I'm so sorry for this. I'm thinking of making it a drabble series, with each chapter focused on a Guardian's encounter with Tsuna. What do you guys think? Interested?

Warning for misgendering, assuming someone's gender identity due to genitalia, etc. Tsuna does identify as a boy, but not everyone assigned male at birth does. Just wanna put that out there.

Today's fic rec is Regression, by Amarielah. Really, everything she writes is great, but that's probably my favorite of her KHR works.

"Ciaossu. I'm here to make you a magical girl."

". . . But I'm a boy."

"Details."

Gokudera Hayato is many things. Unfortunately, a unique intersection of traits and circumstance (bastard son, knows it, incredibly intelligent, knows that too, confrontational, violent, healthy appreciation of explosives) makes him the poster child for problem children.

After it became apparent that his childhood ambition of joining the mafia was not feasible, as his father, despite all indications otherwise, was not actually a mafia don, Hayato is shunted into the same villa where his mother had been kept before her death. He is adequately cared for and wants for nothing, except perhaps for genuine human connection, but such a frivolous thing has no place in his family. (Much like Hayato himself.)

But Hayato is nothing if not adaptable. He develops an obsessive personality so that he will not feel the need for anything other than whatever the fuck he feels like. He trains for hours a day, plays his mother's piano more often than he eats, gradually and unintentionally burns off his fingerprints with fire and explosives.

When Shamal, the closest thing he has to a guardian, finds out, he declares that he won't train him until the skin on his hands fully heals. Hayato scowls. Shamal sighs, tells him he needs a hobby, and leaves, taking all the dynamite with him.

The next day Hayato finds a pile of books on his bed. They're all leisure reading - true crime, mythology, and even smutty romance novels with ridiculous titles that Hayato really hopes Shamal didn't leave him on purpose. He digs out the most scientific-looking tome he can find. It's a book on cryptozoology. He finishes it in three hours.

A new obsession is born.

That is how Hayato eventually finds himself in Japan, staring down what looks like a giant tsuchinoko. A giant tsuchinoko that is. On fire?

This is of no concern to Hayato.

"Amazing! How can it be on fire without burning? And why are the flames such a strange color?" Hayato says, having gotten into the habit of talking to himself just to hear someone long ago and never really getting around to breaking it. A brilliant idea occurs. "If I can get it to attack me, I'll be able to observe its hunting patterns up close! OI, TSUCHINOKO-SAN!"

The giant snake turns to observe him with one slitted yellow eye. Hayato writes down his observations, splattering his fingers with ink in his excitement. He hardly notices the faint noise far above him, growing steadily louder as its source approaches as fast as it can.

"hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE - oof!"

Hayato is tackled by something soft, orange, and moving at an incredibly high velocity. They roll together in a tangle of limbs, hair, and fabric until they come to an abrupt stop, courtesy of a helpful tree trunk.

"Owwww… a-are you all right?!" says something soft, orange, and mercifully at rest.

"What the fuck was that for, you - ah." Hayato blinks rapidly. He must've hit his head pretty hard, because the girl beneath him looks like she's sparkling.

She cushioned him from the worst of the blow, and now she's rubbing at the back of her head with a gauntleted hand even as she observes him anxiously with large, teary orange eyes. Her hair is brown and soft and yanked haphazardly into thick fluffy pigtails that stick straight out to the sides, as if unwilling to be bound. She's wearing a poofy orange dress that dwarfs her tiny figure, her short, frilly skirt rucked up her slim, pale thighs.

She's the most beautiful thing Hayato has ever seen.

He opens his mouth to say so, but all that comes out is a choked noise when he realizes that he's on his hands and knees above her, essentially pinning her to the ground. Before he can scramble back and spout apologies, they're rocketing into the air, even as a giant, fanged maw demolishes the tree behind them.

The girl has one arm around him and the other pointed at the snake, palm open. The gauntlet glows with orange light, and then releases in the form of bright, pure flames, even as they shoot up into the sky from the force.

"Quick! Grab my waist!" the girl says, over the wind's roaring.

"What?!" Hayato yelps.

"Just do it!" she screams, and Hayato's arms snap around her almost of their own accord, at the very height of their arc. He tries very hard not to focus on how nice it feels to hold her, or on how far away the ground is.

And then they're falling, faster and faster and Hayato can't even breathe, can't even see -

There's a burst of overwhelmingly hot fire from her hands and they're flying, now, even faster than they fell, right towards the (now slightly crispy) tsuchinoko. She touches down a little awkwardly and stumbles when she lands. Hayato realizes that carrying his greater weight must have been difficult, even if she hadn't complained.

"A-are you okay?"

Hayato bows at a forty-five degree angle. "YES! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR SAVING MY LIFE!"

"Ahaha, it was really not a big deal," she says, waving her hands, "I was just doing my job."

Hayato peeks up through his bangs. "Job?"

"People like me help keep . . . other people like us in line." She walks over to the unconscious snake and gives its nose an apologetic pat. "This little guy was being mistreated and used for evil by his owner." She fishes a red box from the lacy depths of her dress. "She's a box weapon. Her master got away, though."

"Box weapon?" he asks, fascinated.

She gives him a shy smile that makes something in his chest flip, and opens the box. The tsuchinoko dissolves into crimson light and is sucked in. She tucks it away, and then realizes something.

"Hiiie! I really shouldn't be telling you this!" she says. "Please don't tell anyone else!"

"Ah, I would never!" Hayato insists. It's not like they'd believe me.

"Thank you for being so cooperative!" she says, bowing low, and then she's rocketing into the air before he can stop her.

"Ah, wait -" Hayato abruptly chokes, face turning pink and then red. There are two reasons for this.

One: she isn't wearing shorts over her panties.

Two: she is actually a he.

Even as he's smashing his face into a rock as penance, he can't help but think that he doesn't really mind.