I should have noticed. I should have known. Have I not really noticed? Was I always so dense?

All the signs were there. Some were unreadable. But most were clear as day. I should have noticed. I should have arrived at a logical conclusion. I am a logical person afterall, albeit not at the level of a Monster of Logic. But still, I could have made a logical conclusion. But I didn't.

Or more likely, I didn't allow myself to.

I kept denying it. I tried not to mind it thinking that if I think that it is nothing, then it will eventually become nothing. I downplayed the seriousness of the situation. In a way, I was running away from the reality of the it.

I know. Pretty illogical of me don't you think? When have I really been logical though? Maybe me talking about how much of a logical person I am is a lie brought upon by my subconscious, making my conscious believe that it's the truth. So huh, even though I appear to be an honest person to anyone else, I was lying to myself all this time.

…

I should have noticed. I should have known. But I chose not to. I chose to run from it. And now, I am suffering the consequences brought about my action… or inaction perhaps?

It is just another day at the service club. As usual, I am the first to arrive. I can't remember when that became the norm, but it's not like it's a troublesome thing. I guess that it's only appropriate too considering I am the club president. Well, not much I can do about it then.

I am now currently on my usual seat reading the book that I have decided to bring with me today. It's one of the many books from a mystery novel series centered on a reporter and his Siamese cats [1]. I have about ten more of the books from such series at home. I'd love to bring them all together with me but that would just be stupidly inefficient. Besides, it's not like I can read all of them in just one seating. Well I probably could, but where's the fun in that?

Unfortunately, the books were only published in English. Fortunately, my English is not too shabby. In fact, it's perfect. As to back that up, let me tell you that I am able to have a flowing conversation with an English-speaking person. Don't believe me? Well, I'll just have to prove it to you when the opportunity presents itself.

…

I wonder when I will able to have my own cat. It's not like I can't have one now. The apartment complex where I live at may be strict when it comes to pets, but one can always just pay a premium to be allowed to have pets in one's apartment. It's just that, I don't want to ask much more from my father. Giving me my apartment; allowing me to live independently… it'll be insensitive of me to ask more from him. And I can't possibly ask my mother for this. She didn't want me to live away from them afterall.

Besides, I don't know if I'm responsible enough to take care of the life of another living thing. Taking care of a cat may not be as heavy of a responsibility as of say, taking care of a dog, or another human being, but the fact still remains that you'll be responsible for another life. Am I capable enough for that? I think not. I couldn't even take full care of myself…

Well, I guess I have to settle with pet store cats and street cats for now. And also Kamakura-san. Which reminds me, I haven't seen him for a while now have I? I should pay him a visit. I bet he misses me. It's an unfortunate thing that he has Hikigaya-kun for a master. I bet that Hikigaya-kun does not take good care of him.

…

I'm kidding of course. Seeing how good his relationship is with Komachi-san, I have no doubt that he is very capable of taking care of Kamakura-san. And yeah, although I don't want to admit it, his dream of becoming a househusband may not really be a farfetched dream at all. He still has to get himself a wife though.

As I continue with my inner musings, thinking of just about anything really, the sound of the opening door can be heard. Ah, it seems that my clubmates have finally arrived.

"Yahallo!" greeted Yuigahama-san. I still don't know the real origin of the word. It cannot be found in any dictionaries nor encyclopedias. Maybe it is an amalgamation of two greetings, one being 'hello', and the other being 'ya'? In what language is 'ya' a greeting though?

"Yo." followed Hikigaya-kun with his usual unrefined greeting. And he did it with much less enthusiasm this time. Ara? Is his laziness reaching up to new heights? If so, I take back what I said about his dream of becoming a househusband. He really needs to work on that laziness of his if he wants to get himself a girlfriend even.

"Good afternoon Yuigahama-san, that thing over there." I greeted them back.

I've expected a comeback from Hikigaya-kun seeing that I have just playfully insulted him. But none came my way. I admit that that disappointed me a bit. One of the highlights of my daily life is when I spend time with these two wonderful people here in the club with me. That includes the times when I and Hikigaya-kun have our everday banter.

Maybe he didn't hear me? Or was there something off about him? Either way, I guess I'll just have to try again later. I have to take care of the tea first.

"I'll prepare the tea now then." I declared to the both of them.

"Oh, I'll prepare the cookies then." said Yuigahama-san as she went to her seat.

I went and grabbed the teapot and was about to go out the door so that I can fill it with water when something unusual greeted me. Hikigaya-kun is still standing there with a seemingly blank face. Something is definitely wrong with him.

"Hikigaya-kun, is something wrong?" I dared to ask him. I'm not sure if he'll answer me honestly though. That's just he always is. Always so guarded.

Even with all the time of being together, we only have been able to touch the very tip of our respective persons. None of us has really revealed much of our true selves to each other. And we have no one else to blame but ourselves. None of us had the initiative to open up more of oneself to another. Each one of us always waited for someone to pry the other for it. But none seem to have to the initiative to do that either.

In the end, even if we all agreed to search for the genuine thing, nothing much has changed between us. Our relationship with each other, though seemingly has improved, has remained stagnant ever since.

…

"Oh. Sorry about that. I was just about thinking about something yeah?" Finally responds Hikigaya-kun.

Hmm. Maybe this is the time for me to do something. I have long acknowledged that if I don't take action, nothing would happen. Our relationship with each other won't improve. And I don't want that. While I am relatively fine with how things are now, I cannot deny that having a much deeper relationship with these two people here with me is a better option.

"Is that so? Would you mind telling us about it?" and so I did it. The ball is in his hands now. Whether he feels the same way as me, I will finally know.

"…Well, I'll tell you someday. I don't really want to talk about it right now." Oh. That's… disappointing. It seems like he does not see me the same way I see him huh. Well atleast I know now. I know now where to place myself.

The disappointment that I've been feeling must have shown on my face because Hikigaya-kun quickly followed-up with, "Oi Yukinoshita, don't think too much of it. It's not like I don't want to tell you. It's just that, now is not an appropriate time to talk about it."

…

Oh my. I guess I was wrong afterall. That's pretty embarrassing. And pessimistic of me. Has spending time with the dead-fish eyes boy made me more pessimistic? Has the Hikki-virus finally defeated my immune system? I shudder at the thought.

I must have been deep within thoughts because when I came to, Hikigaya-kun was already physically close to me.

"Let me help you with that." he said as he tried to reach for the teapot.

Instinctively, I move the teapot away from him. It's not like I did that on purpose. My body just reacted on its own. It must be because of the sudden proximity we had just now. It is not because of Hikigaya-kun himself.

…

Oh wait, maybe he is at fault. Afterall, according to Yukino101: Always blame everything on Hikigaya-kun.

"I-its fine Hikigaya-kun. I only have to fill it up with water." I replied.

I expected for him to back out at that. Afterall, he is someone who has the motto If I don't have to do it, I won't. If I have to do it, I'll make it quick[2]… wait, why do I get the feeling that I'm talking about someone else?

"Then it shouldn't be too much of a problem if I do it right?" Hikigaya said, giving me a somewhat genuine smile. Uhmm that makes me slightly uncomfortable you know?

"…f-fine. Thank you." In the end, I caved in. There really is no point in arguing over this. It's just pouring water on a teapot for Christ's sake!

Besides, I cannot stand to be this to close to him any longer. For some reason, my heart is beating faster. I don't like the feeling of that. It's nauseating.

"Oh ho, is the great Yukinoshita Yukino really thanking me? The world must be ending soon!"

I growled at that. Now you have the gull to play with me? That's unfair of you Hikigaya-kun. Too unfair.

"Just go and get it done already Hikkirude-kun." I replied with a fierce tone.

He smirked at that and the replied "Yes ma'aam."

He then went out of to the room so that he can finally do the job that he has taken. I feel much more comfortable now. Who knew that being so close to him could be actually physically draining? I'd have to note that one down before I forget. Oh, looks like I already did. I wonder why I forgot though.

Without much else to do, I returned to my seat and grabbed the book that I left on the table. I was about to start again on my reading when I noticed the stare Yuigahama-san was giving me.

"Is there something wrong Yuigahama-san? Something on my face?" I asked her.

"Ah, n-no, it's nothing Yukinon. Sorry for staring at you like that. Ehe." Nothing? Let's take another page from Yukino101: when Yuigahama-san says 'it's nothing', it actually means 'there's something I want to tell you but I am not sure whether it is appropriate to tell you or not'.

"It's okay Yuigahama-san." I said to her.

She let out a sigh of relief at that. Oh no young lady, you're not off the hook yet.

"Although, I have this gnawing feeling that you want to tell me something." I said as I finished with a smirk.

Yuighama-san slightly jumped on her seat, and then scratched her head. Pretty much how someone would react if they were caught in the act.

"Go on Yuigahama-san. It's okay. I will listen." I prodded her.

Yuigahama-san let out an awkward 'Ehe' at that. She then formed fists of her hands, and did something that some would call 'psyching oneself up'. She then faced me and said,

"Ah well… it's just… Yukinon, don't you think Hikki has changed a bit?"

…

Well, I cannot deny it. Although not much has changed with Hikigaya-kun, what with him still being the same cynical pessimistic loner that he is, some things about him have certainly changed. What changes those are, I'll keep them from you for now.

"Is that so? Well, he still has those rotten eyes of his." I quipped.

"Well yeah, there's that. But really, like, he's not as anti-social as before. Like, at class, whenever someone approaches him, he doesn't give this 'GoAwayIDon'tWantToTalkToYouIhateYou' kind of aura anymore. It's like he's actually okay around people now."

…

I see. I am not able to witness that directly since, well, we're not classmates. But I do not doubt Yuigahama-san's word. Not one bit. She has always been like that to me, open and honest. Atleast, that's what I think. And based on his interactions that I get to witness, he does indeed appear to be more accepting of other people now. And I'm not just talking about Isshiki-san and Totsuka-san. I'm talking about everyone else, like Tobe-kun, Miura-san… Hayama-kun.

"Well, I guess that he really has changed a bit. I'm happy that our efforts were not in vain."

I really am. And to think that he once said that he won't ever change for anyone, I guess no one really could hold on to that kind of ideal. No matter how we want it or not, we will have to undergo change. No one is exempted from that. Not even the once immovable object... err, person that is Hikigaya Hachiman.

"Yukinon has changed a bit too."

I was a bit surprised at that. I am aware that I have changed, but as far as I know, they are subtle changes. Now, I acknowledge that Yuigahama-san is good at reading the mood. I wasn't aware that it comes with the ability to read people. Is Yuigahama-san telling the truth? Or is she just bluffing?

"…what do you mean by that?" I am genuinely curious.

"Well, you've become a bit more open. Before, you see other people as either someone who has some business with the service club, or someone you couldn't give a care about."

…

That... irritated me a bit. I know that Yuigahama-san didn't mean to offend me, but still, it's pretty insulting you know? I guess the truth does really hurt.

But yes, I have once been like that. I won't deny it. I have been someone who has closed her doors to other people. If they don't have any business with me or the service club, I wouldn't even acknowledge them.

Huh, Hikigaya-kun was right. I really needed to get down on my high horse. I am glad that I've followed that 'advice' of his.

"...I suppose that's true." I shamefully admitted.

Yuigahama-san nodded in agreement. She then continued,

"But now, you don't actually reject the idea of hanging out with other people. And by other people, that does not only include me and Hikki. By other people, I mean other people. That's why I think that you've become more open."

...

I suppose that that's true too. I have been hanging out with a lot of other people these past few days. Like the one time I went with Yuigahama-san, Miura-san, and Ebina-san on one of their outings. We went to a clothes store and tried some, well, clothes. It was a clothes store afterall. I have learned a lot that day. One must not only look at the quality of the materials. One must also look at the design and price... wait, I think I'm getting off-topic here.

On the topic of opening up to people, I guess I could site one more example: my relationship with Hayama-kun. We no longer have this impossibly high wall between us. I no longer feel any hostility whenever I deal with him. We are actually on speaking terms now. We're still far from how we were before yes, but atleast our relationship is a lot better than say, at the start of high school.

But the ultimate example that I can give would be my relationship with my two service club companions: Yuigahama Yui & Hikigaya Hachiman. And I guess I could include Hiratsuka-sensei and Ishhika-san there too. I would have never thought of ever having this kind relationship with other people. I mean, my supposed closest relationship, which is family, now has questionable foundation. Specifically my mother. My relationship with nee-san is admittedly a bit better though. But of course, we aren't as close as we should be.

…

Yuigahama Yui. We are practically polar opposites. I am aloof, she is sociable. I don't speak when I don't have to, she speaks whenever she can. I am smart, she is… let's just say that she's not book smart. I think she had the most influence in my change. Afterall, the people I've been hanging out lately are her friends first. And while I was uncomfortable of her invasion of my personal space before, now, it is actually something that I look forward to everyday. Having her hug me gives me a sense of security. And it's warm too. Perfect for cold weather.

Hikigaya Hachiman. It's funny how much has changed between us. He is no longer the boy that I was repulsed at. And I don't mean just his eyes. I was repulsed by his whole person. To the point where I once thought "Why would someone give birth to this person?". But now, I actually admire him. I admire him as a person. He always appears to be so strong; so trustworthy; so dependable. And my admiration for him only grew more when he bared to us his primal desire: his desire for the genuine.

I've never in a million years thought that I would be granted sight of the crying Hikigaya Hachiman. It broke my heart. I was so disillusioned and confused that I ran away from it. But I'm thankful that they went after me. It just goes to show that the bond that we have formed then isn't just superficial.

...

I guess I was wrong to think that my relationship with these two important people in my life hasn't improved since then. Fact is, we are closer than before. And although we have been tip-toeing around the edges for a while, I just know that with time, we'd be able to become genuine with each other. We will then finally be able to find that genuine thing that we three had agreed to go search for.

…

I smiled at Yuigahama-san and said "Well, you've changed a bit too Yuigahama-san."

Yuigahama-san returned me a smile and nodded once again.

I then followed up with "You do read more books nowadays. One is more than none right?"

"Oh. Thanks Yukinon… wait… Y-yukinon!"

The rest of our school year as second year high school students went like that: usual tea time at the club; Isshiki-san enters and causes some havoc; Isshiki-san drags Hikigaya-kun to do her bidding; Isshiki-san casually rejecting Hikigaya-kun's advances, even though it's fairly obvious that Hikigaya-kun does not see her that way; Ishhiki-san being the little brat she is, then I, along with Hikigaya-kun, will scold her; Isshiki-san trying to get Yuigahama-san on her side; Isshiki-san… I've been talking a lot about her now huh? At this rate, she should just make her membership of the club official. With all the time she's spending with us, she's practically a part of the club already. I wouldn't mind having her.

But as I've said, our school year as second year high school students has already ended. It is now the school break, and here I am at my apartment spending time with Yuigahama-san. We did this often too during the last days of the recent school year. And while I am no longer against the idea of hanging out with other people, I still prefer to do it with just Yuigahama-san alone. I'm more comfortable that way. Plus, I get to watch Pan-san at my apartment. And Yuigahama-san isn't against it, unlike a certain someone who is also a member of the service club.

"Ah Yukinon…"

"Yes Yuigahama-san?"

"Don't you think that Hikki has been spacing out a lot lately?"

Well yeah, I've noticed it too. But I think it's only a natural outcome. Afterall, he has been staying late at school, what with him joining in the student council meetings. Although we want to join together, we cannot abandon our clubroom just like that. What if a client comes in and there was no one in the room right? So in the end, it was only Hikigaya-kun who was able to join in. And I think that Isshiki-san prefers it that way too. For being so insistent on rejecting him, she sure is clingy with him. I've heard that she even forces Hikigaya-kun to walk, or rather, bike her home too whenever the student council meetings drag on late.

…

Well, I guess Hikagaya-kun being the gentleman he is will do just that anyway. Bike Isshiki-san home that is. And if I was there, I would command to him do so too. Isshiki-san is a cute young lady afterall. While Chiba is a relatively peaceful city, one cannot get rid of the fact there are still some evil elements lurking about. I wouldn't want anything to happen to Isshiki-san… Hikigaya-kun though…

"I think it's only the result of him being up so late a lot." I declared to Yuigahama-san my logical conclusion.

"…yeah."

... Somehow, even though Yuigahama-san has expressed her 'agreement', I can sense that she does not fully agree with my answer. What is making her doubt me?

"Is there something wrong Yuigahama-san? Is there something you know that I don't know about?"

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing Yukinon. It's just that, I feel that something is odd with Hikki. It's like he's sick or something."

Is that so? I already know that Yuigahama-san is better than me at reading people's moods. No, I've never really been that good at reading other people's moods, although I can read between the lines. But, even though I joke a lot about how I don't care about Hikigaya-kun, I really don't want anything bad to happen to him. I sincerely hope that Yuigahama-san is wrong this time.

"…let's just hope that what you're thinking isn't the truth."

"Yeah..."

We, Yuigahama and I, are in front of the door to the Hikigaya household. We both agreed to pay Hikigaya-kun a surprise visit. I was against it at first since it was a pretty rude thing to do. I mean, if I were in his place, I'd be irritated. But Yuigahama-san was so insistent. And we haven't seen Hikigaya-kun in a while, what with the school break and all. And he did not respond to any of our invites. Typical Hikigaya-kun.

And oh, it's about time to pay Kamakura-san a visit anyway. I've been postponing it for long, he might no longer welcome me. Oh Kamakura-san, please forgive your Yukino-chan for taking so long to see you. It's just that, I can't seem to find an opportunity to come and visit you.

…

Ahem. Anyway, I think it's time to knock on the door.

As Yuigahama-san knocked on the door, a muffled "Coming!" can be heard. From how it sounded, it should be from Komachi-san. Huh, is Hikigaya-kun really that lazy that he wouldn't open the door for us himself?

…

Oh wait, he does not know that we're paying him a visit right?

A few seconds after Komachi-san shouted her 'coming' the door opened, and as expected, it was Komachi-san who has greeted us.

"Oh, Yui-san, Yukino-san. Good afternoon!"

"Good afternoon Komachi-san."

"Yahallo Komachi-chan!"

After giving our greetings, Komachi-san then caught sight of the things I and Yuighama-san brought with us.

"We brought snacks!"

"O-oh! Let's bring them inside then. Please come in!"

"So, I guess you're here to see my onii-chan."

We are now at the living room of the Hikigaya household. Yuighama-san and I are seated on their large sofa, while Komachi-san is seated on the one-man sofa, cradling Kamakura-san on her lap. Oooh Kamakura-san, I want to do that too. Please forgive Yukino-chan already. Yukino-chan misses you.

"Y-yes."

"Yeah."

"Well, unfortunately, onii-chan is not around right now."

….

I see. That's disappointing.

Well, we did not tell him that we were planning to visit him so we shouldn't be mad at him for not being around. I guess our plan back-fired huh? But wait, Hikigaya-kun does not really go out does he? So why is he not around this time? I was about to ask Komachi-san that when Yuigahama-san beat me to it.

"Do you know when he'll be coming back?" Well, it's a different question technically, but the message is there.

"…sorry but no. I could really never know what time he'd go home when he's with onee-san."

Onee-san? Komachi has an older sister?

"Onee-san?"

Komachi-san almost dropped Kamakura-san at that. Thankfully, she didn't. I don't want Kamakura-san to be hurt afterall.

I guess she didn't mean to say that. That must mean that the onee-san she's referring to isn't really her onee-san. Maybe a close acquaintance of Hikigaya-kun? But as far as I know, we are the closest to him, after his family of course. And I guess we have Isshiki-san too.

"O-oh! Oops. What I meant to say is Iroha-san."

"Iroha-chan?"

…okay? Ah Komachi-san, that does not really clear our confusion. Why are you calling Isshiki-san 'onee-san'. Is it because you are actually blood related? She could be your cousin and still call her onee-san right?

"Komachi-san, is it okay if we ask why you're calling Isshiki-san 'onee-san'?"

"Y-yeah, please tell us Komachi-chan."

…

"W-well, these past weeks, she has been spending a lot of time at our house during the weekends. I first tried calling her Iroha-neesan as a way of teasing her, but it backfired. She insisted me on calling her onee-san. And that's why I call her that."

…

Well, Isshiki-san can really get persistent. That's how Hikigaya-kun gets always dragged by her in the first place. I suppose that Komachi-san isn't even immune to Ishhiki-san's bratinness. Not even if Komachi (who can get really bratty) herself. Huh, I now realize how powerful Isshiki-san can be. I guess she's really fit for the Student Council President position. Maybe I could take some lessons from her one of these days?

But wait.

If Isshiki-san is spending a lot of time here at his home, that must mean that they're dating at least right? If so, why haven't they just told us? It's not like it's a thing that they should be keeping right?

…

I feel kind of betrayed. And I'm not sure if it's because of the fact they haven't told us.

"Oh, but don't get me wrong. They are not going out or something. Well, that's what onii-chan says. And I trust him."
…

Oh.

I uh…

Well it was wrong of me to make such assumptions. Isn't bad to just jump to conclusions? You are such a bad girl Yukino-chan. That is why Kamakura-san does not want to be near you anymore.

…

Well, as with Komachi-san, I trust Hikigaya-kun too. I suppose that I'll just have to ask him the next time we meet.

The moment Komachi-chan cleared up our misunderstanding, Yuigahama-san let out a sigh of relief. And I felt the urge to do so too. But I suppressed it. That's because I really don't think it's appropriate to do so. I mean, I am not Hikigaya-kun's girlfriend. He is free to date any girl, or even boy (he is pining over Totsuka-san afterall, which I find disgusting; I am way cuter than him!) he wants. I couldn't care less. Hmpf!

…

Well, I really won't mind dating him though. I mean, we have such a good relationship now right? It wouldn't really be that troublesome if we decide to take if further.

"Actually there's something that I've been to tell you Yui-san, Yukino-san."

Oh, there's more? Is this about Hikigaya-kun still?

"I'm all ears Komachi-san."

"I am too Komachi-chan."

At our agreement, Komachi-san made a face of determination and nodded. She then started,

"I won't be attending my high school in Sobu High."

Oh.

That's disappointing. I honestly wanted to spend more time with Komachi-san. And being in the same high school can grant me that. I planned on recruiting her to our service club. And Taishi-kun too. They could have succeeded us when we finally graduate.

Although, I've heard from Hikigaya-kun that Komachi has passed our admission test. And he announced it with much gusto. Seriously, him and his sister-complex. But yeah, if Komachi-san is actually eligible for enrolment, why didn't she push through with it? Sobu High is known for its quality education.

"Why Komachi-chan? We could have spent our lunches together." Yuigahama-san asked with a pleading voice.

…

"Well, Taishi-kun didn't make it. And we promised each other that we'd be studying in the same high school. And there's also the issue of our relationship."

Hmm? The issue of their relationship? Did something happen to them?

"What do you mean Komachi-san?"

"Uhmm… you could say that we're going out."

…

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

"Does Hikigaya-kun know?"

"Oh, onii-chan knows. Taishi-kun worked hard to get his approval afterall. And after seeing him going through such trial, I just couldn't say no to him right?

…

"Yeah, I could just imagine the kinds of horror Taishi-kun has to go through just to get you sis-con brother to accept him."

"Y-yeah. But anyways, congrats Komachi-chan!"

"Yeah. Thanks Yukino-san, Yui-san."

…

We were then enveloped in a comfortable silence after that. That is, until Komachi-san grinned widely and said,

"Although I still wonder, when will onii-chan ever get a girlfriend? It would be nice if it's the either of you two, but I wouldn't mind onee-san too."

I felt my cheeks warming up at that.

I am now at the mall about to do some grocery shopping. I need to stock up on my food supply after the repeated hanging out with Yuigahama-san. Who knew that with her figure, she could eat so much? Is that her secret to having such good assets?

…

Stop thinking about it Yukino. Your body is fine. Didn't you say that it's not always about sizes? One must also consider the symmetry. And I guess the face too?

Aaaannnyywwaaayy, let's do some grocery shopping shall we?

I was about to enter the grocery when something… or rather, someone has caught my attention.

"Hikigaya-kun?" I greeted him.

"Oh, Yukinoshita. Yo."

…

What's up with him? Why is wearing something that is so not him?

"Pfft… Haha." I've tried to contain my laughter. I don't want to be rude. "Hahahahaha!" But I couldn't. He just looks so funny! Who would've thought that he'd be able to pull that off?

"Oi Yukinoshita, are you getting crazy or something?"

"Hahaha… What? I should be the one asking you that. Why are you wearing something that looks so stupid on you?" Oh my. I really have gone full rude-mode on.

"Oh. Right. This? I have brain cancer." What? That shouldn't be a laughing matter at all! And why is he saying it so casually?

"So the doctor cut it all off." He then 'lifted' the beanie he is wearing and was about to show what's underneath but he stopped halfway. He then closed his eyes and smirked.

"Gotcha."

…

…

…

What?! I was about to feel guilty because I made fun of him for it. But was he just lying about it? I couldn't confirm it because I was not able to see whether he still has his hair or not… well I could, but I don't want to. I don't want to touch him right now seeing how irritated I was at what he did. I don't think it was an appropriate joke you know?

…

Now I know how Hikigaya-kun feels whenever I jokingly insult him about his rotten eyes. I guess what goes around really does come around.

I'm still mad at him at though.

"What? Is the great Yukinoshita unable to recognize such a great joke?"

What great joke? It was awful! I was really worried just now you know?

"Hmpf. Hikkijerk-kun."

After expressing my distaste for his action, I hurriedly went inside the grocery store and grabbed a cart… well, I was supposed to when a hand grabbed one of my arms.

"W-wait Yukinoshita. I'm sorry. I was just joking. I still have my hair. I can show it to you."

…

"No, it's okay. You don't have to show it. Just continue looking stupid like that."

I then jerked my arm so that he'd let go. I then proceeded to do what I was previously supposed to do.

…

"Let me help you with that." Why are you following me? Are you stalking me, Hikkistalker-kun?

I did not respond to him. Did he think that I'll be able to forgive him just like that? And to think that we haven't seen each other for a while now. I actually missed him. But I regret that now.

…

"H-hey." I protested as he grabbed the cart that I was holding from me. Rude. Just rude. Can't you see that I'm ignoring you?!

…

Fine. Be like that. Act like my slave. It won't change the fact that you've made a horrible joke.

I just went and continue with my shopping, grabbing what items that I think I will need for the next days. But of course, I'm shopping with the thing now, but I could just ignore him. I didn't ask him for his help anyway.

…

"C'mon Yukinoshita. I'm really sorry."

…

"I'll treat you to tea or coffee?"

Ah. And you think bribing me would be a good idea?

…

"Please forgive me already. We haven't seen each other in a while now have we?"

…well yeah. We really haven't.

"I'd feel bad if we leave at bad terms."

…i-is that so? I guess that he really cared for me? Maybe he was just testing how deep he can go with his crude jokes with me? Maybe I am just over-reacting ne? Maybe it's okay if I forgive him now?

"Do I have to lick your feet just so you'd forgive me already?"

…

Gross. I don't want you licking my feet or any part of my body on that matter. Only Kamakura-san is allowed to do that.

"Fine. I'll take you on your offer of free tea."

"So, I've heard that you've been hanging out with Isshiki-san lately." I dared ask him. I've just remembered that I intended to confront him about it.

"Well yeah. What about it? You jealous?" What?! Why would I be je- preposterous! You can go date Isshiki-san all you want! I don't care! Idiot! Nicoompop! Hachiman!

"N-no you delusional creep! I just fear for Isshiki-san's chastity." I lied. I really was jealous. He has not spent much time with us afterall. And to think that he was with her all this time.

"R-right. That's the Yukinoshita Yukino I know." He said as he sipped from his cup of coffee, which has cream and lots of sugar in it. I still wonder how he could stomach such sweetness. I can't even imagine just how it would taste.

…

"Well, are you two going out or not?" I finally asked him.

He frowned at that.

"W-what? It's a serious question." I am genuinely curious. And Yuigahama-san is too.

"Why are you so interested in my love life all of sudden?" He asked.

…that made me wonder. Why am I suddenly interested in his romantic relationship? Is it because I've realized that I have feelings for him?

"But anyway, to answer your question: no, we're not dating. It's just her usual clinginess and persistence."

Oh. So Komachi-san really was telling the truth. Not that I didn't believe her though.

"Oh. I guess that Isshiki-san can really be like that huh?"

And with that, we minded our respective business, him reading a book… an English book mind you, which is pretty strange of him. But I do know that his English is not bad. If he tries to, he can even speak perfect English… well, as far as Japanese men go. It's a book with the title 'Tuesdays with Morrie' [3]. I still haven't read it but I've heard that it had good reviews. Maybe I could borrow it from him if he's done with it?

Well, I should concentrate on what I'm doing now. What am I doing you ask? Well, I'm looking at a picture book of cats. They just look so adorable, I just had to buy the book!

"So, how about you? You finally realize your great love for Yuigahama?" suddenly asked Hikigaya-kun.

What was that? Is he implying that I am gay? Preposterous! I am a perfectly beautiful straight woman! If I will it so, I can sway all types of men with just my charms!

"WHAT?! I don't have romantic feelings for her! I'll tell it right here, right now. I am straight."

"Ohoho, I'm straight too. Does that mean that I have chance with you?" He jokingly asks.

"W-well. Uhm…" Well yeah. A pretty big chance even. But I won't tell you that!

The school break has come to an end as today is the beginning of our last year in high school. As expected, I was not in the same class as my service club companions, but that's okay. We can always spend time together during club hours.

I proceeded to the room where my class was assigned to. I see a lot of familiar faces. It shouldn't be a surprise. We are a 'special' class afterall. Not much we can do with that.

The first half of the first day of school just went like usual. In between listening and jotting down notes, I thought of how this school year of us will turn out to be. Will my relationship with Yuighama-san and Hikigaya-kun deepen to the point that we'll be able to bare anything with each other? Will I be able to have a deeper understanding of the person called Hikigaya Hachiman? Will we able to finally grasp the genuine?

…

Those kept on repeating inside my head that I didn't notice that it was already lunchtime. I've only noticed it because of the sudden appearance of a peach-haired girl.

"Y-yukinon!" cries Yuigahama-san. It is like she is in a state of panic. Why would she be though?

"Yuigahama-san? What is it?" It is then that I have noticed that she is in tears. Why is she crying? Did something happen to her?

"It's… It's about Hikki. I can't find him anywhere! I noticed it this morning since I didn't see his name in any of the class listings. But I wasn't able to confirm it because classes were about to start. Then when lunch finally came, I've checked all the rooms, and then his usual lunch spot, and then our clubroom, but he wasn't anywhere! Yukinon, Hikki isn't anywhere!"

Yuigahama-san's outcry has managed to cause a commotion as those who chose to spend their lunches in the classroom have their attention at her, whispering about her. I know that Yuigahama-san doesn't mind, and I understand the cause of her frustration. We're talking about Hikigaya-kun possibly being unenrolled this school year afterall. But I really need to calm her down. We wouldn't be able to solve this predicament with a panicked mind.

"Yui-yuigahama-san, please calm down. We can still confirm this. We can ask Hiratsuka-sensei. I know that she knows something."

…

Yuigahama-san finally calmed at that.

"…A-alrgiht. L-let's go Yukinon. I'm really worried about Hikki."

"Well it's true. He's no longer enrolled here at Sobu High. Kid just went and transferred at the last minute. Didn't even talk to me about it."

And the thing that we feared to be true was confirmed. Hikigaya-kun has really not enrolled himself in Sobu High this school year.

"N-no sensei. There must be some kind of mistake. He can't transfer. No other school could stomach his rottenness. Maybe we-"

I've tried pleading. I've tried denying it. I know that it's pointless. I know that it won't do any good. But I just had to. I can't accept this! I just can't accept this! We had so much to do! We still have found the genuine thing that he asked to search for with him! I still haven't told him how grateful I was for him being always there for me! I still haven't told him my desire! I still… I still…

"Yukinoshita, please. Stop it. I've already checked it with the administration and it's true. He is no longer here."

No! I can't accept it! How could you Hikigaya-kun?! Why would you leave without telling us?

"Why sensei? Why didn't he tell us about it?"

Is it because he doesn't really care about us? Is it because I've been too harsh at him? Is it because the Hikigaya Hachiman he has been showing us isn't really him? Not the genuine Hikigaya Hachiman?

…

Why?

"I don't know. I really don't know. I've tried to contact him, but no dice. I mulled over the idea of going to his house, but I realized that I won't be able to get anything from that knowing that he should be attending school today too. Really, I'm sorry that I can't be of much help." Sensei had a look of guilt on her face when she was saying that. And I can also sense that she was trying her best to stay composed. I know that Hikigaya-kun has become someone special to her too. I know that she's hurt right now, same as I and Yuighama-san.

"H-hikki… why would you do this to us?"

Why indeed. And to think that we've been able to open up with each other.

…

"W-wait, Yuigahama-san, there is still one person we could ask!"

Someone who he was spending most of his school break with. Someone who he was mostly with during the last days of our previous school year. Someone persistent and clingy.

"Iroha-chan!" Yes Yuighama-san. We can still ask her! I can just tell that we'll be able to get our answers from her.

We, Yuigahama-san and I, nodded at each other. It seems that we are at the same page here. Good. We have to hurry up. Lunch time isn't an infinite resource.

I bowed at sensei and said, "Thank you sensei for atleast confirming it with us."

I then once look again at Yuigahama-san, and then at the exit. We then started our trek to our destination: Isshkiki Iroha's classroom.

"Hey Yukinoshita, Yuigahama. Tell me if you find out anything ok?"

I will sensei. And I assure that we'll find something out.

"Oh, Yukino-senpai, Yui-senpai; Yahallo!"

…

"Isshiki-san."

"Y-yes?"

I was about to ask her if we can borrow some of her time, but for some reason I am unable to. It is like the words are stuck at my throat, with no way of how to let them free. Why is this happening now? Now when I was just about to know the whole truth? Why? Yukino, please get ahold of yourself. You're stronger than this right? So please, please please please hang in there.

"Uh hey Iroha-chan, is it okay if we can borrow some of your time? We really need to talk to you about-"

"This is about senpai huh?"

…

So she really does know something. Thank god that I was able to think of her. Who knows what could have happened if I haven't?

"It's okay. I don't want to keep it from you anymore." Isshiki-san had a sad smile on her when she was saying that.

…

"But is it okay if we talk about it somewhere else? Somewhere more private? The clubroom perhaps?"

Isshiki-san narrated to us the whole truth. About the condition of Hikigaya-kun. About all the times that she spent with him. About how he really has some sort of an incurable disease. Its symptoms were first exposed to Isshiki-san when they were on their way to her home. And the times that they've spent together during school break, they spent most of those at the hospital, checking up on his condition.

…

And now, the real reason why he isn't enrolled here at Sobu High, and apparently any other school for that matter, is because he has decided to go to a faraway place. Away from it all. Away from us. If you'd ask me, it's like he ran away from us.

"I'm really sorry Yukino-senpai, Yui-senpai. I didn't mean to hide it from you." says Isshiki-san while in tears.

It's okay Isshiki-san. It's not your fault. You just happened to be there when he had one of his attacks.

"I don't even think that he intended to let me know! It just so happened that I was there when it happened to him!"

I just wish that it was me in your place. I could have been there with him. I could have taken care of him. I know that it is selfish and insensitive for me to think of this, but it's just how I feel.

"I've been really meaning to tell at least you two. You are the closest to him afterall. I admit that I sometimes get jealous of how much you two have already known him."

But still, you were the one who was there for him. No one can take that away from you. We were kept in the dark. He didn't tell us.

"It's just that, he asked me not to tell anybody. The way he did it, I just couldn't say no to him you know?"

… I know Isshiki-san. I know. I've already said that you are not the one at fault.

"So I agreed to him on the condition that I'll be the one who has to go with him whenever he needs to be checked up."

And I'm glad that you atleast were there for him. Who knows what could have happened if he was alone when he had one of his attacks?

"I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. I just couldn't do it anymore. The burden is just too much!"

…

I should have noticed. I should have known. All the signs were there. Some were unreadable. But most were clear as day. I should have noticed. I should have arrived at a logical conclusion. I could have just asked him. I could have gotten it from him. I could have pried him on it. I should have been the one who was there for him. I should have been the one who was with him whenever he goes out for a check-up. I should have been the one he confided his secret to. I should have been the one to witness how he ran away. I would have followed him. I would have gone with him. I should have been with him until now.

But it is too late. My realization is too late. We can no longer bring back the time. We can no longer bring him back.

We have already lost him.

"Hey Yukinoshita."

"…yes, Hikigaya-kun?"

"If I just suddenly disappeared, do you think everyone would notice?"

"…why are you suddenly asking me that?"

"Well, no reason really."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I don't think anyone else would notice."

"Is that so?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I guess that's that then."

"Y-yeah."

Chapter 1 - End

[1] Reference to the 'The Cat Who' novel series by Lilian Jackson Braun.

[2] Reference to Hyouka's Houtarou Oreki. This is actually his motto.

[3] Reference to the book by Mitch Albom. It is a non-fiction book. I won't say anything more about it since it has a pretty significant influence with the theme of this story.

A/N: Hello there! I know I know. I am a Yukinofag. Deal with it. No really, deal with it. Anyway, I have wanted to write this story idea for a long time now. Actually, I planned to write this one even before my first Oregairu Fic. It's just that, I didn't have enough content to able to consider it upload worthy so I didn't through with it. But now, some time has passed and I was able to come up with enough content for it. So yeah, here, a Yukino angst (?) fic? This will be a two-chapter fanfic. (It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it got longer than I've expected.)

After this, I promise to return on working on "Of Yellow Ribbons and Brown Eyes". I think it has received enough response so it should be safe to push through with it.