Rules Were Meant to Be Broken: Prologue
by Ultimate Naco Topping
Ever see one of those couples that just worked?
Like peanut butter and jelly?
Milk and cookies?
Sonny and Hare?
Okay, bad example.
Most mammals react to such couples with either warm fuzzy cooing or guttural disdain. There is rarely a middle ground. You either want them to kiss or you want to lock them in a crate and shove them over a waterfall.
Take Clawhauser, for instance:
From time to time, Nick and Judy would breeze through the front doors of the precinct together for another day of serving the public. With the smiles, the laughing, the teasing, the playful touches, he would always have to suppress a giggle of hope.
Maybe...
...just maybe...
...it happened last night...
...and they were walking in together because they'd woken up in the same place...
..that they had locked eyes...
...or brushed paws...
...or one of them said just the right thing...
...and they had finally...
...FINALLY...
...FINALLY...
...connected the dots...
...and the world was now going to be full of rainbows...
…and sunshine...
…and the wedding would be in the spring...
...and Gazelle would be there and...
...and...
...a cheetah could dream, right?
They would make it to his desk and he would do his best to draw out the truth. The portly cheetah was always disappointed. These two never connected the dots—unless there was a crime involved. Still, the spotted dispatcher could hope.
Chief Bogo, on the other hand, bristled each time the rabbit and fox's banter spilled all over his bullpen. They were his ultimate nightmare: a red and grey, fluffy, walking, talking, laughing, will-they-won't-they abomination of adorableness.
He'd rather face a stampede of elephants than spend more than a second thinking about the administrative and public relations disaster that would happen if those two ever...
However, his hooves were tied. They were damn fine officers. They had saved the city from spiraling into warring factions of fear and hate. They were the darlings of the general public and the faces of a new era of predator/prey relations. But there were days when he wished he had a crate and a waterfall handy.
Like this one. The cape buffalo was leaning so hard on his podium that it was threatening to shatter under his weight.
"I think you're jealous, Carrots," Nick said with sly smile.
"Why... would I be jealous?" Judy snapped narrowing her eyes.
"Yep, you're jealous."
"AM not. You just want an excuse not to ask her out."
"Whoa there, Fluff! Are you questioning my game?"
"Insecurity, party of one?" she sing-songed.
"I will ask her out... when the time is right," he replied locking a steely look of resolve onto his best friend and partner. She glared right back. The battle was on.
"Well," she sassed. "We're waiting..."
"YES!" Bogo bellowed. "We're all waiting."
The rabbit and fox snapped to attention as they suddenly felt a couple dozen sets of eyes fixed on them. The other officers tried to bed down their laughter but most couldn't. The chief had managed to contort his face in such a way that he was manically smiling and seething a frown at the same time.
The partners pinned their ears back and made themselves look smaller than pious church mice.
"Before we get to assignments...," Bogo began. To say he relaxed his stance would be a misuse of the word 'relax', but he had at least stopped torturing the podium with the brunt of his displeasure.
He went on about a couple community service announcements, needing volunteers for the Officer's Gala committees—or he'd start picking names randomly—then, finally, assignments. There were a lot of small time crimes to look into, but nothing the squad couldn't handle blindfolded.
"Hopps. Wilde," he said getting to them last. He didn't have many opportunities to make them sweat so he paused and let them feel the ax hover over their heads. They had been on remarkably good behavior for the last three minutes—something of a record for them—but even they knew to expect the worst. "Patrol. Dismissed."
The pair let out their collective breathes. The chief himself was surprised he hadn't said 'parking duty' even if they deserved it. Chief Bogo stayed locked on the podium as the pair scurried towards the door. He closed his eyes hoping the silence of the now nearly empty bullpen would calm him. No such luck.
"Hopps, give me back my phone," Nick pleaded.
Bogo caught them out of the corner of his eye as they approached the door. The rabbit had somehow lifted the fox's phone from him. Despite being almost half his size, she had him at arms length. The situation was well in paw as far as she was concerned.
"Hey, it's the fox cop. With the shades. Nice meeting you. I'd love to catch a drink with you sometime. Winky Face" Judy said typing furiously on the phone with her free paw.
"You send that text and there will be a Mate dot com profile of you...," the door closed cutting off the rest of Nick's threat. Silence at...
"RABBIT!" the fox's screech took even that from the chief.
Despite being the youngest Chief of Police ever appointed to the ZPD, the cape buffalo was already counting his days to retirement—if those two didn't kill him first.
A/N: They found me. I don't know how, but they found me. Run for it, Marty! 'They' being the rabbit and the fox who refused the leave a long dormant part of my brain alone. Yes, there is a lot of WildeHoppes fluff already, but I can't help myself. Some chapters will be more helpings of mindless fluff, others will move the overall story forward. Comedy will be my priority but don't be surprised when I kick up the action a few notches. This will be rated T for mild language and adult situations.