Hermione

Mrs. Weasley didn't look herself. She didn't have her warm smile and she wasn't nearly bursting with her usual overflowing amount of love and joy. All of which was completely understandable and accepted, but it still brought with it its own heavy sadness. The same went for all others in attendance. There was not even the monotonous hum of conversation that usually overtook everything when a gathering this large happened. This was the second time the Burrow had been trapped in silence and it wasn't something I think anyone would be used to.

Today was the day we were going to bury Fred, Lupin, and Tonks. It all felt too real. I almost expected to see Fred sitting with George quietly plotting at the table when I stepped inside. Or to hear Lupin going on about something with Mr. Weasley that would be completely inconsequential but still seemingly important to them. Or to see Tonks making some ridiculous face just to get a laugh out of someone. To realize that I would never see them again was surreal.

"Do you feel as weird as I do?" Harry whispered. We were standing awkwardly in the crowded space of the Burrow living room flanked by the ostentatious and out-of-place Malfoy clan featuring a highly displeased Bellatrix. I was surprised to see her groomed so well. Her hair was no longer matted and didn't resemble a nest of curls, but rather flowed elegantly over her shoulders, framing her face well. She donned a new black dress that didn't scream of wear and tear and misdeeds but rather portrayed her as an elegant woman. I couldn't help but think that this is what Lupin described to me all those years ago.

"I keep thinking I'll see them coming down the stairs or out of some room at any moment."

"I know what you mean. I also feel that maybe bringing them along was a bit inappropriate, but what are you gonna do I guess." Harry tried not to look back at our guests when he said this.

I couldn't help but agree with him. There was no love lost between the two families and their presence would most likely bring out some intense reactions.

"Keep a close eye out just in case." I said as Narcissa made her way cautiously to Mrs. Weasley.

She'd brought along with her a quilt that she knitted by hand as a gift. She came to me before we departed worried that it wouldn't be enough or that it would be inappropriate for her to bring anything, but I assured her that Mrs. Weasley would accept it no matter what it was. I followed close behind out of curiosity. I had never seen Narcissa knitting anything and I honestly don't know where she found the time between all the tasks she'd taken upon herself, however, she said it was something her grandmother taught her to do whenever she was a guest in these types of situations. At least, that's what she told me. I couldn't imagine how often a situation this peculiar would come around.

"Mrs. Weasley, I don't know how to comfort you in this difficult time and I can't imagine that anything I have to offer is truly wanted. I can only imagine the pain you are going through and wish to extend my sincerest condolences." She paused for a moment and ran a hand thoughtfully over the neatly folded quilt. "I made this as a gift for you, but now that I face you I feel silly and horribly underprepared. My grandmother taught me how and I know it means very little coming from me, but I thought…well honestly, I don't really know what I thought. I just-."

To what must have been everyone's surprise Mrs. Weasley stood slowly and leveled her with an unreadable gaze, then suddenly wrapped Narcissa Malfoy in one of her signature hugs. One that encompasses all of your being until there's nothing to be seen or felt but whatever emotion she wanted to portray to you.

I felt I wasn't meant to be witnessing it.

Harry must have felt the same way, "I think the ceremony is being held outside. We should go find our seats I think."

"I think you're right, I'm sure Mrs. Weasley will show Narcissa the way."

Outside the sun was shining and a light breeze blew through the yard every so often. It was a comfortable temperature, not harsh in either direction. On any other day, I would imagine the Weasley clan thoroughly engrossed in a game of Quidditch right now. Or Fred and George testing out their new products, causing mayhem in the middle of a peaceful afternoon. Just another day at the Burrow. Instead, the air was tainted with grief.

"Narcissa', huh? You two have gotten pretty close, haven't you? I supposed that's good and inevitable seeing how much time the two of you spend together." He didn't sound upset about it, but I still felt uncomfortable. I hadn't seen nearly enough of Harry outside of mealtimes. Honestly, we were both so busy lately that I hadn't noticed that I missed him until this exact moment when we were in this familiar place with shared friends.

"Yes, she's actually been very nice to me and understanding of what we've been through. I don't know why you haven't talked to her yet. She's nothing like before, almost unrecognizable. Although, you've been spending a lot of time with Draco something even his own mother can't manage."

Harry took the seat next to me, trying to speak as quietly as possible, "It feels weird doesn't it? One minute we're fighting for our lives and the next we're living with the people that were closest to Voldemort. I know you were ready to jump into this for your own reasons, but come on Hermione, even you have to admit all of this happened absurdly fast."

"That was my first thought actually. When Kingsley came to me I thought he was out of his mind to ask so much of me not even a full twenty-four hours after the war ended, but I knew I would have to eventually and there wasn't anything else I saw myself doing. There was a time when I thought I might return to Hogwarts and finish my education, but I can't imagine it ever being the same especially without you and Ron and some secret quest. After seeing it destroyed and covered in blood, after seeing our friends die there. I don't think I will ever be able to stay there and think of anything else." I replied honestly.

"I see your point, but in a way, this is nice. For the first time in my entire life, I have nothing that I'm expected to do. No life or death favors, no need to fetch this or that, no need to hunt, and no being hunted. Well, as far as I know. I have free time." Harry said, with a smile on his face so relaxed I don't think I've seen it since our first-year meeting at Hogwarts.

"Free time you spend outside of my company. Where do you and Draco go? I hardly see you although we live under the same roof." I teased, although I did miss his company.

"The same can be said for you! I heard you're having tea and gardening while I'm doing the hard work of getting rid of gnomes and other pests, heavy lifting and everything." We laughed for a moment, a complete juxtaposition to our surroundings. I couldn't help but think that Fred would have wanted as much laughter at his funeral as possible. Maybe if he had the time and lived a full life he would have had some elaborate prank planned out. One last hoorah.

It was quite sometime before Narcissa finally entered with Mrs. Weasley at her side. It seemed that losing her son and the numbing time since has softened her demeanor. They were followed by Mr. Weasley and the remaining Weasley children. It was a relief to see so many familiar faces though it pained me to see them so sad.

Ron spotted us and gave us a strained smile and motioned for us to join the rest of the family up front. I knew we couldn't leave our guests, but I also knew Harry would want to be with his family.

"You can go, I'll stay here and keep an eye out." I assured him.

"You sure?" He asked, and I pushed him toward the front where Ron was waiting. He looked at me puzzled for a moment when I didn't get up to follow but thankfully decided that this wasn't the time to press.

Everyone settled into their seats while the last stragglers, including Draco who stayed behind with his mother, filed into the large tent. Among them were Andromeda and Ted Tonks. I saw Narcissa sit a bit straighter in her seat next to me. I know she cared a great deal for her older sister and could only imagine what she was thinking at the moment. On the other side of me, however, I felt the eldest Black daughter tense. As if there was a war of conflicting emotions roaring inside her. I wanted to ask what she was thinking but knew that my question would only be seen as nosy prying and be met with hostility. Draco seemed to slip back into his passive shell, guarding himself in this environment where he knew almost no one.

Andromeda and Ted took seats along the front row along with the Weasley's. It was quite odd to see the juxtaposition between the two families. Although Andromeda sat with the Weasleys she wore a dress that was in a similar fashion to the other Black sisters. They all looked so noble and extravagant it was hard to remember they were here for a funeral and not a ball with their ominous trains trailing behind them like shadows, they stuck out more than they should. As opposed to the Weasleys who wore their very best, but in comparison, the two families looked as if they should be in separate rooms. Now there were no lines or egos to divide them, just mourning to bind them.

Finally, the ceremony began. A ministry official took his place at the small podium behind the portraits of the fallen. His speech was much the same as the one given at Dumbledore's funeral. Professional and oddly detached. More like someone reading off a list of accomplishments rather than honoring their life. I suppose that's to be expected from an appointed ministry official. They didn't know Fred or Lupin or Tonks. This was most likely just one of several ceremonies he would have to officiate this week. His old wizened face looked like it had taken on several more years of age recently. His brow seemed permanently set in a sorrowful state and his eyes were lifeless and dull, even for someone in his profession. Just another by-product of the end of a war.

I thought back to what Harry said about everything happening so quickly. Maybe he was right. It seemed I was the only one who had made a clean jump into life again. There was still so much grief and sorrow that I wasn't actively aware of. Of course, I knew that families were grieving for loved ones and that there were those tasked with the despairing task of putting those lost to rest but knowing it and actually seeing it are two completely different things. Being hidden away from it all has spared me from experiencing the brunt of it. For that, I feel guilty. I retreated into my own problems and there was so much more going on with others. I wasn't there for Ginny or Ron when they needed me most.

The official finished his droning speech rather quickly, or maybe it seemed quick because his voice never wavered with emotion and spoke with such practiced bored ease that he was quicker than I remember. The little man seemed just a bit smaller leaving the podium than he did when he went up. As if each time he officiates the weight of grief folds him over just a little more.

I expect Mr. or Mrs. Weasley to speak next but was thoroughly surprised when Andromeda Tonks stood gracefully and made her way to the center. She wore a modest, yet elegant black dress gown and a black veil that looked to be woven with fine diamonds of some sort. It was actually the same design as the ones donned by her sisters, a family tradition it seems. It was odd how much she looked like Narcissa at that moment. Not quite as fancily dressed, but still elegant and striking. Respected. I sensed Bellatrix tense again next to me. One day I would understand why simply seeing her youngest sister unsettled her so much, however, today was not that day.

Andromeda cleared her voice quietly, but in the silence of the enchanted tent, the small noise was almost larger than life. She slowly lifted her veil and revealed the glossy, bloodshot eyes underneath. I felt my heart break for her as I knew what it felt like to see your family disappear around you. The only silver lining I saw for her was the love and support of her husband and the possibility of reuniting with her family. She'd been through so much familial turmoil already, this must have been a heart-wrenching tragedy.

"I don't even know where to begin," her voice was thick with emotion, "It warms my heart to see so many here. Regardless of whom you are here to mourn we all share the same deep sorrow. It is that sorrow that sits heavy in my heart and will for the rest of my life." Her voice broke as her eyes fell on the picture of her daughter, her unmistakable smile lighting up her face as a silent giggle broke from her chest every once in a while.

"For those of you who knew my daughter, knew the light and joy that she created with just her personality and a smile, knew the genuine love that she had for her family and the lengths she would go to protect them. Only if you knew that Nymphadora, Dora, would you know why she left for Hogwarts that night. Why she put the lives of so many she cared for ahead of her son. To her it was an easy choice, she loved and cared for the Weasley's, Remus, and Harry as if they were her own. Because they were. My daughter was so full of love that she had no choice but to spread it to all those she knew." She paused and took the time to wipe a few errant tears away. I found myself doing the same. How she kept herself so composed while speaking of her daughter who she would only know in memory now was beyond me. It took a special strength.

"I think that is what drew her to Remus. He was more selective with his affection. Given the life he lived, it was only understandable. But, beneath his armor, there was a man so full and caring only someone as stubborn as my daughter could properly bring it out of him. I'm glad she did. The man I welcomed into my family had seen and been through so much, but when he smiled at my daughter…or their son, there was the purest happiness I'd ever seen. A true appreciation for the life he lived. Remus fought that night not only out of duty but also out of worry. The kind of worry that only a parent knows. The worry that his family would come to harm. He gave his life protecting them. All of them. Not just little Teddy and Dora, but his entire family. Those that welcomed him with open arms and let him grow into the man that my daughter loved. Their sacrifice was not in vain; however, their legacy lives on through their son who will know all he needs to understand what his parents gave away so that he can see a future without threat. So that all of us may live freely. I refuse to feel morose because they are longer with us, that would be a disservice to their memory. Instead, I will make the most of the new life they gave us and enjoy every moment with my grandson that they have given me. I only wish that I could have seen them smile again one last time. For my last vision of them to be one of happiness, but I will make do with the memories." She was actively crying by the end of it and not alone either. Several others were crying myself included. Even Narcissa, while stoic, shed silent tears for her sister while Bellatrix looked carefully blank, almost as if she couldn't let herself react or she would be betraying herself.

It angered me for a moment that her own stubborn pride got in the way of mourning her niece with her sisters, but quickly remembered what Narcissa told me. There was so much I didn't understand about Bellatrix and what she and her family had been through. Certainly, more than Narcissa and at least Andromeda had a new family to accept her. Bellatrix was severely closed off and for good reason likely. Preferring to pry in other's lives rather than give them a chance to dig around in hers. Maybe it wasn't that pride got in the way of her emotions, maybe she just didn't know how to express what she felt in front of others. Even if the situation was appropriate, of course she was never the type to shed a tear in public.

Mrs. Weasley met Andromeda as she stepped down and wrapped her in another one of her motherly hugs before ushering her back to her seat. Mrs. Weasley sat in a newly vacated seat and held Andromeda as the two sat and cried softly, sharing the grief of a lost child. It reminded me of my mother, how she would never have to mourn my loss, only I hers. I truly missed her.

I focused my attention back to the podium where a familiar head of red hair and freckles sent an unbearable pain through my heart. George stood slumped, lines of worry and distress prematurely etched into his face, not even a shadow of a smile evident. Far different than the laughing young man so full of life that I had once known. He spoke, and his voice was thick with the signs of crying.

"Hello, I'm George, just in case any of you might have confused me with the fellow in the picture." He let out a weak laugh, but even to him, the joke felt ill-timed. "Sorry, that was bad. They've all been bad recently. I worked best with my brother, he and I shared a special bond born mostly over mischief much to my mother's dismay. But, more than that, he knew my secrets before even I did. I could tell him anything and I knew he would understand what I meant. We felt like two halves to a whole. I know cliché for twins, but it was true. Now, that he's gone I don't know what to do. All my plans were our plans. Without him here they don't exist."

George tried not to glance at his brother's portrait, choosing instead to stare at some spot in the middle of the crowd. "I never thought that he wouldn't make it. Death wasn't something we ever thought about, it wasn't part of our plan. Still, I assumed when it happened we would go out together. Preferably with a bang, if any of you know the story our last day at Hogwarts then you know what I mean." He laughed quietly and there seemed to be a genuine smile on his face as he reminisced. Even I had to crack a small smile at the memory of the twins riding away from Hogwarts amid the brilliant firework dragon while Umbridge bristled and turned a horrid shade of red. Then his face suddenly crumpled into despair. "I don't know what to do without him. I'm sorry mum, but I wish I'd gone with him! I wish I'd gone with him."

In an instant Ron was there holding him, letting him cry on his shoulder before escorting them both back to their seats. An empty silence eagerly amplified the sound of George's gasping cries as the pain poured out of him in waves. I covered my mouth to choke back a sob of my own.

There was a moment of shock where no one knew exactly what to do, unsure if there is another speaker or if we should pretend not to notice the aching moment. Then Mr. Weasley stood, eyes red-rimmed, and clasped his hands together. He couldn't put on the gentle smile he was known for as he spoke faintly, "Thank you all for coming. I believe that is all for the ceremony, but there are deserts and other refreshments inside so please, help yourselves."

Quietly the seats emptied as guests made their way to the refreshments and I was stuck. I was torn between going to comfort my friends or letting them have their moment. I knew they considered me family, but Harry had always been closer with the Weasley unit than I was, even with…whatever Ron and I were doing. Would it be awkward? Of course it would take in the setting, Hermione. There was a gentle hand on my shoulder bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sure they would appreciate your company, especially now. It's been so long." Narcissa's eyes had softened since we arrived and now sported a layer of mist. I glance back at the family, hugging each other tightly. I almost can't make out Harry he meshes so well with them, the only sign of him is a spot of wild, dark hair amidst a sea of red.

She was right, of course. I gave her a gentle smile in thanks to her calming reassurance. Just as I was about to make my way over to them a much firmer hand replaced the one Narcissa had just removed. I turned expecting to see Bellatrix. She was the only other person I'd spoken to on a somewhat regular basis for the past month. I was surprised to see Draco, face stoic as ever.

"Yes, Draco?" I asked only mildly confused.

For a moment he struggled with his words, "I would like to accompany you."

I was taken aback, "You want to go with me? Why?"

My response wasn't taken well, and I regretted my wording immediately, "To pay my respects to the family, of course! You're not the only decent one around here you know. My mother raised me to be a gentleman." Draco huffed.

"It just took a bit longer for that particular lesson to take, I guess." Draco's face grew red with indignation and I turned away from him before he could respond.

Finally, being up close to them I had no clue how I was to proceed. Do I say something? Tap someone on the shoulder? Just wait until I'm noticed.

Draco being the straight forward man that he is, decided for me by clearing his throat rather loudly and respectfully.

Ginny looked up first. "Hermione! Is that Malfoy with you?" Her voice was thick with tears.

"Yes, we've just come to pay our respects, but I didn't want to interrupt." I answered.

"Oh, shut up! You're one of us." Ginny replied, pulling me into the warm hug. I was almost crushed by the sheer force of all the arms trying to squeeze their love and appreciation into me.

I let myself melt into the feeling of being surrounded by so many familiar faces before I remembered Draco. I looked over and he stood there awkwardly shuffling, trying to keep his face from showing any discomfort. The Malfoy's and Black's were not a very physically affectionate family as I had observed.

"Um, I believe Draco had something he wanted to say." I pulled away from the hug and I felt a bit bad for him as all the eyes of the Weasley clan were now warily taking him in. For such a genial family, they could be a bit intimidating when they wanted to be. The only face he would be somewhat comfortable with would be Harry's.

He cleared his throat again for what must have been nerves, "Yes, I just wanted to offer my condolences as Hermione said. I wasn't on the best of terms with Fred, as a matter of fact, we all were quite nearly enemies. He didn't deserve this though. He was brave for fighting, but he shouldn't have had to. If I hadn't been so foolish and scared, maybe things would have turned out different." He paused, swallowing thickly, "I'm sorry."

There was a moment of silence where the family just stared in shock, unable to process the fact that Draco Malfoy had offered a very heartfelt and genuine apology of his own volition. It was Mr. Weasley who first pulled him in and wrapped him in a firm hug. I could see Draco release a large breath and the tension left his body for the first time in what was probably a long time. The rest of the family followed suit and soon Draco was in the very unfamiliar position of being in the middle of a Weasley family hug. This was different. Draco relaxed more with the Weasleys, who he made fun of and belittled throughout our entire time at Hogwarts than he did with his own mother and especially his aunt. I wonder why that was?

"Draco, your mother is looking for you." Bellatrix' strong voice suddenly sounded from behind me, well more accurately above me. I turned and nearly jumped from my skin at the closeness, my face was very nearly in her corseted chest. Very, very nearly. I felt my face heat from my ears down my neck. Not helped at all when she turned her intense gaze to me.

"Granger, something on your mind?" She cocked an eyebrow at me and I felt my face grow even hotter.

Without even attempting to rationalize what happened I turned back and gave a forced smile. "Well then, we should probably get to the others, right?"

"I for one am in no hurry to go in there. No one has noticed me yet, but I'm sure that will change as soon as I set foot in that tent, your nice memorial will turn into quite the scandalous affair." Bellatrix continued, not noticing my discomfort or not caring enough to step aside. She was so close I felt her body heat across my back and neck.

Mrs. Weasley disentangled herself from the mass of limbs and wiped away a few errant tears, "I believe you're right. Not that I don't trust you, but I know the relatives can be a bit…pestering, I hope not to offend you when I say that I expect more restraint from you than them."

Stepping from between them I took a chance and glanced at Bellatrix' face to see her raise an eyebrow before snorting and walking away. Draco followed suit and was followed by the others, all hugging someone for comfort.

Ron stayed behind, hands shoved in his pockets and feet shuffling. "Hey 'Mione, are you alright? You look a bit off."

I didn't really know what I was feeling to be quite honest, but "off" seemed like an understatement. "I'm fine, this is all just overwhelming I think. Just emotions."

He nodded slowly before stepping up beside me. There was a moment of hesitation before he wrapped an arm awkwardly around my shoulder. He waited, not saying a word, seeing if I would shrug him away. It felt odd, but not wholly unpleasant. I relaxed into him and he became more comfortable. We slowly made our way out into the tent, but just before entering he stopped and turned to me.

"I've, er, missed you. A lot actually. I meant to write you, I mean write you back, but with everything I kind of-."

"Ron, it's okay. I understand. Things have been hectic with me as well." I assured him.

His face clouds with something not quite like anger, more like mistrust. "You must be going mental trapped in the same house as them."

The tone of his voice was off-putting for a reason I couldn't quite place. It made me want to draw myself away from him, but I ignored that feeling. "Actually, I've quite enjoyed the company of Narcissa. Draco and Bellatrix are hardly ever seen except for at meals. Well, Harry sees Draco on a regular basis, but you'd have to ask him how that is."

He gave me an odd look for a moment, "Narcissa? You mean Mrs. Malfoy?" He asked, looking decidedly puzzled.

I didn't understand his confusion, "Yes, that is her surname."

"You called her by her first name. Are you close?"

Realization dawned on me, "Oh, well, yes. We've grown really close since we spend so much time restoring the mansion. She's very nice and welcomed company."

He hesitated, "It's nice that you have a friendly face around. Besides Harry, you know."

"I actually don't see that much of Harry. He and Draco clean out other parts of the mansion, while Narcissa and I restore the places they clean." I explained.

"And Bellatrix? Has she been harassing you?" His mistrust was clearer now. Just barely holding back from anger.

I remembered flashes of that evening. The one that had been haunting me ever since. Flashes of livid screams and thrown books, the painful grip of cold hands wrapped around my arms, pushing me away. "Bellatrix is…Bellatrix. She keeps to herself."

The anger present in Ron didn't leave but partially gave way to mild worry. However, he didn't voice his concern. Choosing instead to grab my hand and enter the tent at last.

The mood on the inside of the enchanted tent was completely different from that of the ceremony that had just concluded outside. Excited chatting and loud laughter prevailed as everyone sat around tables overflowing with food and drinks. I guess surviving certain death had that effect on people. They could be completely consumed by grief one moment and overflowing with joy and life the next. Not wasting a single moment. This is better anyway. This is how Fred would have wanted it.

I scanned the room and saw several familiar faces, all chatting and smiling at one another. No doubt recounting stories of some odd encounter with Tonks or Fred. It warmed my heart.

Narcissa and Draco were sitting at a table at the far end of the tent, surprisingly surrounded by the other members of the Weasley clan. Bellatrix was nowhere to be found which was cause for worry. Arriving at the table Ron went to sit next to Harry but found that both seats at his side were occupied. Ginny on one side and Draco on the other. A bit annoyed he went to the next available seat next to Bill.

"Have you seen Bellatrix? I thought she would have been here already." I asked Narcissa from over her shoulder, not wanting to announce to the entire table that I had lost track of the temperamental woman.

Narcissa caught on, "No, the last I saw of her she was still with you all outside." I couldn't tell if the worry on her face was due to genuine concern for her sister's disappearance or for fear of what her sister could be getting up to on her own.

"She left before we did. Don't worry, I'll find her. There's not much she could have gotten up to without a wand, right?" The look I received in return said that she knew very well everything that her sister could get up to wand or not.

I turned to leave the table but was stopped by Ron speaking out and drawing everyone's attention. "Where are you going, Hermione?"

Turning back, it was as I feared, all eyes were on me. I didn't want to tell them exactly why I was leaving so I thought being as vague as possible would help. "I left something outside. I'm just going to go look for it."

"Oh, let me help you then." Ron made to get up and follow but having him around would surely aggravate Bellatrix.

"No!" I exclaimed too hastily, startling everyone. "I mean, I can find it. Stay and enjoy the food. Usually, it's so hard for you to resist don't tell me you've changed that much." He cracked that familiar crooked smile and settled back into his seat thankfully letting me go alone.

Outside felt odd now that I had experienced the liveliness of inside, it felt too calm. Seeing as the laughter didn't carry out here that must mean the tent was not only enchanted to be larger but also sound proof. That was probably a good idea seeing how excitable the Weasley family could get.

There was no immediate sign of the other woman where the ceremony was held so I did a quick check inside the house. It looked as if no one had entered the house since the morning and after no one answered my calls I figured she must be somewhere else outside.

Heading out behind the tent I finally saw her leaning against the fence, hip jutting out to the side. I found myself frozen where I stood unsure whether it was best to proceed or head back inside now that I knew the woman wasn't causing any trouble.

"I can hear your indecisiveness, Granger. What do you want?" The clarity of her voice startled me, almost as if she were standing right behind me again. I felt an unexplained chill run down my spine. Finally turning to face me she leaned back and crossed her arms, "Well?"

I stepped forward slowly, "I just was checking up. Narcissa didn't know where you were. I figured you would be the first inside to avoid everyone, but you weren't. She was worried."

"Was she worried about my well-being or for what I might be getting up to unsupervised?"

I didn't know how to answer that. "Why can't it be both?"

She seemed to think about that for a moment, conceding the point. "So, if she was the worried one, why are you here instead?"

That's a very good question, "It's my responsibility to keep you out of trouble."

"Of course." She snorted.

We stood in awkward silence, her staring intensely, expectantly, and I trying desperately not to make eye contact.

"Hermione…" She called out almost softly.

The use of my name was so startling my eyes snapped to hers and my eyebrows drew together.

"What do you want?" She almost whispered, and the damn chill made its presence known again.

What did I want? Why was I still here when clearly, she was fine on her own? I should head back inside with everyone else. Except, this was the first time we'd been alone together since the incident. It felt like walking on more eggshells than usual around her now which made things increasingly more difficult.

"I'm sorry for invading your privacy. About the nightmare-." I started quietly only to be intensely interrupted.

"You had no right-."

"I know! I know I was just worried. I didn't know what was happening and I thought you were in some kind of danger. I didn't think, I was running on auto-pilot." I explained, hoping that this wasn't a massive overstep.

"What is that?" She asked abruptly.

"What is what, exactly?"

"Auto-whatever you said. What does that even mean?"

"Oh, that is something used in muggle planes to help pilots. It basically means automatic." I explained, face heating from embarrassment.

I expected a scolding about muggle practices and inferiority but instead all I received was a slightly confused, "Hm."

The silence was back now and no less uncomfortable.

"I overreacted. I apologize for attacking you. And throwing books." She added the last part so nonchalantly that I thought throwing books was routine for her if her temper got high enough.

"Old habits. I suppose I'm still operating like this is wartime. Every scream is a siren of danger. I think the worst." I explained, wrapping my arms around myself, the images of Malfoy Manor and a burning Hogwarts playing in my mind. It didn't help that we were at a funeral.

Suddenly Bellatrix wrapped an arm around my shoulders much like Ron had earlier only this felt odd for a different reason I couldn't quite explain. It was unfamiliar because Bellatrix was so aloof and private, not someone who casually initiated contact with people she wasn't even on great terms with. Despite that I found myself relaxing and being led.

"Come on, Granger. I figure you will worry if I'm out of your sight for more than five minutes, so let's head back inside. Enjoy the festivities and such." She sounded almost cheerful though I'm sure that was an act.

I don't know what I expected to see when we entered the tent, but having every eye slowly turn to follow our entrance was overwhelming. I felt the embarrassment creep across my face as the room fell silent. There was no telling how anyone would react to seeing the witch let alone seeing her so comfortable and familiar with me.

She leaned closer to whisper in my ear sounding almost gleeful, "All eyes on me then? Maybe I should have slipped in early like you suggested."

I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally made it to the table, but there was no respite from Bellatrix' proximity as she took the last available seat which just so happened to be next to mine. I sat frozen in fear for what would happen next, entirely uncertain of the reaction.

"What the bloody hell is she doing here!" A shout went up from an unknown man and was quickly backed by sounds of agreement from all over. The sense of dread I had been trying to hold back was now fully realized.

Before the outraged cries could escalate into anything more Mrs. Weasley took it upon herself to calm the masses. "Please! You should be ashamed of yourselves! This is a time for mourning and celebrating life, not for your crusades."

"She should be ashamed for showing her face here. How many memorials has she been responsible for in this war alone.?" Spat someone who I'm sure was a distant Weasley relative somehow.

"The war is done. What we've lost we can never get back so why dwell? Would vengeance bring my beloved Fred back? Would killing the woman who had nothing to do with his death but everything to do with our victory make any difference? If it would I could strike her down now where she sits wandless and vulnerable." To this Bellatrix gave an unimpressed snort. "It won't change a thing. Let go or become the monsters you fear."

We all sat in silence, waiting for someone to challenge yet again. Surprisingly, Neville Longbottom stood quietly from the table he occupied with his grandmother. The shell of the nervous boy was no longer present and, in his place, stood a resilient young man. He gave the room a once over before clearing his throat. "I believe I have as much of a grudge as anyone here, but I'm working to put it behind me. Bellatrix helped win us the war in ways a lot of us couldn't even begin to imagine, there was so much going on behind the scenes. I would like to know and maybe understand why it was that she tortured my parents, but I don't want revenge. Not even a little bit. There's so much more to live for now, and like it or not she was a part in bringing us this peace. That doesn't excuse her wrongdoing, but maybe give her a chance to show that things will be different now."

Not wanting to leave the floor open for anymore arguing Mrs. Weasley made a point to give Neville her most genuine smile before sitting back down with the family and making inconsequential conversation with her sons. Successfully closing the door to any more interjections as other conversations began to pick back up all around the tent.

Bellatrix looked around the table making a point not to spend too much time staring in the general direction of Andromeda even though said sister hadn't stopped intently staring since Bellatrix entered. "Well then, I'm famished." She said, shrugging her shoulders and piling a plate with foods I don't believe she actually planned to eat.

From across the table, Ron gave her a brief look of contempt before refocusing on me. "Sorry about all this, must be hard enough with what you have to go through every day."

"Exactly what do you mean by that, Weasel?" Bellatrix snapped suddenly, nearly causing Ron to jump from his skin it seemed.

He recovered quickly and set his jaw, "Just that it must be a lot for Hermione to be separated from everyone she knows and be surrounded by…strangers all of a sudden."

"Very bold of you to speak on her behalf." Bellatrix retorted.

"You know that you and your sister are more than welcome to visit as often and for as long as you would like, don't you?" Narcissa interrupted, seeming almost shocked at the idea that Hermione was being forcibly isolated from those she loved.

Ron fixed her with an almost dumbfounded gaze while he thought that over, "I guess I hadn't really thought about that. It would be nice to see you more frequently, Hermione."

"And me as well, I'm sure." Harry chimed in, sensing the building tension and clapping a brotherly hand around Ron's shoulder.

"Absolutely, mate!"

It was strange having dinner with the Weasley's again and even more odd that Narcissa was comfortable enough to freely converse with them as if this were a regular occurrence. The table as a whole collectively decided that trying to engage Bellatrix would be fruitless so after a few wary glances no one even bothered to try, too content to pretend that she wasn't even there.

With Narcissa effectively enrapturing the older Weasley's with elegant conversation and sensitive inquiries while Harry told Ron and Ginny what he'd been up to for the past weeks there were not many options for company. Draco had completely withdrawn into himself once again and I didn't very much feel like regaling anyone with my tales of redecorating and gardening. Still, it felt off to just sit here silently picking around a feast that could rival Hogwarts's while all those I cared about were trying their best to make merry. I had nothing to say that didn't fall back to crushing grief, but it felt as though I was expected to contribute somewhere at some point.

"Feeling a bit alienated as well then, Pet?" Her words came as a sharp and sudden break from my thoughts almost as if she had yelled them though I'm sure she did no more than whisper conspiratorially.

"It's written plain as day on your face, but it seems I'm the only one who cares enough to see. Or maybe the only one crass enough to point it out? Ah, who knows." She went back to unpleasantly devouring whatever poor poultry found it's way onto her plate. Behavior that would have surely garnered a scolding from Narcissa had she been paying attention. The sight of her eating as if she feared someone might come and steal her plate reminded me so much of Ron that I took a moment to glance at him and remind myself that he was still, in fact, sitting across the table talking animatedly with Harry.

"I don't know what you mean." I barely mumbled, already this was too much interaction with the witch than I cared for in one day. She had a way of being maddeningly confusing, always toying with words and saying things that were somehow insanely sane.

"Oh, sure you do. They're ignoring your little mood just as much as they're ignoring me, and you don't want to speak with them either. Before you open your annoying little mouth to contest think for a moment; if you really wanted to be part you would just talk to them. They are your friends, right? Instead, you wallow in misplaced guilt and self-pity." Just like that, she put words to my innermost pain and although a part of me wanted to protest every word she had just spoken on sheer principle and to take back a shred of self-respect, I felt the rebuttal dying on my lips.

She was right and what was the point of arguing when even as the words stung I felt a morsel of the guilt leave my shoulders. "I know I have no place to pity myself, but I can't help it. Even as I mourn I can't help but think that I would rather have buried my parents than to live knowing that they have no memory of me. No knowledge of the love we shared. I can never go to them for comfort again, can't even pop by for a visit from time-to-time. Only I carry the burden of what was lost between us and that feels infinitely worse than them being laid to rest knowing me until their dying breath."

She didn't respond and for that, I was grateful for having been spared what would no doubt have been some biting remark about weakness and perspective. However, when I chanced a look into her eyes there almost seemed to be empathy there, not derision. It was always unexpected when she decided to show a moment of humanity, I never know what they mean, but they carry so much weight regardless.

"What do you have to be guilty about? You didn't kill anyone here. The only person allowed to feel guilty here is me, although I suspect Potter is hoarding more than his fair share." She said in a much softer tone than previously.

That was harder to answer just because, rationally, it didn't make sense to feel guilty. "I don't know, really. I feel like I have no place here among their grief and no way to comfort them."

"They don't ask for more than your company. Although you're being withdrawn, just being here at all to remind them of everyone that survived is more than enough. Not to mention your loss as well. If there is one thing to bond you all together it is that you are all grieving someone."

I looked around at the table and saw all the laughter and smiles that only barely hid the anguish, apprehension, and sorrow from several months of turmoil and loss and finally felt connected. Was finally able to recognize that feeling within myself and equate it to what everyone around me felt. All thanks to the prodding and unexpectedly helpful Bellatrix.

I turn and get a good look at the older woman as she absently downs a goblet of firewhiskey, curiosity overflowing. "Sometimes you make a lot of honest sense you know that?"

She finished her drink before responding, "I make sense more often than you think. I'm much more sane than anyone gives me credit for."

"Probably because you have no qualms about torturing and killing innocents."

"Who said that?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Your actions?" I responded in exasperation because that was obvious to anyone with eyes.

"My actions look vastly different depending on the amount of circumstance you are privy to. Who's to say that I'm not deeply traumatized by what I've done." She retorted in that maddeningly playful way she seems to have perfected.

"Maybe now that it's all said and done yeah, but at the time you looked to thoroughly enjoy it."

"I didn't enjoy torturing you." She said plainly. "Could it be that perhaps I'm very good at putting on a show. Especially when others, those who report my every move, are watching?"

I didn't know how to respond. It did make a twisted amount of sense when you put it that way.

"I imagine it is similar to what you do when you pretend to fawn over the Weasel when around his family. Always acting as expected."

My seat creaked with the force with which I turned to face her, full of indignation, "It is not at all similar!"

She observed me for a moment with that inane smirk before downing yet another glass of firewhiskey, "Then again what do I know? I'm just a drunk, insane, old Death Eater."

A response danced on the tip of my tongue but before I could vocalize it Neville appeared at Bellatrix shoulder. He stood tall and confident, but the way he anxiously wrung his hands together gave away his nerves.

"I'd like a word with you, Bellatrix." I admired the way his voice didn't waver even the slightest.

"As if I were in any position to refuse. Oh! That is if it's quite alright with you, Granger?" She was being sarcastic of course.

"By all means."

Now would be the time to integrate myself into the conversation I suppose. I turned to see Ron and George thoroughly engaged in an intense drinking game with Ginny egging them on. I'd never seen either of them drink much, but somehow this was completely in character for the competitive and fun-loving brothers.

"I've got five Galleons on George drinking Ron under the table." I add, mischief clear in my voice.

"You're on, Granger." Harry pipes up with a grin.

Bellatrix

I followed the boy back out into the yard and he stopped along the same stretch of fence that Granger found me against earlier. I waited for him to get comfortable and to finally speak up which began to take much longer than anticipated.

"Longbottom, not that your company isn't riveting, but what is that you want from me?" I asked, better to cut straight to it than wait for him to get around to asking.

He cleared his throat and squared his jaw, "I want to know why you put me on your visitors list." His eyes held worry barely hidden behind a hardened gaze.

"I'm sure you think I'm up to no good. Some cruel ploy to cause you more pain than I already have but I assure you I have honest intentions. I thought I would take this opportunity to extend an invitation. I have so much to make up for and that's just to you. If you are comfortable or deem me worthy enough to take this small pitiful request of me, my door is always open to you."

His brow furrowed in confusion, "So, what? You think we can hash it out with some tea and a pleasant chat?"

"Not at all. I expect a fair amount of anger, screeching, and silence. Depending on your mood and how you receive what I have to tell you of course. You have already expressed that you want an explanation, to get out years of pent up frustration that you must harbor for me, or to just get away from the inane hero worship and keep some of that humility you lot are so proud of then the doors of Black Manor are always open to you young man."

He took to shuffling his feet and I was reminded of how much of a boy he still was, childhood stolen from him by losing his parents, a war that could have gone much differently for him had prophecies played out differently, and too much responsibility on his shoulders. There was so little I could do for him outside of this proposal, whether he took it or not I did genuinely hope that he found peace in the coming years.

"Well, whatever you do stay away from Rita Skeeter, for the sake of your sanity. She will indeed try to suck you dry since she can't get to her darling Potter. I'm going to head back inside before my various jailers get too worried."

There was a moment of silence before the sound of heavy footsteps and shuffling grass followed behind me.

Retaking my seat at the table I was only somewhat surprised to see that no one seemed to notice my absence or my return. That is no one besides the three sets of eyes trying desperately not to seem too concerned with me.

"Can I help you, Granger? Perhaps something that will calm you and my nosey sisters." I asked, filling my glass with more than the acceptable amount of firewhiskey.

"What did you and Neville talk about?" She asked sounding as if she were afraid of the response.

"That is between me, Longbottom, and that nosey bastard Kingsley." Her eyes snapped back to her plate as if I'd struck her. I sighed, "I'm not planning to convert him or whatever it is you're afraid of."

She looked surprised, "I wasn't thinking that at all. I don't think you would. I was just curious, I suppose. You don't talk much, and you explain less of what you do. I guess I want to pick your brain a bit. Get to know you better."

"I don't deny for one minute that you're curious, however, I doubt that your fascination reaches further than that. Look at the people sitting at just this table who know me, and I mean really know me. They are my family and Longbottom, and their lives are much worse for having me so permanently in it. For your sake, keep your distance girl."

She sat silently for a moment before responding, "With all due respect, I disagree, and that decision is my own to make. Why are you so averse to people thinking you're more than your past actions? Don't you want people to see you as more than some lunatic that murders people without a second thought?"

"What good is what I want? My damage is done no matter what I want from people. You saw it here tonight. What I've done is stuck with every living witch and wizard forever. Nothing I do now can change that." She watched as I downed my drink.

"That must be horribly lonely. Why would anyone choose to live like that when they don't have to?"

"You're working on the assumption that any of this is a choice. Some of us were never blessed with that particular luxury."

"You're choosing to be alone now even though you don't have to. I already know what you've done and yet I am still here pulling teeth to get to know you as a person. At least make my job in this easier by talking to me about something other than bigoted, outdated politics."

"If it's such a miserable job why did you take it?"

"Did you want to end up in prison again? Cold and alone for the rest of your life."

I snorted, "This feels like prison."

"Only because you make it so. However, you'll notice the hot meals, comfortable beds, ample space, and lack of dementors." She replied a bit snappily.

I cast a sidelong glance at her for a moment. She did have a point; I didn't have to tell her that though.

"You're always silent when I make a point so whether you say so or not, I know that you know I'm right."

Still, I refused to acknowledge her.

"Are all purebloods this stubborn or is this quality unique to you?"

"Are all mudbloods annoying little know-it-alls or is that just you?"

Wow. I am so sorry. I always come with excuses at the end of these, don't I? I do have good reason but won't depress you with all that here. This IS part two of the long chapter I talked about. I hope you all enjoy and hopefully, I won't be gone for so long this time. If you would like to be able to poke me directly about the next update my tumblr is moisgayerthanyou As always comments, favorites and follows are greatly appreciated.