Of course she'd heard people talk about Ren as the most unobtainable man in Japan, Kyoko was no fool. With an entire country of women who'd do anything to go out with him, Ren had always managed to remain unattached without a scandal to his name. Rather than damage his reputation, it only had served to increase it by placing him on a pedestal to be admired—but not touched—by all those below him. Kyoko herself had no problem with this, even with her newly discovered feelings she'd never deluded herself into thinking that anything was possible, which was precisely why the past few weeks had been the most troubling. It had to all have been a mistake, just Kyoko projecting her own silly feelings onto their interactions, but she'd started to notice that this unobtainable man seemed to be unconsciously doing everything he could to delude her into thinking he was obtainable.
It had begun as the Heel siblings had ended, leaving Kyoko first thinking that it was some left over pieces of Cain that Ren hadn't fully been able to expel. Dismissing it as that had been easy at first, but the longer it went on the less it all made sense. As a professional actor surely Ren would be able to return to normal by the end of the role, no matter how strong the character had been. And he'd developed some habits that Cain didn't have. It had to mean something, everything Ren did meant something, Kyoko just didn't know what.
Was he angry with her? No, that definitely didn't seem to be the case. Though he smiled a lot, her grudges had stayed safely buried deep inside to escape the brightness of those smiles. Was it an acting test? That seemed more like something Ren would do, but Kyoko didn't see the point in this instance. In all other situations there had been a clear scene and she had known she was acting. If this was a test it seemed oddly unfair to her. What were the other options?
Quickly running out of steam on that train of thought, Kyoko shifted her position in her chair, breaking her nearly always perfect posture to lean back and look up at the ceiling. She was waiting at LME for Sawara to finish a meeting and, as had become custom recently, her freetime was eaten away with thoughts of her senior, Ren Tsuruga. More specifically, she had been thinking over his new habit and what exactly it meant. To explain more clearly, Kyoko supposed that this habit could be split into three separate things that Ren had taken to doing around her which she wasn't used to.
The first was just simply those smiles. Kyoko wasn't a stranger to Ren's smiles, no matter the type, but it seemed that recently the smiles were growing more gentle and frequent. She'd first noticed on a day they'd both gone to LME for work but had been too busy to speak to each other. Not wanting to be rude, Kyoko had bowed to him slightly from her side of the lobby. The smile he'd sent back in return could have melted even the most frigid of hearts. Even if it was just a look, it almost felt as though all the poison Shou had left in her life was being erased with a single smile. Had it only been just the one smile, Kyoko would have been fine but just as soon as she'd steadied her heart from the last one, another one came around to throw her right off balance again.
The second was his increased interest and comments on her appearance. It seemed that Ren had inexplicably decided that he needed to give her his opinion of how she looked every time he saw her. But the lines themselves were the most puzzling. "Good morning, Mogami-san, have you done something with your hair? It's nice." "That shirt suits you, Mogami-san." Somehow Ren seemed filled with lines she'd never thought she would ever hear him say. Of course she'd always thank him for the consideration but what was she meant to reply to that? Well aware that she was a plain noodle, Kyoko wondered if maybe he was trying to boost her self-esteem. In that case, she would be a horrible junior for ever suspecting an ulterior motive to such a caring act. She would still have to let him know that it wasn't needed though, it was embarrassing for him to have to go so far for her.
That would have been case closed, were it not for the third puzzling action: Ren's sudden apparent lack of respect for personal space. While the two had developed a relaxed but professional relationship towards each other, a little closeness was to be expected but something seemed a bit off now. Maybe it was her own feelings painting it all in a different light but Kyoko swore that Ren had gotten into the habit of standing just a little bit closer to her than he needed to. Perhaps she was simply just more aware of him. That had it be it, right?
"Mogami-san, can you hear me?" Jolted out of her thoughts by the man himself, Kyoko jumped harshly, realizing her view of the ceiling had been replaced by one of those very smiles she'd been so concerned over. It was all she could do for a moment just to stare at it before she caught herself and dragged her conscious back to reality. No matter how dazzling the smile, Kyoko was not one of those sad, sorry girls who could think of nothing but love. She'd been there and done that and had her heart broken once. That was more than enough.
"Tsuruga-san, what are you doing here?" she asked, shifting her head back forward and standing up to greet him properly. After a moment she glanced around looking for Yashiro whom she'd come to think of as Ren's shadow. She finally spotted the manager at the end of the hallway with some confusion.
"He had a few things to do yet so I wanted to give him some time," Ren explained smoothly, noticing the direction of her gaze. "And since I noticed you here I thought I'd come over to greet you." Accepting this as the pure and simple truth, Kyoko nodded. "You look nice today, Mogami-san." And so it continued. Part of Kyoko was waiting for Ren to get tired of whatever game he was playing with her and stop with these inexplicable compliments but he seemed to be fully determined to continue. She decided to ignore it.
"Are things going alright with work?" she asked out of politeness before remembering the time and leveling him with a more serious look. "Have you eaten yet?" Already expecting a response in the negative or that he'd eaten some kind of convenience store food, Kyoko was preparing a lecture as she usually did.
"They are, thank you. Ah, you caught me, I haven't. I was just going to get some now," he told her, that bright smile only getting brighter. "Can I buy you lunch as well?" Kyoko hadn't been expecting the offer, and had been searching for another topic when she'd processed what he'd said. Somehow it was different than when he'd offered to give her rides or gotten her food before. Those times had all been just because it was more convenient that way. Now he was going out of his way to make the offer and Kyoko found herself swallowing back her nerves. As much as he looked like a Casanova, she didn't think he realized the effect he could have on people.
"Oh I uh… sorry! I have an appointment with Sawara-san which should be any minute now," she remarked as she gestured slightly towards the door she was waiting by. Ren seemed unfazed as always, only strengthening her thoughts that he had no idea what he was really doing. Or maybe he thought that she was above such ridiculous feelings as love. With all the other women around him feeling that way, maybe he wanted someone who could respect him without wanting more. The thought only made Kyoko feel more like a disappointment.
"Dinner then?" That was not the reply that Kyoko had expected. Why? Why did he want to take her out to eat? Why was he making it sound like… a date?
"I… I…. I have plans with Moko-san I'm so sorry!" she cried, bowing immediately at a ninety degree angle as she did so. The desperation in her apology was more to do with her lie than turning down his offer, but what was she supposed to say? Her heart was weak and any more time around Ren and he'd see it too.
"Ah, that's too bad," he replied casually, shaking his head but not looking upset. "You don't have to apologize, Mogami-san, it's my fault for asking so suddenly." His words were reassuring and Kyoko looked up again to see that his expression was unchanged. So he hadn't noticed her lie then? Ren seemed just about to say something else when his attention was caught by Yashiro at the end of the hall again. Sighing to himself quietly, he nodded to his manager and turned back to Kyoko.
"Good luck with your meeting," he said to her as he started to make his way down the hall again. Pulling out his phone, he waved it slightly in her direction as he turned back to her once more while walking. "And if you change your mind, feel free to give me a call." This line was followed by a wink that was quick to send her cheeks blazing. No, Kyoko did not know what to make of this Ren at all.
"Is he… is he making fun of me?" Kyoko whispered to Queen Rosa as she lay in her bed late that night. She'd been confiding all of what had happened today in a hushed tone to the royal flower as she tried to work through just what exactly could be on Ren's mind. At three in the morning that was the conclusion she'd been led to. Of course Kyoko didn't want to think such a cruel thing of her beloved senior, but what other conclusions were there to draw? It seemed as though his speech and actions were all designed purposely to inspire false hopes and pick at scabs on her heart. What reason would there be for him to do that if he didn't know her secret? Did that mean it was all an elaborate prank? Make her think she had a chance with him only to throw it all back in her face? Maybe that was all love ever was: delusional hope and shattered dreams. Rolling over again, she tried to force the thought out of her mind to come up with another idea, but that seemed to be the one conclusion that failed to leave.
Even when morning arrived and Kyoko emerged from her room with red eyes and a decided slump in her posture, it was the one thought that would not leave her head. Ren knew how she felt and he was laughing at her for it. By the time she'd dragged herself to TBM that afternoon, Kyoko was ragged. It almost seemed as though her spirit was coming out of her body as she walked. Much though she wanted to believe that she had changed, here she was making the same mistakes as before. Once again she was letting a guy use her for his own amusement, but this time it just made her sad.
A light touch on her shoulder brought her back to attention as she nearly jumped out of her skin for the second time in as many days. For the second time it was Ren, though this time he seemed much more apologetic about the fact.
"Tsuruga-san!"
"Sorry, Mogami-san, I tried to call out to you but I didn't know if you could hear me," he explained, though his hand still rested on her shoulder. Almost as soon as she'd registered this, he'd slipped it away but rather than simply pulling his hand back, to Kyoko it felt more like a caress. This time at least Yashiro was standing there too and she quickly greeted him as well. From there at least, the conversation continued normally. At least until Ren's new quirk showed its face again.
"I was waiting for your call last night," Ren said, smile bright as had become the norm. Now, however, Kyoko could detect a note of mischief in the expression which seemed to be confirmation of everything she feared. "I was very disappointed not to get one." Even Yashiro looked embarrassed by Ren's words, leaving Kyoko with no doubt that there was something Ren wasn't telling her. His actions always meant something and this time she was certain she knew what.
"Tsuruga-san, can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked, gesturing towards the side. Even if she respected Yashiro, this was something that was between the two of them and they needed to talk it out themselves. She could see the manager's curious expression but she tried to assuage him with a smile.
"Of course," Ren replied with grace, one hand gesturing her to lead the way as he followed her to the unused stairway for some privacy. In another situation Ren might have had more to say, some kind of witty or flirty comment to make but he was bubbling up with more excitement than he wanted to admit to. Something was going to come of this conversation, he was sure of it. Yet… despite having stopped walking, Kyoko remained silent, unable to think of where to start in what she wanted to say. Part of her still feared she was misinterpreting the situation and if that was the case she definitely didn't want to say anything to imply her feelings.
"You had something you wanted to say, right?" he asked, but when he got no reply he started to continue talking. Ren didn't get nervous often, but this situation seemed to defy him to keep his cool. "Is it about dinner? I was just kidding, you don't have to worry if you were busy. And the offer if you ever want it. Besides, one of your jobs is to make sure I eat, right… Kyoko-chan?" This line, coupled with the blindingly bright smile that accompanied it was the final nail in the coffin for Kyoko. Though she always strived to be like a daruma doll and spring back up after every challenge, she already knew that this was the one challenge she could never face. With Shou's graceless indifference, it had been hard but her innocent and intact heart had seen her through. Ren's kind attention and inviting manner was harder; and this time she was facing it with a heart which was well beyond cracked. It was almost as though she could see her self-control… and she watched it snap.
"Stop!" she cried, eyes squeezing closed and hands balling into fists at her side. "Tsuruga-san, please. Don't tease me anymore." Her words were pleading and desperate, the faint prick in her eyes warning that if she opened them she'd burst into tears. She didn't want to see the face that her beloved senior was making anyway, she already knew a long time ago what the outcome of this would have been. If he were to find out about her feelings, Kyoko would never have blamed him for losing all respect for her or even hating her. She'd long since prepared herself for the day when he'd push her out of his life when he realized what a fool she was. But even in her darkest of nightmares she never thought he'd be cruel enough to mock her for them. Somehow she'd started to hold the hope that he'd find it in himself to forgive her.
"Mo-Mogami-san?" Unlike the sure tone he'd held before, there was hesitation in Ren's voice now as his hands lifted up uselessly to hover in the air. What was he going to do with them? Hug her? Somehow that seemed like it would only make things worse. "What are yo—."
"You can hate me," she began, keeping her eyes tightly shut and her shoulders hunched as though she was bracing herself for the worst. In some ways she believed that she was. As long as her eyes stayed closed she didn't have to see his expression; she didn't have to see his polite smile as he waved off her feelings. "You can hate me or leave me but please… don't tease me anymore. I know I'm a failure of a junior and you expected more than just a silly girl with nothing but love on her mind. I did too.…" The last part was added quietly, the tears that had only been threatening to emerge before now finding cracks to creep out from her eyes. They were like the love that was weeping from her locked up heart: struggling mightily to break into the world but unstoppable. And each one hurt. "But if you know about these feelings then please… please stop. I'm begging you." With her head still tilted down as it was, it was as though she was bowing to him, lending an extra note of desperation to her plea. Ren could only watch and listen in silence, the blankness of his face true shock rather than careful acting.
"I," Ren began, though quickly finding his voice failing him, something he wasn't used to. In the situations where she'd been reduced to tears he'd always been there to help and always had an idea what to say. But what could he do now, knowing that the reason for her distress was him. "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I won't do that anymore so won't you please stop cr—." His voice was gentle and he'd reached out a careful hand with the intention of lightly tipping her face up to look at him. The hand hadn't reached her face when he'd finally processed everything she'd said. There had always been the expectation that she'd be a bit troubled by his behavior due to her naïve purity and her deep rooted respect for the way things 'ought' to have been, but those were the only outcomes he'd envisioned. Much as he hoped his comments and attitude would stir her heart, he'd long since learned from experience. Or, at least, he thought he had. "These feelings? Mogami-san, are you trying to say that you…." Ren didn't know exactly how he was going to end that statement so he found himself almost gratified when Kyoko cut him off. If he said 'that you love me' and she denied it as vehemently as he was sure she would, could his heart take it? For her part, Kyoko couldn't let him say the words aloud because that would make it more real. It was much better to leave it unsaid if she was going to make it out of this.
"It's a disappointment, I know. I'll remove myself from your sight," Kyoko said quickly, still keeping her eyes on the ground as she took one step back and then another. Everything in her body language said that she was preparing to run. She'd run and then later when her senses caught up with her, she'd leave an apologetic message for him. He'd forgive her and things would continue much as they always had… right? No, Kyoko was aware that there was no returning from this. Love ruined everything.
"Wait!" Ren's hand shot out before either of them were fully aware of what was going on. All Ren could think was that he simply couldn't let her go. "You could never be a disappointment. In fact if you did mean you felt that way I'd be happy." The tone was meant to be soothing and to reassure her. Other than the hand that was carefully but firmly wrapped around her upper arm, he showed no signs of being too emotionally shaken. First she needed to know that he wasn't going to look down on her and then he could work on expressing his own feelings.
"Tsuruga-san, I asked you not to teas-." His grip tightened slightly on her arm and she found her words being cut off seriously.
"Mogami-san, look at me," Kyoko looked up at last, though with great reluctance. "I mean it." She knew what look she'd see on his face, the same polite smile he always showed when she was being troublesome. Ren was far kinder to her than she had any right, Kyoko was well aware, but she'd reached a point where she craved his kindness. She craved it so much that she was sure it would break her heart since it was the same kindness he could show everyone.
But Ren's eyes were not kind. In all her dreams of this confession, she'd seen a lot of expressions from Ren all of which ultimately devolved from politeness to contempt. The look in his eyes just then, however, was a look she'd only seen one other time: it was how Cain looked at Setsu. At first Kyoko tried to shake the silly thought from her mind. Right now they weren't the Heel siblings they were simply a junior and senior. That look that seemed to say 'this is the most important person in the world to me' didn't belong in this scene and yet it was there all the same. Setsu would have known how to reply to that look; she would have felt elated. How Kyoko envied Setsu. Kyoko met his eyes and felt that her heart was going to burst.
The silence stretched on. Something had to be said but Kyoko's mind was a typhoon of confusion which left her without a single rational thought in her head. Her body had been trembling for a while now, but it began shaking in earnest as the first rational thought finally popped into her head.
"Phone," she even said aloud as it occurred to her, recognizing the strong buzz as coming from her pocket. If nothing else it managed to break her eye contact with him as she reached for the device, freeing her from the panic that had rooted her to the spot. It wasn't enough, however. She could still feel it; the elephant trumpeted loudly in her ear waiting to be acknowledged. Kyoko looked at her phone anyway. Her mind turned even more frantic as she recognized the director's name and noticed the time.
With Ren's hand having loosened, she was quickly able to free herself and she stepped back, fiercely forcing herself to think of Ren as simply just a customer as she smiled brightly at him. "It seems I'm a bit late. I'm sorry, but I'll be taking my leave now," she told him, using the calmest waitress voice she could muster in that scenario before taking off at a dash. She didn't need a mirror to tell her that the heat she could feel creeping all the way down her neck was visible on her face.
"Ah, Ren, you're back," Yashiro commented, looking up from his notebook quickly at the man's entrance. His eyes immediately skimmed behind Ren but stopped in confusion when no one followed. "Where's Kyoko-chan?" At first there was a simple air of curiosity to the question before it was followed by a strong gaze of suspicion towards his charge.
"She got a call and had to go on ahead," Ren responded smoothly, by this point used to ignoring his manager when it came to the topic of Kyoko. Yashiro was not satisfied.
"You look… happy. Suspicious." The manager's gaze only grew more piercing despite being ignored. "When she asked to talk with you she looked upset and I was sure you were going to come back in a bad mood. Did something good happen?" Picking up his coat casually, Ren finally looked over at Yashiro, making a point to keep his face as composed as ever. At least, he tried to. The expression did not last long.
"Yes," he admitted truthfully, a gentle smile overtaking his features without permission. In this instance he supposed he could forgive his own emotions for running away with him. "You could definitely say that." Too blown away by the smile, Yashiro found it impossible to continue the line of questioning. Ren's expressions had rendered him speechless before, but never quite like this. That brilliant smile would go on to win him several new admirers before the day was out, but Ren could only think how happy he was that these same expressions also worked on LoveMe's number one member.
If this feeling was what people meant when they called him a playboy, Ren wouldn't wish to be anything else.