Chapter 4

Bo

It catches her by surprise when Lauren takes her to the hospital. The normal, human hospital. She naturally assumed Lauren would have taken Kenzi to the clinic. Like all the other times Kenzi was sick or injured. They went to Lauren, and Lauren helped. That's what always happened. And hadn't Lauren just said as much? Got up on her high horse and proclaimed she spent all day saving Kenzi's life while Bo lay around doing nothing- or as Lauren, erroneously, implied- having sex.

She knows her anger at Lauren is misplaced. She is angry at herself, for not answering her phone, for the way she had pushed everyone away the last few weeks. She knows she has no right to be angry, and that anger isn't going to get her anywhere with Lauren. But when Kenzi is concerned- everything else goes out the window- so Bo makes no effort to soften her petulant tone in the least.

"What is Kenzi doing here?" It's a demand, not a question. But compared to Kenzi's life what were a few angry words worth?

"It's the best place for her." Lauren answers. Lauren won't look her in the eye, which makes Bo more defensive.

"You won't even look at me when you speak to me!" Bo triumphantly accuses her.

Lauren was absolutely hiding something.

"I'm trying to drive. It won't help Kenzi if we have an accident." Lauren answers so calmly.

And it's true, and perfectly reasonable that Lauren would want to keep her eyes on the road. But it infuriates Bo. The way Lauren is so calm, so uncaring. And the way she is driving so damn slowly!

"You should have let me drive, you're driving like an old lady." Bo snaps. She knows she is being ridiculous, and childish. Lauren is right, no point having an accident. "And you still haven't told me why you dumped Kenzi at the hospital."

"I'm trying to explain why I transferred Kenzi here, you wont let me get a word in. It's the best place for her. If you want her to get the best treatment…" Lauren begins, just a tiny hint of frustration shining through in her otherwise calm tone.

"You know I do!" Bo shouts. "What is that supposed to even mean? That I don't want Kenzi to get better? That I don't care about her?"

Bo hears it, the hysteria in her voice, the paranoia, the unfair anger at Lauren. She knows she isn't being fair. She can't stop though.

"Is it because Kenzi is just a boring human, not interesting enough for you to waste your time on?" Bo demands.

Bo isn't proud of the venom in her voice. But it's Kenzi! And here is Lauren dancing around some kind of secret. Choosing her words so carefully. Holding something back. So it's a deliberate attack on Lauren, no doubt about it. And she's expecting Lauren to fight back, even kind of wanting it! It's making her feel better, dulling her anxiety about Kenzi, dulling her guilt. This is something she can deal with.

"Hey, I'm a 'boring' human too, in case you forgot!" Lauren snaps, finally. "Do you really think I would do anything that wasn't in Kenzi's best interests? If I could have helped her, I would have. I tried to. This is the best place for her." By the time she has finished that sentence, her voice has returned to a calmer tone. Calm, but distant, cold.

This infuriates Bo all the more, she is so calm, talking about Kenzi like she is just any other patient. Like it doesn't matter in the least that she is badly hurt and Lauren can't help her.

But before she can explode, something shifts, Lauren sighs deeply, and softens her tone. "I did everything I could for Kenzi. Her injuries are severe, but they are purely physical. There are no signs of fae involvement that need my expertise. The doctors here are trained in physical trauma. I have a colleague she is the best in her field. The best thing I could do for Kenzi is refer her to a doctor who is better equipped than I am to help her."

It sounds like a lecture, like Lauren is talking to a child, she is kind but a little condescending. It makes sense. But Bo can't shake the feeling there is more going on than she is being told.

"What aren't you telling me?" Bo whispers. "I know there is something."

Lauren hesitates for a moment. "I just think we need to focus on the important things, getting Kenzi the medical care she needs."

"I need to know what's going on. It's Kenzi! I know you never liked her. She doesn't mean anything to you, but she is everything to me."

"She is everything, and what i'm nothing?" Lauren takes the bait. Gone is the calm and logical doctor.

"You know I didn't mean that!" Bo exclaims exasperated. She has no real defence though.

"You think you can sit there and insult me, accuse me of what? Mistreating Kenzi? Not caring about her? Risking her life? I spent all day by her side. Doing all i could to help her. I was there for her every second. Where were you?" Lauren pauses, as if she isn't certain she wants to continue. "And the only reason i'm not there now, helping Kenzi, is because you can't be bothered to pick up your damn phone. You want to accuse me of not caring about Kenzi- where were you? No wonder Kenzi doesn't want to see you."

The guilt builds up as Lauren's words sink in. It's true, where had she been? Why didn't she know Kenzi was in trouble? Why hadn't she answered her phone?

"What? What do you mean, Kenzi doesn't want to see me?" Bo asks.

Lauren makes no reply, only keeps her attention focused on the road. Bo can see in her face, the hesitation.

"Lauren?" She asks. It isn't an angry shout, its soft and sad and evidently its something Lauren can't turn away from.

When Lauren looks over at her, briefly, there is no trace of anger anymore. There are even tears in her eyes.

"You're scaring me." Bo pleads.

"Im sorry. It's been a long day." Lauren Explains. "I just think what's important is that Kenzi get the best medical treatment, thats what we should focus on."

"You keep saying that, but I don't know what you mean. Why did you say that Kenzi doesn't want to see me? What's going on that you haven't told me? And if you've been with Kenzi all day why did you wait until tonight to come and get me."

"Ive been calling for hours, so has Dyson." Lauren snaps defensively.

"For hours, not all day, why did you wait so long to come and get me, or call?" This feels good. It shifts the blame from Bo to Lauren. So what she didn't answer her phone this afternoon. Lauren could have come got her, sent someone to find her. They should have come to her first thing!

Lauren sighs. "I really don't know what's going on. You'll have to ask Kenzi. I told you, she came to me this morning, told me she was injured on a case last night, with you."

"That's not true." Bo says quickly.

"I know that now. But that's what she told me, I had no reason to doubt her at the time. She told me you were injured too, that you didn't need my help. She made a point of saying it more than once. I think maybe she was trying to deter me from calling you. By implying I would be interrupting you from …healing."

"Why would she do that?"

Lauren doesn't answer "At first she told me that you were busy.. healing…" She says awkwardly

"I wasn't." Bo insists.

"It's ok, if you were, i mean it's good…." Lauren stutters.

"That doesn't even matter! Kenzi wasn't with me last night, I don't know why she would say that."

"I know that now! " Lauren repeats, her frustration growing. "At the time I thought you were..busy..and I thought you knew Kenzi was hurt and came to me, so I didn't think I needed to call you."

"You thought I didn't care that she was hurt? That I was just home having sex?" Bo scoffs.

"I thought you didn't realise how badly injured Kenzi was. And I thought you were injured too and needed to heal. That's what Kenzi told me! And then things she said didn't add up, some of the injuries are from days ago, she started dodging my questions and becoming agitated. She wanted to leave and I couldn't let her, she had internal bleeding and broken bones. She needed surgery. I tried to talk to her but I couldn't calm her down. Then I said I would call you- and she freaked out. She begged me not to."

"Why?"

"I don't know. She kept saying if I cared about you that I would keep you away." Lauren explains as best she can.

"And you thought that was ok?" A sinking feeling takes over as Bo realises she isn't surprised by the fact Kenzi didn't want to see her. She hadn't been around, hadn't been paying attention. Didn't even know what kind of trouble Kenzi was in. Why hadn't Kenzi asked for help? Had she? Had Bo been too caught up in her own life to notice or care? Lauren said she was injured days ago, how could Bo not have known, why hadn't Kenzi felt she could come to her for help?

"No. But she came to me, she trusted me and asked me for help, I thought maybe we were getting somewhere, I could see she was frantic and I just wanted her to calm down. I was thinking about her. Not you. And I hoped you would understand that." Lauren challenges.

"What point did you decide to let me in on this?" Bo asks bitterly.

"Im not going to apologise for trying to help Kenzi. I did what I thought was best at the time. What difference would it have made if I had called- you wouldn't answer."

Lauren pulls up in the car park at the hospital, slamming on the brakes a little too forcefully. "You want to stay put here and argue with me all night? Do you think you could think about Kenzi for one minute and stop thinking about yourself?"

It's a low blow, and before Bo can decide if she is going to accept it or not, Lauren is out of the car. Bo has no choice but to follow.

She manages to stifle her anger. Now she is afraid. What could be so bad Lauren is afraid to tell her?

"Lauren? Please?" She pleads as she catches up. She knows she should apologise. Thank Lauren for taking care of Kenzi. For coming to get her even though Kenzi didn't want her around. She wants Lauren to hold her and tell her it will be ok, Kenzi will be fine and it will work out, and Bo will have a chance to make it up to both of them. She wants Lauren to say Kenzi isn't mad at you she's just confused. She knows Lauren is keeping something back, she knows too that she can push her buttons to make her spill it. But she is afraid. Because whatever it is it can't be good. Maybe Lauren is afraid to tell her that Kenzi is too badly hurt, she isn't going to make it.

Lauren must have seen it, the panic in Bo's eyes. She stops, reaching out for Bo's hand. "I don't know what is going on or why Kenzi is acting this way. But she is going to be fine, and we will sort it all out. You just have to be patient, give her some time to calm down. You have to stay calm, she needs you to do that ok?"

It all makes sense. It goes against every part of her nature to drop it, to just take Lauren's word that what? She doesn't need to know the rest of it? She wants so desperately to just hold onto what Lauren said- Kenzi will be fine. The rest they can work out. That's all that matters.

It crosses Bo's mind, fleetingly, that all she has to do is reach over and touch Lauren with her power, ask for the whole story, right now. It probably violates some kind of relationship rule, counts as an abuse of power, but – Lauren should be telling her the whole truth, if she isn't that's a violation too. And she can almost justify it- for Kenzi.

The only thing that stops her- is Kenzi's voice in her head, telling her "No, you can't do that to someone you love!' Telling her, 'I don't want you to sacrifice your relationship with Lauren for what? A vague hunch she is keeping something from you ? Just chillax, just wait, you're almost here- just come and talk to me, leave Lauren out of it!"

At the thought of Kenzi, tears well in her eyes, she blinks them back, not wanting Lauren to see them. She doesn't want sympathy, doesn't deserve it. But her heart is aching at the thought of Kenzi being in trouble. From the fact she had no idea what was going on. From the fact she can not even remember the last time she even saw Kenzi. What had they spoken about? Had Bo even asked her what was going on? If she was ok? Was she ok? Was something wrong Bo should have noticed? Why hadn't Kenzi come to her? What had she been doing, alone, that caused her to get so badly hurt? Who would have done this to her?

Now that's a better train of thought. Because no matter if Bo is the shittiest friend in the universe, and she doesn't deny that she is, she still isn't the one who did this. Someone did. Someone went out of their way to hurt Kenzi. And that person is going to pay.

With that Bo nods in agreement, squeezing Lauren's hand, as they walk hand in hand into the hospital.

They walk silently along the corridors. Bo following Lauren's lead. She wants to push everyone aside, out of her way, and run to Kenzi. But as she moves further inside the long winding corridors, an unfamiliar feeling takes over. She feels out of place, like this is not her world, she does not belong.

She falls back in step behind Lauren, the panic hitting her with a new intensity as the smells and sights of the hospital bombard her senses. As the seriousness of the situation hits her anew. Kenzi was here, badly hurt. So badly Lauren couldn't help her this time. Bo has lost touch of her fear of injury - of death. She sees, from the way the others look at her, that they think she is too reckless. That she relies on her healing abilities too much. And perhaps it's true. She isn't immortal after all. Just her healing was one part of her self she had wholeheartedly embraced- so convenient considering the amount of trouble that seemed to follow her around. She didn't have to worry about being injured, about the consequences, not in the way most people did. And somehow along the way, even though Kenzi had no such ability, she had forgotten to worry about Kenzi's safety. Kenzi never complained about the dangers of the job, of being part of Bo's world. She never seemed afraid, and Bo had never felt the need to be afraid for her. Things happened sometimes, and Lauren fixed them.

She tries to fight it, the thoughts that push their way inside. That maybe they were right, Dyson, Trick, even Lauren. Maybe this kind of life was just bad for Kenzi. Maybe the danger was too great, maybe she had been selfish in wanting Kenzi around. She adamantly denied that Kenzi was a liability. That kind of accusation she could fight off. But the counter argument, that it was for Kenzi's sake that Kenzi go somewhere else, safer, far away from Bo, from the fae. She couldn't fight that one.

But there were fae all over the place, that's the thing. It's not like Kenzi would leave and suddenly be safe or immune. She would be in arguably more danger, she wouldn't be claimed. And while the concept of claiming a human life didn't sit entirely well, it meant that Kenzi was afforded some small measure of protection, that other humans just didn't get. There were bad things everywhere, human and fae, so Bo honestly believed Kenzi was better off by her side.

She had let her guard down though, she realises with horror. She hadn't kept Kenzi close enough, hadn't been there by her side. She had lost sight of the dangers , the realities, of the life they live.

Lauren had told her, and she had no reason to doubt Lauren's opinions, that the attack was likely human, or at least possibly. There was no conclusive evidence of anything fae related. This didn't rule out fae involvement. But Lauren didn't seem to think there was much doubt. As she said, there are literally hundreds of way that any fae could have hurt her without leaving a trace if they wanted- to hurt her , or scare her, or use her to get to Bo. There were so many ways and this- well it just wasn't their style apparently.

It's not quite enough for Bo to all conclusively. Far as she is concerned she can rule nothing out.

"There is one thing I should tell you."

"What?"

"I just want you to be prepared. Kenzi isn't in a good frame of mind."

"You told me, she doesn't want to see me. I get it."

"She doesn't know what she wants Bo." Lauren answers. And it sounds almost sympathetic. "But that's not what I mean. She really didn't want to come here."

"I can imagine."

"She came to me for help, to start with. But she made things difficult."

"I bet she did."

"Bo, she was very severely injured, and she was fighting every thing I tried to do to help her. I had to physically restrain her to keep her safe."

Bo doesn't know what to say to that. She tries to picture it in her mind. And she can't say she likes the idea of Kenzi being tied down against her will. But she can imagine how un co operative Kenzi can be, and she cant blame Lauren for doing what she had to do to help Kenzi.

"And?" Bo prompts, not sure she really wants to hear it.

"And while I was examining her test results she managed to get away."

"You let her leave?"

"I didn't let her, she took off. It took hours to find her, and when we did…"

"We?"

"Dyson and I. She didn't want to be found. Dyson had to physically hold her down while I sedated her just to bring her back to the clinic."

"Ok." Bo says. She doesn't like it, and she has a lot of questions- but Kenzi is here now and she will be ok, so what's the big deal?

"I couldn't keep sedating her, I didn't even want to do it once, it only made her breathing more unstable. The extent of her injuries was much worse after she left the clinic. Physical trauma isn't my area of expertise, and Kenzi wouldn't let me help her, nothing I did got through to her. That's why I brought her here. There are good Drs, they know how to manage her injuries. And they are better equipped… I didn't know what else to do. If I just brought Kenzi here, and she told them she wanted to leave, and signed the papers, they would have just let her go. I couldn't let that happen. So I had her committed against her will, I told them she was a danger to herself and not capable of making decisions about her medical care. Which was the truth, by the way. She would have walked out of here and bled to death."

Bo doesn't know what to say to that. Of course she wouldn't want kenzi to walk out and die. But there must have been a better way. Didn't Lauren even try to talk to her and calm he down? If someone had just come to get her she could have got through to Kenzi and calmed her down. But she knows too she is partly to blame, for not being there. Not just today, but in the last few weeks. She hadn't been around. She can't criticise Lauren for doing what she needed to. But she can't deny she is so angry. At Lauren, at herself. Even at Kenzi.

Kenzi knew that Bo hated it more than anything, being kept in the dark. She knew it. So why would she do this? She tries not to let her mind go there- blaming Kenzi. She tries to think about how scared she must be, how much pain she must be in. She tries to imagine what could have happened, why Kenzi would shut her out. There is no excuse for it. None. And the way Kenzi had run from Lauren after going there for help. Lauren said she could have bled to death. How could Kenzi do that just run off. What if they hadn't found her, what if she had died, alone and afraid, and Bo was just left here in the dark, all these questions, all this guilt and confusion and pain.

Bo doesn't realise she is crying, not until Lauren pulls her into a tight embrace. She wants to pull away, she has so many questions, she is so angry, so afraid, so consumed with guilt. But just for a moment she falls into Lauren's embrace, sobbing desperately. Lauren is patient, gently stroking her hair and waiting for the sobs to subside. She doesn't say a thing. Not until Bo pulls away.

"I'm sorry." Bo whispers. "All the things I said to you."

"It's ok." Lauren tells her, and there is so much love in her voice, so much assurance, she almost believes it all really is ok.

"I should have been there, I could have calmed her down."

"Maybe. Maybe not. But you're here now. There's no point looking back. Kenzi is safe here, that's what matters."

Bo nods in agreement, trying to calm herself. Lauren was right, as usual. Kenzi was ok and the rest would work itself out.

~

It catches Bo by surprise that, when she and Lauren arrive in a small waiting room, Dyson is pacing the floor nervously, his arms folded across his chest. Even Dyson was here for Kenzi, when she was too busy. Dyson had always been kind to Kenzi, mostly to please Bo. But he still had trouble seeing a lowly human as being on the same plane as fae. So to see him here, pacing the halls, looking worried about Kenzi, that came as a surprise. It wouldn't have surprised her if he showed up later, to comfort her, to spar with Lauren, but that he is here for Kenzi, that does surprise her. She can't help but feel warmly towards him for that, though those feelings are buried under deep layers of her own guilt for not being here too.

Dyson tells them that Kenzi is having some kind of tests, that they can't see her right now. But that her condition is stable for the moment. He doesn't say anything else, not at first. Only "Glad you could finally make it." It's his tone more than the words that betray his feelings. That coupled with the cold stare makes it clear to Bo that he blames her.

"I suppose you went along with this too, decided I didn't need to know Kenzi was hurt and in trouble." Bo accuses him, her own tone just as cold.

"Actually no. I'm the one who insisted on calling you. That's what freaked Kenzi out. That's the reason she ran. That, and I took the shackles off her." He admits.

Bo doesn't know what to say to that. She can't keep up with who she is mad at. Lauren for shackling Kenzi. Dyson for letting her loose.

"None of this would have happened if you had let me know. I could have calmed her down." Bo insists angrily.

"Too bad we couldn't get hold of you then." Dyson remarks coldly.

"You didn't even try!" Bo directs at Lauren. "You say you wanted to build trust and respect Kenzi's wishes, but you have no problem tying her down against her will." Bo accuses her.

"Would you rather I just let her go to bleed to death in the gutter?" Lauren asks

"I would rather you called me!" Bo yells back at her.

It was one thing to hold back her anger when Lauren was being so kind and loving. But the two of them, ganging up on her, she can't keep herself grounded any longer.

"That would have made it worse. Lauren did the right thing." Dyson says, this time it's not so cold, it's genuine.

"I don't believe any of this." Bo shakes her head.

"Lauren did the right thing. Kenzi didn't want help, and she didn't want you. Lauren was doing a perfectly fine job and Kenzi probably would have calmed down and been fine if i hadn't come in insisting on calling you. It terrified her. I'm the one she conned into letting the shackles off, not Lauren. If you want to blame someone for that, blame me." Dyson offers.

Bo doesn't know what to say, or think, or feel. Why is it so easy to be mad at Lauren, and not Dyson? He is standing there saying he upset Kenzi, he untied her, he caused her to ran away. Taking all the blame from Lauren. None of this is making sense.

It's Kenzi she is mad at, she realises. More than Lauren , more than Dyson. Why was Kenzi pushing her away? Why would she run like that? Why would she say she doesn't want to see Bo? Lauren was only doing what kenzi asked. How could Kenzi shut her out like this?

Lauren and Dyson seem involved in a conversation that doesn't include her. They are practically falling over themselves to take the blame for each other. It's the exact opposite of what they normally do, blame each other and try to turn Bo against the other.

"It wasn't your fault." Lauren assures Dyson, returning the favour for sticking up for her. " Kenzi decided to run, she made that choice." Lauren tells him.

"Unbelievable." Bo mutters under her breath.

Dyson turns to Bo then. "Did you stop and ask yourself why Kenzi came to Lauren in the first place? Why she didn't come to you? That's not Lauren's fault, or mine. It's not even Kenzi's. Maybe you should take a look at the way you've been acting these last weeks before you decide to blame anyone else for this." He accuses. His tone isn't cold or mean, it's perfectly calm and reasonable, which makes it sting all the more.

"Dyson…" Lauren warns. But it's too late, it's said. And Bo can tell from Lauren's expression that she does not disagree with him. And that cuts her deeply. They all blame her, she realises. Dyson, Lauren, even probably Kenzi. They all think this is her fault. For a moment her own guilt threatens to consume her. But she manages to push it down.

"No." Bo says decidedly. "I don't know what is going on here, but I know that somehow you two turned Kenzi against me. Is it some kind of payback?" Bo asks. "Because I dumped you?" She motions to Dyson. "Or because I need to sleep with other people?" She aims at Lauren.

"Bo, you're being ridiculous." Lauren says.

"No, iIm not. You've always been jealous of Kenzi, the time I spend with her. You somehow turned her against me thinking i would have more time for you is that it?"

"We didn't have to turn her against you." Dyson interjects. "I'm sure you did a good job of that yourself if you treat Kenzi half as badly as you treat the rest of us. You want to blame someone? Look at yourself. You can't keep dragging Kenzi into this kind of trouble and be surprised when she gets hurt."

Bo feels outnumbered. She can't keep up with who is mad at her about what. It does surprise her, a little, that she is copping so much attitude from Lauren about Kenzi. Dyson had made his feelings clear a long time ago – Kenzi was human, Bo shouldn't drag her into all these dangerous situations. Not just for Kenzi's own sake, but because she was a hinderance to Bo. Neither Lauren nor Dyson were thrilled at the trouble Bo seemed to attract, or the situations she went into head first. Partly from concern, Bo knows.

But Lauren had never brought Kenzi into it- perhaps because she was human herself. To say that Bo should let Kenzi go, for Kenzi's own good, would be tantamount to saying she should let Lauren go too. Besides, Lauren and Kenzi never got on, Kenzi's fault mostly. So to have Lauren stick up for Kenzi's interests so vehemently is a surprise. A surprise too that Lauren and Dyson are on the same page, usually if one of them disagreed with her, the other would fall over backwards to support her to win her favor.

But right now, she is well and truly in the dog house, from both of them. Even though she wasn't there when Kenzi was hurt- doesn't even know how it happened. It might not be her fault, she thinks, hopes. Yet somehow they see fit to place the blame on her.. she feels it- the I told you so... Feels that somehow she has let Kenzi down, let all of them down.

She understands what they are saying on an intellectual level. Kenzi is in all kinds of danger from her association with Bo. But it was Kenzi's choice- she knew the risks. Bo never forced her. It's not like she wanted Kenzi to get hurt, not like she purposefully set it up, not like she left Kenzi alone on purpose in the hospital ...it makes her feel sick inside . To think something happened to Kenzi, that she was all alone, that Kenzi must think Bo didn't care, that couldn't even remember the last time she saw Kenzi, or if anything was on her mind. Yet both Lauren and Dyson had managed to drop everything and be there for her in such a way that they felt entitled to pass judgement on her.

"This isn't helping Kenzi." Lauren points out, trying to diffuse the situation.

"You just don't think about the consequences sometimes." Dyson interrupts her train of self pitying thought. His tone is gentle, as if he is trying to be reassuring. To make up for his cutting tone earlier. She supposes he is trying to make her feel better-though it has the opposite effect. It's an attack, deep to the core, and she cant help but retaliate.

"I suppose it's better to be like the two of you , sit and think and think about every little thing that can go wrong, and never DO anything!" She retorts. Somehow it makes her feel better. To be angry, to attack everyone else, and take her mind of her own … what was that feeling creeping up inside her- guilt. Plain and simple.

"What Dyson means, I think, is we don't want anything to happen to you, or Kenzi, you understand that right? You've been hurt so many times, If not for your healing ability you would be dead." There is genuine fear in Lauren's voice, but its not enough to soften Bo's attitude.

"Well, lucky for me." Bo says bitterly.

"It's not like that for Kenzi. It was only a matter of time before she was at risk." What she doesn't say, but is implied, is that it's not like that for her either.

"I would never want anything to happen to us either. I would never knowing put Kenzi in danger. Things happen, I cant control everything, I Never forced Kenzi to do anything. It's her life, her choice."

"I know you don't see it that way sweetie. And we're not saying its your fault, just that .." Lauren continued before being interrupted.

"I wasn't even there, I don't know what happened to Kenzi, I didn't do this to her!" Bo insists angrily, but there are tears forming in her eyes threatening to spill over.

"We're just saying thats why we are concerned- for both of you. There are consequences to your choices. You make enemies, powerful enemies, and they retaliate. " Dyson finishes for Lauren. She doesn't seem able to keep going with the conversation, not after the tears welling in Bo's eyes.

"You think I wanted this?" Bo challenges Dyson. "You're acting like I did it on purpose, like I intentionally hurt Kenzi, like I beat her myself with my own two hands. I would never do anything to hurt her. Kenzi is the only true person in my life, the only one who loves me for who I am, who never let me down."

Lauren's face falls as those words come from Bo's mouth. " Oh? Kenzi is the only one who cares about you?" Lauren repeats sarcastically. "I guess I don't count, nor …" For a second Bo thinks Lauren is going to say 'nor Dyson' but she hesitates "..anyone else in your life. Poor Bo, no one in the whole world understands you or cares, we're all out to get you!" Lauren spits out at her.

Bo feels like she can't breathe. The words shocked her, and she can see Lauren has been sitting on that for some time. It wasn't a spur of the moment heat of an argument outburst.

Lauren clearly has more to say, but Dyson interrupts.

"Lauren..." He says in a warning tone, that doesn't match the sympathetic glance he shoots her, which Bo translates into something like "She doesn't mean it, don't take it to heart."

It does little to settle Lauren's anger though. "Everything isn't about you Bo!" Lauren yells.

Bo stands stunned, she isn't used to the anger from Lauren. From either of them. Can't they see how worried she is about Kenzi? She is terrified. Why are they doing this? Do they really blame her for this? Does Kenzi blame her too? Is it why she didn't want Bo around? That makes Bo's blood run cold. She could stand it, barely, from Lauren and Dyson. But the thought of Kenzi blaming her, it's too much. Bo is speechless.

Dyson pulls Lauren aside at this, and whispers something to her that Bo can't make out. It drives her crazy too that she can't hear what Dyson whispers. That he even IS whispering to Lauren and shooting her secret sympathetic glances as if they are part of some club of poor tortured souls she has damaged.

Lauren turns away from them both after that, taking a deep breath and shaking her head several times, before turning back. Lauren's hands are shaking. And more and more Bo realises she doesn't understand what is going on.

It strikes Bo as odd, to see Lauren lose it in front of Dyson, she was always so careful, so paranoid, not wanting Dyson to see the slightest problem in their relationship. And Dyson always so critical of Lauren. Since when did he stand up for her? Why is Lauren so angry, thats the thing she should have asked herself, should have asked Lauren, an hour ago. But there is no time to really wonder, not when the world is against her.

"Ok, I think we are all upset and worried about Kenzi, lets not get carried away and take it out on each other," Dyson says "None is blaming anyone for anything, we all just want Kenzi to be ok."

Lauren nods, in agreement, and silent apology. She wont say it thought, wont take back what she said.

Bo can see it in her eyes, anger, and blame. Not just for Kenzi, for endangering her. But for not being here, for being caught up in her own problems and not paying attention to anyone else. She sees it in Dyson too- they blame her for this. For what (Ever) happened to Kenzi, for not being here, for everything. The two of them standing here in judgement of her. And whats worse, they aren't wrong. Not entirely. Somehow the way they stop attacking her makes her feel worse. Makes her want to attack them all the more.

"I didn't want this to happen!" Bo protested angrily. Her voice softened as the tears fell earnestly now. "I never wanted Kenzi to get hurt, or caught up in anything. I should have been there, I should have noticed she was in trouble. I know I messed up, but I never wanted this. I would give anything to trade places with her." It's sincere too, it's right from her heart. She would do anything to protect Kenzi. So what if they didn't know it, Kenzi did right?

Why hadn't Bo been around, Why hadn't she wondered where Kenzi was last night? Why had she let her own problems get so big that she stopped caring. No, that's not right, she never stopped caring. Something just happened... they just drifted apart. Kenzi wasn't a kid, she was a grown up, she could take care of herself. God, but she was just a kid in so many ways. She always tried to be so tough and fearless, but she was just a kid who had never had anyone who cared about her, until Bo. And even Bo let her down. Dyson was right, Kenzi never should have to pay the price for the mess Bo gets into.

"But you cant trade places, that's the point." Dyson says it gently, but it cuts right through her. "You can't expect her to fit into this kind of life and bounce back the way you can."

Bo can see from Lauren's face, she doesn't disagree. She might not have been able to say it, but she is glad Dyson did.

Bo knows it too, its one thing to wish she could trade places. but she cant. She cant help Kenzi safe by just wishing things were different. She has to face consequences of the choices.

"I would die to protect Kenzi." Bo says.

There are tears in Lauren's eyes now too. Bo can't make sense of that.

"I know you would." Is all she says. "But it doesn't work that way."

"If you care so much about protecting Kenzi, then why do you insist on dragging her along to every fight?" Dyson challenges

Bo doesn't bother to protest- whatever happened to Kenzi this time was nothing to do with her dragging Kenzi into a fight.

"We know you didn't want Kenzi to get hurt." Lauren tells her. "We know you love her." Lauren stops, as if she has forgotten what she was even trying to say,

"You need to stop and think that's all." Dyson adds, " Some of the situations you get into, people are angry, they want revenge, they are bound to come after you and those you love. You just need to think before diving head first into every situation that comes along, before involving Kenzi in your business. Think about what you;re getting yourself involved in, and the people around you, That's all. You can't make choices like that, invite danger in, you can't put kenzi in danger and say I wish I could trade places, You can't. And you can't just disappear off the face of the earth when things happen and not face the consequences." He says. He isn't trying to be mean, he isn't even very angry.

Part of Bo respects him, because he is sticking up for Kenzi's welfare, and that is so sweet. And he is right. Kenzi was in danger because of her. Kenzi was hurt because of her. And she had been nowhere to be seen when Kenzi needed her most. So she has no protest to make.

"You're right." Bo finally concedes. And he is.

"Okay." Dyson tells her. "Good, I'm glad we have an understanding."

And for a moment, they all smile cautiously, and breathe easy.

"You're so right. My life is so dangerous, I'm not capable of making a responsible decision. Kenzi shouldn't be part of it, She's far better of without me. I can't even manage to notice she is in trouble or be here when she needs. No wonder she didn't want to see me. You too Lauren, you're far better off without me, after all you're just human too, and even you Dyson, can't have you getting dragged into my 'business'. I just don't think about the consequences, so best if I go somewhere far away from everyone, will that make you happy? Is that what you want? You wont have to bother yourself worrying anymore, and you'll all be better off when I'm gone!" She says it as she storms away from them. Just like that, like a child having a tantrum.

Dyson rolls his eyes. "Oh please!" He mutters.

"Bo, that's not what he said!" Lauren protests, panic rising in her voice.

"Can you stop thinking about yourself for five minutes! " Dyson calls after her.

It stings, because Lauren had said the same thing in the car, stop thinking about yourself. Was she really that selfish? Then maybe they are better off without her around.

"You just finished telling me what a terrible person I am, how everyone is in danger because of me, so isn't it best if i'm just not here. What else do you want from me?" She asks him. She is fighting back tears, trying to sound angry, but she can't quite pull it off, not this time.

"You're being childish. And twisting everything we say! I Want you to grow up take responsibility, learn from your mistakes like the rest of us. Start thinking about other people. You really think that its best for Kenzi if you just disappear right when she needs you most? You really think thats best For Lauren? For me ? " He asks.

"Why not? Kenzi doesn't want me here, Lauren told me. Why would she? I've not been much of a friend lately. She probably blames me as much as the two of you do. You're the one told me to cut Kenzi loose for her own good! What good am I to Kenzi? She couldn't even come to me, she went to Lauren, who she doesn't even like!" Bo states.

If Lauren is insulted by that, she doesn't show it. After all it's not news that Lauren and Kenzi don't get on. For Kenzi to go to her for help is strange, to say the least.

Dyson answers, for a final time "I never said you were to blame! Kenzi doesn't want to see any of us, she is obviously in some kind of trouble, plus she is scared and hurt, I don't think she is thinking clearly. Neither are you. If you can get over yourself for five minutes you might realise that. If you really care about Kenzi, about any of us, then you wont walk out like this. It's not about you, not everything is, so get over it and make a decision. But don't stand there and tell us how much you care about Kenzi then walk out like a spoiled brat having a tantrum. If you care you stick by the people you love, even when its not easy. That's something we all do for you – even Kenzi. Its the least you can do in return. If you want to walk away, because it's too hard to live with the consequences of your actions, then good riddance, I'm not going to lift a finger to stop you. If you really think it's ok to just walk out, then Kenzi is way better off without you anyway." Dyson turns his back then, as if he has said all he is going to. As if it's up to Bo now, and her choice if she wants to stay or go, and he couldn't care less either way.

For a moment Bo stands there, she takes a deep breath. And then, slowly, calmly, she turns and walks away. Neither Dyson nor Lauren make a move to stop her.

~