AFTER THE FIREWORKS

Finally everybody was gone. The priest had been dismissed, after a thousand apologies and a few thousand yen in donations. The fiancés had left after Ranma had made it perfectly clear to them that he never intended to marry any of them, that he despised what they had done and that he hoped he wouldn't see any of them for a very long time, or else.

Cologne had showed up to pick Shampoo, and seeing the disaster in the Tendo household, she had angrily spoke to her great-granddaughter in Chinese and, after apologising to the Tendos and to the Saotomes for Shampoo's behaviour, she had dragged the purple-haired girl away. Shampoo was so depressed by Ranma's hateful expression anyway that she hadn't really cared what was done to her. Mousse had followed them, his shoulders slump.

Happosai had run of on another of his panty raids, not feeling in the least guilty about what had happened. He had lost his sense of guild about half a century before. Yet he had a self-preservation instinct and knew fully well it was better not to come around the Tendos or the Saotomes for quite some time.

Ryoga had got lost, again. Before that, though, he had still tried to pick a fight with Ranma, who merely ignored him and dodged his moves, telling him that he was in no mood to fool around and to get (literally and metaphorically) lost.

The Kunos had been taken care of by Nabiki, who had called the mental hospital and had them hospitalized urgently. Nobody really cared much about what would happen to them. At least for the time being.

Ukyo had lingered for a long time, hoping to get Ranma to talk to her, hoping at first to cheer with him because the wedding hadn't gone through, and then, realising just how angry he was at everybody, even at her, she had hoped to get a chance at explaining why she had done what she had. When she reached for him, he stared at her coldly and told her: "Just go, Ukyo." He had called her by her full name, something he never did. She had got scared. She had run away with tears streaming down her cheeks, somehow knowing her supposed engagement was over forever.

The older Tendo sister started cleaning up the mess in the dojo, Ranma trying to help her. Nabiki had disappeared somewhere as usual and Soun Tendo was crying his eyes out over a board of shogi with a panda in front of him holding a sign saying: 'You're flooding the game.'

Ranma didn't want to look at them. Nor he wanted to talk to anybody. He thought helping Kasumi with the cleaning would have kept his mind occupied. He didn't want to think about Akane – his almost-wife – right now. She, too, had disappeared somewhere in the house. He supposed she was in her room, changing out of her charred, torn wedding dress. Their wedding. Ruined. He just couldn't believe it.

How did he feel? He didn't have the nerve to answer that particular question. He would just keep himself busy for as long as he could. Then…

After several hours of work, the mess had been cleaned away, only a few holes in the dojo and some charred grass in the garden left to speak of what had occurred in the morning. And his tuxedo, of course. He hadn't changed yet because he didn't want to come across Akane just yet.

But he had no more work to do there. Kasumi thanked him, and left to prepare dinner. Even her calming manner had been slightly altered that day. Her smiles looked forced to Ranma, and it just made him feel worse.

Knowing he couldn't delay it any longer, her walked inside the house.

On his way to his room, he faltered in front of Akane's door. No sound was coming out. No crying, no breaking things, no nothing. Just how mad was she to be that quiet, he wandered, feeling so terribly guilty. He had to do something. He had to apologise to her, even though it wasn't really his fault… or maybe it was, in a way… all those jerks had come because of him… Kasumi had said, while they had been cleaning, in that soft voice that usually soothed him, that the wedding day was the most important day in a girl's life. It was as if she had stabbed him. He had ruined Akane's most important day.

Still he didn't feel ready to talk to her yet. So he just sighed and proceeded to his room, picked some clothes and went to the bathroom to wash away the day's remains.

Soon after he emerged from the bathroom, Kasumi called in for dinner. He was in his room and restlessly listened for any sounds coming from Akane's room. Bu her door didn't open, so he went down and set at his usual spot. Her seat remained vacant. Nobody really asked about where she was or why she wasn't coming down. Nobody had much appetite either. Even Genma had the grace to eat his food slowly, albeit he did finish all of it. Ranma just played with his chopsticks and barely tasted his meal.

Kasumi looked at him with concern, but didn't say a word.

After dinner, when everybody else but Ranma and Kasumi had left, he offered to help her with the dishes. She accepted his help for the second time in the day, smiling vaguely. When the kitchen was spotless again, she said: "Ranma, could you please take some dinner up to Akane?"

He looked at her with surprise.

"I…" he stammered, "…don't really think… she wants to see me … right now …"

"I know she probably is mad, but you two need to talk and that will give you the right excuse, ne?" she smiled gently. Those two really needed to settle things up as soon as possible, she taught.

As always, Ranma couldn't deny anything to Kasumi, so he took the tray she prepared and headed for Akane's room.

He knocked and heard her reply.

"Come in, Kasumi."

She was in for a surprise, he thought.

"Uhmmm, it's actually me", he said, opening the door. She darted her head towards him and then quickly looked away, without saying a single word. She wasn't wearing her wedding dress any more, she had put on her yellow pijamas and was lying on her bed. And she looked like she had been crying. A lot.

"I…" Ranma tried to say, "I brought you some dinner, Kasumi sent me up."

She didn't turn. "Thank you, just leave it there," and she pointed to her desk.

"Ok."

He placed the try on the desk and glanced at her. She was staring at the wall.

"Uhmmm… Listen, Akane…" he started.

She didn't move.

"About the wedding…"

Akane turned around. There was no anger in her eyes, not any more. Just a hazy sadness that hurt Ranma even more.

"Yeah?" Akane asked quietly.

"I… uhmmm…" He couldn't find the words. He wished he had prepared a nice speech or something , but he knew he wouldn't have remembered a single word anyway. But he had to do this. The pain in her eyes was way too much to bear.

"I'm sorry. I… I'm sorry I couldn't go through with it, I'm sorry I let all those jerks ruin your beautiful dress. I'm sorry I made you angry and sad. I'm sorry Happosai drank the Nanniicuhan because now I can't…" The words spilled slowly out of him, every one of them costing him a great effort. Finally he simply couldn't go on any more.

Akane listened speechless. She was tired and still angry, deep inside. She wanted to ignore him but couldn't. She hadn't seen him with such an expression ever before. So sad, his shoulders so slump, his head low, his eyes full of sorrow. And his voice so devoid of the usual arrogance and smirk. It got to her. For the first time, she really listened, heard every single word, understood every single hesitation and every single undertone. He had said she was beautiful, in his awkward way – the only way he knew – and he had said he couldn't get through with the marriage. Why?

"Why?" she said finally. He looked puzzled.

"Why what?"

"Why couldn't you get through with it?" Her eyes were fixed on his.

He tried to speak but staggered. Trying to summon his voice again, he began hesitantly.

"You know… I hate our parents pushing us – heck, you hate that too! And all the girls trying to hurt you – to kill you – and Kuno and Ryoga trying to kill me. And Happosai stealing the only chance I had to become a real man again…"

"You are a real man, Ranma," she argued quietly.

"No, I'm not. All it takes is some cold water, and I'm not a man any more…" he laughed bitterly, "… and I hate it. And I could never, never make you stay with me forever as a half-woman. I'd rather give my life than see you hurt…"

He was half yelling, half whispering. He felt tears creeping to his eyes and he hated himself for it. Yet one more proof he wasn't a man among men. Men don't cry.

He turned his back toward the girl he loved more than life itself. Fists clenched, he stood there trying to regain his control. All those years of training and he couldn't… He wasn't able to control his fears… his anger… his tears…

She stoop up from her bed, walked to him and hid her face in his black silk Chinese shirt. She held him tightly.

He was dumbfounded. He tensed up and remained unmoving in her embrace.

Moments passed.

He felt something wet on his back.

She was crying. He tried to turn but she just held him more tightly. He took her hands in his, enjoyed the feeling for a moment despite all his worries, then pulled them gently so he could turn to face her.

She buried her face in his chest, avoiding eye contact, and held him again. He felt his cheeks burn and his hands tremble as he clumsily held her back.

"Akane, don't cry, please. I'm… I'm sorry…"

She shook her head.

"No, no, Ranma!"

She raised her head, finally, her eyes filled with tears, her cheeks glowing with emotion, and he felt a pain in his chest seeing her hurting so much, because of him.

"All I can do is hurt you. I… maybe I should just leave…" he said, defeatedly.

"No!" she cried in panic. "No, Ranma, you're the only one who makes me feel safe no matter what. You don't hurt me, at least not intentionally, I know that…"

"But I made you cry… again…" he protested meekly.

"It's… Never mind that. You said you're sorry for what happened but I'm the one who should be apologising. I mean, I know you love me, you said so at Jusendo, and even if you deny it, I know you do. I know you're lousy at expressing your feelings, your father taught you all to well to keep them inside at all times. And even though I know that, I insisted anyway, just because I wanted you to admit it. Just because I was so jealous of Shampoo and Ukyo and all of them… I kept pushing you just like our parents… But…"

She looked in his eyes again, with a slight flush to her cheeks.

"But I never told you how I feel. I never did what I wanted you so desperately to do. I was very unfair, childish and mean to you. And I'm sorry."

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Here it is, another story I found lying around. Hope you enjoyed it. I'll try to post the new chapter soon – a week or so. Please review, so I know what you think – talking to yourself alone in your room won't help you nor me. If you have something to say, I'll listen (ahem… read).

Sorry for the grammar/syntax mistakes – again, I'm not English…

So, go ahead, let me know what you think!