March 3, 2013

Dear Hikigaya Hachiman-kun,

It is almost a year since your disappearance. Today is the day of our high school graduation. Fortunately, no one that I know of from our batch had to stay longer in high school. What I mean to say is, we are all graduating together. That includes Tobe-kun, whom you always proclaim to be an idiot who will never ever graduate in high school. And yes, you don't have to worry about Yuigahama-san. She did great actually. She's actually third in rank in all humanities subjects. As I have always thought, she only needed a little push. Well, a lot rather than a little.

As expected, I am this graduating class' valedictorian. I've prepared a valedictory speech that is fitting for my experience here at Sobu High. And it included a lot of subtle expressions of my gratitude… to you. It is unfortunate though that you won't be able to hear it personally. But that's okay. I've made sure to keep a written copy hidden in a place where it can be preserved. If ever you decide to pay us a visit, tell me so I can read to you my valedictory speech. I'm sure that you'd find it enjoyable.

Graduation day is supposed to be a day for us to move forward. A day, an hour, a minute, or even a second after it will make us full-fledged members of society. That's what they say anyway. If you were still here, I just know that you'd disagree with them. You would say "Why do I have to follow society? Society can go fuck itself! I am my own man!". And then I will refute and reprimand you for your disgusting behavior. And then Yuigahama-san, and maybe along with Isshiki-san, will laugh at us. Then we'd both join them afterwards.

Graduation day is supposed to be day of moving on. But… But I still haven't moved on from you. Why did you do it Hikigaya-kun? How could you?! We could have worked it out together! And to think that we were just beginning to open up to each other. I was raring to show you my true self. I was raring for you to unlock the door to my most inner person: the Yukinoshita Yukino who is full of insecurities but has found solace in the people she has managed to become close to. I was raring to have a deeper meaningful relationship with you. I was raring to spend more time with you, both with the presence of others, and with just you alone. I was raring to confess my admiration of you, both as a person and as a man.

So how could you?!

August 8, 2014

Dear Hikigaya Hachiman-kun,

It is now more than two years since your disappearance. Firstly, I would like to apologize for my previous letter. I forgot to put my name and signature. That was pretty careless of me.

As you may have noticed the date, yes, I wrote this on your birthday. So here: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIKIGAYA HACHIMAN… come to think of it, we haven't been able to celebrate your birthday even once huh? Well it's not like you mind it though right? You've always said that birthdays are nothing special and shouldn't really be celebrated; that it is only a superficial way of making someone feel special; that being able to be born into this world is not really an achievement to be celebrated about.

I would have also agreed with you on that one too…. until you've decided to give both me and Yuigahama-san gifts on our birthday. And oh, I remember that you gave one to Ishhiki-san too. I know I know. You only bought them for us because, well, you accompanied each of us on our birthday gift shopping and found it appropriate that you should do so too. But that is only true for my birthday and Yuigahama-san's. For Isshiki-san, you did it on your own. For someone that says that he doesn't value birthdays, that was pretty hypocritical of you don't you think? Or maybe it's not really that you don't celebrate your birthday because you don't see it worth celebrating. Maybe it's because you just don't want anyone to be bothered by it. That seems to be the more plausible conclusion. You were stupidly selfless afterall.

Well enough about your birthday. I am sure that you want to hear some updates from me right? First, let's talk about Isshiki-san. You were right about her greatness. Ever since your disappearance, I have seen nothing but growth from her. She did her stint as student council president pretty well. In fact, the student body liked her so much, they requested for her to extend her term for another year. She respectfully declined though saying that she wants to concentrate on her studies. And concentrate on her studies she did. Get this, would you believe me if I say to you that she graduated as the Valedictorian of her batch? I know you would. You were the one who said that she had a beautiful future ahead of her. It's a good thing that even with those rotten eyes of yours, you are able to see the things that can truly shine.

She is currently studying at a university in Tokyo, which resulted to me being unable to tend to my duties as her 'pseudo-guardian' (I'm sorry for that). But we still communicate with each other. In fact, once every two months, we, along with Yuigahama-san (and sometimes Hayama-kun and his clique) meet up. Sometimes it's in Tokyo. Sometimes it's here in Chiba. Sometimes it's somewhere else. We used to do it more often, but since I have started my second year in Chiba University, I've become fairly busy, partly to my fault. See, I've decided that I would like to able to obtain my degree a year earlier. I'd tell you the reasons later.

And oh, since I've already mentioned Yuigahama-san, I'm proud to report to you that she has managed to become a dean's lister… for one semester that is. But hey, isn't that great? I've already told you that all she needed is a little push right? Maybe if you were still here, you would have managed to push her more, to the point that her becoming a dean's lister becomes the constant rather than a rare occurrence for her… if only you were here…

Well this letter is already getting long. That's it for now. Happy Birthday to You again. I would have sent you a gift but I don't know how to send it to you, since you know, I don't know where you are. If you could just give me a clue…

Yours,

Yukinoshita Yukino

March 7, 2015

Dear Hikigaya Hachiman-kun,

It is now almost three years ever since your disappearance. I will make this letter short and concise as much as possible. I still have to prepare myself. I wouldn't want to be late for this day's activity.

Today is a very special day. Not for me, but for someone else. Someone else who's special and dear to you. Someone who is very affectionate with you. Someone whom you have much affection for.

Today is Komachi's graduation day. And I, being her onee-san, couldn't possibly miss it. There is no valid excuse to miss such a special day for her. No matter how busy I am. I've vowed to become a proper onee-san to her afterall. A proper onee-san must always be present on her little sister's special moments.

If you were still here, I'm sure that you would have the widest grin on your face. That is until you realize that the day after, Komachi will become a full-fledged member of society. And then you will go again with one of your rants about society and the world in general. But that won't matter because Komachi has already planned her future for herself. See, she wants to become a doctor.

Now it should be general knowledge that an admission for a medical school is hard to come by. That's why she worked very hard for it. With our support (me, Yuigahama-san, Isshiki-san, your parents, and of course Taishi-kun), she was able to make it… barely. But that's good enough right? Now all she has to do is to do well in her studies once she finally starts her time in medical school.

Well I suppose that's it for now. I've already said that I'd have to make this short and concise right? Well it is indeed short. I'm just not sure if it is concise.

Yours,

Yukinoshita Yukino

January 5, 2016

Dear Hikigaya Hachiman-kun,

As the days of spring draw near, fields of snow start to give way to a beautiful glimpse of what's to come. Like a certain beauty who was once as cold as winter, I am now able to witness the warmth that she can give. And as with the coming of spring, the bud that was buried underneath all that snow now no longer hidden, I can already see a glimpse of the beautiful flower that she would bloom to be. Do those words look familiar to you? I wonder who or what was your inspiration when you wrote that. Would you please tell me?

I've just celebrated my 21st birthday a couple of days ago. You could say that I can be legally recognized as an adult anywhere. I was able to celebrate it with both my biological family, and my family by choice (you do know which family I mean right?) along with Yui-san and Isshiki-san. Some more friends greeted me on that day, namely Hayama-kun, Totsuka-san, Yumiko-san, Hina-san, and Kawasaki-san. Yes, I've made friends. Aren't you happy that I've granted more of your requests? Can I have my prize please now? I'd really to catch even just a glimpse of you again.

Anyway, one of the gifts I've received is from Komachi, but it wasn't really made by her. She found it in your room when she decided to do a thorough clean-up. I've always known that you're grasp of literature is nothing to scoff at. I just didn't know that you've written them down.

I could really sense your presence in your writing. While the earlier ones were mostly philosophical rants about anything under the sun, the later ones were… beautiful. Very very beautiful. I could really feel the love you've poured into those writings. It's criminal to keep them from the world.

If you don't mind, I'll be keeping them. And I also plan on having them published, but not anytime soon. I still want to enjoy the privilege of being the only one to witness the literary prowess of Hikigaya Hachiman. Just a little bit longer. It's okay for me to be selfish right? Afterall, it was just my birthday a few days ago.

In just a few more months, I will be graduating in college (yes, I did it. I am able to get my degree in just three years!). After that, I will finally be able to truly contribute to society. But first, I plan on repaying my family by taking over the company for a number of years… let's say three? Or four? Or five? I also want to give Nee-san the opportunity to do the things she really wants to do. I've been enjoying the freedom that she hasn't experienced for the past six years already. Three, four, or five years of serving my family shouldn't be that much compared to the time that Nee-san has served them.

I know that if you're still here, you would probably stop me. I just know it. You'd probably convince me not do this. That this is just unnecessarily selfless of me. But please, believe me when I say this: I am doing this of my own will; I am not influenced by mother or nee-san to do this; I am doing this because I want to. So please, don't be mad at me now okay?

Besides, it's not like our family business is shady and all. I am sure that I will learn a lot by working there. So please, don't me be mad okay?

Yours,

Yukinoshita Yukino.

P.S. And oh, if you are worried about Komachi, don't be. She is doing well with her studies. I guess that she really wants to become a doctor for her to be working so hard. Good for her right?

April 16, 2017

Dear Hikigaya Hachiman-kun,

Today is a special day for two people who are precious and dear to you. And no, if you notice the date, it definitely does not include me. I am referring to the once foxy kohai of yours, and to the once airheaded (she can still be sometimes nowadays) classmate and clubmate of yours. Yes, I am referring to Iroha-san, and Yui. We're actually celebrating three occasions today.

You see, just a few days ago, Yui and Iroha-san graduated from college. I know that their dates of graduation is unusual, them being a month later than when they should be. Some… national happenings has caused the delay. But it doesn't matter now right? What should matter is that they are finally able to graduate.

Yui was able to able to graduate as cum laude. What? Are you seriously doubting me? You do know that I do not lie right? Good. So back to Yui. Yes, she did it. And she worked hard for it. With what she had achieved, it shouldn't be really hard for her to find employment.

Iroha-san was able to graduate this year too. She did the same feat as I did: get her degree in three years. And she received numerous scholarship offers for a master's degree. Seriously, that girl has never stopped to impress me ever since. At this point, she might even be smarter than I am (and that's pretty hard to admit considering how competitive I am; you shouldn't take that one lightly).

And lastly, it is Iroha-san's birthday today. We've decided to celebrate the three occasions simultaneously this day to, well, save some time… and money too. But mostly it was because of me. You know how busy it could get running a company.

If you're still here, would you be celebrating Iroha-san's birthday with us too? Or would it be the same as the last time you've celebrated her birthday: just the two of you alone. Now when I think about it, you've really spoiled Iroha-san a lot. It wouldn't be a stretch to think that you'll be doing the same if you have a daughter of your own…

It's too bad that you won't be able to fulfill your dream of becoming a househusband huh? And I was secretly rooting for you to accomplish it.

…

I shouldn't think more of these things. I still have a day ahead of me. Is it okay if I leave it right here?

Yours,

Yukinoshita Yukino

June 18, 2018

Dear Hikigaya Hachiman-kun,

I am supposed to celebrate this special day with someone precious and dear to me… and to you too. But, due to circumstances, I can't. We couldn't. You see, just a few days ago Yui's mother decided to go back living abroad. And she planned to take Yui with her... Yui knew it all along. I was hurt that she didn't tell me sooner, but I then remembered you. I remembered the letter you wrote to me. I remembered how hard it was for you to break the news to us. So, in consideration of that, I forgave her. And I was thankful that I did. Because of that, our relationship didn't have to be in peril.

We've manage to maintain our communication, though due to how busy I was, the times that we can just 'hang out' are few in-between. But I firmly believe that we are still as close as we can be. In fact, I plan on spending a month-long vacation to where she's staying at. As to when it would happen, well, I still don't know. But I'll definitely have it. I promise.

As for Iroha-san, she is now one of my most trusted employees, to the point where I even delegate her as temporary head whenever I am out of the country (for business purposes mind you). And that's not because I'm close to her. It is because of her competence. In fact, when I finally resign from taking care of our business, I am seriously thinking of letting Iroha-san take over. Yeah I know that she's not really family per se, but I treat her like one already. All that it needs for her to take over is convincing my mother.

…

Let's stop talking about work for now. Let's talk about you. The book that I've published under your name. The one that includes almost all of the writings that I've once said is criminal to not let the world see (I've saved some that I deemed to be FOR MY EYES ONLY). It was received well by the community. They even asked for interviews with you. But well, since you are literally unreachable, that didn't happen.

If you're wondering about the proceeds of the sales, don't worry. They are going to a good cause. Half of it is funding Komachi's Education. The other half is funding a research study on a cure for the condition that you have, and other similar ones to it. So really, you don't have to worry.

What else is there to talk about?

…

Well, I still haven't fully moved on from you. And truthfully, that is one reason why I've decided to take over the family business. I thought that if I busy myself with work, I would be able to forget about you. Or rather, my feelings for you. How wrong I was though. I still am really not over you.

But it's fine now. I accept now that you will never ever be back. I am really trying my best to move on now. Just give me more time.

Yours,

Yukinoshita Yukino

August 7, 2019

Dear Hachiman,

I've finally managed to finish the book that you've given me. All I could say is that I should've read it sooner. If only I've read it seven years ago, I would have been able to move on from you sooner. But alas, we cannot turn back the time. And as they say, everything happens for a reason right?

It has been more than a little over seven years since your disappearance. You should have been declared legally dead by now. But your… our family decided to postpone the funeral ceremonies up until after you birthday this year. The dates are really not that faraway.

Tomorrow, we will be celebrating your birthday where you are still 'alive'. We made sure to make it as special as we could. Yui is even coming here just to celebrate it. So I hope that you'd be able to appreciate it. Even though if you won't be there. Even though you won't be able to celebrate it with us. I still hope that you'd appreciate it. I baked the cake for you afterall.

…

What am I doing? Why am I still writing this to you? None of it ever reached you right? It's all pointless right? Just like the feelings that I still have for you. They have never reached you… or have they?

…

Maybe it's time to really move on now. It's been seven years. SEVEN YEARS! Don't you see how much you have meant to me Hachiman? Well, you probably did. That's why you did what you did. But really, it's time to move on now. Haven't you requested me to live on? To live life without you? To move forward? To move on from you? I think that it's about time to grant you that request. I may have been seven years late, but better late than never right?

And I am going to start by saying that this will be my last letter to you.

Yours,

Yukino.

The Spring Buried Underneath the Snow – End

A/N: And for real this time.

So let me take this one out first before I forget it. If you are someone who has read a certain Hyouka fanfiction, the writing style may look familiar to you. It is influenced by Hyouka fanfic written by SlowQuotesQuill titled "Finifugal". If you're someone who likes Hyouka, I really recommend that you read it.

…

Ok. Now that's out of the way, let's talk about this story. The last chapter wasn't really where this should have ended. And it is not supposed to end like this either. I've actually written 2k more words of content after Hachiman's letter to Yukino, which narrates what happens 6 years after. Then Yukino coincidentally finds a lead to Hachiman's whereabouts, she meets him there, he doesn't recognize her blah blah blah Yukino stays for a week, they have sex, months later Yukino gives birth to a child with Hachiman as the father, then she raises the kid as a single parent. Then I've read it and said "FUCK! This isn't sad at all!' So I've deleted it and decided to just end it with Hachiman's letter.

Then this idea came to me last night. That there still something I can do to make this fic sadder than it should be. And so this chapter was made. I hope that it brought even more tears from you! BWAHAHA

Is it OOC? Well it should be. Too OOC? Now that I have argue with you.

But seriously, this is really the end for this story. I'll go back to working on my other fic now. diceWW out.

edit: polished the chapter. changed the error in dates (thanks guest for pointing it out)