Summary: Prompt from dailyau on Tumblr: "Wow um when I told you your shirt was inside out I didn't expect you to take it off and fix it right here in front of me excuse me while I pass out because of your hotness"

Setting: Hogwarts, maybe during fourth or fifth year

Words: 993

Rating: T

"Leave Potter's bed in a hurry this morning, did you, Granger?"

Hermione whirled around and scowled in the direction of Malfoy's voice. Usually she could tolerate the blond's pathetic attempts at getting under her and her friends' skin (now if only Harry and Ron would follow suit…), but this was not her morning. Everyone had been staring at her for some unidentifiable reason, and she was bloody sick of it! That, combined with her anxiety over being late to her next class, meant she really wasn't in the mood to deal with the arrogant Slytherin's shenanigans right now.

When she caught sight of him in all his irritating, smirking glory, she was unsurprised to find Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. As always. His silent backup. She suppressed the urge to lash out as the three boys approached her now rigidly still form.

"What did you just say, Malfoy?" she spat. She was fully aware people were slowing down around them to watch the oncoming confrontation.

Draco stopped only a few feet in front of her, donning his most condescending grin. "Wasn't very gentlemanly of him to let you leave looking such a mess. What about your reputation?"

Hermione felt her jaw slacken and her eyes turn into serpentine slits. Crabbe and Goyle snickered while a mixed group of third year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs very indiscreetly reacted nearby.

"As much as I appreciate your commentary on my appearance, Ferret," she hissed in a deadly low voice, stepping closer to the smug pure-blood before her, "you'll be thrilled to know I didn't deflower Harry. Brush up on your manners and maybe you'll finally get the chance to do that yourself."

The tension in the hallway exploded. The Ravenpuff group was grinning and slapping each other and whooping and hollering; Crabbe's face turned red while Goyle's regular stupid expression morphed into uncertainty and fear; and Malfoy's delight was quickly replaced with fury.

Barely concealing a growl, he bored molten hatred into her amber eyes and replied, "Your shirt is inside out, Mudblood."

Hermione blinked and glanced down and - bugger. Her shirt was inside out. That explained why everyone had been looking at her strangely all morning! She felt the urge to run off in humiliation and find a nice dark corridor in which she could fix this situation, but then -

It was like a ton of thoughts all whirled into one clear, concise voice, telling her what the plan was.

Running off after he'd used that slur against her was unacceptable. Running off because she realized she'd attacked him when, in his own awful way, he had actually been informing her of the problem no one, not even her friends, had been willing to tell her about for the past few hours was unacceptable, too. She needed to find a way to win this altercation, a way to make him shut up. She recalled the only time she - or anyone besides his father - had succeeded in shutting Malfoy up had been in third year when she punched him in the face. Instead of hitting her back, he had walked away, she could only assume, because she was a girl.

And there it was.

Just because she was a Mudblood didn't mean he didn't recognize she was a girl.

The switch flicked; she was no longer frozen, but in action, ready to put on her performance.

"Well, would you look at that," she said innocently, pretending to examine the offending article of clothing with great interest. "It is. Hold this, would you?" Swiftly, she swung her school bag off of her shoulder and shoved it into Malfoy's chest. He stumbled back a few steps and dumbly grasped the bag before scowling and passing it off to a bewildered Goyle.

"Granger, what do you think you're - ?"

"And this." Hermione removed her cloak and tossed it to Draco, as well. This time, he didn't pass the item to one of his cronies; he simply caught it and watched in dazed confusion the bushy-haired girl before him.

So, as it turned out, did everyone else in the hallway.

Locking eyes with Malfoy, Hermione gripped the hem of her school shirt and pulled it up, quickly lifting the garment up over her stomach, her breasts, until she had yanked the item over her head, bushy hair included.

The hallway gasped.

Hermione Granger was standing before them in her bra.

This detail didn't go unnoticed by her harasser, either: Malfoy's features were instantly flooded with vulnerability as his eyes unconsciously roamed her exposed upper body. Hermione was faintly aware of Crabbe making some sort of noise that signaled discomfort and Goyle dropping her bag as she turned the fabric inside out, her eyes focused on Malfoy's distracted ones. She tugged her right-side-out shirt over her head, smoothed it down over her curves, and fluffed her hair. She extracted her cloak from a limp-handed and dumbstruck Malfoy and slipped it on, as well. Last, she picked her bag up from the floor, gave the blond - whose mouth was currently moving wordlessly, and whose perfect pale skin was now tinged pink - her most genuine smile, and chirped, "Thanks, Malfoy!"

And then she turned on her heel and walked away at a leisurely pace that said she didn't care when she arrived at her next class.

The group of Ravenpuffs watched the three Slytherins in the middle of the corridor for a reaction. For a while it seemed they wouldn't get one, until finally, Goyle blinked twice and blurted, "Hermione's a girl?"

Draco closed his eyes and exhaled deeply through his nose, trying to conjure the image of McGonagall naked to scare off his awakening 'friend' - he had a bloody class in less than two minutes! "Come on…" he muttered, gripping the robes of each of his brainless followers and leading them all in the opposite direction of Granger and her tiny waist and goddess-worthy breasts.