The following evening...

Under the porch light, Stanford sat cross-legged in front of the door, scribbling into his red journal. He just put the finishing touches to the Plaidypus entry when someone spoke.

"Good evening."

Stanford stopped writing and looked up. In front of him were two long-haired women wearing cloaks. As they were standing in the darkness, away from the porch light, Stanford could only tell them apart by the color of their hair: the one on his left had light blond hair, while he assumed the one on his right was a brunette.

"Er—good evening, ladies," he said politely. Without looking away from the two women, Stanford marked the Plaidypus page and closed the journal before setting it down next to him. He stood up as the slender blond woman took a few steps forward. When the light hit her, Stanford saw that she was very pretty, with delicate features framing wide eyes of a startlingly vivid shade of purple.

"Pardon me, but is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket at home?" asked the blond woman in a soft voice.

Ford wondered if she could sense how he tensed when she stated his friend's full name.

"That depends," Ford replied in a polite, controlled tone. "May I know who's asking for him?"

"Oh, I do beg pardon!" she said, placing a white hand over her chest. "He has probably told you about our meeting, but we just met! My name is Vlada. My companion here is Verdana. And you are Stanford Filbrick Pines, a friend of Fiddleford's!"

When Vlada mentioned his full name, Ford's eyes widened.

As her name was spoken, the other woman stepped forward into the circle of light. Verdana had black hair and heavy-lidded dark eyes. She looked at Ford, then turned her head to sniff. Whatever she smelled made her scrunch up her aquiline nose.

"I smell garlic within this dwelling, Vlada," Verdana muttered. "But it is not enough to mask the scent of the second man inside."

"Oh, he's here!" said Vlada brightly. She turned to Ford and asked, "May we come in?"

Ford started clearing his throat. "Uh—I—uh, before I do that, might I ask what you want from my friend? He's become quite jittery since you bit him and left him those 'presents' to help with his anemia."

Vlada bit her lower lip and gave Verdana a nervous look. Ford was reminded of a nervous teenager with fangs. Verdana sighed at her companion and shook her head.

"I take it you did not explain to Fiddleford why you sent him presents?" Verdana speculated.

"Well…not completely. I was so excited to find one like Fiddleford that I—went ahead and started sending them to him." Vlada looked at Ford. "Did he like the cow?"

Now it was Ford's turn to be nervous. "He did actually. He was quite sad when Mr. Sprott arrived to claim her back."

"Oh…he didn't consume it?" Vlada actually looked hurt.

"He didn't," answered Ford. "Look, it's a messy business to—ah—prepare a cow for consumption, and we don't have the space, equipment, or the stomach to do that."

"Oh my," said Vlada, looking crestfallen. "I should have done the deed myself. Fiddleford would have enough meat to counteract the lack in his blood…"

"But why?" asked Ford, perplexed. "Why are you so invested in Fiddleford's blood?!"

"Vlada, dear, you must explain it to him now or we will stand here until dawn breaks," said Verdana reasonably.

Vlada sighed. "Very well," she muttered. To Ford, she said, "It has been a tradition for vampires to eliminate any human they encounter who has what we call 'bad blood'. It leaves a bad taste to us…"

"The period of 'Black Death' was especially lean times," Verdana murmured. Ford tried hard to keep his expression neutral.

"Oh yes, dear Verdana! That has been our way until a very enlightened vampire by the name of Count Halex Smirsch came up with a novel idea," continued Vlada excitedly. "Count Smirsch says that humans with 'bad blood' should be spared, not exterminated! He proposed that those humans, when discovered by a vampire, should be given a chance to be helped. In return, the newly cured human will help the vampire back by allowing the vampire to feed from them. It is a—how you say—win-win situation!"

"I introduced this concept to Vlada over sixty years ago," shared Verdana. "I had the privilege to meet Count Smirsch when he went on a worldwide tour to share this idea. Very few vampires were enamored of this bold new way of thinking."

"This is why I was so excited when I encountered Fiddleford!" said Vlada, smiling widely. "He is the first 'bad blood' human I met, and I immediately set out to help him before I had the chance to explain it to him! I had the feeling that he wasn't receptive to my assistance, so I reached out to Verdana here to help me."

The two women look at Ford.

"This is a very good opportunity for Fiddleford, don't you think?" Verdana purred.

"No I don't!" yelped Fiddleford from inside the house. The two women looked scandalized.

Verdana frowned. "What?"

"You heard him," Ford said calmly. He casually placed a hand to his hip and continued: "My friend is uninterested in your offered partnership." Ford started walking carefully backwards. "So, with that said, I'll be checking in for the ni—"

The rest of Ford's statement ended in a choking sound as Verdana swooped in on him and grabbed him in a headlock. Ford was forced to lean at the waist as the dark-haired woman pulled him away from the door. He grasped a slender wrist to try to free himself, but she wouldn't budge. Ford swallowed; she was hideously strong.

"Verdana, what are you doing?!" Vlada squeaked. "I mean, we agreed that you would have his friend, but only after…"

"Fiddleford does not know what he's missing out on," said Verdana coldly, tightening her hold on Ford's neck. "He must be persuaded. We mean well!"

Ford doubted that, particularly when she's choking off his air supply. He was about to pass out when the door slammed open and a bright blue light was focused on them. Verdana and Vlada screamed as Ford was released. He dropped to the ground, wheezing. As he gulped in some air, he registered the horrible sound and smell of burning flesh.

Ford looked up; Fiddleford was standing in the doorway, wearing his usual lei of garlic and looking as ferocious as he'd ever seen him. The lanky man aimed the large modified flashlight ahead of him, the battery of which was strapped to his chest.

"If ya want me, come and git me!" he roared.

Ford made the mistake of looking beside him; Verdana got the full blast of the UV light, and she looked horrible. Her face looked like it was seared over a hot flame.

"You wretch!" she screamed. "We're trying to help you and this is how you repay us?! I will rip you apart!"

"Verdana, no!" screamed Vlada as the other woman sprinted towards Fiddleford. Fiddleford, to Ford's surprise, grinned as he dashed into the house. Ford and Vlada could only watch as Verdana stepped across the doorway and froze. Ford blinked and saw that she turned into stone.

Vlada screamed as she ran off into the night.

Ford coughed and stood up on wobbly legs. He walked slowly back to the house, and realized that with Verdana's statue blocking the doorway, he needed to walk around to the kitchen door to get into the cabin.

"Stanford, are ya alright?" Fiddleford asked over Verdana's shoulder.

"I'm okay, Fidds," Ford replied hoarsely. "So this is what happens when a vampire enters the house without an invite."

"Freaky," said Fiddleford. He raised a finger and poked Verdana's face. There was a cracking sound and the statue crumbled into a heap of ash. The two men looked at the remains of the vampire for a moment.

Fiddleford sighed. "I'll go get the broom."

Ford stepped over the pile and clapped his friend's shoulder. "Thanks buddy."

"Honestly, Stanford, why'd you stay outside without any protection on ya?" Fiddleford chastised. In response, Ford reached under his tan trenchcoat and extracted what looked like a flare gun.

"I modified this to hold some special garlic rounds encased in glass," explained Ford. "Pretty neat, right? Too bad I didn't get the chance to use it."

Beyond the trees, Vlada looked sadly at them before she raised the hood of her cloak and vanished into the darkness. She never returned to bother Fiddleford again.