Species Identity Disorder

A/N: Trigger warning, particularly for later chapters. I would rather not say for what, but if you are significantly affected by common triggers I would recommend not reading further.

What does a tail feel like? Weiss wondered as she gazed down idly at the two tiger Faunus children in the yard beneath her studio apartment. She was curled up on the sofa next to her open window, taking advantage of the late spring breeze and lazily contemplating the park below. Almost a month ago, just as exams had started, a family of Faunus with a young boy and girl moved into the suite beneath them. Weiss was increasingly finding herself distracted from studying, admiring the mesmerizing black-and-orange pattern that decorated her new neighbours, and wondering.

Weiss frowned. Really, the question she was pondering was not what does a tail feel like - she had eventually discovered the answer to that when she had invited Ruby's sister, Yang, and her Faunus girlfriend over for dinner. Ruby had been overjoyed that their first proper guests as roommates would be Yang and Blake, but Weiss had had ulterior motives.

"Ouch!" the Faunus boy exclaimed as the girl yanked on his tail. Weiss winced in sympathy. They were playing some game that looked like tag but specifically involved grabbing the other's tail. She expected this rule was brought in expressly to bar the derisive human children from joining in. While the blatant speciesism irked her, she had hardly the moral highground to go down there and call them out on it; her family-owned company was well known to employ Faunus labourers from developing countries in factories with nearly-unlivable conditions.

Her family would disown her if they knew what it was she thought about while gazing at these kids every day.

She winced again as the Faunus boy grabbed the girl's tail. The question she really wondered about was what does having a tail feel like? to which she didn't suppose she would ever learn the answer. Modern wisdom had brought about television, scrolls, in vitro fertilization, and standardized exams, but she doubted she would live to the day when her curiosity might finally be satisfied.

So Weiss sighed, shut the window, closed the blinds, and carefully went to the door and locked it before donning her hairband. The ears weren't real, but - she paused, examining herself in the ceiling-to-floor mirror opposite the bed - they looked good enough that she could at least pretend.

The irony was not lost on her. Her family business, the SDC, was behind almost all the top fashion lines in Vale. Schnee-brand clothes were in every major store, and almost everyone wore something the company had had a hand in making. But to support the enterprise, her father had sought to globalize the production lines to Vacuo and Menagerie, among the poorest and roughest countries in the world, where the working class was populated almost entirely by Faunus. The company, owned by humans and fueled by cheap Faunus labour, had recently been at the center of a televised scandal after incriminating videos revealing how the Faunus were beaten and terrorized regularly at work were leaked.

So it was ironic that the youngest daughter of the family that was infamous worldwide for symbolizing the endemic hatred of the Faunus species wore cat-ears when she was sure she was alone.

Weiss blinked. She'd been studying for several hours while wearing her hairband. Every now and then, she would scratch an itch behind her ears - her real ones - and then dutifully scratch her fake ones. She put a lot of willpower into this make-believe idea that all four of her ears were real, and although she would never know exactly what it would be like to have real, functional, sensate ones, she had become so expert at pretending that she could almost feel phantom sensations in them. They probably felt nothing like what a real Faunus would experience, but to her there was no way to tell the difference.

After having reviewed her entire set of notes three times over, she decided she was ready for the exam tomorrow. She glanced at the 24-hour clock in the kitchen; apparently it was a quarter to twenty-one. Her roommate wouldn't finish her exam for another fifteen minutes. She wanted to snuggle into the bed, with her hairband still on, but Ruby would certainly come and disturb her just before she could achieve the dreamstate she wanted.

She'd been trying to teach herself to lucid dream so that she could experience inhabiting the body she'd always desired. She hadn't succeeded yet, and her prospects were looking increasingly bleak, but it did at least give her something to occupy herself with when she was bored in the evening.

At five to the hour, she was surprised to hear keys at the door. She froze, and quickly pulled off her hairband.

The door creaked open. Fortunately, it was just Ruby. Weiss relaxed tentatively as her familiar roommate slowly entered in. She had grown accustomed to seeing her in the striking red-and-black hoodie she always wore, with her bright and bubbly ever-present smile, and her brilliant, sparkling silver eyes, and the aura of happiness and optimism she exuded constantly.

Which was why Weiss was concerned to see her slump against the door and drop to the floor, glaring apathetically into the air. Weiss didn't have highly-sensitive ears or eyes, but her mind filled in the details. The wrinkling of Ruby's clothes as she deflated, the soft and slow breathing in and out, the friction as her nails dragged weakly against the carpet, her hands balling up into weak fists.

"Ruby?" Weiss asked gently, still sitting on the side of the bed.

When her partner didn't respond, she hesitantly got up and walked over to sit by her.

"What's wrong? Why are you here early?"

Ruby breathed in curtly. "Left the exam early."

"You finished early?" Weiss was confused. Ruby was a stellar student; in the few classes Weiss had been lucky enough to share with her, Ruby almost always finished the exams in barely more than half the allotted time. So why did she look so miserable?

Ruby shook her head. "Nope. Didn't finish."

"You..." Weiss trailed off. She wasn't sure what to say. So she gently put her arm around her friend's shoulders. She always felt very nervous touching her partner; even though Ruby was an incredible athlete, Weiss always treated her delicately, like she was made of glass. Now, her breathing was so shallow Weiss almost couldn't feel it at all.

Ruby flicked her eyes to look at her. Then she smiled that adorable half-smile that made Weiss' heart jump every time.

"I had a headache or something," she explained. "Couldn't focus at all. None of the questions made any sense so I just left."

"I-I'm sorry," Weiss stuttered. "Are you feeling okay?" Ruby had never so much as gotten a cold in the two semesters they'd lived together so far. She put her hand on her forehead. Admittedly, she wasn't exactly sure what to check for; her head felt like a normal temperature to her, but growing up she'd had a team of servants to look out for her health needs so never learned how to care for someone or how to tell the flu from a fever.

Ruby brushed her hand away. "It's okay, kitty-cat," she said, causing Weiss to blush. "I'll be fine. That was my last exam, actually; I get two weeks off now. So don't worry, I can rest up."

Kitty-cat. Weiss cleared her throat. "Don't you think think it's weird that you call me the same pet name that your sister calls her girlfriend?"

Ruby shrugged. "Well you are both Faunus, so - no, why should it be weird?"

"I'm..." Weiss was at a loss for words. Ruby had been incredibly supportive of her since she'd revealed her secret to her in their second year. But she'd never before actually said -

"I'm not -" Weiss tried to say again. But Ruby silenced her again with an affectionate hair-ruffle. Then her fingers hesitated, not finding the familiar cat-ears.

Ruby glanced down at Weiss' hands, which were gripping the hairband so tightly that her knuckles had turned completely white. Ruby silently put her hands over Weiss' and gently pried open her fist.

"You're not my girlfriend, I know," Ruby winked. She placed the hairband over Weiss' head, so close to the place it rested naturally. Weiss adjusted it slightly.

"I - yeah, obviously." Weiss laughed weakly. Ruby looked a little more energized than when she first came in. "Why don't you go take a quick nap, and I'll make some dinner?"

Ruby's eyes creased as she smiled warmly. "That would be really great. Thank you, Weiss." Then her eyes took on a facetious glint. "Just don't make tuna," she added.

Weiss almost laughed. Both of them despised tuna, but sometimes Weiss forced it on herself since cat Faunus were well-known to be fond of it. "Sure thing, partner," she agreed.

"Partner, huh," Ruby repeated under her breath as Weiss stood up.

"Uh, I mean, 'roomie,'" Weiss corrected. Maybe "partner" was too forward. It's not like they were dating or anything. They were just friends; Ruby made it a point to remind her of that fact often.

"Nah," her roommate said. "I like it. Partners in crime."

Weiss smiled. Occasionally it did feel like the two of them were running some kind of illegal business, given Weiss' secrecy. They kept the blinds drawn and the door locked at all times, and it meant she was at her best when they were alone, secluded in the room. She felt bad, all the extra hoops Ruby had to go through to respect Weiss' desire for privacy. But it was completely necessary.

If anybody ever found out, Weiss would probably kill herself.