Like the title. I am Lancer's hardcore fan, that's all to say. He has a Sacred Gear type Omega, which is considered as a 'counter' to the canon Sacred Gears type Alpha belonged to Issei and Vali, granting a power called 'Absolute Authority'.

Warning, again: Contain Fate and Final Fantasy elements. A crack fic where Cu is the strongest while he doesn't know about that. Bad grammar Will try to improve in the future. Very, very, very first fic.

~Day 1~

Hello everyone, the name's Cu Chulainn. Friends called me Lancer because of my Gae Bolg's, Gae Bulg's, whatever, fame. I was supposed to die in the 5th Holy Grail War as expected. Well, an old man, name's Zelretch or something, offered me a chance to, er, enjoy life more? What the hell was that? Anyway, as I accepted, he thrust his right hand to my heart, yep, literally. And everything went black. When I regained my consciousness, there was a nice black scar on where my heart should be. And guess what? From nowhere, a fucking giant dragon appeared in my mind and stated that I was a luckiest of the lucky to be the host of Kaiser or Czar or whatever he called himself –

[Heeeellooo, pitiful miserable piles of trashes. The king here is Czar, king of all legendary dragons. Fellow dragons call me with a respectful name: Kaiser Dragon. You trashes managed to knock me out cold with your fucking Ultima spell and forced me to fuse with this…rapist in blue suit]

Shut up, asshole. Ahem, anyway, that's our introduction. Now, let's enjoy my exciting story.

I was doing the daily job as P.E teacher in a co-ed school for rich kids in this Kuoh Town. It was not bad at all, except you had to watch out for the perverts who constantly tried to sneak into girl's changing room, especially the infamous Pervert Trio. I am not gay, I enjoyed woman's body like other healthy dudes but seriously, those three were just…freak. Truth to be told, I didn't know why the heck I got this job from the beginning, aside from what Zelretch implied before two of us departed.

"Ah Kuvar-sensei, the Student Council President requires your presence." A cute senior girl informed me. Man, that megane again. Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. For some reasons, I knew of her true identity and she acknowledged of my Servant's status, or at least she knew of my mythical origin. As I made my way to the Student Council, I greeted the two Onee-samas of Kuoh, or something like that. Those two were cute, definitely, but like Sona, they are not humans. Trust me, hell, even without the enhanced status of being a Servant, I could still see clearly the demonic auras from them.

"Kuvar Khulainn, I have been waiting for you" Sona Shitori, or Sitri, spoke, earning a nod from me. Standing beside her was Tsubaki Shinra, another beautiful demoness, or just devil as she put it. After a while for explanation, Sona suddenly sighed to catch breath.

"…In short, your cosplayer sister is coming and you say that I have to be the one to greet her first? You're her sister, why don't you do that?"

"Oh please, we have gone through this many times. Have you forgotten what happened if she ever detected my presence?" Sona said tiredly. I laughed slightly at that.

"Ah yes, the yuri-yuri route" I joked as shade of red appeared on Sona's cheeks. She sent a scold to me with a murmur, to my surprise, small enough for the Vice-President to hear. Hm, even my wolf-like level of hearing, interesting. Chuckling, I let Sona some minutes to recompose.

"And the final, Cu Chulainn. Reports said that there is a group of Fallen Angels wandering around this town. If possible, I'd like you to dispose of them."

"Is that so? And my reward?" I asked, showing my ferocious smirk to her. Sona calmly nodded. "Of course. Free payment for anything within two months. I have already transferred half to your account."

"Haha, nice to work with you, Sitri. Well then, please excuse me." I waved at them as I exited the office. Now I'm starting to like the life of a mercenary.

-Later that day-

Like Sona said, there were indeed Fallen Angels, or in my language, crows. There were four of them, three in the abandoned church, another was disguising as a normal girl and was on a date with Hyoudou Issei, one of the Pervert Trio. They acted like a normal couple until the crow lured him into the local park and said something like 'Will you die for me?' and killed the kid. Yep, that's my cue to appear.

"Oi you damn crow…"

"Who dares?!"

The crow retorted. I stepped out of the tree and greeted her with my trademark grin. My clothes switched to my Lancer outfit.

"Who? Your demise, maybe?" With a swift kick, I sent the Fallen Angel flying quite far away. The hell? When did I become this strong? Nah, put that aside, I went to the dying Issei. Woah, the kid was in a pretty bad shape, ya know, having his lungs gone and his heart pierced. I looked around and spotted two familiar girls: Rias Gremory and Akeno Himejime-err whatever, I hated Japanese names.

"Oi, no need to hide now. Come out here and talk, ok?" I said. Those two were a bit reluctantly before doing like I said. I started asking them about their reason for hiding like that. They answered that the perverted possessed a magical relic called Sacred Gear and Rias wanted to add him to her peerage, though I had no clue what the heck peerage was. After a while of chatting, I agreed to allow them to do whatever they wanted to Issei.

"How...How could a mere monkey beat me, the great Raynare, into a bloody mess like THIS?!" Oh, speaking kind of which, the crow was back and it seemed that my kick left quite a wound on her. She created a pink spear and lunged at me. Her face when I caught her spear barehanded and snapped it to half was hilarious.

"Well then, let me show you how to fight with a spear properly." I told her with a nasty grin on my face as Gae Bolg appeared on my hand.

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