Night had fallen over Beacon. Velvet shadows draped themselves lazily across nebulous architecture, argent moonlight spilling like oil across the scene. The comforting embrace of the warm silence lulled many to their dreams, and to an observer the school seemed truly at peace.

It was only the teaching staff who knew the truth. This illusion of tranquility may have enveloped their students, but in the Teachers Lounge five souls yet held out. Headmaster Ozpin, Professor Goodwitch, Professor Port, Doctor Oobleck and Qrow Branwen. Only their eyes remained open, not a one speaking as their veteran senses strained to their limits.

All eyes were affixed to the clock above the door, awaiting its statement of the hour. A single drop of sweat ran down the headmaster's face, as the hands quivered on the very edge of the twelfth hour...and finally clicked into position.

For a moment, nothing happened. The assembled force even dared to think that maybe, just maybe, they would pass the night uneventfully.

A foolish hope.

The ceiling above their heads suddenly disintegrated, the plaster and miscellaneous building materials rendered unto their smallest components. Dust filled the room, blinding the defenders and dulling their other senses. Immediately after, the lights went out – their Dust powering removed, they died in seconds.

Action was immediate, as the trained Huntsmen and Huntress swung into action. Ozpin crouched over their opponents' objective, a barrier of green energy exploding into existence around him. Port and Qrow stood to either side, settling into fighting stances as they prepared for anything.

Glynda manipulated the air in the room, creating a vortex which sucked away the dust that obscured their sight. At the same time, Oobleck activated his emergency lantern, the Dust within lighting up the room.

They quickly identified their adversaries. There were two of them, dressed all in black. Goggles concealed their eyes, and their only distinguishing features were their heights and gender-specific figures. One tall man, one short woman.

The two sides stared at each other in silence for a moment, before Glynda made the first move. She attempted to pin the shadowy operatives in place, but her attempts were completely ineffective. The male never stayed still enough, ricocheting around the walls. The female simply took the blows on her crossed arms, apparently shrugging off the power of the Huntress' Semblance.

"No petty thieves will ever get the best of Peter Port!" roared the moustachioed professor, attempting to grab the male in one of his signature bear hugs. Unfortunately, he misjudged the distance – instead of his adversary, he found himself clutching nothing but air.

A moment later, a short figure crashed bodily into his knees and sent him to the ground with a massive expulsion of air. One down.

Oobleck darted into the fray, his ungodly speed and reaction times allowing him to grab the male by the arm. A moment later though, his grip was disengaged when two hands wrapped themselves around his forearm and heaved. The good doctor found himself flipped bodily over his target, legs flailing through the space once occupied by the ceiling. A second later, he was driven into his floored comrade as he attempted to rise.

Two down.

Qrow shot forward, managing to intercept the female as she rolled away from the downed teachers. He struck out with his feet, aiming to disrupt her balance. He made contact...but it felt like he hit a brick wall. They didn't even flinch, and as dark eyes met equally dark goggles, the veteran gulped.

A moment later, a third body was driven into the groaning pile.

Ozpin still crouched in place, holding his barrier and gritting his teeth as his comrades fell. Only Glynda left... But he couldn't help her. His role was to ensure the objective's safety, and if his focus wavered too much the barrier would become unstable.

The veteran Huntress loosed burst after burst of raw kinetic energy at her opponents, teeth gritted as they evaded each one. I can't just let loose...replacing the ceiling will be bad enough, but if I wreck anything else we risk going over the budget!

She was limited in her capabilities...and her attackers took advantage of it. In the space between one strike and the next, the male's utterly unpredictable trajectory intersected with the position of his accomplice. Wrapping one arm around her waist, he spun in place and released with a shout.

Glynda watched the approaching cannonball with a sinking feeling, her Semblance forming a plane of oppositional force before her. She just knew it wasn't going to be enough.

Indeed it wasn't, as the woman's force exceeded the shield's ability to oppose. The two women flew backward together, and the deputy headmaster felt all the air leave her lungs as a covered head buried itself in her gut.

She fell from the wall with a lurch, slumping down onto her side and breathing heavily. Four down.

Ozpin couldn't see the approaching figures...but he could feel their eyes on him. "You...can't have it." he grunted, sparing some concentration for speech. "You will never take it from me!"

The headmaster shuddered...he got the distinct impression that the figures behind him were smiling. There was the sound of groaning and fabric shifting, and concealed amber eyes conveyed dismay. They wouldn't...

A moment later, they did. Peter Port was driven bodily into the emerald sphere, held by his legs and hefted over the shorter figure's shoulder. Ozpin shook, the impact sending ripples throughout both his defence and his composure. No, I can't fail! I mustn't fail! They're counting on me, I-!

The Port Hammer was brought down again, and the table beneath the headmaster creaked ominously as the force rushed though his shield. Oh. Maybe I should have put it on the floor.

That was his last proper thought, as the third strike with the impromptu instrument of demolition broke the table's legs, spilling Ozpin and what his comrades had fought so hard to protect onto the floor. The shield shattered as he lost his composure, and the headmaster just lay on the ground panting as the fatigue of holding it caught up with him.

"Damn...you..." he managed to say, even as he saw the taller figure kneel down and retrieve their objective. Port was returned to the pile of groaning Huntsmen, now quite obviously unconscious. The pair left via the door, simply striding out as if nothing of great importance had happened.

Behind them, Glynda was the first to break the ensuing silence. "I did tell you, didn't I? That we should have just let them have it?"

"Glynda, please, just...let us mourn for a minute here."

In the corridor outside, the retreating duo removed their masks and goggles.

"Jauney, that was so much fun! I can't believe we didn't think of doing this sooner!" Nora was even giddier than usual, her skipping carrying her in circles around her equally emotional team leader.

"I know! I have not had that much fun since the...Great Pancake Experiment! We even got the...objective!" Blue eyes turned to the unassuming cylinder currently resting in Jaune's right hand. It was metallic, marked only with a radiation warning symbol. There was no colouration, nor was there any writing.

"That's...that's really it, isn't it?" The transition from bouncy to serious was almost instantaneous, and was reflected in Nora's leader.

"Yes, Nora. Yes it is. We have...finally...succeeded in our...mission." The two kept walking, feet on autopilot as they thought through the ramifications of their actions that night.

"Ren and Pyrrha must...never know of this." Jaune said, getting a nod from his partner in crime.

"Renny's pretty serious about these things. Not that this wasn't worth it, but he wouldn't think so."

The blonde leader looked up and down the corridor, the duo having finally reached their destination. "Then we must act...quickly. Before they...realise we are gone." Pushing through the door beside him, Jaune held it for Nora while he performed another visual sweep of the passage.

Satisfied that they were alone, JN made their way through the shining space they now occupied. "They should be somewhere around here...ah!" Nora quickly discovered their second objective, being gently warmed in an oven.

It was the work of a moment to retrieve the tray from the device and set it on a nearby surface. Tools were pulled from hidden pockets, clinking as they were laid on the chrome surface. "Now, the...moment of...truth."

Jaune reached forward reverently, unscrewing the top of the cylinder. Its contents, no longer constrained by the lead-lined container, bathed its liberators in a warmth like none they had ever felt.

Hands trembling slightly, the blonde decanted the prize into two more containers. He was incredibly careful not to spill a single drop – no lesser metal would survive the touch of this miraculous substance.

Re-securing the lid, Jaune stood before the fruits of their labour. Nora was beside him, silent and motionless as she beheld what they had accomplished. "Are you...ready, Nora?"

"I was born ready, Jaune."

"Then let us...begin."

Lie Ren and Pyrrha Nikos crept along the corridors of Beacon, their footsteps muffled by the slippers they both wore. Green and magenta eyes swept back and forth, searching for any evidence of JNPR's other half.

Having been awoken by a need to visit the bathroom, JNPR's martial artist had quickly realised that Jaune and Nora were missing. Immediately waking the red-head, he had led the way out into the silent shadows to retrieve their team mates.

Each felt a mix of trepidation and fury...what had happened to their charges? Had they left of their own free will? If so, then what great calamity had befallen the school while its innocents slumbered?

There were too many questions...and now they sought answers. Raising a hand to call for a halt, Ren's keen eyes identified a sliver of light from beneath a closed door. As he checked the plaque on it, his already pale complexion seemed to glow white in the darkness.

Pyrrha's own eyes read the inscription a second after, and she did the same. No longer bothering with stealth, she ran forward and placed her shoulder to the door. With an exertion of brute strength and her Semblance, the metal hinges buckled and were carried forward with the door as Pyrrha cast it aside.

Facing them was a scene from their nightmares. "They actually did it..." the red-head whispered in horror, even as Ren slid to a halt having run in behind her.

"Yes...yes they did."

Sitting before them were Jaune and Nora, happily enjoying a pile of pancakes apiece. The empty mugs of coffee at each of their elbows were the true cause of their concern however...for the two warriors recognised the thermos which sat between their two partners.

That was Teacher's Coffee.

Stepping forward slowly and carefully, the martial artist and Mistral Champion finally came to stand just behind their respective partners. "Jaune...?" Pyrrha's voice shook, and as her leader slowly turned to face her she took a step back.

"Pyrrha, I can see it."

"See...see what, Jaune?" She was stammering now, unable to look away from the horror before her.

Blue eyes casting light onto the terrified warrior, Jaune stood up from his meal and smiled widely. "Everything."

Beside him, Nora was also standing. Her eyes shone just as brightly, and not even Ren could stand to meet that radiant gaze. "Renny, you should try some."

Green eyes and magenta met for a split second, and each pair of orbs could see the fear in the other.

"Yes, Pyrrha. Join us." As if by magic, the metal cylinder and a mug were present in Jaune's hands.

"Join us, Renny." There was a mug in Nora's hands too, and they started to walk forward in sync. Pyrrha and Ren backed up, finally reaching the kitchen wall and finding themselves trapped.

"Join us."

"Join us."

"Join us."

"Join us."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Night had fallen over Beacon. Velvet shadows draped themselves lazily across nebulous architecture, argent moonlight spilling like oil across the scene. The comforting embrace of the warm silence lulled many to their dreams, and to an observer the school seemed truly at peace.

If they ignored the fact that the entire student body were standing in the courtyard. Their eyes shone like fire, and all of them were turned to the four individuals standing atop the statue which formed the space's centre.

JNPR looked outward to their fellows, but Jaune looked past the students. Past Beacon, past the forests and the waters, to Vale.

"Tonight Beacon...tomorrow, Vale...and then the world."

Author's Note

So...yeah. This is a thing now.

Thought I'd try my hand at writing an Omake for Gloria, but I didn't want to just stick it on the end of an existing chapter...so I'm gonna put this and any follow-ups in their own story archive. I hope my attempts at writing comedy meet with some approval, and that I didn't go overboard with the length.

If you want to see more of this, please let me know – if you aren't enjoying it, then I won't take the time to write it. Simple as that.

I hope you enjoyed reading this even partially as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you have any comments or criticism, please leave a review and I'll be sure to get back to you. Enjoy your day!