced up and down to await his assessment.

Itachi had brought me to one of those fancy spas with onsen and hairdresser included, so I was up to notch now, with beautiful curls braided in a crown instead of a fuzzy mess. Hopefully, that would please him. Itachi said that my appearance was still aesthetically good, but I didn't know if it would be attractive to him. Otherwise, I guess I'd have to do the whole henge business again and there would be more 'poof'ing with less awkwardness when I ended up still human, just uglier.

There was no assessment.

There was me bouncing up and then me being hugged to death.

I leave three months and suddenly hugs are in fashion among socially awkward genius. Strange.

Well, I wasn't going to complain.

I locked my legs around his waist and patted his back dutifully. "There, there," I cooed. "I'm so proud of you for not being dead, sweetie. That would have been really awkward if I had to chase after the Shinigami to tell him I want to go to the afterlife with my boyfriend after all."

He squeezed a little tighter, and I squeaked.

I realized first that Itachi and Shisui had left us alone and second that Kakashi was shaking.

The situation was maybe a tiny bit more delicate than I had first realized. I had an unusual moment of self-doubt during which I considered staying quiet.

"Keep talking," Kakashi demanded hoarsely.

Okay then. Talking. Sure, I can do that. That's my specialty, or so I have been told.

… Nothing came up to mind.

Rebooting brain.

"So, did the Hokage plant my trees? Are they growing well? I'm super hungry, you know. Limbo is the worst. There's no food whatsoever out there. No hunger either, of course, but that's not the point of eating, am I right? The boredom was killing me and there were no almonds, no nuts, nothing! Can you believe it?! I have never seen such terrible room service ever in my lives… Wait, but that wasn't my life now that I think about it. That was my death… I have never seen such terrible room service in my deaths! Zero stars! Wouldn't recommend. Oh, and speaking of zero stars. I woke up in such a dreadful place, you'd never believe it—"

Thus I talked endlessly. I was just speaking to myself after a while, to be honest, but that wasn't anything new. Kakashi sat down at some point, lowering me in his lap, and I adjusted without breaking my rhythm of talking and playing with his hair distractedly.

"—Speaking of wings, how is Pakkun by the way? I hope he took good care of you. I know he tries, but you have to let him. I hope you did. He's my proxy, you know, you have to listen to his demands like you'd mine."

"So not at all?" he drawled.

I pulled back, resting my hands on his shoulders as I stared at his face. His eye was red but twinkling with mischief and love.

"He speaks!" I laughed and caressed his cheekbones before pulling on his mask and kissing him.

For the record, young people, rolling and cuddling in high grass might look romantic, but it itched. There were bugs. Snakes. Rodents. Things…

And none of it mattered because I was home.

oOo

"So. What's the deal you passed with the Shinigami?" Kakashi asked much later, as we prepared dinner for the three of us (well, four, but one didn't eat, which left Shisui quite forlorn, and I get it because, again, Limbo: zero stars).

"Oh, you know," I said, hugging my knees to my chest. "I have a year to ensure that Tobi and Zetsu are all dead. If I manage it, I live. If I don't, I go back to Liiimbo!" I shook my hands with that last word and looked up with a smile. "So, yep… Start planning, geniuses, because those assholes are going down!"

"Sounds good to me," Kakashi said easily.

"Agreed," Itachi added.

"Danzou can wait for them to be gone," Shisui commented with a nod.

"Yeah, of course, Danzou is next, Number One, but we have to wait for Number Three there, or he'll kill me next," I explained. I clapped my hands. "So. This is it. Great plan!"

"That's not a plan," Itachi observed.

"Best plan ever! It will definitely work!"

Of course, it did. It was made by me.

I may write a short epilogue to complete this, but we're reaching the end of this story as my muse wanders toward fresher ideas. I hope you enjoyed this.