Warning: death, violence, gore, violence, sexual situations, triggering situations... this is a dark story

My hair lightly tapped the backs of my bare shoulders as the light breeze set it in motion. It was the second to last day of summer. The days were growing slightly shorter and the sun seemed to release more of a residual glow compared to its bright beams in June. It felt like the world around you was heaving that one last sigh before the autumn fog would cloak Seattle.

I felt his eyes on me, and I turned my head, getting lost in the stormy depths of his stormy grey eyes. A lazy smirk crossed his face and I couldn't help but smile back. For all of the darkness that followed him like a cartoon cloud, he made up for it when he smiled. I was caught up in him, forgetting the danger.

—

Two months, three weeks, four days, seven hours, and fourteen minutes had passed since I graduated from Washington State University. Two months, three weeks, seven days, and twenty-seven minutes since Raymond Steele was shot and killed in the line of duty. Not that I was counting, but as each day without work passed, I found myself growing more and more frantic. The only man I ever thought of as a father was gone and all that remained of him was a sizable life insurance policy naming me as the sole beneficiary. I didn't want to touch that money. It was blood money, money that was supposed to keep me happy after Ray passed. Everything else was tied up and in FBI custody while they tried to sort through the mess he had left behind. It wasn't a really a mess, but it was a complicated web to unweave, to determine fact from fiction. There were some doubts about his loyalties.

Ray had been approached by the FBI nearly two years ago. His past as a Marine and his quick ascension through the ranks of the Seattle Police Department, made him an ideal candidate. I still remembered the last words I ever spoke to him.

"It's tough for me to say this, Annie, believe me," he said, sitting across from me. "The FBI want me to run an undercover operation here in Seattle."

"Does that mean you'll still be working for the police department?" I asked, spinning the spaghetti around and around on my fork.

"No, not really. I'm going in- all in. I won't be able to contact you once I'm on the inside," he said. His face finally showed his age- his forty-five years finally catching up to him.

"So what does that mean for us?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer to that question.

"I'll be in the field for three years, maximum. And then life should return to normal, although I'll be placed in witness protection, I'll be able to see you."

"Why? I mean, why did you take this job? And now?" I asked, blinking back tears. I chose to go to school in Washington to be closer to him, to have the chance to have him back in my life for longer than the precious few years he was married to my mother.

"I don't expect you to understand, sweetheart. The Marine in me still honors the sense of duty that comes with working a job like this. And I have to do this. Seattle isn't as safe as it used to be. If I have the chance to help fix that, I'll take it."

I stood up, shaking. "You're signing your death sentence."

"Annie, wait, please," he begged, standing. "This is to keep you safe!"

"I want to keep you safe too, Raymond!" I spat, watching him wince at the use of his first name.

Those were the last words I ever said to him.

Two years later, it hurt just as much. But, I could thank my lucky stars he wasn't tortured. If he was shot, the people he was investigating knew he was a cop and they could have easily kept him win the verge of death to extract information from him.

"Ana!" I was shaken from my thoughts as Katherine Kavanaugh, my roommate and best friend, began placing bags of groceries on the island of the kitchen. She would happily let me live in the trendy walk-up we shared without paying any rent, but I hated the feeling of being indebted to her parents. Especially now that Ray was gone. "How's your morning going?"

"Still no luck on the job hunt," I said, standing to place my empty mug in the sink. I groaned as I checked my latest email, skimming through the words, "regret" and "thank you for your interest". No one was hiring English majors.

"I don't know why you're looking for a job right now. We just finished working our asses off for the past four years. Take a break, live a little! Especially after Ray," she trailed off, giving me a sad smile. "He'd want you to be happy first."

I rolled my eyes. "Getting a job will make me happy, Kate."

"Anyway, this came for you," she said, handing me an envelope with the FBI logo in the top left corner.

"It's probably to do with Ray's salary or something," I said, opening it. I skimmed through the letter, only to sit down again, shocked.

"Ana?" Kate asked, stepping forward to pick it up off the table. She skimmed the letter. "Why do they want to meet with you in person?"

I shrugged. Deep down I knew why. When I first started dealing with the FBI after Ray's death, they seemed overly interested in my job prospects, in my skills and strengths. They were too interested for it to be friendly. They were considering recruiting me to take over for Ray.

"I have no idea why. I'm not sure I want to," I said shrugging.

"Ana, come on! It's the FBI! The last thing you want to do while job hunting is piss off the government. It's probably just to discuss Ray. Who knows what secrets he had to keep from you. Maybe they'll give you the answers you always wanted," she said, tucking her strawberry blonde hair behind her ears. "I think you should go, regardless of what they'll want to talk about. It will be one step closer to getting the closure you need "

"That's the reporter in you," I teased dryly. "Remember curiosity killed the cat, Kat."

She smiled. "Call them Ana. I'll do it for you if you don't."

I sighed and took the letter to my room, knowing she would do something like that. I dialed the number before I could talk myself out of it.

"Sawyer," the voice said. I knew who Luke Sawyer was, he was the one I had dealt with the most when the FBI first contacted me.

"Hi Luke, it's Anastasia Steele," I said.

"Anastasia, it's very good to hear from you. I'm assuming you received the letter and that's why you're calling," he said. Pausing for a moment, he continued. "Are you free to meet today?"

"Yes I am. I'd rather get this over and done with," I said, biting my lip. "Can you meet me at Café Rouge in fifteen minutes?"

"Yes, of course. I'll see you soon," he said, hanging up. I sighed and began to get changed. I couldn't believe I was about to do this. Shaking my head at my stupidity I tucked a copy of my resume into my bag. I just hoped when Luke gave me more information he'd talk me out of it. That was a long shot. They wanted me for some unknown reason and I was fairly certain I was their last hope in gathering information about the Grey family.

"I'll see you later, Kate!" I called out, leaving the house as quickly as possible to avoid one of her inquisitions. The door shut before she could even say goodbye.

I sighed as I stepped out onto the busy sidewalk. It was a surprisingly clear day and I found myself smiling as I walked to my favorite cafe.

I was sitting at a table, sipping on my tea and reading a newspaper, trying to catch up on what was going on outside of Seattle. Everyday since Ray's death, I meticulously read every article I could get my hands on about the Grey family- tabloids about the youngest sister's partying habits or economic pieces about Christian Grey's steady growing business empire.

"Anastasia," Luke said, offering a hand. He smiled and gestured for me to stand. "Let's take a walk."

We exited the cafe and wandered towards the pier in silence. He motioned for me to sit on a bench overlooking the water. "How are you?"

I shrugged. "As well as can be expected."

He nodded. "Listen, I know you appreciate brutal honestly, so I'm not going to sugar coat anything or beat around the bush."

I nodded. He scanned the surrounding area, taking note of all of the people enjoying the warm summer's day, ready to end the conversation at a moments notice.

"Your father was one of the best undercover agents the FBI ever had the pleasure of working with. And his sacrifice was not for nothing, either. Your father was someone who I could have called a friend," he said. I didn't respond- I didn't know what to say to that.

"We, the FBI believe that you are in a very good position to become an informant. Not a full undercover operative, but we believe you could be a very effective mole. We have another undercover agent who is about to be pulled, but he assures us that Ray's false identity was airtight. The Grey family believes they killed Stephen Morton. And they didn't kill him because they found out about his real job. He was killed accidentally. Anastasia, you have to understand that the people who killed your father are hurting from his loss too," he explained gently.

"That's fucked up," I said. Luke laughed.

"Yes, yes it is. And so it what we're asking you to do," he said. "Being an informant means you will be protected by the FBI as much as possible without any interference on our part. You choose what information to give to us. You will obviously have a job that is close and connected to the Grey family. You will be able to reap all of the rewards for that job. You will also be able to pull out of your role working for the FBI at anytime. However, if you remain connected to the family after you resign, you will be implicated just the same as any family member."

I nodded. "How will I deliver information to you?"

"By letter," he said. "You'll write whatever information you need to and send it to a postbox. Obviously don't mail it from a private mailbox, use a public one. You'll never get a reply. Also you'll have a number you can call in an emergency situation."

"What about my mother," I asked. "I'm not really in contact with her, but what if she asks or talks about Ray?"

"To everyone but you, Katherine Kavanaugh, and the Bureau, Raymond Steele died in a tragic Marine training exercise two years ago," Luke said. "We will brief Kate and explain that Ray was liaising with us about some misconduct in the Marines and the importance of creating a new cover story to protect the investigation he was working on. She will have no idea about your new letter writing hobby and it would need to stay that way."

I nodded. That was a noble story, a noble death for Ray. And my mother wouldn't have concerned herself with his death, nor would she have been notified when it happened. Ray had no other family that would be asking questions either. "What would my cover job be?"

"You will appear on their radar as the new bartender in their bar, Shades of Grey. It's a basic job, but right now you need to focus on building your trust with them. We know you have the bartending experience," Luke said. "And that persona you adopt is exactly what would draw wither Elliot or Christian to you."

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "I'll do it."

Luke smiled. "I knew you would. Now, here's a briefing with everything you need to know. Go over this tonight, and follow all of the instructions. Please don't skip getting a new phone and laptop and taking measures to hide any photos of Ray you might have. In this file are photoshopped images of him you can display instead. Burn the file when you have reviewed it all. Then call this number and set up the emergency line."

I began reading the file. "When should I go to the club?"

"Tomorrow at noon. Also, the undercover agent doesn't know who you are and you won't know who they are. Report any small detail you think is pertinent. We would rather have too much information to sort through than not enough. This will be the last time I'll see you until we extract you or you resign. Be safe, Anastasia," he said, shaking my hand before walking away.

I tucked the file into my bag and headed home to sort through everything in my head. I was doing this to finish what Ray started. He would be proud of me.

Kate wasn't home when I reached home and I quickly swapped all of the photos of Ray in my room. I gathered my laptop and iPad in my bag and left home again. I managed to rent a safety deposit box easily, one that would require ID with the key to open. Depositing the photos and computers, I headed to the local Apple store to pick up a new laptop, phone, and iPad. I walked back to bank and began to transfer some files to my new devices to make it look like I had been using them for a while. No detail was too small to pay attention to. I locked my old phone away, removing the SIM card and placing it in the box too. Ray had been removed from my new life.

I headed back home and locked myself in my room, going over the file. It was pretty basic and I knew my largest hurdle would be getting the job tomorrow. I programed in the emergency number and postbox address into my phone under Grandma. Better than some friend as they suggested. I heard Kate's keys in the lock and quickly hid the file under my mattress.

I emerged from my room. She raised and eyebrow. "It's been two years since Ray's death."

I nodded. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. Officially the Bureau had to be the one to give you the story."

"It's fine, Steele. I just had no idea Ray was ranked that highly and that it's a national security risk," she said. "How was the meeting?"

"They just informed me that they were going to give you the story," I said. "Also I found an opening at a bar and I think I might try for the job."

She grinned. "That's not a job. You know you love bartending as much as I love Nastia the Bitchy bartender."

I giggled. "I'll be going my Ana this time. This isn't a college bar."

Kate shrugged. "Well I hope this Ana will have your alter ego's personality."

I grinned. "She definitely will."

I spent the rest of the evening in my room reviewing the file and making sure I absorbed every bit of information possible. I was concerned that they wanted me to be noticed by either Christian or Elliot. What happened once they noticed me?

I sighed and turned out the light and went to sleep.

Please let me know what you think! I have a link to my Pintrest board for this story on my profile!