"He was hanging around the neighborhood for a couple of months already by that time," William said. "Never speaking to anyone. You couldn't even see him most of the time and even when you did… it felt like something wasn't quite right about him."

"A perception filter, probably," Spencer explained. "It makes you want to dismiss what you're seeing."

"But there were times when I noticed him," William went on. "Staring at me… or at you. When he finally approached me I was worried. I didn't know what he wanted and with everything that had happened with Riley…"

"How was he never considered a suspect?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know," William admitted. "It was weird. Like… like you forgot about him when he wasn't there. Everyone forgot about him when he wasn't there."

"Except you."

"I think he wanted us to remember," William said. "He told us about you. It was hard to believe at first. I mean," he laughed humorlessly, "I always knew you were special, but an alien? Hundreds of years old and stuck in the body of a child? It was a bit farfetched."

"He still shouldn't have contacted you," Spencer said. "The laws of the Time Lords are clear on this matter –"

"Observe only, never interfere," William said. "Yeah, he explained that. He also said that it was a great enough risk coming to Earth, even without adding the other rules he was breaking."

"So why did he approach you?" Spencer asked. "Unless…" William cast a quick glance towards Diana, and it was all the explanation Spencer needed. "Unless mom wasn't the one who saw Gary Michaels approach me at the park."

"Kagmar said that he could feel Michaels' intentions," William said. "Something about a telepathic field that your kind have. He said that the only reason you couldn't was because you blocked yours out of defense. He said that was the reason you couldn't feel him there, too. He showed your mother a vision, of what would happen if you kept playing chess with him."

Spencer's eyes turned to look at Diana. "And then you told Lou Jenkins."

"I…" Diana said. "I don't…"

"It was hard for her to comprehend what was happening," William said. "Kagmar later apologized for it, but… it was hard for her to tell real from fake on a regular day. So with someone messing with her memories…"

"Yes," Spencer said, disdain clear in his voice. "Kagmar had a knack for mental manipulation, but he never bothered to learn how to be gentle with it. It wasn't necessary on Gallifrey, we all have natural mental shields."

"Your mom went to Lou before either of us could stop her, and didn't tell us about it later. When she came back home with blood over her clothes, I knew this had something to do with Kagmar… and I knew he knew it."

"So he showed up the next morning?"

"I didn't know at first," William clarified. "I only found out after he had talked to Diana."

"He told her she did the right thing," Spencer whispered.

"And I think, in his own way, he truly believed that," William sighed. "After, he told us to take care of you. He said he had been here for too long already and that he had to go. Said he won't be able to come again, because of some war…"

"The Time War," Spencer said. "The reason I ran away. The reason I… I became a baby." He swallowed hard before looking up at William. "Is that why you left? Because of… because of Kagmar?"

"No," William said. "I left for completely different reasons. But he… it was clear to see he was your dad just as much as I was."

"He wasn't my dad, he was my father," Spencer corrected. "All posh and respectful to the House and the Council. Never what I needed him to be."

"No," William shook his head. "He was everything you needed him to be. Just not what you might have wanted. And he… he loved you, very much."

And, as much as he wanted to, Spencer couldn't make himself believe it wasn't true.

"I killed Saxon."

Rossi barely looked up at the sound of Spencer's words. Instead, he placed down the book he was reading and leaned back in his seat.

Though they didn't have the team's jet, due to the case not being an official BAU investigation, Rossi insisted on paying the three of them for business flight tickets, thus sparing them from the crowded main part of the plane. Morgan was currently sound asleep in the row before them, but neither Spencer nor Rossi felt like they could sleep any time soon.

"Did you hear me?" Spencer asked. "I said I… I killed him."

"I know," Rossi replied. "I read the UNIT report."

"The report lies." At that, Rossi turned to look at him. "UNIT posted a false report to protect me, under the claim that I was of unstable mind at the time."

"Did they have any reason to believe you were of unstable mind?" Rossi questioned.

"I…" Spencer hesitated. "I was dehydrated, starved, had gone through prolonged severe physical abuse and… and was forcefully injected with Dilaudid for several months before the event."

Dilaudid. Now, that was a work Rossi recognized, and knew what it meant in regards to Spencer. Even if he wasn't on the team back during the Hankel case, word gets around fast in Quantico, even years after the fact.

"It seems to me like you were of unstable mind," he said. "It's a classic recipe for a crime of opportunity like that. A prisoner killing his captor."

"It wasn't a crime of opportunity," Spencer insisted. "Using the gun was opportunity, of course, but I planned to kill him anyway. The gun was just the first weapon I got my hands on. If I had a knife, I would have gone with that."

"It's still not murder."

"Unless I planned it in advance," Spencer said. "Saxon was… it's hard to explain, but he was hard to kill. Regular methods wouldn't have done it. There was… preparation needed to be done for him to really die. And I did it. For months, without anyone knowing. Willfulness, deliberation and premeditation. Textbook first degree murder."

By this point, Rossi had his full attention on his coworker.

"There were extenuating circumstances," he said. "Like you mentioned, you were tortured, drugged, and malnourished. You were still only killing your tormentor."

"Stop justifying what I did."

"I can't," Rossi said simply. "Not when it's justified."

"I knowingly let innocent people die and go through terrible things."

"Saxon was a mastermind," Rossi told him. "He had to have been. He was a complete lunatic and yet he won the elections by a landslide. There was nothing you could have done."

"I could have stopped him sooner," Spencer said.

"At what cost?"

"You." The word left Spencer's mouth as nothing more than a whisper, but it had more effect than if he was yelling at the top of his lungs. "You would have been the cost. The team, my mom… you were the ones he threatened."

"You didn't have any choice," Rossi whispered back.

"Didn't I?"

"No." Rossi sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "Why are you so desperate to vilify yourself? Does that… does it has anything to do with Kagmar?"

Kagmar. Lundi. What would they think if they saw what he had become? What would they think of Spencer Reid and who he had come to be?

"I don't know who I am anymore."

"You're Spencer," Morgan's voice cut through the silence of the plane. "You're still who you are."

"Dr. Spencer Reid," Rossi said. "You have three PhD's, and two BA's. You are a member of this team."

"You're a member of this family, kid," Morgan added. "And we know you have done a lot to protect us, but we need you to let us help you, too."

"Nothing you'll tell us will make us think any less of you, Spencer," Rossi told him. "You just need to let us in."

"I don't…" Spencer's throat tightened. "I don't deserve your help."

"Maybe not," Morgan said with a heavy sigh. "And maybe you do. But you got it anyway, so you might as well start getting used to it."