15/100

The Secret

I've been watching some old Holby episodes and I wasn't entirely content with the way Jonny found out about Jac's endometriosis because he didn't say much about it so I've written this as a prompt from Rosie Marcel Was Pregnant for 'Secrets'. Hope you like it!

"Hey, how come you didn't come round my place last night?" Jonny asked quietly as he leant on the nurses' station, behind which Jac was sat at a computer. Instead of getting a verbal response, she merely raised her eyebrows without taking her eyes off of the screen before she continued typing. "It would've been nice for you to let me know, I had cooked for two."

"You mean you'd ordered enough takeout food for two." She remarked.

"No, I cooked your favourite; spaghetti atterrati." He informed her.

"Well sorry but I was working late."

"Like you have been every day this week." He commented. "If you don't want to come round just say."

"It's just been a busy week. Maybe next week, okay?"

"Alright." He nodded reluctantly. "Here's your theatre list for today." He held out the tablet in front of him. She reached forward to retrieve the device but as she rose slightly from her seat, she grimaced and snatched it from him before she sat back into the swivelling chair so that she didn't have to stand any longer than she had to. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you yet?" He asked quietly.

"I'm fine." Jac sighed as she looked through her schedule for the rest of the day to see if it was just the usual or if there was anything worth getting excited about.

"I might not have gone to medical school but I know the basics about the menstrual cycle and it was only two weeks ago today that you ran out of theatre because of lower abdominal pains so don't tell me it's just 'period pains' again because I know that's not true." Jonny commented quietly.

"I was off work with severe food poisoning last week because of the cretins down in the café so excuse me for feeling a little under the weather."

"Don't lie to me. I know when you're not telling the truth and it'd be a little less insulting if you came up with a more believable story – you never eat from Pulses, you only ever get a coffee from there and even then, it's only if you haven't got time to stop in Costa." Jonny protested. "Jac you need to see a doctor."

"I am a doctor." She reminded him.

"You can't keep ignoring your own health. You tell your patients that every day – that they should've gone to their GP months ago – so why won't you take your own advice?" Jonny argued.

"I'll be in my office until my first theatre slot. If you need a doctor before then, page Mo."

"Page Mo for what?" Mo queried as she arrived at the nurses' station in her dark blue scrubs but without a response, Jac rose to her feet and stormed off towards her office. "What've you done now?" She asked her best friend as she sat down on the chair that Darwin's clinical lead had just left.

"She's unbelievably hypocritical and selfish. She's just impossible to talk to; I don't know why I keep trying with her." Jonny sighed as he leant on the side.

"Because you're turned on by her playing hard to get?" Mo grinned.

"This isn't funny Mo. I'm worried she might be really ill." He admitted.

"Abdominal pain again?" She guessed and he nodded. "You know she wasn't really off for two days last week because of food poisoning right?"

"I do, I just don't know what's actually wrong with her." He confessed. "Has she said anything to you?"

"It's not my place to say." Mo replied. She did indeed know the cause of her fellow consultant's suffering after a hypochondrial patient revealed it to her but she knew better than to spread it or she'd be kept out of all interesting cases for a very long time.

"So you do know? Mo, please just tell me." Jonny pleaded. "I'm really worried about her and whatever it is, she shouldn't be going through it by herself." He added and it was that last point that made Mo consider telling him – he was right that there was no way Jac should be having to handle both the physical and emotional consequences of a disease that potentially caused infertility.

"Right, I'll tell you but only if you promise me that you won't tell her you know. If she tells you, and I very much doubt that she will, then you've got to act like you had no idea because if she finds out you know, she'll know I told you. And I mean really promise because otherwise she'll never trust me again."

"I promise, Mo." Jonny said truthfully. Mo then looked around and waited until a passing-by colleague was out of ear shot before she leant closer to the Scotsman so she didn't have to talk quite so loudly.

"She's got endometriosis." She whispered.

"What's that?" He frowned.

"Look it up on the internet, I've got a ward round to do."

"Good news: Amanda Cooper has stabilised so you will be able to operate on her later today." Jonny announced as he entered the consultants' office with a steaming mug in his hand.

"Right okay. I'll probably have to move the second CABG to tomorrow then." Jac sighed as she put her pen down. "Can you send Ms Davies home and tell her to come back tomorrow?"

"Sure." He nodded. "Here you go." He smiled as he placed the strong coffee on her desk.

"What's this for?" She frowned.

"And I got you this too. It's your favourite if I remember rightly." He added as he took out a small bar of Bourneville chocolate and placed it next to the mug but he was still met with a confused face. "Well if you're going to keep using your time of the month as an excuse for these pains then I thought I'd better treat you like it is." Jonny informed her. "A couple of weeks ago, you said you needed coffee and chocolate." He reminded her.

"Oh right."

"Unless there's something else causing you all this pain?"

"Haven't you got bedpans to be emptying?"

"That's it. Change the subject and insult me. Because you know, that'll make you better won't it?" He said sarcastically before he left the office and took a deep breath. It was so frustrating that he knew what was wrong with her and yet she wouldn't tell him so he couldn't do his best to make her feel better. How else could he get her to reveal it without getting his best friend into trouble?

"We've had an emergency admission." Mo declared as she entered the room where Jac was washing her hands after performing successful surgery. She had removed the surgical gown but still had her scrub cap on under which her long auburn hair was tied back in a bun.

"And you're telling me because…?"

"Because it's Colette Barnes." Mo stated simply and Jac then let out a groan in exasperation.

"What is she saying is wrong with her today?"

"Palpitations, shortness of breath and she says she collapsed at home."

"Well you can deal with it can't you?"

"I can, I just thought I'd let you know that Jonny's helping out on the case and I didn't know if maybe you wanted him far away from her seeing as she knows about your… condition."

"Well I can't take him off it with no apparent reason, can I? It'll make him suspicious." Jac protested. "I'll take the case so I can keep an eye on her and her big mouth." She rolled her eyes.

"How're you feeling now?" Jonny asked Colette as he took her obs and filled in the form in her file on the desk over the end of her bed. She was in the bay that overlooked the main nurses' station on Darwin and was watching the auburn doctor type away on the computer several metres in front of her.

"I can still feel palpitations."

"That's funny because the heart monitor doesn't show anything." Jonny said suspiciously as he looked at the screen beside the gurney showing a usual heart rhythm. Everyone on Darwin, and on Keller too, was aware of Collette as she was a frequent visitor to the hospital. They all knew she was a hypochondriac but they could do nothing about it because if they ignored her supposed heart complaint and then something did happen to her, they would be open to a lawsuit.

"Well I could feel them a few minutes ago, not at the moment Nurse Maconie." She replied. "Ms Naylor?" Colette called out.

"What?" The irritated consultant snapped as she looked up from the computer monitor in front of her. After a few moments passed without hearing a reply, she got to her feet and stormed over to the most infuriating hypochondriac she had ever met – and she had met many of them throughout her career. "Well?"

"I was just wondering what the plan of action is to deal with my serious heart complaint." Colette stated.

"That's funny considering you've had," she paused to look in her file quickly "four 'serious heart complaints' within the past eighteen months." Jac huffed. "Surely if they were serious, you wouldn't still be here bothering me because you'd be dead."

"I'm sure a woman of your maturity has had years of experience in the medical profession and therefore you should know that serious diseases can be long-lasting even if they are life-threatening."

"Do you want me to page Mo to take over?" Jonny asked his colleague who he recognised as becoming more and more agitated with every minute that she had to deal with this patient.

"I think that would be wise." Colette interjected.

"I am more than capable of declaring that there's naff all wrong with your heart and that you are free to go so get off of my ward." Jac ordered.

"She's not fit to make that decision." Colette informed the Scottish nurse. "She's got endometriosis." She declared. During the short moment that Jac realised what her patient had just done, she glared into Colette's eyes with a look of pure hatred but when she felt Jonny's eyes on her, she looked down at the file in front of her to ensure she didn't make eye contact with the man who she was sure would pity her. "I'd like another doctor." Colette announced.

"And I'm going to say this one more time: get off of my ward and stop wasting my time. If you're not gone within the hour, I'll call security to escort you off of the premises." Jac growled before she slammed the file shut and swiftly exited the bay.

"Excuse me." Jonny said to Colette before he rushed after the woman he loved. "Jac–"

"I don't want to hear it."

"You don't know what I'm going to say." He laughed as she put in the pin code to unlock her office door before she slid inside. "Oh no you don't." Jonny quickly put his foot in the way to prevent her from slamming the door in his face. Thankfully his trainers had pretty sturdy soles so he wasn't injured and he calmly slipped into the room and closed the door behind him to give the couple some privacy. "I assume what she said is true then." He said, knowing he didn't want to accept the news straight away or he'd get Mo in trouble. "Jac please talk to me." He whispered as he crouched down next to her chair, holding the desk with one hand to keep him steady.

"What's there to talk about?" She sighed.

"I'd like to know why it's been so important to keep this a secret from me that you've had to lie to me. Were you scared I'd leave you because infertility is a possibility?"

"No I…"

"What is it then? Jac, you can tell me." He pleaded.

"If it was a different problem then maybe I would've told you but–"

"But what? Because it's to do with your periods you don't want to talk about it? Jac I'm a nurse I deal with them on an almost daily basis– well, not me personally but you know what I mean."

"I didn't say that embarrassment was the problem." She sighed. "Look there's nothing you can do to ease my pain. But I know that if I'd have told you, you'd try and 'comfort' me, try to make me feel better, tell me everything's alright. Well it's not alright. It's absolutely agonising and heating up a tin of chicken soup or having a lie down as you so helpfully suggested when I said it was period pains doesn't help one bit." She explained.

"You want me to just treat you like normal, I get that. I really do." Jonny said eagerly. He put the hand that wasn't hold onto her desk on her thigh and gave it a small squeeze. "So why won't you come around to my flat? Is it because you can't hide the pain?" He guessed. She didn't reply, she just continued staring into her lap at his hand so he presumed the answer was yes. "Well now that I know you can come to my place tonight – we'll stop by your place to grab an overnight bag – and then we'll argue about what to watch on TV." He stated but she raised an eyebrow at him. "What? If you don't want any sympathy, I'm not going to let you watch your bloody medical documentaries without a fight." He smirked as he pulled himself to his feet.

"I'm not watching another minute of that stupid Scottish show you like." She said adamantly.

"Case Histories is a good show!" Jonny protested as she pushed her chair back and got up.

"It's not up for discussion because it's clear that everything made in Scotland, including you, is crap. We either watch what I want or I'm not going to your terrible excuse of a flat tonight." She threatened.

"Nice. Insult my race and my home." He said sarcastically as he followed her out the door.

As he'd expected, Jonny Maconie ended up sitting on the sofa spending the evening watching a documentary about oesophageal stents. Whilst it was part of his job to know about the technology he would be dealing with in theatre, he had no interest in spending his Friday night watching surgery when he had spent most of his day doing that so instead he discreetly attempted to observe his partner's behaviour. And it didn't take long before he realised why she didn't come around the night before – it was clear when she experienced pain because it was so intense she couldn't hide it. Whether there was a small grimace on her face or her fist clenched so tightly that her fingers turned white and red.

"What is your treatment plan for the endometriosis?" Jonny asked. "And no, I'm not being nosey; I've got an idea."

"I've tried hot water bottles, hot baths, different types of teas–" She sighed but she was soon interrupted.

"Jac, just answer me please. I'm not going to suggest anything that you refer to as herbal mumbo jumbo. What's your medical treatment plan?" He requested sternly.

"I've been put on the pill." She said eventually. "They can't prescribe me stronger painkillers until I've been on it for three months to give it a chance to work."

"That's ridiculous."

"Well that's the National Health Service for you." She said sarcastically.

"Well I thought of something a moment ago: I have got a prescription for Diclofenac for my migraines." He said casually and Jac looked at him as she remember the time she cared for him one day when he was incredibly dizzy and ended up throwing up into a washing-up bowl because he couldn't get to his feet to go to the bathroom. He rarely had migraines but when he did, they were horrific. "You could always take my tablets until you get prescribed something stronger." He suggested.

"That's not a bad idea." She nodded.

"Do you want one now? It might help you sleep a bit better."

"Yes please." She replied and he knew she was trying to hide the desperation for something that would soon relief her intermittent pain. He grabbed the brown bottle from a kitchen cupboard along with a glass of water before he handed them to her and watched her briefly read the label before she swallowed one orange tablet with a sip of water. Clearly she had become accustomed to taking medication because she did it in mere milliseconds.

"Glad you told me now?"

"Well I didn't tell you but… you didn't react as bad as I thought you would."

"Is that your idea of an apology?" He smirked.

"I haven't done anything wrong." She protested.

"No of course not." He mused. "Right, I have seen far too many ruptured oesophaguses today." He stated as he turned the TV off.

"The plural of oesophagus is oesophagi." Jac corrected him.

"Just go and get into bed you moody cow." Jonny ordered as he stood up from the sofa. "Wow, I can literally feel your eyes burning into the back of my skull right now." He quipped as he left the room.

"Call me a moody cow one more time and I'll put you in theatre with Dr Sterling all day tomorrow."

"Not that guy. He is so condescending to everyone around him."

"He's only a locum, he'll be gone in a few weeks."

"Whereas you will be there to be condescending for years to come my dear." He kissed her on the cheek on the way to the bedroom and she rolled her eyes before she paused in the doorway.

"Still not got a new bed?"

"There's nothing wrong with this bed."

"No, there's nothing wrong with a spring protruding into my head, my shoulder blade, my back and my leg."

"The bed was fine until you started sleeping over."

"So you're saying I broke your bed?"

"I'm saying your actions broke the bed." He laughed.

"Just shut up and sleep."

"Love you too darling."