La Douleur Exquise
French for "the heartbreaking pain of wanting someone you can't have"

WARNINGS: This fic is a Luke/Rey sex&love story (if this makes you feel icky, please leave now. If not, please proceed) :) Features the following tropes/kinks/dynamics: older man/younger woman. teacher/student relationship. age gap. wanting someone you can't have/shouldn't want. implied unrequited love. forbidden attraction. loss of virginity. mature/explicit sexual content. (public) masturbation.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

ENJOY! :)

New Beginnings

Ascending the Jedi steps was by no means an easy task. Not physically, but emotionally. Rey knew that by choosing to climb these stairs, she was offering herself to the Jedi way of life. Offering herself to Luke Skywalker. To learn, to train. To hone her abilities. Somewhere, in her mind, she had subconsciously given up her life on Jakku. Maz Kanata's words had been a knife in the heart, but something she most definitely needed to hear. Even if she knew the truth deep down.

Approaching the famous Luke Skywalker sent chills down her spine. The man she'd only ever heard stories about. Rumours. Myths. He was a living legend. And now she was walking up to him, about to offer him his father's lightsaber. Her body thrummed in anticipation.

He felt her. Long before he saw her, he felt her. Her vibrations in the Force. He knew she was coming for him. He'd had the feeling of dread in his stomach. He wasn't sure how her arrival would change things.

-x-

He'd fled from the others, from everything after Ben had turned to the dark side and destroyed the new army of Jedi. Luke couldn't believe he'd let history repeat itself. The blood of his own father, Anakin Skywalker, ran thick in Ben's veins. Luke was ashamed and sorry for fleeing, but he felt too responsible for all the wrong-doings which had went on. Everything would be better if he just went away, he'd believed. So he fled to Ahch-To, starting a new and solitary life for himself. A clean slate.

The loneliness and isolation he'd banished himself to for almost 20 years had been soul-destroying. But for Luke, this was his personal punishment. It was his fault things had transpired the way they had.

Not training Ben properly, he'd thought, in order to make his mind strong enough to repel Snoke. Ben was an extremely Force-sensitive being who had not been nurtured properly and who had been inadvertently neglected of guidance throughout his life. He'd struggled with his emotions and dealing with the consequences of that as well as feeling his powers, abilities and potential neglected by those who supposedly cared for him. It was all too easy for Snoke to swoop in and be the mentor Ben never had. Before Luke, Leia or Han realised what had happened, it was too late. Ben was gone, and there was no saving him.

Luke felt he'd let Han and Leia as well as everyone else down. And so he took himself away from it all.

But now, there was Rey. He'd seen her before, in his dreams. Pure beauty, surrounded by light. So much light. Flowing dark hair. Rosy cheeks and lips. She was a vision of the Light side. Maybe she was the answer to everything. Maybe she was the Chosen One. Maybe it never was Anakin. Or Luke. Or Ben. Maybe she was it. The one who would bring balance to the Force. And finally restore peace to the Galaxy.