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War

Obi-Wan had once been asked by a young Togruta girl what war actually was. What fighting was and why people would harm others willingly. Back then he had answered that fighting was a way of beings to show strength and to get their opinion across or even to reach their goal. He had said that war was such a fight, where two or more parties would clash together, both sides fighting for what they believed in.

Back then, Obi-Wan had been still pretty young himself. He had been a knight, with an exhausting Padawan trailing behind him and learning everything the older male would teach him. He had been naive too back then. Too naive and too blind to see war for what it really was. But today he knew better.

He was a Master now, not that it made any great difference. He still learned, he still let himself be guided by the Force and he still was blind to a certain point. But at least he had seen and understood the ugly truth of what they were doing, of what was really going on.

The war, or to be more precisely, the clone war, was in fact the clashing of two groups, but it was also more complicated than that. Machinations, manipulation, illusion, greed and the lust for power were also part and every time again, when he stood among his fallen comrades and looking at the ruins of a place that had once been a home, Obi-Wan was reminded that it ran deeper than he could ever image.

Hate, jealousy, power, pride and love were more often than not enough reason to grasp for a weapon and to start the play in five acts. Exposition, when reasons are presented. Rising action, when every attempt to negotiate and to try to find a solving for the problem was in vain. Climax, when war finally erupts and when the first people and innocents become the victims. Falling action, when one side had won or both sides were out of will or resources to keep on going. And finally the catastrophe, when people finally saw what they had done and when they realised how much damage they had caused, how much pain had been dealt and what tragedy had occurred. But at this point, it is already too late for regrets. Redemption is more often than not the only thing people crave after a war.

Of course there were those who preached about a new beginning, a new era, but then again, were they not seeking a kind of redemption as well? And who was there to give it?

That was a question Obi-Wan had asked himself often, but never had he found an answer. Some would say that redemption was gifted by a higher power, like the Force. Others would preach that redemption was earned by good doings. Obi-Wan was not sure about either theory and the Force, no matter how long he had meditated on the matter, had given him no answer to that. Maybe he was just not meant to find out and to know. Maybe nobody was and never would be.

But there was one thing Obi-Wan knew. The Force had told him on countless occasions and in retrospect he knew that Qui-Gon had tried to teach him that as well. Peace, the equivalent to war, could only be found by those who are truly searching for it and the search should not start with the wrongdoings of others, but with oneself. Peace in a community could only happen when every member was in peace with himself and that was a feet, no one could achieve, for nobody is perfect. Perfection in this area meant to be in peace with oneself and with your environment, but this does not lie in the nature of any being, at least not anymore.

Of course there are those who would argue about the innocence and nearly perfection of children, but even children carry the roots of imperfection in them. Otherwise it would not appear and grow when they got older. They would not turn out to be seekers of a path, they should not even know about.

The sound of approaching footsteps brought Obi-Wan out of his musing and his focus returned to the smoking remains of a once beautiful village.

"Master," the hesitant voice of Anakin Skywalker sounded a few feet behind him.

The older male did not bother to turn around, when he acknowledged his former apprentice with a hum.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Anakin came to a halt to Obi-Wan's right side, just as Ahsoka and another pair of footsteps were also approaching. Obi-Wan guessed that it was Commander Cody, ever since the latest incident on Geonosis, the clone had kept a watchful eye on him.

"I am sure of nothing anymore," Obi-Wan said honestly but with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

The four companions continued to stay there, in the middle of a battlefield in uncomfortable silence. The only noise came from the clones who were cleaning up the remains and signs of battle.

Eventually the ginger haired man turned to look at the young Togruta, "Ahsoka, do you remember what you asked me all these years ago?" Three pairs of curious eyes shifted to the Jedi Master, whose gaze had turned unfocused. "You had been quite young back then, barely reaching to my waist," he chuckled fondly at the memory, "I think you had escaped the crèche and avoided midday nap."

The Padawan's eyes became wide with precognition, "Yes! That was the first time I ever met a real Jedi Master, who was working on the field. I had been so scared of you, but you had been nothing but kind and understanding." The young woman blushed once she realised what she was babbling about.

Anakin looked highly amused and Obi-Wan flattered. "Do you remember what you had asked me?" He repeated the question.

"I asked you about the war and why people always fought with each other… but why do you ask?"

"That interests me as well," Anakin added.

"Because I would like to change what I told you back then." The Jedi Master hesitated and his three companions remained silent and waited patiently for the man to find the right choice of words.

"Back then I told you that it was the way of beings to show strength and compassion. It was the way people used to defend what they love and believe in... that may still be the case today, but this war the Jedi and the clones are fighting, is a product of corrupt men and women, who value power and money over the life of the innocent. Maybe I have been too ignorant and naive back then to realise it, or maybe I just did not want it to be true. But recently I came to the conclusion that some people just want to see the world burn and its people suffer from it. Some people are just not meant to find peace, both in them and around them. Some people follow a path which only leads them further and further away from the Force and the beauty of its creation."

A heavy silence remained once the ginger haired Jedi Master had finished his speech and the two other Jedi exchanged glances. The clone Commander remained impassive, his face revealing nothing of his raging thoughts.

Eventually the young Skywalker broke the silence, "All the more reason to keep on fighting so that those who suffer will be free again."

The older Jedi grimaced, "There will always be suffering as there will always be pain, war and emotions. It is a part of the Force and therefore a part of life itself. Denying and destroying it would mean the destruction of life as we now it and as the Force meant it."

The younger male looked startled and shocked, but Obi-Wan returned his gaze calmly.

"Master, what you say… it would go against the Jedi Code!" Ahsoka exclaimed scandalised.

"Yes and no… Jedi are beings like everybody else," Cody snorted at that, but Obi-Wan chose to ignore him, "we are not without fail even when some of us tent to forget this."

"Are you saying the Code and everything you and the Order taught me, is wrong?" Anakin asked bewildered.

"To a certain degree..." he took a deep breath, "The Code we teach these days, is not as it once was written. I researched on the topic and found the original Jedi Code and found its content more fitting and better suited."

"Why was it changed?" the young Togruta inquired, not quite sure what she should think about this nee revelation.

Obi-Wan shrugged, "Maybe a new translation or maybe the Council decided to alter it, so it would be easier for young learners to understand."

"Will you tell us?" Anakin asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Obi-Wan nodded, "Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force." He paused to let the words sink in. "The new Code tells us to get rid of all our emotions, it tells us to give up ourselves in order to serve and trust the Force. The Code and therefore the Jedi search perfection they cannot possible obtain. The old Code deals differently with this illusion, in fact it strives to gain wisdom and reality."

"But Master, isn't it dangerous to allow emotions?" the young Togruta asked.

"Isn't it more dangerous to hide the emotions away and to live in an illusion?"

"I don't understand."

Obi-Wan gave her a friendly and patient look, "The Code dictates us to feel nothing, to let emotions pass through us into the Force, without affecting us. But you are only a person and therefore you feel; sadness when a comrade dies; happiness and pride when you achieved a goal or even anger at those who treat others like dirt." The man's eyes became distant, "Once you realise that you are feeling you try to release them and if that does not work you are starting to feel shame and embarrassment and it only grows the more you realise that you are not able to follow the Code and the way of the Jedi you have been taught."

"You sound as if you lived right through it," the brown haired man stated.

The ginger haired Jedi smiled sadly and almost ruefully, "I have… and I came closer to loosing myself than I ever wanted and than every being should."

The three companions looked shocked and it seemed like they were all struggling for words. Eventually it was Anakin who found his tongue first, "But you are one of the brightest presence in the Force I know… there is no darkness in you."

"I am flattered you think so," he hesitated, "but without Qui-Gon I would have fallen, especially since Xanatos, a fallen Jedi himself, tried to get his hands on me."

Anakin swallowed, "How old were you?"

The older male tilted his head in thought, "That was a few weeks before I turned thirteen and on Bandomeer, where I was supposed to join the AgriCorps. Thankfully Qui-Gon had been on his way there too and after he helped me overcome my… short-sightedness and after we more or less defeated Xanatos, he took me as his Padawan."

"You never told me this…" Anakin whispered.

"I never felt comfortable doing so… I still don't in fact, but I trust you enough to not reveal this and I think you, all of you, deserve to know this."

"Two more questions, Master." The young Togruta hesitated, "Did you have this argument before and what would you suggest?"

Obi-Wan hummed in thought, "I did indeed, Master Yoda shared my view at least to a certain point." The two other Jedi gaped, but the clone Commander did not quite got the significance of this revelation. Obi-Wan started stroking his beard like he did when he considered something carefully, "I suggest you, both of you, to follow your own path. I found the old Code more to my liking and more suited, especially if you consider our current situation… I cannot speak myself free of being an emotionless man, not when I look upon the remains of something that had once been a home and a shelter for others, not when so many have to give their lives and even more lose people who were precious to them."

The Jedi Master took a deep breath and his eyes shone suspiciously. But he just shook his head and with a last glance over the battlefield, he nodded towards his fellow Jedi and patted the Commander's shoulder, he turned around and walked back to undoubtedly report to the Council.

"Master?" the young Padawan inquired once the clone had put his helmet back on and obediently followed his General, engaging him in another conversation or just asking about his well-being, Anakin wasn't sure about it.

"That's why my former Master is the best Jedi in the Order…" he smiled after the man he called mentor, brother and sometimes even father. "Leave it to Obi-Wan to follow the Code without following it," he shook his head.

"So you also think that the old Code is better?"

"You know me, Snips. I was never one to hide my emotions away. That and I am not really a friend with most of the Council's ideas and decisions." The Togruta nodded. "But that should not interfere with your opinion, Snips. As Obi-Wan said, in the end you have to follow your own path, I can just guide and protect you on your way."

With that the older male turned his back on the destruction as well and left his young charge behind to think and meditate over what she just learned.