Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 12It's not that Harry wasn't listening to people, but there was so much contradictory in their childrearing advice. In addition to Harry thinking some of them didn't have Severus's best interests at heart.
Harry had decided he had to move out of the Burrow, but didn't want to ruin Christmas with his news. Or have some people celebrate Severus moving out, in front of Severus. Or start a loud fight with him. Or maybe Harry should just sneak out one night with Severus and not show up for breakfast. There was no good way to handle this.
He couldn't decide whether he needed to decide where or when first.
Harry would like to live closer to London since his training and eventual job would be based there. How did one go about finding a flat or perhaps a house? Maybe he should talk to Ron about the where part.
The when was trickier. It might be convenient after Ginny returned to Hogwarts after the holidays. Then he could tell her in a letter. Sooner, if Severus's information about the expected engagement came true and Ginny told him off. But Harry didn't know if Ron was in on that plan or not. If Harry told Ron he wanted to move out of the Burrow, Ron could alert the rest of the Weasleys.
Outside of the Weasleys then. It might be convenient to act before Hermione returned to Hogwarts after the holidays. That way Harry could count on at least one person to help. Maybe. Maybe he should sound out Hermione to see what she thought of the idea. And maybe help with the planning. If Hermione expected Harry to whip out a huge engagement ring on Christmas or Christmas Eve, she at least knew she'd have to clue Harry in on the big plan. Maybe he could probe Hermione on that too.
Harry found his opening at dinner when Hermione said, "I need to make a quick trip to Diagon Alley tomorrow."
"Uh, if you have time, maybe I could come with and it'll be a little longer."
Hermione said, "Sure, Harry," before he tilted his head to the side to indicate Severus next to him.
He didn't need Hermione asking questions, and it was easy to hint it was to buy presents for Severus.
The black-haired boy kept shoveling food. At least Harry didn't have to worry about the Weasleys using food as a punishment. Harry could still remember having to share cold, canned soup with Hedwig at the Dursleys over the summer holidays.
He had asked Severus about his business-like way of devouring pretty much everything he was offered. After multiple questions, Harry pieced together Severus's short answers to there hadn't been a lot of food with his family, the orphanage food was iffy, and Mrs. Weasley was a great cook. And then Hermione arrived, watched Severus from across the table, and overlaid the situation with something called 'food insecurity'.
Although Harry hadn't a name for it, he had noticed something was off and didn't think it was the same as Ron's two-fisted eating style. He would get better at this parenting thing, especially if they moved and Severus only had Harry watching over him.
Ron garbled out, "What about me?"
Harry was momentarily chuffed because Severus never did that. He stopped eating, swallowed, then spoke. Harry didn't take credit for that, but he was pleased he had a foundation of socially acceptable manners to build on.
"Uh …" Harry said, trying to think of the best thing to say without sounding suspicious.
Hermione looked over and said, "Ron."
"What?"
"Who do you think I'm shopping for?" she asked.
Ron's "Oh!" was clear since he had finally stopped shoving more food into his mouth.
Ginny gave Harry a smile.
Harry returned the look even though he knew Ginny was going to be disappointed in him.
*** Join the owls joyous flocking ***
By the time they apparated to Diagon Alley the next morning, Harry was ready to burst. Rather than cave to pressure, he let it out as a long stream of words. "Okay, I've been waiting to get you out of the Burrow. Every time I cast muffliato, someone shows up to investigate.
"First, which comes first, probably Ginny because that is the biggest powder keg. Have you heard anything about me proposing marriage this week?"
"What?" Hermione replied. "Ginny's still at school. And I don't think she's fond of Severus. You should give that more time."
Harry sighed. "Thank goodness. I kind of overheard the Weasleys expect me to propose. Maybe because of Severus and showing I'm ready for responsibility. You haven't heard anything?"
Hermione stared at him.
"What?" Harry asked. "You have heard?"
"Not that. But you're not exactly responsible with Severus."
"I … I mean … ugh. That's next. But on Ginny, I'm good?"
"No, but I don't think you can fix that. Don't jump into getting engaged to make her happy. Do it when it's right."
"Okay, but I didn't want to get engaged so I think I'm good. Sort of."
"Look, can we walk while you talk things through?"
"Sure." Harry started moving, and let Hermione lead the way. "Next," he said, "you've kind of guessed that maybe Severus at the Burrow isn't working out."
"Well no, but you're not going to send him back to the orphanage, are you?"
"No!"
"All right."
"Uh, where did you want to go?"
"Bookstore. You're avoiding the question."
"I was thinking of moving out of the Burrow."
Hermione stopped.
"What?" Harry asked. He could tell she was thinking. And he was afraid Hermione was trying to think of a nice way of telling him what a mistake he would be making.
"That might be for the best, but what does Severus think?"
That wasn't what he expected. "Huh? Um, I haven't talked to him yet. I thought I'd start with you."
Hermione's brow furrowed.
"Was that a mistake?" Harry asked.
Her mouth opened, closed, then she said, "I'm flattered, but this is a big change for Severus, and I'm not sure. What did you have in mind?"
"Um, maybe a flat in London or close by."
"Who will be with Severus during the day, or later when you're an auror, at night?"
"That's a good question," Harry admitted. "But no reason to immediately marry Ginny."
"I agree. Even though he's young, Severus may be all right most of the time. But you still need to consider his age, Harry. What if there's some sort of problem?"
"You're right. I need to have some sort of plan."
"After you ask Severus. He may want to stay with the Weasleys. Ron's warmed up to him after that chess game."
"Might be because he was hurt. Some people like underdogs? 8-year-old Snape can't take on Dumbledore."
Hermione shook her head. "I wish I knew what Prof. Dumbledore did. If Severus had his memories, it'd be a lot easier for you."
Harry laughed a moment, then sobered. "Only if he doesn't remember that I adopted him, the Ministry changed his name to Severus Harry Potter, and probably a hundred other things since Dumbledore dragged him out of the Shack kicking and screaming."
"Yeah, you need to be sensitive to what Severus thinks he's gone through, Harry. He may be quiet and not acting out, but understanding his feelings is important. But on the other hand, you still need to make the decisions."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's up to you how your relationship with Ginny progresses and also Severus's place."
"Ginny's the one that's messing that up. Severus hasn't told me to dump her."
"You're dumping Ginny?"
"No, I mean, I need time. Ginny needs time. We need to … yeah, time."
"Like take a break?"
"No … uh … she'll be at Hogwarts so I don't think I need to formalize any sort of break. Do I?"
"Are you planning on seeing anyone else while she's in school?"
"No, or at least I don't think so. I need to concentrate on training and I really should do more with Severus."
"Good. I know you've already said you're doing this because you owe him, but just think of how you could be a major influence in Severus's life."
Harry's mouth opened to say he already had been, but he closed it without replying. Hermione was right. He changed what he was going to say and suggested, "So bookstore?"
"Right."
*** Ding dong, ding dong ***
Harry lay awake in bed, wondering if Severus would enjoy Christmas today. Sometimes, it was difficult to tell whether the boy liked things or simply tolerated them.
Last night at dinner, he ate but wasn't enthustiastic. Harry pushed a couple of crackers towards him, and when he didn't pick them up, held one then another out to him to get pulled. He let Harry put a paper crown on his head, but didn't smile or even smirk. When Severus shook his head 'no' as other hats materialized, Harry respected his wishes.
Hermione whispered to him at one point that Severus could be missing his parents. This would be the first Christmas that the boy would have without them. Harry didn't recall that for himself because any Christmas without the Dursleys could only be seen as an improvement.
The boy sleeping next to him moved slightly before returning to rest. Thankfully, an elbow or knee didn't jab Harry.
Harry put an arm over him. Sometimes Severus woke during the night, fresh from a dream and afraid of Dumbledore.
He had a couple years before Harry needed to give real worry to Hogwarts, unless Harry decided to have it out with Dumbledore before Severus's eleventh birthday. He wasn't sure if the man's promises were worth anything. And people might support his 'greater good' excuse if Severus Snape grew up brain-damaged this time around.
When had Harry turned into such a worrier?
One day at a time. He expected Christmas was going to be a big deal today. First one with Severus. First one while living at the Burrow. First one after Fred died.
Severus moved then sighed.
Harry whispered, "Are you awake?"
"What are you doing?" was Severus's response.
"What? I'm just lying here thinking."
Severus didn't say anything.
See, Harry thought, if this was adult Snape, there would have been a sarcastic response. Famous Harry Potter didn't think.
"What do you think about moving out of the Burrow?" Harry asked.
"You're sending me to Azkaban?"
"Azkaban? That's a prison. What makes you think you have to go to prison?"
"I'm bad."
Harry patted Severus's hair. "I don't think that. And nothing you could do, such as giving sass, will get you sent to Azkaban."
"Didn't I torture and murder people? You said people would want to hurt me, and that's why."
Harry wished people would keep their big mouths shut. Why would anyone tell an 8-year-old boy about that? "That must sound confusing," Harry tried. "You were a spy but on our side, but you couldn't let others know because if you were found out you'd be dead. I'd be dead. Probably this whole house full of people would be dead. And after a long time of thinking your older self was not on our side, they're unable to forget. Or forgive."
"Are you sending me to Australia or South Africa?"
"Huh?"
"That's not far enough away? I don't speak any other languages, unless you want to count Latin."
"No, no. I meant you and me. There's too many people in and out of the Burrow, and some of their words are confusing you, and I don't like that."
"Are they lying or telling the truth?"
Harry sighed. "It's not so simple. They don't know everything. Like you brought up a murder. Dumbledore asked you to kill him. He was dying from a curse and he knew if he let you kill him in front of witnesses, you'd be golden with Voldemort and his mates."
"And then he came back and killed my parents."
"No. It's … argh, I don't know how to explain the basics, but I can say both your parents were dead before you killed old Dumbledore. I don't know how we ended up with Ginger Dumbledore back from the dead a year later dragging you, as you are now, into Hogwarts a couple hours after you were murdered."
"How did I die?"
"I didn't want to go here. You were killed by Voldemort. He ordered his snake … and that was it."
Harry felt Severus take some deep breaths beside him and decided to hold him. This isn't how he expected to kick off Christmas.
"That's the snake that had its head chopped off?"
"Yes, Neville Longbottom killed it."
"It was a big snake that could squeeze someone to death? It crushed me?"
"Um, not quite. It was really big, but also poisonous."
Harry knew he was royally screwing this up. He hated it when people lied or kept him in the dark. But it wasn't Harry's fault that everyone that had a grudge against Snape decided to tell Severus he belonged in Azkaban.
"Could it have been phoenix tears?" Severus asked.
"What?"
"Dumbledore's phoenix. Is that what he did to me after I was poisoned?"
"Wait, slow down. How do you know about Dumbledore's phoenix?"
"Part of our history class at the orphanage. Second greatest wizard after you."
Harry couldn't fix that. "Okay, but I was poisoned by a basilisk and Fawkes, his phoenix, cried on my wound to cure it, but I didn't get any younger."
Severus rolled back into Harry and suggested, "Maybe magic was involved."
"Undoubtedly," Harry agreed. Maybe Hermione could piece something together. She probably already considered Fawkes.
Harry said, "Grim stuff though. Not very jolly Christmas with me I'm afraid. That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I haven't told the Weasleys yet about us moving out and I wanted to get your opinion."
"Why?"
"I mean you like it here with getting told your bad enough to go to Azkaban?"
"No, but I meant why ask for my opinion. You are the adult."
"I don't want to make things harder for you by adding uncertainty to your life."
"I don't hate everything here. How do I know you'll find someplace that isn't worse?"
"I won't," Harry promised. "How about we keep this to ourselves? We don't want to spoil Christmas?"
"Don't they want me gone?"
"I think they do, but they don't want to feel guilty about it."
In the dim dawn light, Harry saw Severus move his face towards his. "What does that mean?"
"It's stupid so I'm not going to bother trying to explain it. They should have told me instead of taking it out on you."
"You're daft. It's not like someone gave me the belt."
*** Singing you the magic of this place ***
Harry stuck to Severus like glue for the day's festivities. Presents, breakfast, lunch, goofing around outside even after Severus said he'd prefer to stay in and read his new books, and dinner.
He was surprised that Severus received a Weasley jumper – green with a black 'S'. Maybe he judged Molly too quickly or too harshly?
Severus was his typical subdued self, but he did say 'thank you' to every gift, whether it was books, clothing, or a couple joke products from George.
After hours of festive fun, Harry doubted himself and his decision when Ginny plowed into him and trapped him under some mistletoe after dinner. Why do the Weasleys have mistletoe in the house? Mistletoe could cause a lot of trouble, and by that Harry didn't mean nargles.
"Harry, I have something special for you. Do you have something special for me?"
Ginny went full-blown giant squid on him. How could she touch him in so many places at once with only two hands and her lips?
All summer, Mrs. Weasley turned up every time Harry tried to snog Ginny. Now, the entire Burrow had been tipped on its side so everyone else was in the kitchen, instead of protecting Harry's virtue.
Harry twisted out of her grasp. "You didn't like the quidditch bracelet?"
"I was hoping for a bit more."
Her lips on his earlobe felt weird, and then Harry decided he had enough when teeth got involved.
"Stop," he asked. "Stop."
"Harry."
Ginny sprang back from Harry and looked down at Severus. "What now?"
Severus took a deep breath before murmuring, "Mrs. Weasley asked me to tell Harry that pudding's served."
"We don't want any pudding. Get lost."
"Hey," Harry said. Mrs. Weasley had been watching out for him and Ginny afterall. He expected Severus dawdled after he found Harry in this situation. What eight-year-old wouldn't? "I want to have pudding with Severus."
"Harry, you got to set boundaries with this evil git. He's-"
"No, I don't want to be roped into things before I'm ready."
"I can have pudding without you," Severus suggested.
"It's Christmas," Harry answered, putting a hand on Severus's shoulder to steer him to the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley went through a lot of trouble to make things nice, and Harry felt they should enjoy it as Mrs. Weasley planned, rather than disappearing on her.
Ginny plucked on the back of his shirt.
"What?" he asked.
"You can't regain Christmas through him."
"What do you mean by that?"
"All those horrible Christmases you had as a child."
Harry shook his head. "That doesn't mean I want to ruin everyone else's Christmas."
"You're certainly ruining mine," Ginny snapped.
"You … you … you …" Harry sputtered. This was so unfair. "I think I need to take a break from you."
"A break from me? You are the one who just went ahead and scooped this greasy bastard out of an orphanage and brought him back here without even asking if it was all right. And you knew you wouldn't be able to handle the little monster and threw him at my poor, grieving mum to sort! We have to put alarm charms all over the house at night because this foul creep is going to murder us all in our sleep."
A hollowness grew in Harry as Ginny carried on, ending with his fingers tingling. When he was sure she was done, he said, "I see. Well, I guess we'll get out your way then."
He looked to Severus. The boy stood still. His dark eyes were bright, and he blinked rapidly.
"Come on," he said, reaching down to take Severus's hand.
The doorway behind them was filled with Weasleys and other holiday guests.
Harry swallowed and waited an awkward moment as they stared at him.
"Excuse us," he said and led Severus to the stairs.
"Harry," Hermione called.
He heard her on the stairs behind them and left Percy's door open for her.
Harry released Severus's hand after muttering, "That wasn't your fault. Ginny's mad at me, not you."
Hermione closed the door. "What happened?"
"Ginny's angry at me. And I see I shouldn't be staying here. I guess I don't have to explain it to anyone. She did it for me."
"But what about Severus?"
"He'll come with me." Harry's wand moved as he imitated Tonks's packing charms with some success.
"Where?"
"Leaky Cauldron, I guess. For a start."
"What if they have no room?" Hermione asked. "Christmas is a peak time for travelling."
"I'll go somewhere else then."
Severus quietly said, "You talked about my house at hospital."
"What house?" Hermione asked.
"Spinner's End."
Harry said, "But that's yours. I don't have a key or anything."
"I didn't have a key. Mum fixed the doors to open for me."
"I don't know," Hermione said.
"I was there," Harry responded. Not wanting to insult Severus or his family, he added, "It's fine."
"Maybe I should come too," Hermione said. "Give me a moment to pack."
Someone knocked on the door before Hermione made it out of the room.
She opened the door, and Ron entered.
"What's going on?" he asked. "Why are you packing?"
"Ginny made it pretty clear," Harry responded.
"But where will you go?"
"Don't worry about it."
Hermione said, "Be right back," and left.
"Where's she going?"
"To pack," Harry said.
"Why? And why are you packing? Don't listen to Ginny."
"I've been thinking about this for days, Ron, and it's the right thing to do."
"No, it's not." Ron looked to Severus, still standing in the same spot since Harry let go of his hand. "You taking …"
"Of course. Don't be ridiculous, Ron."
"Let me throw some things together and I'll come too."
"No, you're not. I don't want your family any angier at me than they already are."
"They're not angry at you. Yet. Mum's not going to like this."
"That's why you can't come with us. Don't be this year's Percy."
"Percy's here," Ron said.
"I meant in the past when your family and him weren't seeing eye to eye."
"I ain't a git like Percy."
"I don't think Percy sees himself as one," Harry muttered as he looked under the bed.
Hermione flung open the door and threw her bags in. "Be right back." She closed the door.
"Why you taking Hermione with you?" Ron asked again.
"She wanted to go."
"And you bloody well tell me I can't come? Hermione's my girlfriend."
Harry opened his mouth then shut it. He was not stealing Hermione away in a girlfriend/boyfriend sort of way. He had done plenty nights camping in a tent alone with Hermione to prove to Ron he didn't think of Hermione like that.
He finally said, "I don't think we'll have time for that."
"Why? You on the run from my family? Did you do something to Ginny?"
"No," Harry exclaimed. "I didn't have time to plan, and we might move a couple times."
Catching Severus's frown out of the corner of his eye, Harry added, "Maybe." Hermione would love all the books so it was doubtful they'd be moving on before she returned to school.
"Then stay till you do," Ron said.
"No, this has been coming on for a while. I got to stand on my own two feet and all that."
"Huh?"
"Um, I made my bed and need to lie in it?" Harry tried. He adopted Severus and he planned on seeing it through properly.
Hermione came back in carrying a stack of books with a Reuseable Hangman game on top of it. "Severus didn't bring all his things upstairs yet."
Harry was torn. Should he take the gifts, or should he leave them? Hermione seemed to think 'take', and Ron didn't say leave them as she packed them.
Instead Ron said, "Hermione, tell Harry I should come too."
"What? You? Um, maybe in a couple days, Ron. Let's let the dust settle."
"What dust? What does Harry breaking up with Ginny have to do with us?"
"What?" Hermione said. "Nothing. I meant – I don't even know how big this house is. Harry?"
"Oh, two bedrooms," Harry replied. "I think."
"Yes, two," Severus confirmed.
"Perfect," Ron said. "Harry already sleeps with Severus, so I can kip with Hermione."
Hermione glared at Ron.
"Or on a sofa," Ron suggested.
"I'll send you an owl," Hermione said, her expression unchanged.
Harry picked up Severus's coat and helped him put it on. He knew Severus could do it himself, but Harry wanted to do a little extra for him at the moment. This had to be incredibly stressful. Harry certainly felt stressed.
"Is this house on the floo network?" Hermione asked.
"What house?" Ron asked. "Since when do you have a house?"
Severus looked thoughtful. "I don't think so."
"We'll take the Knight Bus then." Hermione reached her arm into her bag to find her coin purse.
After she extracted that, she threw Harry and Severus's things into her bag and snapped it shut.
"I can't bloody believe this," Ron said. "Both of you really don't want me around?"
"Ron, listen," Harry said. "I'm moving, and when I'm settled in, we'll see. But I want to get out of here tonight."
"And I'm going in case Harry has trouble with a spell or something," Hermione added.
"Harry's a wizard and can cast his own bloody spells."
"Don't get dramatic too, Ron," Hermione said. "Ginny's were enough for one evening."
"What? She didn't mean what she said."
Harry steered Severus towards the door and Hermione followed.
*** Cast a Christmas Spell ***
Hours later after a long rambling ride on the Knight Bus, Severus entered his bathroom in Spinner's End to get ready for bed. He turned on the water to brush his teeth and could finally laugh without any witnesses.