Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or One Piece, and all previous disclaimers still apply.

"Chocolate Frog." The gargoyle statue slid to the side, much to Moody's pleasure. It was, after all, the third time he had said it. The pleasure did not show on his face, however, as he merely grunted and ascended the waiting staircase.

After some time had passed, Moody arrived in the office that was Dumbledore's.

"Alastor! Care for a seat and an Acid Pop?"

"I'll take the seat, thank you." And so he did, settling into the comfortable chair Albus had conjured for him.

"Now then. To business." Dumbledore stopped, popping the treat into his mouth.

Moody suddenly realized exactly what his friend just ate. "Albus! I thought you said you wanted to talk to me?!" Yet said friend gave no reply, seeing as his tongue had a rather large hole burned through it. And then… a shrug, a wave of the hand.

Thump, and again, and again. Moody whirled, pointing his wand… at Rubeus Hagrid. So instead of the barrage of stunners he would have been hit with, Moody simply hit him with a set of charms to detect mental control, Polyjuice, and hostile intent. None, none, none.

"Ho, Hagrid. I don't suppose you know what our friend here called us here for? Because he himself is in no position to tell me…"

"Good ter see you, Alastor. I dunno what he called us for…"

Dumbledore smiled. It was not a good sort of smile, in Moody's opinion. No, this was the sort of smile that said "I have activated my trap!" It was a testament to Moody's skill that he was half through casting a stunner before the circle carved into the floor around him and Hagrid burst into flame.

The stunner shot through the air… the frigid, frosty, air. Moody looked around, realizing that he was no longer in Ablus' office. "Hagrid? Do you know where we are?"

"I don'." Hagrid almost continued speaking, but then another burst of flame expanded from the air, prompting a "Protego!" from Moody. It turned out to be unnecessary, based on how it didn't even melt the snow that surrounded them. When the flame cleared, several packs, topped with a note, were present among the snow.

"The bombardment of detection spells that followed made Moody's previous trio of spells against Hagrid look tame. After a few minutes, and a long stare with his magical eye, Moody grunted, grabbing the note, then read it.

"Dear Hagrid and Alastor. Harry Potter has been missing for several weeks now, and for much of that time I believed that the wards on his house had somehow failed and he had been removed by our enemies. But a week ago, it was finally discovered that Harry himself was the culprit, removed from 4 Privet Drive by a bout of unusually potent accidental magic. For his safety, and so that he could attend Hogwarts, I decided to send you both after him. Using a ritual boosted by Fawkes, I was able to transport you to his approximate location. When you have Harry with you, wrap the diamond-infused cord in the red pack around all three of your wrists, which will trigger the return function of the ritual. Best of luck, Albus Dumbledore. P.S., Hagrid, your pets are being cared for by your temporary replacement in your job, Arthur Weasley."

"Bah! Fine then.. but did he have to send us here without warning?" Moody turned to Hagrid, who simply pointed at the note. Moody looked at the note again. "P.P.S., it was funnier this way. Dammit Albus!"

From there, there was work to be done. A pair of Warming Charms kept the cold away… the relevant winter clothes in the packs were removed and worn… and "P.P.P.S., the compass is attuned to Harry and will always point to him."… and the journey began.

Some time later, it abruptly ended when the duo came to a frozen beach. "Now what, Hagrid? It's not as though we have a ship… CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" That helped Moody feel better. Hagrid, however, simply ignored it.

"I s'pose we'll have t' find one."

That "finding a ship" took quite some time, during which, thankfully, Hagrid and Moody never encountered Doctor Kureha. But eventually, the duo set forth on a merchant vessel heading for "Sandy Island", wherever that was. Thankfully, the ship was headed in the same direction that the magical compass pointed at.

Definitely not thankfully, it was not the best of trips.

Author's Notes:
And that's the epilogue. Next up: editing this story, plus writing the sequel(Freak and Monster in Paradise).

Responses to selected reviews:

Ender the multiverse detective: thanks.

PortgasDAnne01: Seeing as I'm not you, I have no idea why you got that image. But I got the exact same one. Longer chapters... well, I'm going to have more material to use in the sequel, so you'll get your longer chapters there. Maybe.

Anon: Wonderful tips, which I will likely use in the sequel. Thanks.

V: Not easily, that's for sure. It's still possible, though-by holding the dishes to be cleaned in his mace arm's elbow and then using his somewhat functional other hand for the cleaning and drying itself.