"You did WHAT?"

Lexa cringed, maybe she shouldn't have told Anya what she got up to last night, "I know.."

"Obviously you don't, you did WHAT?"

Lexa couldn't stop the guilty look taking over her face, she knew she shouldn't have listened to Clarke, but jok, there was no way she could've stopped. "I know Anya!"

The disappointing shake of Anya's head did nothing to stop the guilt washing over her, "Lexa.."

She sighed, understanding what Anya was saying. She used the gift, the burden, for her own pleasure. There wasn't anything gained by doing what she did, it didn't help the council, the 12 clans, or her. She could almost feel the previous Commander's turning in their grave, regretting their decision to ascend Lexa.

"I just don't understand?" Anya signed, "well, at least you know the attraction is mutual."

"I am not attracted to her!" Lexa demanded.

Anya laughed at Lexa's exasperation, "I don't even think you believed that lie, Heda."

"ANYA!" Lexa shouted before she was cut off by a knock at the door, "enter" she called out, grateful for the interruption.

"Commander..?" A timid voice called out.

"Clarke?" Lexa whispered, she wasn't expecting this.

"I'll give you some room, Heda." With a final sigh, Anya left the two alone.

Clarke walked further in the room, making sure the door closed behind her. "We need to talk about last night."

Lexa cringed, did she know? No, there's no way she knows, she wouldn't be happy to see me if she knew. Would she?

"We do," Lexa gestured to the normal seating area, "please, sit." She had a feeling she didn't want to be standing up for this.

Clarke didn't wait long before sitting down opposite the Commander, she was nervous and Lexa didn't know what to make of it, "so.." she started.

"So.." Lexa repeated.

Clarke shook her head before finally speaking, breaking the awkward silence, "I'm sorry for last night."

"What? Why?" Lexa asked, surely she had to be the one apologising?

"For kissing you, I don't know why I did it. I shouldn't have thrown myself at you. I'm sorry."

Whatever Lexa was expecting, it wasn't this. Clarke was so sure last night, she knew what she wanted, she took what she wanted, and now she was taking it all back? Lexa didn't want to acknowledge the hole left in her stomach at the blondes admission.

"I just hope this does nothing to jeopardise our chances at an alliance." She continued.

Lexa shook her head, unsure on what to say to the Skaikru leader, "Clarke.." she started but paused, what could she say? I'm sorry for kissing you back? I'm sorry for leaving? I'm sorry for getting off listening to you? Jok.

Lexa sighed into her hands, brushing fallen stray hairs behind her ears as she went, what was it about the blonde that left her so defenceless?

I wish I could take it back.

She lifted her head up and looked at Clarke, she looked just as defeated as Lexa did, clearly affected like Lexa was.

"I don't want your apologies." Lexa whispered at Clarke, quickly looking away before she could gage her reaction, "what happened last night, as grand as it was, it can't happen again."

"It can't?" Clarke asked before stopping herself, "no, your right, it can't happen again."

I can't get attached, I can't do this, not if everything goes to plan.

There was so much Lexa wanted to say, so much she wanted to ask the blonde, so much she needed to know, but she couldn't just come out and ask. Oh hey, by the way, what the jok are you thinking about? Why are you being so cryptic? Why can't you think simpler things so its easier for me to understand your thoughts? Oh and if you could, if its not too much bother, can you touch yourself thinking about me again? Because that was simply fantastic, thank you.

No, Lexa couldn't let Clarke find out about her burden, it would change everything, she'd loose her trust, and that wasn't something Lexa wanted to loose.

"Was there anything else you needed to talk about, Clarke?" That question was harmless enough.

Just tell her, tell her how you feel, tell her everything.

"I.. I don't think so.. I'll leave you alone now." She stood up and walked quickly to the door, refusing to look Lexa's way as she went, "I'm sorry for disturbing you." She opened the door and left without another word.

Every fibre in Lexa's body was calling out to follow her, to grab her, pull her back and never let go but she couldn't. She couldn't be that selfish, she couldn't just do whatever she wanted, she was The Commander, she didn't have the luxury of following feelings. Head over heart. Clans over Commander.

She had to let her go, she had to move on, to forget all about her.

Lexa..

She rolled her eyes, apparently that was going to be impossible with the blonde still a floor below, currently thinking about her.

Throwing on her Cape, she left her chamber for a walk.

Was it impossible to have a cushion made for this throne? Would it seriously make her look that much weaker? How can she be expected to sit through candle mark after candle mark of such tedious, irrelevant, petty arguments while still having the ability to feel anything other than pins and needles in her behind?

It wouldn't be that hard to secretly commission one been made for her, but Titus would never allow it. The Commander can't be seen as anything other than the ultimate strength, the most powerful being. The Commander doesn't need padding for her bottom.

Lexa stealthily shuffled around, making it look like she was simply changing position whilst still looking enthralled by the days meeting rather than getting into another position so she could gain some feeling back, but from the disapproving look Titus was sporting, she hadn't been as sneaky as she wanted.

She ignored him, looking back at the two Ambassadors currently arguing over the fluctuation of prices for crops in the winter. Lexa barely suppressed an eye roll knowing that the prices hadn't changed since before she was ascended, but she knew the Ice Nation were struggling after the downfall of the Queen. They were pulling out all excuses and eventualities, trying to find their way back into being a respected clan, not feared or judged anymore. Lexa almost felt sorry for them.

"I think that's enough for today," Titus spoke loudly, calling an ending to the meeting.

Lexa almost hugged him she was that grateful.

"Commander, may I have a word in private?" Titus asked once all the Ambassadors left the room.

She nodded her head at him, granting him permission to stay behind.

"I wish to enquire about Clarke kom Skaikru, Heda."

She nodded her head once again, this time granting him permission to carry on.

"How much do we trust her? No one is entirely certain as to why she's still here, she hasn't proven her worth yet, there is no alliance and the wounded warriors are still calling for justice. It won't be long until they call for your leadership to be looked at if this continues."

Lexa jumped up from her thone. "My leadership will not be looked upon if my seconds, if my generals, if my Flemkeeper, do their jobs." She snared, "you are to advise me, not question my decisions, you would be wise to remember that."

"Of course, Heda, I apologise."

She walked out of the meeting room angry, she knew where Titus was coming from, she understood everything, and she couldn't be called out again like this.

She entered the room without knocking. It was her room, her tower, her city, she needed no one's permission.

Although thinking about it, there was nothing wrong with some manners.

She just wished she remembered that when she walked the unsuspecting room to find a certain blonde engaged in an activity which she shouldn't be privy to, again.

"I'm so sorry!" Lexa called out before running back out the door. She fell back against in in despair, running her hands through her hair she didn't attempt to stop thinking about the blonde, like that, again.

She couldn't stop the groan that left her lips, she really was a treat for the eyes, and every other part of Lexa's body.

The door behind her suddenly opened, resulting in Lexa's ungracefully falling flat on her back. Scrambling to her feet, she flushed in embarrassment, "Clarke!"

"Commander! I'm so sorry!" Clarke held her hands out, helping Lexa steady herself, "are you okay?"

Lexa cleared her throat before answering, "yes.. I'm fine, I.. Thank you." Lexa scoured the door, mentally counting how many fires she could make from the betraying wood before remembering where she was. Her eyes returned to the blonde and she gasped, her oceanic eyes were darker, lust filled and wanton, her cheeks were flushed and she was ever so slightly out of breath. Lexa couldn't stop her eyes from travelling lower, to a haphazardly thrown on shirt, trousers with a mechanism that was unlocked, and a hand behind held out to the side awkwardly. She blushed and looked away when she saw her fingers, wet and shiny, glint in the candlelight.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your.." Lexa stopped to briefly look around the room, she was glad at what she saw, "alone time."

"I'm sorry you caught me like that." Clarke embarrassingly replied, "what can I do for you?"

Oh right, the reason she came here.

"Yes! I.." Jok. Lexa couldn't remember. "I.." Well if Lexa wasn't embarrassed before, she certainly was now.

"Lexa?" Clarke probed, a small smile slowly creeping up on her face as she was realising Lexa's problem.

"Just.. I came for.." JOK. Think of something. ANYTHING.

Lexa looked around the room, hoping something would stand out, trigger any sort of excuse as to why she disturbed Clarke but nothing helped. Only thinking of one solution, Lexa brushed past the blonde as she walked out the door, "I'm sorry, I must leave." Goufa.

"Anya.." Lexa warned her second, her laughing was beginning to grate on her.

"I can't.." Anya gasped between laughs, "you seriously fell over?"

"Yes." Lexa grumbled once more, she had already answered these questions.

"And then ran out?" Anya asked again.

"Yes." Lexa rolled her eyes, frustrated at her friend. Why did she like her again? She was The Commander, she could find friends if she wanted. She didn't need her second did she?

The again, if she was in Anya's position, she can't imagine she would do anything differently.

"Anya!" She called out but it was no use, the second was lost in her laughs, picturing a flustered Commander running away from a little blonde girl.

Where was the epitome of power?

Gone when Clarke was around apparently.

A knock at her chamber room door was gladly welcomed, "enter" she called out.

"Heda" the brute of a guard spoke, "there is a small gathering of Skaikru outside the gates, they say they're here for the girl."

She nodded her head and let the guard leave, his words sobering up her second he did.

"Pass me my cape, gather everyone, meet me in the war room."

Anya nodded her head, handing her Heda the items she needed to harbour fear.

Lexa didn't wait long before Titus entered the war room alone, she knew that Titus, Indra and Anya would have questioned the Skaikru before they were allowed to step foot in Polis.

"Well?" She asked, straight to the point.

"They're here to speak to the blonde, they say that's all their intentions are."

She nodded her head, "grant one permission, everyone else is to stay outside the walls until I am satisfied that they are not a threat, I'll go and inform Clarke."

Titus left to follow his leaders orders, she followed him out of the room wordlessly, there was no way she could forget the reason she was visiting the blonde this time, surely not.

She found herself in front of the blonde's door, only knocking this time, there was no way she was making the same mistake this time, surely not.

Clarke opened the door and smiled, "Lexa, you knocked."

Lexa laughed, gingerly stroking the back of her neck, "may I come in?"

"Of course."

Walking past the blonde, she made her way to the centre of the room, the most neutral place, away from any walls, chairs, beds, tables, balconies, oh that would be good. She was getting off track before she had even started talking, shaking her thoughts out of her head she turned to face the blonde.

"Your people are here, Clarke, they say they've come to talk to you."

The colour drained from the blondes face, "who?"

"I do not know any names, is this a problem?"

They will ruin everything, they can't be here, they can't see me. I can't do this.

Lexa reached out, wrapping her hand around the blondes she didn't like how scared Clarke was sounding, "Clarke?" She asked, hoping now would be the time she would open up to her.

The blonde shook her head, stopping Lexa from speaking again. She squeezed the hand holding hers, it comforted her, grounded her, held her safe when she knew she wouldn't be for long, but she couldn't tell Lexa this, not if they wanted an alliance.

Lexa couldn't take her eyes off the blonde, they shone with unfallen tears, her lips wobbled with unspoken words, her shoulders shook with the weight of the world dragging her down, "talk to me, Clarke, just talk to me, beja."

"I can't." She brokenly replied.

"Beja." Lexa begged.

The blonde shook her head again, silencing Lexa. Her eyes rested upon the brunettes, both of them pleading each other. One asking for words, the other begging for none. They needed each other like a purpose. Polar opposites, repelling one way yet pulling another way, destined to be tied together somehow, but unwilling to admit it to themselves.

The pull became too much for Lexa, and she couldn't stop herself from leaning in, needing to be closer to her magnet. Clarke met her in the middle, lips mirroring their joined hands, fitting together like two parts separated at birth. Tongues twisting, breaths mixing, pain shared and burdens lifted. It was everything to them.

"Clarke?" They were interrupted by a bellowing voice belonging to a boy in dire need of a haircut, "is this the reason you left? Is this the reason you won't come home? For some piece of ass? Who is she?"

Lexa growled, stepping in front of the blonde as she prepared to unleash her wrath. Who was this jokka who dared interrupt them? Who dared insult her, The Commander?

"Lexa wait.." Clarke pleaded, grabbing onto Lexa.

The boy continued, "she's got you whipped as well? Seriously Clarke, what are you doing here? With her?"

Lexa pushed forward, leaving Clarke behind she drew her sword. Stalking him gently, she raised her sword, ready for a deathly blow. "Tell me your name" she calmly demanded.

"LEXA DON'T!" Clarke's cries went unanswered.

"Tell me your name, I will not ask a third time." She stopped in front of him, her sword held at the base of his throat. He may have been taller than her, but her power clearly ranked his.

"Why?" He dared to ask.

She pressed her sword harder against him, warning him "so I know who's death to report for disrespecting me."

"LEXA PLEASE!" Clarke's cries continued to go unanswered.

The nameless boy cried out in shock, "what? Who are you?" Panic spread across his face, "Clarke!" He tried, "Lexa?"

She growled at his insolence, "you dare speak my name? You come in here, boy, without knocking. You interrupt us, boy, without apologising. You insult me, boy, Your Commander, and yet expect me to show mercy?"

"C-C-Commander?" The boy stuttered.

She released his neck from her sword edge, "guards!" she called out, "sis em op."