Hello there, I hope you're all doing well! Thank you for reading my little story and thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting me, you guys are so amazing! After a few full-on, heavy chapters, I felt like we needed some more light-hearted, much quieter scenes. So that's my focus for the next few chapters. Some time for Tony, Ziva and Tali to spend a bit of time together before coming up with a strategy and some plans for the future. I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a fabulous day! :)

Chapter 17 – The Past…

Friday 27th May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 8am

Silence. So much so that it was deafening.

For the first time in a few days, it was quiet in the apartment. She was the only one there.

This place had been filled with a cacophony of talking, crying, laughing, shouting, all in the last couple of hours. And now, there was the sound of silence. Not a thing. Nothing. And even though she was used to being by herself, this environment was making Ziva feel tense, awkward and uncomfortable.

After their extended recap chat about the last three years, Tony and Ziva needed a bit of space to process everything and regroup. They needed some time.

So, Tony had taken Tali down to the local market place, as they needed some more food, now that there were three people living in the apartment. Especially as Tony was constantly eating something. Which left Ziva on her own. For now, anyways.

There had to be something that she could do to begin to make things right with Tony. She knew that even though she couldn't change her actions of the past, she had to try to make the effort to rectify things between them. He'd missed out on the first years of his daughter's life and he deserved to experience them.

Suddenly, she had an idea. She knew that she'd brought them with her for a reason.

So, after preparing a few things in the kitchen, she set of in search of some things in the bedroom…

Friday 27th May 2016 Rue Poncelet Market Street, Paris, France 8am

Rue Poncelet Market Street. A beautiful market place, close to the Arc de Triomphe.

The market was filled with all the hustle and bustle. People buying things, going about their everyday lives. Lots of noise and lots of chaos. People chatting, laughing. Tourists exploring the stalls, taking pictures, asking for directions.

Tali was loving this. Bored of sitting around and too engrossed in all the excitement around them, Tali was holding her father's hand and walking beside him. Or skipping beside him more like. Unlike Tony, she was busy exploring everything around her and loving every second of this adventure.

It was gorgeous. Vibrant. Exciting.

A typical day for most people.

It was all a blur to Tony. It just sounded like a bunch of noise. But muffled, unclear. Like when you're swimming underwater.

Tony just couldn't seem to take his mind off his talk with Ziva. His mind was still ticking. Thinking things through. Going over all the information that they'd talked about. Not knowing exactly how to process it all. Although they had just crammed three years' worth of information and memories into the space of a few hours… it was bound to be a little bit overwhelming, right?

His head was spinning and pounding. He needed coffee. Wasn't taking a walk supposed to help to clear your head, not make you more confused?

In the midst of his mind chaos, Tony almost bumped into a post and ended up tripping over his own feet, jarring him back to reality. Somehow, he managed to stay on his feet, but he had to blink a couple of times to regain his focus. Tony stood there, in the middle of the busy, bustling market for a few seconds, startled by his near fall.

A little but loud giggle broke through and set his world straight again. He looked down at the young girl standing next to him, who was still holding his hand in her own. The little girl with a huge grin on her face, desperately trying in vain not to burst out laughing at her father's expense. Every time he looked at her, Tali reminded him more and more of her mother. They had that same cheeky smile and the same beautiful laugh.

He couldn't wait to be a family now and watch his daughter grow up.

And in that moment, Tony realised that this was exactly what he needed.

"Oh, you think this is funny, huh?" Tony remarked mischievously, his emerald eyes twinkling bright. Then, in one stealthy, ninja move, Tony lifted Tali up into his arms and began to tickle her. The joyous sound of Tali's laughter filled the air as she squirmed desperately trying to get away. Tony couldn't help but join in with the giggling, especially when Tali tried to retaliate and tickle him back.

When they were both tired out, Tony lifted Tali up onto his shoulders, giving her a great view of the market around them. Both were a little out of breath, but you couldn't wipe the smiles off their faces. And Tali was happy with her new vantage point, allowing her to easily see what was for sale on the market stalls.

"So, Tali. What do you think we should buy?" Tony smiled up at her.

Friday 27th May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 10am

As Tony and Tali walked back into the apartment, the first thing that hit them was the smell. Those amazing smells. The smells of a freshly cooked breakfast. And coffee. Ugh. His stomach rumbled. Apparently, Tali approved of the delicious food smells too, as she sniffed the air and smiled widely, giving a small jump.

Hearing the front door close, Ziva exited the kitchen and saw the two of them standing there, both with the same sparkle in their eyes.

"Shalom, Ima!" Tali skipped her way over and hugged her mother's leg to greet her. Tony stood back and watched smiling at them. He loved watching the interactions between the two of them.

Ziva looked down at Tali and bent down to return her hug warmly, before glancing up at the man across the room gazing at them. "Shalom, motek." She replied. It was clear to whom this was directed at: towards both Tony and Tali.

They caught each other's eyes from across the room; gave each other a small smile.

They were going to be alright.

Friday 27th May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 10:30am

"It was a few nights after we had solved the murder and child abduction case. Where the young girl Rosie was kidnapped, and her friends father was killed in front of his daughter, Lydia." Ziva began.

After eating breakfast and making quick work of the washing and drying up, Tony and Ziva found themselves making two cups of coffee before situating themselves on the couch in the front room. After yawning through breakfast, Tali was currently taking an early nap.

Tony gave her a questioning look. He remembered the case, but why was she bringing up this old case from years ago? "After we had solved that case, Abby and I went out for drinks that night after work. I was not really feeling in the party mood, but Abby insisted that we go and celebrate." Ziva continued.

Where was she going with this? Why was she talking about a night out with Abby? What happened that night that Ziva wanted to share… oh. That's when it hit him. "Ziva, you don't have too –" Tony began. She didn't have to explain that to him if she didn't want to.

"Yes, I do." Ziva assured. Besides, no one was making her do this, she wanted to. She just had to force herself to go through with this, because there would be no going back afterwards.

"We had both had a couple of drinks, not enough to be drunk however, and we took a cab back to her apartment as it was the closest. When we got there, we ended up sitting on the couch, talking. She knew that I was hiding something about the case."

Saturday 1st December 2012 Abby's apartment 12:30am

"You're real quiet, Ziva. You should be happy, we solved the case, Rosie's back safe with her family!" Abby tried to enthuse. After solving a case and rescuing a child, she couldn't understand why Ziva seemed so sad. Something was up with her friend and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"I know. I know that we solved the case and I am really happy that Rosie is safe… but I cannot help but think that Lydia has still lost her father in all of this. She has lost someone very important and special in her life. That young girl now has to grow up without her father. And she shouldn't have to." Ziva spilled out, looking down at her hands. This case had struck a bit of a chord with her, something she just couldn't shake for some reason.

Abby listened quietly. She knew what Ziva was talking about. And she had a feeling why her friend was feeling this way. Ziva had grown up without a mother from her teenage years and then to lose both her sister and her brother just a few years later… She'd had to grow up, fast.

"Yeah… I know, Ziva. It's horrible. Beyond horrible. And she doesn't deserve that." Abby agreed solemnly, not really sure what else to say, how else to answer that.

"She had to watch her best friend get kidnapped and know that she almost got sold to the highest bidder. She had to watch her father get killed right in front of her eyes. She found herself alone and staying with strangers, while her mother was far away from her out at sea, when all she wanted was to be with her family and friends. No one deserves that." Ziva commented in a monotone voice, staring straight in front of her.

Now Abby was seriously worried. Ziva sounded so unlike herself, so defeated. She had to show her that things weren't as glum as she potentially thought. "But, Lydia still has her mother. And Rosie's parents have their daughter back. It's not all bad. She's not alone in the world. She still has someone."

Ziva finally cast her eyes over to meet Abby's. That's when Abby noticed that Ziva's eyes were welling up, filled with tears, but also a haunted look that made Abby shiver internally. "I don't think I can take anymore."

Abby was shocked. Never in all the years she had known Ziva had she seen her cry before. Ziva carried a lot and never spoke about any of it. Not about her family, Somalia, Cobb… the list went on. Abby wondered just how close to her breaking point Ziva really was. She guessed she was pretty close if she didn't think she could cope with this anymore. And she felt somewhat guilty and selfish for not wanting to ask Ziva if she was thinking about quitting NCIS. She didn't want to know the answer to that question.

So instead, Abby took hold of Ziva's hand. "After Dearing bombed NCIS, I couldn't sleep for weeks. I kept having the same nightmare over and over again. Dearing had shown me that I felt alone. I live on my own, my parents are gone, my aunt sadly can't remember me and that leaves my little brother, Luca. It made me realise that I needed to go and talk to my brother, Kyle. Tell him that I'm his sister and build up that sibling bond between us. It really helped me Ziva, and it really helped to talk to Gibbs about all of this. Talking about things makes you feel so much better."

Ziva tucked her knees up under her chin, hugging her knees and wrapping her arms around them. She had never been very good at talking about her feelings, but maybe it was time for her to start to learn how to do so. Maybe Abby was right. "I have been starting to feel alone, also. My mother, sister and brother are all gone. That only leaves my father and my aunt Nettie. The relationship with my father is… complicated at best, and both he and my aunt live in Israel, the other side of the world to America."

Abby stood and came to sit on the coffee table in front of Ziva, wanting to make sure she had her full attention. "Hey, you're not alone either, Ziva. I know you've been through way more than anyone ever should in your life, yet alone a lifetime, and I know you've lost a lot of your family, but we're your family too. Me, Tim, Gibbs, Ducky, Tony, even Jimmy! We've got your back. You can always come to any of us, you can always talk to any of us, Ziva. We're always here for you."

Ziva couldn't help the tears that started to trickle down her face. Abby's words carried a lot of meaning and they really meant a lot to her. She knew that they were always there for her, and she for them, but it was a beautiful thing to hear this spoken aloud. It was just that she found it all too hard to reach out and ask for help. She was supposed to be independent, strong, solid. And yet all she could feel was herself crumbling apart. How had she let herself fall this far? Ziva so badly wanted to give in and be comforted by her team, her family, but part of her wouldn't allow this to happen.

Abby's voice broke through her chaotic thoughts. "Plus, Tim has told me all about the whole 'post-elevator' thing you've got going on with Tony. Wanna share what that's all about?" Abby fished with a slight mischievous smile on her face.

That got a little smile out of Ziva. Were her and Tony really the topic of office gossip? "It is nothing, really. We have simply decided to be more open with one another, to tell each other things that mean things. Important things."

Abby grinned madly. "I'm so glad you're talking to Tony. I'm glad you've got someone in your life that you can open up to. It's good you have him. You need someone too. Someone to talk to, someone to share yourself with."

Ziva lightly scoffed. "I don't have him, Abby."

"Uh huh!" Abby teased.

"Abby…" Ziva whined.

"You like spending time with him." Abby stated. A comment, not a question.

"Of course, he is my friend." Ziva confirmed straight-faced. What did that have to do with anything?

"Yeah, right! You guys are way more than that!" Abby cried animatedly.

Now it was clear to Ziva where Abby was going with this. "Abby we are just friends, nothing more." Although she wasn't sure just who she was trying to convince.

"Yeah but you want to be more than that, right? You guys are so close, you clearly like spending time together. You spent last night together!" Abby reminded her.

"We are best friends. And nothing happened last night. He came out to dinner with me and an old family friend of mine from Israel. They both spent the night at my place and we spent the evening talking, eating and drinking. Nothing more." Ziva explained. Really nothing had happened beyond that.

Abby had to make Ziva see what she could see, had to make her admit it. "Ziva… you planned to spend the evening with your friend who had flown all the way from Israel, someone who you hadn't seen in years. You could have easily spent the evening just the two of you, but you decided to invite Tony to join you. You let Tony into a special part of your life, you wanted to share that with him."

Ziva blushed. Abby was right, she had wanted to introduce Tony to Shmeil. She wasn't exactly sure why, she just knew that she had wanted Tony to meet someone who was part of her Israeli family. She had wanted Shmeil to meet the man who was an important part of her American family. It just felt right.

"I know you were all Mossad ninja warrior, but you don't have to hide your feelings." Abby commented.

"I am not." Ziva defended. She wasn't hiding anything.

"Well you're trying to hide the fact that you're in love with Tony." Abby blurted out.

…

What.

…

Did Abby just say…?

No… she'd definitely misheard that. There was no way that Abby could suspect that, was there?

Abby took Ziva's stunned silence and opened-mouth expression as confirmation of her previous statement. "You totally do!" She squealed, leaping up from her seat. She couldn't believe this had worked, she was finally getting Ziva to admit her true feelings!

"I do not know what you are talking about." Ziva tried desperately. She could still try to salvage this and bury this under the carpet. Abby didn't have to know about this. No one had to know.

"Yes you do, stop trying to deny it, it's so obvious!" Abby exclaimed, still slightly bouncing around the room from excitement.

Ziva wanted to bury her head in her hands. Oh no. If Abby thought it was obvious, how many other people had noticed? Ducky was very perceptive. So was Gibbs. Oh no… what if Tony had noticed?! Did he know her true feelings about him? Ziva felt so embarrassed, she cold feel her face burning.

"Hey, it's not a bad thing. It's great that you love him. You guys would be so great together. If only both of you would actually admit it out loud. Ooh this is so great! Ooh, we need a plan! Yes… You could invite him round here to your place… or you could go to his place and surprise him! Oh I can't wait, you guys can finally tell each other, this is so exciting!"

Telling Tony… dating… This was going somewhere very fast. Ziva felt like she was on a speeding train. She needed to get off.

"We cannot…" Ziva commented sadly.

That certainly pulled the brakes on Abby's excitement. "Why not?"

What if Tony didn't feel the same way about her? But Ziva couldn't bring herself to voice that fear aloud. That would be her worst nightmare.

"Gibbs would never allow us to date and be on the same team." Ziva reminded Abby, settling on this instead. Gibbs' rules were not to be broken, especially the infamous Rule 12.

Now they were getting somewhere. "Since when do you two follow the rules. You've always had your own rulebook?" Abby tried to reason.

"What if we let it affect us at work? We could not risk the lives our team if we got into an argument or if we were not completely focused. Besides, you saw what happened between Gibbs and Tony when he was dating EJ. I would not want that to happen again. I know that Tony looks at Gibbs like a father and I will not come between them." Ziva rattled off just some of the reasons why she could not be with Tony. It would not end well for the team.

"But you look at Gibbs like a father too. And it's different from the whole mess with EJ. She wasn't right for him. Don't you think Gibbs would want you guys to be happy?" Abby argued.

Ziva wasn't sure how to answer that directly. So, she settled on diverting slightly. "I could never disappoint Gibbs like that."

"You guys being together would never disappoint Gibbs." Abby shook her head as she tried to assure her. However, she could see that was wasn't going to get anywhere with that. "So, you're willing to prevent yourself from being truly happy?" She couldn't understand that.

Ziva nodded her head slightly. "If it protects the team. I have hurt you all enough and I won't allow you to be hurt or to be put at risk simply because I have finally told Tony that I love him."

…

And those three words, those three very powerful words changed everything in an instant.

…

Ziva gasped audibly, shocked at her own words, her eyes wide. Oh God. Had she really just said that? Had she actually just revealed her biggest secret?

"I love him." She repeated in her shocked state. Her hands flew over her mouth, begging her not to say that aloud again.

Yep, she'd said it. Twice now. She was really digging herself a hole tonight. And right now, she just wanted to crawl right inside that hole and hide. But there was no denying it now. No going back.

Abby had frozen in place. She couldn't believe that not only had Ziva admitted that she had feelings for Tony, but she had actually admitted that she loved him! Oh… my… God…! Oh my God! This was unbelievable. Yes! Her excitement was threatening to bubble over and she couldn't contain her elation any longer –

"YES! I KNEW IT! OH MY GOD THAT'S AMAZING!" Abby screamed, jumping up and down. She pulled Ziva up off the couch and hugged her so tightly, before continuing to jump around.

That pulled Ziva out of her own little bubble. This was not good. How had they got to this point? She had to put a stop to this. "Abby you cannot tell anyone! Please! Especially Tony." Ziva pleaded with her.

Abby stopped jumping but kept the wide smile on her face. "Why not?! This is so great Ziva, you – ."

"He cannot know."

Abby blinked. "Why not?" What was so wrong with Tony knowing? Then he could admit his feelings for her and then they could be together. Simple, right?

"He just… cannot." Ziva repeated, emphasising her point. It would change everything between them and she valued their close friendship way too much to risk it, in fear of losing Tony because someone got hurt or things didn't work out between them romantically. She knew she wouldn't be able to cope with that.

"Life's too short to not tell someone you love them. What are you waiting for?" Abby queried.

That had stumped her. Ziva had no clue how to answer that. Because she knew deep down that Abby was right. 'He came halfway around the world for me. He means the world to me. Should I risk it? Take a leap of faith and finally tell him?'

Friday 27th May 2016 Parisian Apartment, France 11:00am

The quietness echoed around the room again.

Tony was in a stunned silence. Ziva was trying hard not to look at Tony, just waiting anxiously, awkwardly to hear his reaction. It was strange for that conversation to be out in the open.

"I wanted to tell you soon after that. I just had to find the bravery to do it. I kept trying to put it off and find the right time to talk, but it never seemed to be the right moment. My father died, we caught a lot of cases, chasing Bodnar… it just seemed like something else always came up."

"I got close to telling you once. When we were travelling home from our trip to Berlin. In the car."

So that's what she was going to talk about before they got into that car crash.

"After the car crash, with you getting hurt right in front of me, with me… I realised that I had to tell you. But then we had Bodnar to catch, then Parsons was there and he was tearing apart our team… I knew that I had missed my chance. And I knew that you would not want to be anywhere near me, yet alone be involved with me after hearing about what had happened with me and Adam."

Tony hated to admit that she was partially right about her last statement. While he could still be around her at the time, it had changed things between them and it had upset and disappointed him slightly that she had felt that she had to do that… that she couldn't call him from Israel and talk to him instead? Or talk to him in person when she got back. He really didn't want to be reminded about that again.

"So, I did not want to try again for a while after all of that. Now I can only regret that I waited so long." She continued wistfully.

"Well, we're both guilty of that." Tony admitted. "There were so many times that I could have told you how I felt about you and I didn't. But, life's too short to live with regrets and I'm glad that we finally found the time… or times… to tell each other. And I don't regret the truth being out in the open now."

Tony took hold of Ziva's hands, looking directly into he hazelnut eyes. "I'm tired of living with regrets, Ziva." He hoped she would get his message.

"So am I." Ziva replied meaningfully, gave his hands a gentle squeeze. She was truly fed up of living with regrets and she hoped that her next actions would be a first step in changing this.

"I want to show you something." Ziva suddenly spoke up. She kept hold of Tony's right hand and lead him into their bedroom.

"Please, sit." Ziva requested, indicating towards the bed. Tony did as she'd asked, casting her a strange, inquisitive look. What was going on?

Ziva took a deep breath before she reached underneath the bed and pulled out three large books. She took a seat next to him, placed the books next to her down on the bed and picked up a remote control from the bedside table. Without the need for anymore words, and seeing that she had Tony's full undivided attention, she then turned on the TV.

And on the screen appeared something that Tony wasn't expecting.

A video clip of Tali.

It was a clip of her as a very tiny baby. It appeared to have been filmed possibly a few days after she was born. From the voices in the background, he could tell that Nettie was the one who was filming, while Tali lay in Ziva's arms. This amazing little baby looked like she was trying so hard not to fall asleep, with her little eyes fluttering shut and then flying open again a few moments later.

It was a quiet, simple little scene he was watching, but to him, this was everything.

Tony was floored.

After the first clip had finished, another appeared on the screen. And then another. Videos of Tali all in chronological order were playing right in front of his eyes. It was one thing to hear stories about his daughter's young childhood, but it was another to see it for himself.

As the videos were playing, Ziva placed the books in front of him.

Tony had a feeling that he knew what was inside them now. When the video clip that was currently playing came to an end, he paused the DVD for the moment and he couldn't help but let his breath get taken away as he opened the first book. They were photo books of Tali. Two of the books were full to the brim and fully completed, with one more book partly so. Ready to be filled with photos of the three of them together.

"Nettie and I documented everything that we could." Ziva spoke softly. "She insisted that we photograph and film everything. Orli put the videos together on DVDs for us."

And Ziva wasn't kidding about that. There were so many video clips and photos. Photos of Tali crawling, rolling, being fed, covered in food, trying to walk, being hugged by her mother, by Nettie… everything that Ziva had talked about and more was in that book. Plus, there were lots of little information facts were scattered around some of the pages: how old Tali was at the time, how tall, her first experiences… but also funny little anecdotes, like when she'd managed to crawl into a basket of laundry and fall asleep underneath a pile of clothes (which included a photo of this on the page too)!

This was so special to have and to see. These were beautiful treasures and keepsakes.

"She looks so much like you did at that age." Tony quietly remarked, reminiscing back to a time just after they and McGee had quit NCIS that fateful summer, when the two of them had exchanged their own family albums and baby pictures. Ziva had wanted to see more pictures of young Tony, especially since she came to possess his boarding school picture! Ziva David had been a very cute kid with a bright smile and curly brown hair, and Tali was just the same.

"That's exactly what Nettie said, too." Ziva told him, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "She also said that Tali has a lot of your traits too. Your eyes, your energy, your soul. She's more than right that you two are so much alike."

Tony leaned over the books slightly and took hold of her hands in his own. "Thank you." he whispered meaningfully with silent tears running down his face, splashing down onto the pages below him. He wanted her to see how much this meant to him. Both her words and her actions. He was so grateful that she had taken and kept so many videos and photos. He was also very grateful that she had brought them here with her, and that she was showing them to him now. Tony knew that she was trying hard to make amends and repair things between them. This was certainly a very good step in the right direction.

The afternoon was spent in a much more upbeat way, by having fun together. Starting off with the pair teaching Tali how to make pancakes. Which resulted in most of the mixture covering them. And the floor. And the walls… Oh well!

The ensuing kitchen flour fight resulted in a chasing game around the apartment (which now looked a little bit like it had snowed indoors!). But with the three of them laughing uncontrollably and collapsing onto the couch, no one was complaining. Pancake faces created, photographed and devoured, it was time for the adults to take a shower and Tali a bath to get clean of flour. Plus, this presented an ideal opportunity for Ziva to teach Tony how to braid their daughter's hair, something he was looking to improving at and do a lot more in the future.

Later, after they had eaten some dinner, with Tali tucked up in bed, Tony and Ziva worked effortlessly together around the kitchen to get through the washing up and cleaning up the kitchen. Ziva saw this as another chance to finish their conversation about the past.

She picked up the spray and some paper towels before walking back to the kitchen counter. "After Tali had been born and had grown up a little, I wanted to continue what I had originally planned to do when I had first decided to stay in Israel. I had meant what I told you at the airport. I wanted to make you all proud of me. I wanted to repent some of my sins. And so, I wanted to reconnect with a few people that I had not seen or spoken to in a while."

"I first met up with Malachi and Liat. Orli contacted them for me." She informed him, spraying down the surfaces.

Tony turned around momentarily from where he was doing the washing up the sink to face her. "Hey, long time no hear, how are Bonnie and Clyde?" Tony inquired with a smile.

Ziva chuckled. That was a very appropriate association for those two. "They are doing very well. The last time I had seen them was at my father's funeral, but we did not really speak much. We met up at a coffee shop in town. It was just nice to spend a few hours talking with them. It turns out that they had stayed with Mossad for a little while after working with us in DC. Then they finally decided to go on a date. They are now married and they freelance."

"Wow!" Tony exclaimed. 'Woah, good for them!' he thought. Tony had known that Malachi had a bit of a thing for Liat, but he hadn't seen this turning into a serious relationship and marriage! "I hadn't seen that coming, but that's really good news!"

"Yes, I am glad that they are happy." And that they hadn't waited too long before telling each other how they felt. "By the way, Malachi asked after 'Agent Meatball'!" Ziva teased playfully, wiping down the counter-top.

"Haha!" Tony laughed. Thank you to Eli David for awarding him that nickname! "Of course he did!" He probably relished in the chance to call him that! "Well, be sure to tell Maleficent that I say hello and ask if black-on-black is still in style?" He joked back, remembering how Abby had referred to Mossad. Well, it made Ziva laugh.

"That raises a good point, though. Did you stay in contact with them after that?" He asked as he picked up a tea towel and started to wipe a plate. He was hoping that she would confirm this.

"Yes, a little. We exchanged phone numbers and we did text each other a few times." Ziva answered as she moved to pick up the broom from the other side of the room. It had been good to get back into contact, form a better relationship with Liat and start to repair her relationship with Malachi.

"I'm glad." Tony smiled at her. He was happy that she had been speaking to some other people and not completely isolating herself.

Ziva smiled back, but then debated whether to reveal the next person or not. "I then met up with Adam." She blurted out, grimacing at the thought of his reaction.

Tony put the plate down and looked straight at her. That surprised him. Tony really had to bite his tongue in order to supress a groan. Everyone knew exactly how Tony felt about Adam. Hell, even Adam himself knew that Tony did not like him. Why on Earth would Ziva meet up with him of all people?

Ziva met his eyes. "That one was not planned. I was not going to meet up with him. However, he just so happened to see me about a week later in the market place. He had heard that I had been spotted meeting Malachi and Liat and he wanted to check in on me." She explained.

"What did he want?" Tony asked suspiciously, putting away the cutlery into the draw. He didn't like the sound of this. It sounded a bit odd that Adam was waiting around to try and bump into her.

"Nothing really. He just asked how I was, what I was doing and that was it really. It was a pretty quick conversation." Ziva replied, sweeping the broom around the floor. She too had found it a bit strange that Adam had managed to find her, but she wasn't going to tell Tony that. That would only make him more suspicious of Adam.

"I also tried to contact someone else." Ziva continued. However, she knew that this would be the hardest one to talk about.

There was a pause after her words, making Tony look at her expectedly.

"Deena."

"Deena Bashan?!" Tony asked astonished, his eyebrows raised. Are you kidding me?! Now that he really hadn't seen coming. He knew that Deena and Ziva had been friends once a long time ago, but he couldn't stand her after what she had said to Ziva; how she had made her feel; what that had resulted in. Why on Earth would Ziva ever try to contact her? Nothing good was ever going to come of that. Nothing.

Ziva recognised his look. And she could understand why he was giving her that look. He was looking at her like she was absolutely crazy. Maybe she was. "I wanted to try to repair things between us. I wanted to try and explain. Why I did what I had done all those years ago. And apologise for hurting her. I had no idea that she was in love with my brother."

"But I never got through to her. For some reason, I could not reach her. I tried calling her. Orli got some contacts to try to track her. She even went to her last known address. But while all of her things were there, there was no sign of Deena." Ziva continued, putting the broom away and gathering the dustpan and brush.

Tony frowned. That was a bit strange. "Maybe she just went away on holiday for a while? Maybe she was visiting family?"

"Maybe… it was just…" Ziva started quietly, quickly sweeping up the dust and putting it in the bin.

"What?" Tony asked.

Ziva sighed. "Her phone was disconnected. And she had quit her job at the hospital."

Tony wasn't liking the sound of this, putting the tea towel back in its place. "Perhaps she needed a fresh start." He suggested. However, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself about that as well as Ziva. Deep down, he had a sneaking suspicion that this wasn't the case.

"Maybe…" Ziva whispered, returning the dustpan and brush to the shelf. Maybe she did need a fresh start. It was entirely possible. After all, Ziva had done just that herself. But she couldn't shake this feeling, like there was something more. Something that she was missing. Something that was going on here…

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, it seriously means so much to me, I can't put it into words! :)

It took me a while to figure out the conversation between Ziva and Abby, where Ziva reveals that she loves Tony. Ziva doesn't strike me as the type of person to just blurt that out, it just made sense to me that she would try to hide this at first. It turned out to be a much longer conversation than I had originally planned and anticipated!

Also, the inspiration behind the anecdote about Tali crawling and sleeping in a basket of washing came from my younger sister, this is exactly what she did when she was little!

I hope you all have an amazing day, thank you for your continued support and I will hopefully update again soon!