A/N: Hello! For anyone out there who is waiting for updates on my stories, I apologise. Exams are a bitch. I am 4 down 20 to go then I have a long summer break to write all I wish to. So here is a Law and Order SVU story.
Olivia is quite out of character in this one but I wanted to present her not as the praised hero but still as the woman we know and love her to be. Therefore, we get to see Alex in a different light as well. Anywho, on with the relatively crappy story!
It was the end of another long day at 1-6 precinct home to the special victim team. The day had been gruelling but they had managed to final get the evidence needed to lock up their suspect. Everyone was headed home but Olivia remained parked behind her desk. The captain walked up to her on his way out.
"You plan to go home to Jess tonight Liv?" He always was the father figure Olivia had missed before she transferred in.
"Yeah Cap. I'll go home in a bit, just got some paperwork to push. Jess is going out tonight anyway so I don't need to worry about getting home to early." Olivia was fidgeting, a sure sign something was of with the woman.
"You sure Liv? You could go home and have dinner with Jess, we've been busy all week and an early night for you might come in handy. In fact, why don't you take tomorrow off, completely off? I promise no calls no matter how desperate and you can have a day with Jess." The captain didn't wait for a response before he walked out of the building.
"Shit" Olivia said to herself.
She used to love Jess with all her heart. After Alex had told her to find someone else before going into witness protection, she had met Jess. Jess was three years younger the Olivia but nearly 4 inches taller. She was petite and athletic at the same time. She had beautiful long flowing light hazelnut locks that framed her face perfectly. Olivia really had loved Jess. And Jess loved Olivia to begin with. They spent days off curled together under a blanket, evenings out at Broadway shows or going to dinner as fancy restaurants. Olivia had told Jess everything about her mother and even about Alex and Jess had comforted her when she was sad or had a bad day at work.
Then things changed. When Olivia got sad Jess would say something hurtful about her mother and Alex. If Olivia was ill Jess would hit her and tell her to get on with it. It started off infrequent and whenever it happened Jess would apologise with a home cooked meal, a bath and some flowers but then they stopped. The apologies stopped and the beatings worsened. She was home to late. That isn't what Jess wanted for dinner. There was no milk. There was no tea, Olivia didn't even drink tea for crying out loud.
The biggest problem though was Alex. Since her return from the programme, Alex and Olivia had been getting closer again, only as friends, and it was getting difficult to hid Jess's abuse from Alex. The prosecutor knew something was wrong but never pushed Olivia for answers.
"Liv?" A voice calling her name brought Olivia from her internal thoughts and instantly the detective was on edge.
"At my desk Jess" Olivia managed to keep her voice steady. She looked at the clock and realised it had already been 2 hours since the Captain had left her to work.
"Liv, why aren't you at home? You should be. I don't want to have to punish you Liv but I can't help but feel you are trying to avoid me." Jess's voice was hard and she practically spat the words at Olivia.
"I'm sorry Jess. I'm not avoiding you we've just had a really long hours case this week. I thought you were going out tonight so I decided to stay here and get my paperwork finished s-" Olivia was cut off by a strong slap the left side off her face. She could feel her cheek throbbing and the heat rushed towards her jaw.
"That's not an excuse Liv and you know it" Her voice seemed to grow harder although Liv wasn't sure how that could possibly be. She slapped Olivia again and the older woman fell to the floor, not even bothering to try and get up.
"Please I have the day off tomorrow I was getting the paperwork out of the way so we could be together tomorrow" Olivia whimpered.
"That's very nice of you Liv but you were supposed to be driving me to the bar tonight so because of you I've missed another drinks night. So Liv, what are you going to do to make it up to me?" Olivia was barely listening to Jess anymore. Her mind was on Alex. It was time to tell Alex what was going on with Jess and that she loved Alex no matter where she was on the planet.
When Olivia didn't answer, Jess started to kick her and hit her. Even the sound of Olivia's screams and pleas didn't cause Jess to stop. Olivia was terrified, Jess had never gone this far.
As Don left the office, his mind kept replaying the conversation he had just had with Olivia. She was like a daughter to him and he could tell something was wrong so he pulled out his phone and pressed 3 on his speed dial.
"Hello. Alex Cabot speaking?" Alex obviously hadn't looked at her caller ID.
"Alex. It's Don. I need you to come down to the precinct. Everyone's gone home but Olivia is refusing to leave. She says that Jess is going out tonight so I thought the two of you could chat and catch up for a bit?"
"Sure Don, I'll be right down there now" With that Alex hung up the phone.
Well at least now she'll have some company, Cragen thought to himself.
Alex put down the phone. She knew something wasn't right. She had one of those feelings. She gathered her case files and slid into her coat in record time. As she slid into her car, she had a strange sense of longing to be near Olivia and that was where she was going to go.
She got to the precinct and Alex felt that weird feeling something was wrong again. She knew instantly that Olivia was hurting or in trouble. It always used to happen when they were together before the Velez case. She bolted from her car and gracefully clambered up the steps. When she pushed open the door to the SUV precinct she heard screams, and not good ones.
Alex immediately clattered into the squad room, only to see Olivia on the floor with Jess above her. Jess had stopped hitting her now and was shouting things in Olivia's face. Things that made Alex cry so she could only imagine what they were doing to Olivia.
"God Liv. I bet Alex wishes she had been killed so she doesn't have to see your ugly face again. And I recon your Mum is looking down on you asking herself why she didn't have the abortion. I don't even really know why I stay with you Liv" By the end of her speech Jess had calmed to a slightly loud talking volume so Alex was able to cut in.
"I think it's because you enjoy your punching bag far too much to let her go. Don't you Jess." Alex was in prosecutor mode now and barely glanced at her friend on the floor, writhing in pain.
"Oh hey Alex. Do you wanna go for a drink? Olivia can't come coz she's busy doing paper work but we could go get our groove on." And just like that Jess was back to 'normal' again.
"Yeah you two should go out and have a good time. I'll see you soon Alex. See you later Baby" Olivia had managed to drag herself of the ground and sat awkwardly in her desk chair.
"No asked you your opinion Liv so why don't we let Alex make the decision?" Jess was getting angry again.
"Um I'm really sorry Jess but I can't tonight. Liv and I have some really important paperwork to get done but I can call Casey, she would love to go for drinks." Alex said while texting Casey.
Call 911. Send them to your office. Jess hurt Liv. Calling soon. X
Alex called Casey and elaborated on the texted message.
"Casey? It's Alex."
"You are using that tone that says I'm talking in code"
"Yep that's right"
"Okay so tell me what's wrong? Your text said Jess hurt Liv, elaborated?"
"Yeah I'm really busy with Liv and Jess wants to go for drinks. I called you"
"Okay. Tell her to drive here and that we'll go from my office. I'll call them when she texts me she's on her way up."
"Okay Casey, talk soon. Bye" Alex hung up the phone and an excited Jess asked her what was said.
"Casey said to drive over to her office and you'll make a plan from there. Text her when you are on your way up. She's buzzing to go dancing." Alex was astonished at the situation.
"Okay then. See you soon Alex. Bye Liv" And with that Jess was off like a shot.
"Oh my god Liv. Why didn't you tell me?" Alex cried as she saw the defeated look and posture from Olivia.
"I was going to after tonight. It's never gone this far. Alex I need to go to hospital." Olivia didn't want to get any authorities involved but she figure Alex had called the police somehow at some point, probably through Casey.
"Okay sweetie. Let's get you to my car. I'll drive you and stay with you. Then we can go and get your stuff from her apartment. You're staying with me for a while." Alex's tone left no room for argument yet Olivia tried anyway.
"Don't be silly Alex. It will just put you in danger of her if she gets out. I'll go stay at a motel." Olivia was not expecting the response she got.
"Livia I'm not letting this go okay? So deal with my help and get used to it because I'm not letting this go and I'll never let you go again I promise." The familiarity of her relationship nickname from Alex set her off. She couldn't stand to see Alex hurt again.
"Lexie Please you don't understand. I can't see you get hurt by her. I won't. Please, Lex you have to stay away, for your own safety, please." Alex started to cry even harder as Olivia battled sobs.
"Why won't you let me help you Livia?" Alex was desperate.
"Don't you get it Lex?" Olivia whispered and her voice was nearly lost in the sobs and whimpers of pain echoing around the room.
"No Baby, I don't get it. Help me to understand Livvy. Tell me what's wrong." Alex's voice sounded foreign even to her.
"The last time you got hurt Lexie, they took you away. They took you from me and I lost everything I had. I can't live through it again Lex I can't. Don't go please. Don't leave me."
"I'm here baby. I'm here and I'm never going to leave you again my Livia."
The two of them walked out of the station to Alex's car, Olivia practically wrapped around Alex. They drove in silence that was thick with tears and Alex thought she could smell blood.
"Liv baby, are you bleeding?" Alex was worried and Liv picked up on her panic instantly.
"Yeah. Jess probably re-opened the cut on my stomach. It was my own fault, I forgot to pick milk on the way home." A sob burst from deep inside Alex and it left Olivia very confused.
"Lexie? What did I do? I'm sorry whatever I did wrong I didn't mean it!" Liv was frantic, she traced back, looking for something that could have set Alex off.
"You didn't do anything wrong Livia. It wasn't your fault."
"What wasn't my fault? Please Alex your scaring me" Olivia was scared and Alex hated Jess more and more each second.
"It wasn't your fault that Jess hit you. How bad was the cut and how did she cut you?" Alex wasn't sure she wanted to know and wasn't entirely sure Liv would talk about it but she asked her questions anyway.
"It was my fault, I forgot therefore my fault. It wasn't too bad, I had to steal some med supplies from Warner and stitch myself up. She used the knife that I usually used to cut the vegetables for dinner. She said it was my fault and that I shouldn't tell anyone how much of a disappointment I am."
Alex started to cry again as they pulled up to the hospital. She pulled up and parked. Both women got out the car and Alex had to practically carry Olivia into the emergency room. Alex walked slowly up to the main desk to see her sister in law sat behind the computer.
"Alex?"
"Hey Becky. Is Auntie Nik working tonight?" Alex didn't really take her eyes off Liv for more than a few seconds.
"Yeah do you want me to page her for you?" Alex's sister in law could see Olivia's eyes drooping as she swayed slightly in Alex's arms.
"Yes please Bex. That would be great!"
"Lexie?" Olivia mumbled tiredly
"Yes Livia?" Alex was getting more and more worried by the second and hoped her Aunt would appear soon.
"I don't feel to good Lex."
"In what way Liv?" Olivia's comment made Alex more frantic but she took it as a good sign that Liv was still conscious and talking.
"Feel sick and tired. Hurts to breathe and I really want to sleep Lex"
"Alex?" Before Alex could reply to her love, her Aunt Nikki showed up.
"Auntie Nik. God am I glad to see you. She says she feels sick tired and it hurts to breathe. She was kicked and punched repeatedly by her girlfriend." Alex had watched her Auntie and some of her cousins work with patients so many times now that she knew all of the important non-medical info to give to the doctor.
"Okay gonna take her back to the exam room. I'm ordering her an MRI, a CT scan and an X-ray."
4 hours had gone by since Alex had brought Olivia into the emergency room and Olivia was a bit more alert and in much less pain. It broke Alex's heart but Olivia kept apologising for getting hurt, needing her help and having to go the the hospital. The pair were going through some of the events of the years Alex was in witness protection and before Olivia was abused by Jess when her Auntie walked into their cubicle with three fresh coffees form the canteen.
"Hey there girls. It's nice to see you more alert Miss Benson."
"Olivia, please" Olivia was always one for pleasantries and felt no need for surnames in a situation like this.
"Right okay Olivia my name is Dr. Jones but you can call me Nikki. Now, down to business. You've bruised all of your ribs, you have some swelling in the tissue around your stomach, we've already taken care of the cut on you abdomen, you have mild concussion and you seem to have taken a few hits to the kidney area so going to the toilet might be a little painful for a few days. You have a sprained right wrist and you've wrenched the ligaments in your left hip and shoulder. You will be free to leave once I have verification of someone to stay with, you have been given your prescription for your pain meds oh and the police are here to talk with you." Nikki left quickly as her pager buzzed and flashed again.
"Oh Liv, my baby. What did she do to you?"
"It was nothing serious Alex, I'm sorry for wasting yours and your Aunt's time with my measly sprains and bruises." Alex could tell Olivia was genuinely scared that Alex would get mad at her.
"Oh darling you have nothing to be sorry for. You hear me Livia, nothing"
"I'm sorry for not being strong any more Alex. I didn't mean to let her take that from me"
At Olivia's last words Alex just started to cry, Olivia cradled in her arms on the hospital bed. Olivia kept muttering apologise trying to get Alex to stop crying but Alex couldn't. Jess had taken her baby and broken her down, piece by piece, unravelling the brilliance of Olivia Benson until all that was left was a scared human being in the place of a once confident and cocky Detective Benson. The weren't aware of the passing time until a cough from the entrance to the cubical make Alex lift her head while Olivia kept her frame buried deep in Alex's embrace.
"Um Ma'am we are here to take Detective Benson's statement. We can begin whenever you are ready but we do need this statement within the next 30 hours if possible." A small blonde haired police officer spoke from the threshold. Alex was reminded of her sister, Bailey's wife Robyn, or even their daughter Charlie.
"Okay just a second. Liv baby the police need to talk to you. Are you ready or would you like to wait for a bit?"
"Can we do it now?" Alex was stunned again as Olivia asked her permission to give her statement. Alex really needed to know what Jess had done to Olivia so she could try and undo it.
"Okay thank you very much Detective Benson. I am going to ask some questions and I would like you to try and answer them in as much detail as possible."
"Okay" Olivia whispered.
"Would you like Miss Cabot to stay with you Detective Benson?"
"Is that okay?" Again Olivia looked to Alex for confirmation and reassurance.
"Yep. Of course I will stay Olivia" Alex spoke in what she hoped was an even tone.
"Okay. Detective Benson, Do you know a woman by the name of Jessica Abertton?"
"Yes, is or rather was my girlfriend."
"Have you ever been attacked or beaten by the woman before the alleged events of 16/7/2006?"
"Yes. Um the beatings have been getting more frequent over the last year and nine or ten months."
"Did you ever report the incidents at the time?"
"No I didn't."
"Why not Ma'am?"
"Because I thought the Alex was never coming back and that Jess was the only person that was going to love me. Also the beatings were my fault for being a disappointment. I couldn't show anyone how stupid I was because Jess said they would make fun of me."
"Okay. Has Miss Abertton ever used any weapon of any kind to harm or threaten you?"
"Yes. She threatened me with my service weapon and a knife. She has cut me with said knife on the stomach and she has whipped me repeatedly with a belt across my back and legs. That really hurt. There are small scars from the belt lashings and I will have a scar when my cut heals."
Alex heard the police officer swear slightly under her breath.
"Can you describe the event of this evening's alleged attack please?"
"I was working in the squad room, trying to get all of my paperwork finish so I could spent tomorrow with Jess. She turned up at the precinct around 2 hours after the rest of my officers left. She told me that I had caused her to miss another party night because I forgot that I was driving her that evening. She asked me how I was going to make it up to her. I didn't reply so she slapped me twice and asked me other questions but I didn't hear them. When I didn't answer again she started kicking my and punching me. She stopped and Alex started talking to Jess. Jess asked Alex if she wanted to go out for drinks but Alex said no. She then directed Jess in the direction of one of our friends Casey Novak. Jess left after Alex had spoken to Casey and then Alex drove me here."
"Right, thank you Detective Benson. I only have a few more questions for you now. Did Miss Abertton ever do anything not consensual in one of her rages or even outside of those times?"
"Only when she had been out drinking. I didn't like drunk sex with Jess, she was controlling and unpredictable. The first few times I told her to stop but then she would hit me. She was meaner drunk so I stopped telling her no. Therefore I guess that means no she never did anything without consent."
"Detective Benson, do you understand that if you didn't want it it wasn't consensual?"
"No I don't get what you mean" Olivia was confused, she'd just told the lady that she didn't say no therefore she must have wanted it.
"Liv, look at me. Just because you didn't say no doesn't mean that you wanted it. You chose either to let your girlfriend do what she wanted with your body in a sexual way or let your girlfriend hit you wherever and however she wanted. You chose the less pain and the less physically obvious. You gave in to what you believed was the lesser of two evils from the person who was supposed to love and care for you more than anyone on this planet Liv."
"Do you understand now Detective Benson?" the officer had to make sure.
"Yes. Will that go on my record?" Olivia was whispering again and it made Alex want to torcher Jess over and over.
"There is a possibility of it going on your record Detective Benson but it's not 100%. My last question for now is a serious one that you may need to consider. Would you like to press assault and rape charges again Miss Jessica Abertton?"
Olivia looked over to Alex with wide panicked eyes. Alex reached out a hand slowly and ran the back of her finger down her loves face.
"I think you should Livia. It will put your mind at ease and you might gain some closure from the experience. I'll be here every step of the way Liv but it is your decision." Alex offered quietly. Olivia turned back to the officer.
"Yes I would like to press charges please."
"For the last time I didn't do anything wrong."
"Miss Abertton we have you on film assaulting a police officer in the station. And we have eye witness statements that put you at the crime scene."
"I can't believe that bitch told the police. After the first few time I stopped with the fancy expensive apology coz I realised she wasn't going to tell anyone. I mean for crying out loud a forced her to fuck me on a regular basis and she works in sex crimes. She's a stupid little cunt who deserved everything she got from me. I told her that her Mother should have had the abortion she's a waste of space."
"Well you've said plenty to incriminate yourself. We are going to leave now a go and draw up the warrant for your arrest and indictment."
"Fuck you" Jess spat.
"Oh yeah and I don't know how well you know your now ex-girlfriend but she is one of the most highly commended officers in the recorded history of this police force. She has helped multiple branches and divisions with numerous cases. She holds 3 bravery awards. 4 commendations from the head of national security and she is a damn bloody good officer. I know she could have kicked your scrawny ass if she had wanted to but she loved you so much. She didn't tell, she never said no, she didn't fight back and all because she loved your sorry ass. So think about that. How you abused the woman for nearly 2 years who was so flat fuck in love with you that she let you beat her on a regular basis without any form of retaliation. You should be ashamed of yourself."
In that moment, the detective's words hit Jess and she realised what she had been doing all this time. She never realised what she had become until now. How had she never seen the manipulative, abusive monster she had become? She loved Olivia whole heartedly and without bounds but then she had changed things, she hurt the woman she loved so badly. She knew that Liv has still been in love with the blonde even though Alex had supposedly been dead. When she came back however, Jess had been so jealous of the time Liv had spent with the former ADA. Looking back back, Jess had known what she was doing had been wrong but something inside of her drowned out that sense of right and wrong. She hoped Olivia found her happy ever after and she even wished that it was with Alex.
Thank you for reading! Please review, helpful comments about language, grammar and plot are always appreciated.