Hi guys and sorry for updating so late...I started writing this in may 2016, now it's may 2020 and Imagine that I thought I updated like 3 months ago but it's 9 months lol.

This is one of my fics I'm most proud of: I love everything I wrote, not gonna lie on this, cause I write what I want to read and I know how much thought I put into every detail. VOP is maybe the AU where I wrote the most detailed universe, with (minor) OCs and Izumi too, not being flashed in canon, is basically an OC here. Not to mention not killing off Shisui and giving him a well rounded personality like the one I gave him was risky, as it shatters his fans' vision of a flawless martyr AND it 'gives' him to another character instead of Itachi (another martyr I destroyed lol). That's maybe why this fic is not popular, even though here and there I see even popular fanartists mention Shisasu...but categorically not mentioning my fic. LOL whatever. I know that before I wrote this there were no Shisasu fics ever. Now there are little and there are little fanarts sooo I take pride in having sailed the ship xD

I really hope that you'll like this chapter, where finally ends the long couple of days, so full of outer and inner events, for Sasuke, Shisui, and ofc indirectly also Itachi and Izumi. Or rather, where the expanded narration of the last 2 days gets its conclusion, and with it the whole story.

This ends a fic that I imagined watching that bad non-massacre AU filler episodes, an AU I 'saw' more and more vividly, 'becoming' my sort of 'solution' to how the massacre could have avoided, but mostly becoming an independent universe full of life where the characters moved on their own, until their relationships evolved much more than I even expected. A universe that in my head even produced a couple of dark (er) 'what if' AUs lol, once of which I briefly mentioned as an edit on tumblr ("those who remain" on avenger-hawk).

As I said, this ends a fic, meaning that it ends the path of the characters towards each other. Anyway I might or might not add an epilogue.

I explained this already but since my updates took so long someone might have forgotten, so: Danna, like every Deidara fan knows, can mean husband but also master, or patron, in case of a geisha. "Shishou" means master, it can be similar to sensei especially in a martial arts context. Taichou is team leader. Do the math for Sasuke and Shisui's case lol

As always, more notes at the end of the chapter.

"...And if by accident I would have lost you in to the chaos
I would have felt a strong sense of incompleteness" (Jovanotti, Tutto L'Amore Che Ho)

They don't have programs for today, as well as the next days.

It's a dead period of the year; in a few weeks things will change and the team will be busy again. A festival will be held in the Grass Country, and like every year there's a terrorist alert from the neighbouring Rain Country.

Shisui's team is assigned to protect them, like the Hyuuga Special Jounin team had done the previous year and like the Nara team had done the year before. No one understands their clients' choices but there are already bets for who will be hired for the next -for now Aburame beats Inuzuka- as well as an ongoing competition between Shisui and the Hyuuga team leader, Iroha.

When he was found hiding in the Hyuuga compound, injured and weakened, carrying news of impending danger, as well as a message of hope, he was imprisoned and barely kept alive.

The clan leader couldn't believe his words, so he ordered him beaten and tortured until his words sounded convincing enough.

Iroha was one of the torturers; he revealed himself as curious and open towards other clans. His support was crucial to make the Hyuuga patriarch believe him.

All the teams kept records of their missions' results and every six months the losers had to buy the winners drinks -last year both Uchiha and Hyuuga were defeated by Ino-Shika-Cho, and this year both were even more motivated to win.

Today they can relax. They can focus on themselves.

A knock on the door breaks the comfortable silence in the house.

The outside world comes knocking at their door. In their house. In their world.

He doesn't expect anyone, Shisui tells Sasuke, leaving the room.

Itachi finally left, Shisui doesn't tell Sasuke.

It's the Yamanaka heiress. Her father wanted to make sure that he was alright after the previous day, after their unconventional attempt to extract information from Kabuto by connecting their abilities to Kotoamatsukami.

Or so she claims.

She's dressed more nicely than the day before, and when she talks she tilts her head to the side, a clear sign of attraction.

Shisui thanks her for checking on him and reassures her that he's fine and that it was a honor to work with her father, a clear move to end their conversation in the best way. Ino keeps chatting though; she is interested in him and she almost can't believe it's not mutual, as used to be popular as she is.

Then she notices a second pair of shoes in the genkan.

Despite the man's beautiful curls, sexy nose, plump lips and muscled arms, she can definitely survive not having him, as long as she can satisfy her curiosity. She remembers that the day before, despite the weakness caused by their experiment, the Uchiha was in a hurry to return to someone, which makes her think that he has something deeper and serious with this mysterious someone. She also remembers rumors about who's the lucky one and she's dying to share them with her childhood friend Sakura, especially when, thanks to her good sight and the shape of the house, she can get a glimpse of the bedroom and of the pale figure with messy black hair on the futon.

Only then she greets Shisui goodbye and, smirking, wishes them a nice day.

From his angle Sasuke can't see who's at the door but he overhears a female voice that triggers something.

He remembers something. He heard that voice the day before.

He feels something. Like he felt the day before. Anxiety, a strong need to see his cousin before visiting Itachi. Fear, because he couldn't find him anywhere, and the house -their house- was empty so he kept looking around the village and he was nowhere and suddenly the house was full of people. It was weird because he had been given its keys and he had been told that it was also his house so he considered it their house, their shelter from the outside world with its rules and hypocrisies, but the day before he was outside their shelter while others were inside and he felt lost and afraid because maybe Shisui was tired of him, maybe he was replacing him, maybe he was about to call their agreement off.

For Sasuke it's not even an agreement anymore and it hasn't been such since a long time, he can't even pinpoint when and he's not sure what it is, he just knows that he feels desperately lost just thinking about it ending.

He needed his cousin, he needed to not think, he needed the pain and pleasure that Shisui gave him, but Shisui's house was full of people and he wasn't needed -or wanted- there. Yet he pushed those feelings back; he had to go if he wanted to be on time, as appropriate when one is invited in the house of the future clan leader and Hokage, and he didn't want to offend his brother, he didn't want his father to accuse him of disrespecting the elder.

He didn't want to be treated one more time as the worthless being that he was.

Only from Shisui he had wanted to be called worthless, to be treated as such, to be punished for it, to be insulted and hurt, bitten and fucked mercilessly.

It felt right coming from him. It felt safe.

It feels safe.

He instinctively gets up to see who the voice belongs to, but his headache is strong and his legs are weak so his movements are slow and by the time he's leaning on the door frame, the guest is leaving and the house door is closing.

"Sasuke what...are you alright? Do you have to throw up?"

Shisui rushes to him as soon as he turns back. He mentions that hangover nausea is a bitch, as to reassure the boy, but he repeats the question two more times.

"I don't have to...and I said I know hangover nausea, this is different..."

Sasuke's voice would be more pissed off if he weren't so weak.

"Yeah I get it, but as I told you, who knows what weird Suna shit you drank with your brother...like that freaky liquor made of scorpion's blood mixed with its poison. No wonder their Kage used to be a bloodthirsty monster".

Shisui speaks in a deliberately casual way, putting Sasuke's arm over his shoulder and attempting to guide him back to bed, but as the younger doesn't seem to agree, he helps him reach the living room, gently easing him on the sofa.

You know hangover nausea, but you don't know mangekyou nausea, my beloved.

Just like you don't know how afraid to lose you I was.

Just like you don't know I just called you beloved in my head, where you can't hear me.

"Shisui...what the hell is happening?"

No danna, no shishou, just his name, just Sasuke's wary voice.

"You'll feel better soon, kid," the elder replies, stroking his cheek with his thumb, then getting up and heading to the kitchen, "I'll make you some herbal tea I got from the Grass Country, it's said to work wonders with headache".

Sasuke nods, exhausted more than convinced.

He can sense that something is wrong; he's familiar with hangovers, just as he's familiar with sharingan overuse fatigue since he was a child who trained harder than all his peers, and what he feels now is similar to both yet different from both.

It's a well known fact that sharingan based jutsu cause headaches on their targets.

But he's an Uchiha. And another well known fact is that basic sharingan based jutsu don't work on them. And an unwritten rule that is just as well known is that no Uchiha should use strong genjutsu on a clansman.

Why is Sasuke thinking about all this even? And who might have done something to him and why? Surely not Shisui, who likes to be physical and direct with him. And Itachi...hasn't he been painfully direct to him? He thinks, noticing that the memory of his brother humiliating him still hurts but not as much as before, like an old fracture that only hurts when the weather is changing. Besides, if this was the case, shouldn't he be more worried about it?

Or is his hurting head dulling his other emotions and reactions down?

Or being in Shisui's company, in Shisui's house -their house- making him feel safe?

Or is there a bigger worry occupying his mind right now?

"By the way, you're not the only one who woke up with a headache. But let me warn you: it's disgusting".

Shisui's voice arrives from the kitchen.

"You remember those overdue reports, right? I was working on them yesterday but two Anbu arrived and you know how smug they act...they even pretended to not hear me when I called them by their name...you should have seen them, that Eiji guy and his brother Yoshi...even with their masks you would have sensed how pissed off they were…"

A faint smirk appears in the corner of Sasuke's mouth, as the elder often made fun of Anbu, exposing their identities every time they came into their headquarters.

Shisui was the hero who, together with Itachi, had stopped Danzo's attempted massacre of the Uchiha clan. But, in many's eyes, Anbu's especially, he was also the loose cannon who had tortured the warhawk and thrown his head at their feet as a demonstration of how they would end if they followed their leader's order. This made the Black Ops particularly wary of him, and irritated by his behavior, that instead delighted his own team.

For them he was the best leader, who would never put anyone in danger.

For them he was a hero.

For one of them he was a mentor. His master. His lover.

"They literally dragged me to Kabuto's cell. Imagine the Hokage and Shizune, the Yamanaka leader and his daughter, Hinata with Neji, all working together to unseal that freak's mind; Inoichi body swapping with me as I used Kotoamatsukami; the Hokage's Byakugou supporting us with more chakra and the Hyuuga couple monitoring us to make sure we were alright".

"Did it work?"

Sasuke asks, his mind picturing the scene, realizing how dangerous and difficult it was.

"Nah, and we tried over and over, until Inoichi and I could stand up. Orochimaru beat us on this, fuck him…"

Shisui comes back with two cups; the younger scrunches his nose at its strong smell.

"I clearly worked harder than Inoichi cause I fainted somehow...I woke up with an IV attached to my arm and all the team analyzing my state as if I was dead already. I would have teleported the fuck back home but nope, no chakra. Damn Kabuto".

He doesn't tell Sasuke that he fainted because he was rushing to leave those shinobi and look for him, as he had been having a bad feeling about him since he had woken up.

"So I was taken home by the merry company, and guess what? The Hyuuga couple, Shizune and Ino came with me and claimed that I should rest with them around. As if I could..."

Shisui couldn't sleep when people were awake around him, as expected of someone who had fought a war when he was still a child. He could only sleep around people he trusted. Like Itachi, in the past. And, even though he was born after the war, like Sasuke.

Like Sasuke, who is listening to his story with wide open eyes, because what he saw yesterday wasn't a social gathering; those people were in Shisui's house -in their house- to check on him.

The thought that Shisui hasn't replaced him feels like relief. A flash of unexpected happiness, like he hadn't felt since his childhood, when, after being scolded by his father, he received affection and praise from his brother.

"And are you alright now?" He asks. Shisui replies after gulping down the liquid.

"Headache hasn't gone completely but kind of, yeah".

He doesn't tell Sasuke that his head hurts because he used Kotoamatsukami on him after finding him in a trance, on the cliff where everything started, after entering his mind and seeing what Itachi had done to him, after spending a whole night stopping his mangekyou from activating, thus preventing the clan, and the boy himself, from inquiring why it had activated. After saving his life over and over.

The Grass Country medicinal tea causes drowsiness; Sasuke falls asleep on the sofa after drinking it while chatting with Shisui, or rather, after listening to him adding details about the previous day's mission.

They way his cousin recounts it is so vivid that it's almost like he he was there.

He doesn't even realize how grateful he is to Shisui for including him.

It feels like that time, after the avoided massacre, after having survived Danzo's fury, after having activated sharingan for the fear of almost seeing his brother killed in front of his eyes. He had been brave biting the old man, he had been brave not crying out when his leg broke, and later, when all the adult shinobi were busy reorganizing the village in a democratic, more transparent way, while his brother had left to look for the Senju Princess, when no one had time to heal his leg so he had been treated haphazardly, until Tsunade would come.

He had been left in the care of Shisui, after both the Uchiha and the Hyuuga leaders had thanked him for his heroic gestures but also reminded him that torturing and beheading Danzo would have appealed to all the Konoha clans in the wrong way.

In a way, they both had been left behind.

In a way, it was prophetic.

"Sasuke, if you could choose to be with anyone right now, who would you be with?"

Shisui asks suddenly.

"What kind of question is this? Are you still out of your mind after that mission?"

Sasuke asks in return, raising his brow.

"I'm not".

The elder looks serious indeed, and Sasuke feels a pang of something.

That same fear he had hours before, upon hearing a female voice outside the door.

That same fear he stopped having when Shisui recounted his previous day.

That same fear of being replaced. Abandoned in deep dark waters.

"Is this...that thing Naoto does?"

Most shinobi's relationships have no strings attached, as death could catch them anytime.

Nevertheless things don't always go smoothly; sometimes breaking up is hard, with unnecessary scenes and even unprofessional acts of revenge.

Being a womanizer, but also being very careful on the job, Naoto perfected the art of getting rid of an unwanted partner. The secret, he explained during a mission, was shifting the focus on an unrelated hypothetical question that would confuse them; once they replied he would approach the topic in a vague indirect way, making it sound like it was her decision to end it all, that he had no control in it, and that since he respected her will he would accept everything. Of course his teammates pointed out examples and objections but he insisted: if done properly no woman, or man, could resist. They would be confused for a few hours, days sometimes. They would find flaws in his reasoning, but they would also doubt of themselves, therefore they would not act against him.

"Oh please no," Shisui replies chuckling, "Why are you thinking about that bullshit? I told you to not think about that".

That night Shisui told Sasuke to not pay attention to what Naoto said; when he had just become a special jounin his career had almost been destroyed by a jealous kunoichi he had cheated on, so he devised a way to protect himself, or so he thinks. The younger commented that it was stupid to come up with such things instead of telling the truth and the elder had nodded, ruffling his hair because, as he replied, he really had no experience in how hard relationships can be -he knew well, instead, how hard the truth can be.

His caresses changed then, becoming deeper and heavier, until he had the other pinned under this body, and as he was rubbing himself on him eliciting the other's moans, he said that they wouldn't have such problems, as their agreement was simple.

That was months before though; he felt that it wasn't so simple anymore.

He felt that there was no agreement anymore, even.

Or maybe, he didn't want an agreement anymore.

Indeed relationships were hard.

Or maybe, they were not hard at all.

"Just reply...Shisui".

Sasuke states firmly, calling the elder with his name again, like he never does otherwise.

Too much familiarity towards his team leader was unprofessional, and shishou was more fitting for his mentor; almost as much as danna, as Shisui proposed when he started teaching him more than shinobi techniques.

Then he pauses, as to to find the right words, as to find the right way, as to find the courage to pronounce them.

If he asks the other will reply and if he replies he will know and if he knows he will suffer. Maybe.

There is a 50% chance that he won't be rejected.

Besides, he is a shinobi. He can't be afraid to face the truth.

Yet he is.

Months earlier he would have thought that he already had his heart broken by his brother. He would have felt that pain in his chest even. Now, that memory only brought a feeling of numbness, totally different from the painful fear of losing his cousin, mentor and master.

The fear of losing his lover.

The fear of losing one he loves.

"Do you want to get rid of me?"

He asks once he mustered the self-control to speak calmly. The result is a naive tone that the elder remembers well, as it's the same from the time he asked him if his brother had liked their kisses.

"No".

Shisui replies, a faint smile illuminating his eyes.

"Not at all. But I want to make sure that you want to be here".

I want to be sure you want to be with me. How hard to speak these words, so he doesn't, hoping, knowing, that the younger will understand, because he understands so much without even realizing.

I want to make sure that you're not with me as a consequence of everything happened with Itachi, of everything that didn't happen, of everything happened even if you can't remember.

I want to make sure that I'm not a second choice.

"Now it's my turn to ask: if you could choose, where would you be?"

Sasuke is surprised: no one ever asked him what he wanted. Neither his father nor his brother.

Especially not Itachi, but it doesn't matter now.

His cousin and mentor didn't do it either; he didn't ask what he wanted neither as he taught him the art of war nor when he taught him the art of loving.

Even though it was him who asked the elder to teach him.

In a way Shisui was the only one who had always paid attention to what he wanted. Or needed. Or both. And now he asked him again, directly.

It feels strange, in a positive way, to be asked what he wants.

It's the opposite of what Itachi did, even the previous night, when he took Sasuke not caring if he had someone else, not considering that he couldn't refuse him anything.

In fact precisely considering these things.

"How stupid…"

Sasuke replies, not exactly knowing how to react. His words are dismissive but his tone is different. Emotional, almost.

"I'm...fine here".

Inside this house, inside their world. Only the two of them, while everyone else is outside.

While Itachi is outside.

Even if Sasuke didn't remember the previous night Shisui was afraid that the his body would remember everything happened thus he would no longer want him. Instead, the younger chose him, in his confused, shy way that he could understand because the boy had never even thought about what he might want, as busy as he was getting stronger to be accepted by his father and brother.

"So, you're certainly not gonna get rid of me, kid"

Shisui chuckles, getting closer to him.

Relieved, Sasuke smirks.

"Aren't you the only one who can call our arrangement off, master?"

"This isn't an agreement anymore. It stopped being one a long time ago...Don't you think?"

It's true: what a long time before used to be an agreement where both parties gained something -learning sex for Sasuke, gratification for Shisui- changed gradually but unstoppably, becoming an addictive outlet for their frustration, then a lifeline saving both from drowning in the dark sea of unfulfilled desires and impossible regrets and self-loathing, then transforming in something else again, something that was both addictive and a lifeline and more, and deeper, as deep as their mutual knowledge, as deep as their mutual care, despite the roughness, despite the bruises, despite the blood.

Even more so because of the roughness, the bruises, the blood.

A relationship.

They both realize it. They both felt it before but they couldn't express it, too confused and afraid that the other would not feel that way.

They both know now, but somehow it feels like they have to protect it from the unknown of what a relationship is, so they don't pronounce that word.

after all, what they know about it, and what they did so far is more than enough.

It's safe.

It's true.

It's theirs.

"But you still have to respect the rules, kid."

Shisui adds, brushing the boy's cheeks with his thumb, stopping at his lips.

"Yes...danna".

Sasuke replies in a low voice, but with such intense look that the elder can't help but kiss him, deeply and slowly, while firmly holding his nape.

Outside, birds are chirping and people are passing by, living their lives. Inside, their mouths are glued to each other's. They only separate when their lungs need air.

Their eyes are mirroring the other's with lust and desire; their lips lock again, and in a moment Shisui is on top of Sasuke, grinding against him as the younger pushes up, deepening the friction.

There's a slightest drop in the boy's energy though, as well as a little shift in his expression. He looks strained, unlike his usual, albeit pained defiance.

As if he's struggling to keep up with the elder, who asks him is he's alright.

Sasuke took pride in being strong enough to take Shisui and everything he brought upon him, no matter how hard, heavy, deep or painful; but today, in the aftermath of multiple genjutsu -how different their intents!- he feels dizzy, his body slower, his mind lighter.

"You're crushing me..." Sasuke whispers, or rather, the words escape his mouth together with a moan.

"So what?" Shisui asks again.

"...Good," the younger smirks.

Normally Shisui would tighten his hand around the younger's neck, or sink his teeth in his throat, or his fist in his stomach, and the other would urge him to do more.

Pain and pleasure are connected; it was the first lesson Shisui taught Sasuke.

Pain and pleasure became their lifeline, their safe haven inside the elder's house, or in a room somewhere during a mission, it didn't matter.

This time it's different; his hands only brush his midsection, his fingers only loosen the grip over the younger's throat before his breath is cut, his teeth only graze over his neck and throat. He can't help but hold back; after all, his cousin still hasn't recovered after being exposed to multiple genjutsu, after almost activating mangekyou sharingan, only stopped by other multiple genjutsu, albeit this time to save him.

This time it's different, so if Shisui's body, mind and soul crave the other so badly, his heart just can't indulge in hurting him now.

Even if Sasuke looks confused by his uncharacteristic behavior.

His dark side craved to hurt the boy, whose dark side craved to be hurt by him, he used to think. Both did. Then he -both- thought that maybe said dark side had taken control of him, but then he realized that he -both- was his dark side. And more.

They were not bound by the outside rules and opinions and ideas.

They were neither good nor bad, and at the same time they were both good and bad.

Those were outside categories. Inside, they were just themselves.

In fact, they were themselves even outside, no matter what others would see in them.

"Shit. Maybe I'm just getting soft with you," the elder chuckles, almost embarrassed.

"...I hope not too soft..." Sasuke replies, smirking yet soft at the same time, more or less subconsciously provoking the other like he always did.

Like he'll always do. Even though always is not a concept that shinobi consider, as death can catch them anytime, and people come and go anyway, sometimes leaving nothing behind them, sometimes leaving a trail of destruction. Like his brother.

But that was a long time ago, or so Sasuke feels, as there was life on that trail, it was born slowly and painfully but it was there, blooming from the ruins of his broken heart.

"Kid, don't try me.."

You know what could happen. I would ravage your body and soul and I can't let it happen now.

"What if I want to do that exactly?"

Sasuke teases.

"Just...shut up, kiddo," Shisui interrupts, placing a hand over the younger's mouth, not applying strength though.

Sasuke moans, slightly frustrated.

"Then make me".

He adds, in the defiant way that is so his. But his expression changes, as once again he feels suddenly dizzy.

Inwardly concerned, Shisui doesn't show it so not to make the other worried.

So not to make the other think too much about what might have happened the previous night, now that he seemed to have stopped wondering.

"Who's soft now?"

He teases. Sasuke must really feel bad because no snarky remark comes from his mouth.

"Sorry".

He only says, as if he is too confused to elaborate more.

Even if he slept and took a nap he's still exhausted, his head hurt and his eyes are burning.

His heart feels loosened up in a way he can't express, but this doesn't depend on Itachi's or Shisui's genjutsu. It's because of what Shisui said about what once used to be their agreement, that now is their relationship.

"Don't be," the elder reassures, getting off him, "Tomorrow we'll deal with everything. Today we're both feeling weird".

Tomorrow you'll be stronger and we'll put the past night behind us, today I need to check on you, I need to look after you, I need to take care of you.

Sasuke nods while Shisui lies beside him and adds some more details about the Kabuto mission, from how the Yamanaka girl opened his wardrobe for some inexplicable reason to how one of his liquor bottles mysteriously disappeared, and he suspected that Shizune brought it to Tsunade, knowing the Hokage liked that specific plum sake. He strokes his cousin's -his lover's- hair as he speaks.

"I think I'm tired…" Sasuke says after a while. "I want to sleep a little more..."

His father didn't tolerate oversleeping. Only when he returned from a tiring mission or when he was injured he was allowed to rest, otherwise he had to get up and train or work. On the contrary, well knowing how hard he trained, Shisui always allowed him to rest in his house, even when he was only his mentor for ninjutsu, even when he teased and provoked him knowing that the other would struggle to respect his authority. He always let him rest.

And Sasuke always rested much more easily in his cousin's house.

That's why he always looked for reasons to stay. That's why the elder gave him a spare key. His father accepted his excuses every time; he didn't think much about his younger son, who wasn't as brilliant and precious as Itachi, and who, anyway, spent time with his team leader and mentor, a prodigy and a hero who might make him stronger -whatever they did.

Besides, Fugaku didn't want to know. As long as Sasuke did his duty it didn't matter.

"Fine. I'll leave you to sleep then".

Shisui says, propping himself on his elbow, ready to get up and leave the room, but Sasuke turns towards him.

"Wait, shishou".

His look is open, almost vulnerable.

"You are tired too, and you have a headache. Why don't you too...stay here for a little while?"

Stay with me please. But it's still hard to say it, so he doesn't, he just says here and hopes the elder will understand, as he understands everything else.

He's right, Shisui understands.

"Sure, I can use some rest".

He encircles the boy with his arms.

"I'll stay here, as long as you want".

I'll stay with you as long as you want.

I'll stay with you as long as I want.

It's the same anyway.

We want the same thing: each other, in a way that others don't understand, but it doesn't matter. They are outside, we are inside, in our house, in our world.

"Through our bleeding, we are one" (AFI, Strength Through Wounding)

A/N:

I hope you guys liked this chapter. In fact I hope you liked this ending.

The 'moral' of this story, beside the angst and the dark hot stuff that you guys like otherwise you wouldn't have read all of it, is that what we desire more than anything sometimes is not the best thing for us, and if we don't obtain it, it might be better. Something, or someone in this case, better, more suited for us might arrive next. Sometimes we're blinded by our complexes and/or desires that make us struggle because we can't have them and we suffer because of them, and we miss opportunities for this. Sometimes instead we slowly and painfully move on, not even realizing, thus we are able to see things and people with different eyes and really move on.

In the past I saw this as 'settling', thus as a bad thing, because I too was one of those stubborn people. But settling is different, it's bitter and boring. What I depicted in my fic is 'adapting', is 'moving on', is, more simply, living, and loving, although in a very, uhm, angsty and hotly dark way. But hey, what is unhealthy for certain people is good for others, especially in this fic where they're clearly consensual and they both clearly seek the other and their specific behavior, where Sasuke is masochistic and Shisui is not exactly sadistic; he might be physically, with Sasuke, but he's not psychologically, while Itachi is more fitting for a sadistic mind, even though he too is more arrogant and controlling than sadistic. In my fic, I mean.

So, this ending, not just this chapter but the latest ones, are about adapting: to a relationship that both Sasuke and Shisui were afraid to call as such, to communicating deeply and trusting someone for Itachi and Izumi, whose relationship in this AU (not in canon where it's boring) grew on me, developing by itself from a fake marriage to a deep friendship, and more, as even though in this universe they have potential for real feelings.

When I started writing this fic i had the ending in mind, more or less, but it was more bittersweet, more about trying to find something vaguely similar to happiness together, but every time I wrote a new chapter, every time I wrote their interactions, they were deeper and stronger, both for Shisui and Sasuke and Itachi and Izumi too. So, Shisui and Sasuke really love each other and they really are 'happy' together, even though since this is not a fluff fic, their happiness is kinda angsty lol. It's because of their universe, their environment, their personalities shaped in them.

On a different note, with the previous collaboration between the clans I meant that they're all considered equals, which I think canon never did, always prioritizing Uchiha. They're cool, yeah I know, but a decently functioning village would keep into account all clans because they all have their special abilities.