A/N: Greetings. It's been while and I apologise for being incompetent. Even though it would've been cool to write all about the annihilation of the Big Booty Bitches, I doubt I'd ever get to it. So you get this hasty cop out. My bad.

Orochimaru blinked, his focus adjusting until he came to the peculiar conclusion that he was in a type of ethereal garden. A bemused frown contorted his expression then, for he could not remember much up until this point. What happened?

There was something with a clan that referred to themselves as the Big Booty Bitches, he recalled. Frowning down at the luscious grass, he attempted to remember more than that. His attempt somewhat succeeded, as he remembered that this so called Big Booty Bitches clan had tried to steal… his wife?

Yes, he realised, his eyes widening recollection. Shun, his beloved big booty dragon darling.

"Yo, Orochin-chin." greeted a familiar voice; one that made him shiver in delight before he whirled around to find its owner. His gaze landed on her form immediately, finding her sitting on a boulder by a nearby lake of blinding sparkliness.

He almost shrieked with delight, flinging himself in her direction to embrace her wholly. Her startled yelp and instinctive kick to his stomach did nothing to dissuade him, and soon he was embracing her and straddling her at the same time. It was wondrous, and his body reacted with ecstasy.

Shun elicited various disturbed groans, pushing against him and even bucking him. However, when he moaned, she ceased immediately. It was a shame, but his darling is such a shy love baby. How he adored her.

"I have missed your touch." he whispered, his tone reverent as he readjusted to wrap his arms around her midsection and use her beautiful breasts as pillows. "Such joy, I feel. But where are we, I wonder? Is it a place where you and I may finally consummate our relationship like Adam and Eve?"

"Fuck off, yeah." Shun scoffed, her hand tangled in his hair and roughly pulling at it. It strained his scalp and he revelled in the pleasurable pain that would always exist because of her. "This is just some random ass place that the Higher Forces created. Now get off."

He opted to not listen. She secretly liked his touch, he was certain. "The Higher Forces want us together, then? I am immeasurably pleased." he responded, but it was vaguely muffled since he decided to bury his face into her breasts. The grip on his hair tightened even more, and he sighed in contentment. He loved her.

Shun's chest moved as she sucked in a deep breath to slowly exhale. The tenseness in her body abruptly disappeared, meaning that she had given in to his arousing touch.

"I hate the world." she muttered, sounding defeated. Perhaps it was true that the Higher Forces wanted them together, after all? "We're here because this is essentially some fucked up conclusion to our story, yeah. Like, I can barely remember what the fuck happened because they were lazy and decided to skip over everything. Pretty sure you just popped up out of fucking nowhere and murdered everyone. Then ate Sasori, which I think was kind of grossly sexual."

Orochimaru finally removed his face from her boobs to look at her face. It was neutral, until she looked upon his visage and it shifted into something of sheer disgust. He looked down, realising that he was drooling onto her breasts. Using his sleeves, he wiped it away whilst also masterfully fondling her assets with great appreciation.

"I do not understand what you mean." he returned, but he did notice that he felt strange and that his memories were extremely hazy.

He let her sit up, so now he was happily straddling her lap. She gave him a slow, displeased blink. He leaned in and licked the side of her face to cheer her up, which worked as she smacked the side of his head in response. He would like to have sexual intercourse with her now, but she needed to explain their circumstances.

"This is the end for us." Shun stated, frowning down at his erection like it was an offensive existence that was touching her. Truly, it meant that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. "Our story. Apparently, there's a new version of us in the works. Over there."

He turned to where she pointed, and Orochimaru blinked as he noticed two children standing not too far away. They stood together, their hands joined and the both of them smiling at one another. He recognised that one was him, though the other was less identifiable.

It was a beautiful child, with a strange allure that was very similar to his Shun. Her hair was longer, however, tied in a long braid that reached the back of her knees and glinted with strange trinkets woven within it. Her face wasn't entirely accessible from his angle, but her skin tone was the same as Shun's.

"It is you in a chequered yukata!" he exclaimed in clear excitement, clutching at her and pressing himself further into her. Shun gagged and her body shook. She must be overwhelmingly delighted by his own enchantment with the situation. "They are us!"

"Yeah…" Shun breathed, apparently in great pain. She gagged again. "It seems that I like you more there, and you're not as fucked up. Thank fuck, because no one needs another you as you are now. Christ."

Orochimaru gasped, before erupting in giggles. She already adored him, of course, so for this smaller version of her to like him even more? Stupendous, truly!

"They will be happy like us?" he questioned, watching as the children pressed their foreheads together. They looked harmonious; meant to be; like true soulmates. Just like himself and Shun!

Shun sounded as though she was trying not to hyperventilate. "Mm. They're cute and gross, so most likely. Now get off. It's time to go back."

"Can we have sexual intercourse when we return?" Orochimaru queried, as he reluctantly released her.

She blinked up at him, her hair dishevelled and her clothes wet from drool. "No."

Another time, then, he thought.

The End

A/N: Now Disgust of the Crack is officially completed. Again, sorry for the blatant lack of care for the conclusion of the story, but in a cracky way, it sort of fits. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Immortality with the Dragon Lady and make it marginally better, ha. Although not as NaNoWriMo challenge, because I clearly failed at that for 2017.

Thank you for having read this weird ass story. I hope it was entertaining in some way for you.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. It's never ogre.