So I'm turning out a bunch of drabbles recently. No idea why. It's kind of crazy, actually. I think the common thread through all of these will be Intern Eve.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that's recognizable. Intern Eve is mine; although, Captain has custody rights on special occasions.

Dean Ambrose was frustrated. The company didn't have anything substantial for him that night; he wasn't feuding with anyone at the moment. He didn't have any promos prepared. For all intents and purposes, he was planning on just lurking backstage and maybe snagging some of the delicious cheese cake from catering.

"What's this? Lemme see," Dean demanded to Roman as he snagged a piece of paper out of the Samoan's hands. "This your promo? I should read through it, so you're not stuck talking about mashed potatoes or something."

Roman shook his head. "No, that's just my grocery list. I just remembered I needed more milk, so I was adding it on."

"Huh, I didn't realize you-"

"Ambrose! There you are!" Intern Eve shouted and grabbed Dean's arm. She began dragging him towards gorilla.

"What?" Dean said, exasperatedly. "What's your deal, lady?"

Intern Eve smirked at him. "Don't you remember you have a segment tonight?"

Dean made a face. "What are you talking about? I'm not on the show tonight."

"Well, now you are. Just keep the audience entertained, pumpkin."

"But I've got nothing!"

"That's a double negative, Dean, which means you have something. I keep trying to explain that to Styles, too… 'They don't want none'? No, AJ, they want some," Intern Eve said with a shake of her head. "Just read what you have in your hands. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Dean's music began playing, and he ambled out to the ring. Dean scowled at the audience. He wasn't even sure why he was there. He sighed before he held out the piece of paper with a dramatic flourish. "And for your entertainment tonight, I'm here to perform a dramatic reading of Roman Reigns' Grocery List."

Somewhere backstage, Roman looked up in confusion. "Wait. He's reading what?"

Dean began in the most logical place. "Numero Uno on our list is coffee beans! Got that? None of that pre-ground crap but the whole bean. Because Big Dog doesn't play around with his coffee in the morning. And let me tell you, Roman and the morning do not get along. He's like a hibernating Grizzly Bear in the morning when you wake him up, so trust me: this is important."

Backstage, Roman face palmed.

"Next is EGGS! (brought to you by Roman Reigns). You can believe that," Dean said.

The audience erupted in applause.

"Paper towels, Viva in particular. I dunno why he specified the brand there. It seems oddly specific. Oh wait, it's because he has a coupon for them! Nice Roman; way to be frugal."

A "This is awesome!" chant began to be shouted by the crowd.

"Next we have conditioner! L'oreal because Roman's worth it! He also gets the leave-in conditioner."

Several audience members appeared to be taking notes.

"And next we have…"

Intern Eve smirked at the producers. "See, I told you. Ambrose could read someone's grocery list and people would still be entertained by him. Pay up."

The producers exchanged glances and each handed over a crisp hundred dollar bill to the smirking intern.

Leave me a line or two. Thanks for reading!