AN: The lovely Shiranai Atsune requested this from me and gave me three bullet points to fit into a single oneshot: 1) Nino finds out Marinette is Ladybug and becomes her "helper", aiding her in many ways such as keeping her secret; 2) Nino soon inherits the Turtle Miraculous from Master Fu; 3) can you add some way/s in which Adrien/Cat Noir gets jealous?

...Well, I tried.

Shiranai, it may not be what you expected, but I hope you enjoy it, nonetheless!

He can't take it anymore.

In his defense, he lasted a grand total of fourteen hours, which, in Nino's oh-so-humble opinion, is way more than any sane person had a right to last after discovering what he discovered.

Fourteen hours ago, he was perfectly okay to shrug off what he just saw. He told himself he'd be chill. Totally, one-hundred-percent chill.

So what if one of his closest friends transforms into an ass-kicking, red-spandexed superheroine on a near-daily basis to defeat magical-butterfly-infected villains? So what if he stumbled upon a secret he never meant to? It was cool. Totally, one-hundred-percent cool. He was cool. Totally.

Thirteen hours ago, he lied on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Ignorance truly is bliss, he thought. Never had he associated so closely with the overused idiom until that moment.

Twelve hours ago, he decided he was no where near chill or cool and thus tried to forcibly brainwash himself into believing he hadn't seen what he thought he saw. It was a valued secret, one that he had no right to know. Why should he acknowledge that he knew it? That's right: because he didn't know it. Of course he didn't.

(Mari kept it a secret for a reason, after all).

Nino wasn't stupid. He knew how dangerous it was to know Ladybug's identity. Not only for him and everyone he associated with but for her and her partner as well.

And that was the problem, wasn't it?

Eleven hours ago, he found himself pacing, fear constricting his chest and threatening to send him into a full panic. He had tried not to think about it. Mari obviously knew what she was doing, right? She had to. She was Ladybug.

(Fuck. Marinette was Ladybug).

Ten hours ago, he realized he'd been refreshing his newsfeed obsessively since he discovered Ladybug's identity. Growling in frustration, he eventually tossed his phone aside and snuck onto the family computer to scour every last inch of the Internet, hoping beyond hope he wouldn't read that his friend's body had been found in a gutter or something.

Because no amount of pep-talking could prevent the horrifying truth from taking root in his mind. Marinette—his friend—was Ladybug, and she was in danger. All. The. Time.

(But she had Chat Noir too, didn't she? She wasn't alone. She wasn't…)

Eight hours ago, he finally dared to wonder, God. Holy shit. Who else knows?

(No. Nope. He didn't want to think about that either).

Seven hours ago, he started pouring over Alya's posts on the Ladyblog, and he came to the inevitable conclusion no one else knew. Not even Chat himself knew.

What the hell? Nino had school in about two hours, he hadn't slept, and he was somehow the only one who knew Marinette Dupain-Cheng risked her life every day for the sake of Paris. And he couldn't tell her he knew. He couldn't.

(Could he?)

Five hours ago, Nino decided no, he most certainly couldn't. After chugging a Red Bull, walking to school in a zombie-like trance, and running straight into Marinette and Alya, who teased him about pulling what they assumed was an intense video-game-filled all-nighter, he only stared. Stared at the girl he thought he knew.

Thank goodness for Adrien. His bro walked up right at the moment his staring was beginning to become noticeably awkward, effectively distracting Marinette.

Watching her stammer through a conversation with Adrien was nothing new, but Nino found it eye-opening and beyond weird. This was Ladybug, crushing so hard on his best friend she could hardly function.

Yeah, this was fucking weird. He'd given it enough thought throughout the course of the night to conclude they were all morons for having never guessed that Marinette was Ladybug, but maybe he was being harsh. With her cheeks blazing red and her mouth moving faster than her brain, he could see exactly why everyone was still oblivious.

Damn.

(He pretended he didn't notice Mari giving him a concerned look as they entered their classroom.)

The next five hours…were torture, and he just can't take it anymore.

He sits in front of Ladybug the entire morning, his resolve faltering with every tick of the clock, and when the bell rings, he thinks, fuck it. Who the hell decided he couldn't talk to her? She's his friend, she's alone, and she has saved his life more than once. And has she received thanks for it? Certainly not from him, and that's not okay.

He needs to talk to her. Now. Right now. He needs to do something.

Nino shoots out of his seat. Ignoring Adrien's perplexed stare, he asks, "Mari?"

Marinette blinks at him before smiling. "What's up?"

He chokes. He hasn't thought of an excuse to get her alone, and his horror mounts as her brow begins to furrow, her gaze piercing through his very soul. She exchanges a look with Alya, who doesn't look nearly concerned as she does suspicious.

"Nino?" Mari asks.

"I...um..." Nino very carefully avoids his maybe-girlfriend's narrow-eyed gaze and dances out of the way when Adrien attempts to jab him in the side, a blatant sign that even Mr. Sheltered-And-Socially-Stunted knows he's acting strange.

Marinette doesn't seem too uncomfortable with Nino's awkwardness. Instead, her smile broadens, eyes glimmering mischievously. Stepping down from her seat, she giggles and says, "Ohhhh, I see." Lowering her voice and making obvious eye contact with Alya, she mock-whispers, "Someone's birthday is coming up, isn't it?"

Nino watches Alya's face twist into a strange expression, and he's not sure if the look she's giving him and Mari is a good thing or a bad thing. Understandably, he has no idea what is going on. "Ah..."

Taking ahold of his hand, Marinette tugs him along and waggles her fingers in Alya and Adrien's direction. "We'll be right back," she says. "Wait up for us? We've got some conspiring to do."

"Mari, don't you—!" Alya attempts to say.

"Bye!" Marinette sing-songs over the rest of her best friend's threat.

As he's pulled from the classroom, Nino manages to overhear Adrien tease, "I'm wounded, Alya. How come I didn't know your birthday was coming up?" before the door swings shut, and Marinette is leading him toward the music wing of school, which is usually unoccupied during this time of the day.

"Marinette?" Nino asks. "I'm confused. Alya's birthday isn't for another month."

"Oh, I know," she says cheerily, pushing open the band room's door and taking a look around. As expected, it is empty. "But she hates surprises, and it's fun to mess with her."

"...okay? I still don't..."

Smirking, Mari takes a seat in one of the many chairs cluttering the room and gestures for him to do the same. "I know getting her birthday gift isn't what you want to talk about, but how do you think it makes her feel to know you're thinking about it a whole month in advance?"

It takes him a moment, but when he realizes what she's done for him, his jaw drops. "Damn, girl!" he exclaims. "You know...you're probably the best wingman a guy could ask for."

Marinette winks. "If you need any hints about what to get her, let me know. But that's not why I got you alone." Her sunny smile falters, and she looks him up and down. "It's just...you've been acting off today, and it didn't look like you wanted an audience back there. Are you okay? I mean, really okay? Did something happen?"

Her questions remind Nino that yes, something did happen approximately fourteen hours ago, and he stares again, trying to fit his tumbling thoughts and emotions into a cohesive sentence. Any sentence. Mari waits patiently, and Nino stops struggling with his words to just...appreciate this chick. She's so compassionate, so intuitive and accepting, so willing to drop everything for her friends. She understands people in a way Nino can hardly comprehend, supporting and comforting them in the very way they need her to. She's always had a sixth sense for that kind of stuff, and he dreads to ask himself how many times he's taken that for granted in the past.

He's lucky to have her in his life. They all are.

"How do you do it?" he blurts.

Mari cocks her head. "Do what?"

"It," Nino emphasizes, waving his hand around ineffectively. "All of it."

"Now I'm confused," she says. "What's going on, Nino?

Nino fiddles at his headphones and lowers his gaze. "I know you're Ladybug, Mari."

His voice is nearly inaudible, even to himself, and it sounds insane saying it aloud. Marinette scooches nearer to him. "You're mumbling, Nino," she scolds good-naturedly.

With a sigh and a half-hearted eye roll—it's an off day if Mari doesn't tell him off for mumbling—Nino looks up from the floor and repeats, as slowly and articulately as he can, "I know you're Ladybug."

He almost feels bad for mocking her because this time, she's definitely heard him. Violently jolting away, she gasps, eyes wide with fear and face draining of color. For a brief instant, fear is replaced with fire, her expression guarded and severe. Before he can blink, however, she's recovered, a false and disbelieving smile starting to grow on her face.

She's about to deny it, to play it off as though he's crazy, as though he didn't see what he thought he saw, and he remembers wishing, some hours ago, that he could have remained ignorant. Vaguely, he realizes this is his chance. If he allows her to pull an excuse, he knows he'll play along. He'll drop it, if only so that she won't look at him like that again—like he's about to eat her whole, ruin her life, and kill off her family all in one go.

No. He can't let her do it. He lasted fourteen hours. Any more would kill him.

"I saw you," Nino says before she can utter a single word, "last night. I saw Ladybug swing down into the alleyway near home...and then you walked out, talking to your...little bug thing."

Mari flinches, and the excuses die from her lips. All of her inner fire is gone as well, leaving nothing behind but a terrified Marinette, who draws herself inward, looking as though she wants nothing more than to be invisible. "Nino, please..." she begs.

"Shut up for a second," Nino interrupts. Mari purses her lips, fingers curling over the edge of her seat. She leans forward, tense and poised to haul ass if necessary. "I'm not going to tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about," he continues. "Honestly, I was hoping to just...move on with life, nod and say 'okay, Mari's Ladybug, and that's cool,' but then I spent fourteen hours dying. Literally, Mari. It was the hardest fourteen hours of my life."

Any other time, Mari would have called him melodramatic, and he knows it's true. He doesn't expect her shoulders to rise to her ears, and with one look at her crestfallen face, he realizes he's fucked up somehow. Maybe making jokes, even if he's the butt of them, is a little too much right now.

"No!" Nino exclaims, hands fluttering. He's not sure if she'll let him touch her, so he continues to flounder uselessly. "No, no, I'm sorry! Whatever you're thinking right now, I'm sure it's totally wrong, dude! Seriously. I'm not...I'm just..."

His hands fall to his sides. "Look, Mari...I just...I just realized you're in this alone. You do so much for this city, and everyone loves you for what you do, but no one knows it's you under the mask."

"...what?" she breathes, peeking up at him from under her bangs. Shit. Her eyes are glistening, her face a little splotchy. Christ, he's awful. He's truly awful. Who is he even, making the girl behind Ladybug's mask cry? Chat would probably have his head on a spike if he were here now.

And Alya...He doesn't even want to think about what Alya'd do if she ever found out he made Mari cry.

This time, he doesn't care if she'll flinch away from him. He puts a hand on her shoulder, and when she doesn't stiffen or reject him, he pulls her into a side-long hug. He waits until her tense muscles loosen under his embrace before saying, "I really couldn't sit by and hide the fact I knew your identity. I owe it to you to be honest about it, and more than that, you deserve a thank you. So...thanks, Mari. Thank you."

Instantly, Nino feels lighter and happier and just all-around better. The past fourteen hours of anxiety erased, he sits back and sighs. "There. That's all I have to say."

It's Marinette's turn to stare at him, and her incredulous expression confirms everything. He knows the truth, and she knows he knows. There's nothing to lie about now. "That's...that's it?"

Nino thinks about it for a moment and then nods. "Yeah, dude."

"You—you don't...?" Marinette stammers. "You don't have any questions? You're just going to...leave it at that?"

"Well...yeah," Nino says, feeling a little awkward. "I won't deny I'm curious, but I don't think it's right to grill you. I'm not so sure I want to know any more than I have to. This is 'your rodeo,' after all. If you want to tell me something, if you need help with a cover story, I'm totally your man, but everything else isn't for me to know, you know?"

"So..." Mari says incredulously. "You...only wanted to thank me. And let me know you knew? That's what kept you up all night? That's what was bothering you all day?"

Nino snorts. "I guess? I think the realization you and Chat are absolutely insane kept me up a good part of the night, too."

Mari barks a weak laugh and fiddles at her purse strap. "Don't compare me to that tomcat."

"Because you're nothing alike?" Nino quirks an eyebrow and smirks. "If you say so."

Laughing more freely, Mari punches his shoulder and tackles him with a hug, catching him off guard. "Thank you, Nino. Thank you, thank you!" She withdraws and wipes her face. "I'm not sure Chat or Alya would understand, and they're my best friends. You do, though. I can't…" She squeezes him again. "You're a better friend than I deserve. Truly."

That's exceptionally high praise coming from her, and he's not sure he deserves it. Before he can say anything about it, however, there's an abrupt knock on the door. Alya pops her head in and calls, "There you guys are! You ready to go? I think our hypoglycemic cinnamon roll is about to pass out if he doesn't get food in him soon."

Adrien must have protested because Alya, propping the door open with her foot, turns back toward the hallway to say, "Those guttural beast noises your stomach's making really aren't normal, love."

Nino snickers and stands up, shouldering his pack and shaking his head. Beside him, Marinette jumps out of her seat. The prospect of eating lunch as a group has rejuvenated her, the joyful aura unique to her and her alone returning with a vengeance. There's a bright smile in her voice when she responds, "Yeah! We'll be right there, Al!"

Alya waves, and the door closes, leaving Marinette and Nino alone once more. Mari doesn't look like she's going to return to their conversation, and as she takes a step forward, he remembers there actually is one question he's nearly forgotten to ask.

"Hey, Mari," Nino says.

Bluebell eyes swing back toward him. "Hm?"

"I meant what I said, you know. Every word. If you need me, I'll be there. No questions asked. But...Promise me you'll be careful? Or at least try to be?"

Mari's eyes soften, and she smiles. "I promise."

~...~

Nino digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, a low groan of pain building in his chest. It's released as a whine as he exhales, struggling to control his breathing. His senses are ablaze, garbled voices and screams echoing in his ears. Fireworks of light and whirls of color explode behind his eyes with every movement, and another sharp whine escapes his lips. "Fuuuuuuuck," Nino whimpers.

"Master warned you," a sage-like voice reprimands. Nino pries his eyes open to glare at the annoying little turtle-bug, who flits around Nino's head like the unhelpful little ass he is. "You should not have transformed until well after you finished your training."

"They needed help," Nino hisses.

"You were curious," Wayzz corrects. "You were impatient."

Nino is in no state to argue. "Fine. Maybe I was. Meditating and learning all this stuff is cool, but I couldn't just sit—" Another wave of nauseating pain hits him, and he moans, curling into a ball. A motherfucking load of information, which he's supposed to be learning incrementally and chronologically during his daily meditations, flashes through his mind, and he's left quaking and sweating until it passes. When it does, he removes his hands from his ears and blinks his eyes open. "This sucks."

"You do realize Master Fu and I chose you because you understand the power of truth? Because you know how to control your curiosity?"

"You only tell me every day," Nino grumbles. "Sometimes multiple times a day."

"Because I had hoped you would continue to see how important it is to retain those characteristics." Wayzz loses the lecturing tone and sounds almost fond when he adds, "It's important that my Guardians are patient, that they take their time learning the History of the Miraculous. Otherwise…well, the magical whiplash has driven some of the Guardians to the brink of insanity."

"Ugh." Nino screws his eyes shut again and wishes, with all his heart, for sweet relief. "Shut up."

Why me? Why doesn't Marinette deal with this shit? he wonders.

He's doesn't realize he actually said it aloud until Wayzz sighs, lying a green paw on his charge's forehead. Some of the throbbing ebbs, but it's not nearly enough. "There is still much for you to learn."

"Sure there is, but Ladybug was down," Nino defends himself. "Chat was caught in that gross goop. I had to help."

"You were not ready."

"They needed help, Wayzz."

"You must learn to trust them to do the right thing, Nino. You are not built to fight as they do. That is not your purpose."

Well, that's not going to stop him. "I will not be the first Turtle to go out onto the battlefield," Nino mutters.

"Hm. We'll see. If you continue making dumb choices..."

Nino grits his teeth. The kwami's voice is suddenly much louder than necessary, and the room spins. Shadows morph in his mind's eye, and now that he recognizes the warning signs, he braces himself. "Wasn't dumb."

"It will take some time before your mind finds a balance again," Wayzz says flatly. "You will suffer from the whiplash for a few hours more. It would have been longer if you'd spent any more time in your other form and even longer still if you hadn't already accepted a good portion of the History already. You are very lucky."

He doesn't feel very lucky. Nino snorts and cringes, riding out the expected wave of pain from his overloaded senses. He almost wants to ask Wayzz how much of these jumbled snapshots he'll actually remember, but he's not sure he wants to know.

Pfffftt. And there's the mentality that got him in this miraculous mess in the first place. Ha. Miraculous. Adrien would be proud of him for that pun.

"Was it worth it?" Wayzz asks.

Nino winces. As a complete newb, he wasn't exactly helpful to Ladybug and Chat Noir tonight, but he did provide an embarrassing and obnoxious distraction that allowed them to recover and defeat the villain. Marinate was grateful, but Chat eyed him with caution and distrust, hissing only one word in defense when Ladybug told him off for being rude: Volpina.

There's obviously some history there, but Nino didn't ask. He doesn't need to. He'll know eventually. Learning the most current Ladybug and Chat Noir's history is the very last thing he'll meditate on before he can officially call himself this generation's Guardian.

"Of course it was worth it," Nino says aloud. "I might have made a fool out of myself, but she's my friend...and Chat will be too, once I get..."

He freezes, a half-shadowed and distorted image popping into his head. It must have come from the whiplash at some point because it's messy and hardly as clear cut as the stuff he already has forever memorized. In fact, it's more a feeling, a suspicion tying pieces he's seen in the past hour, as well as coincidences he's noticed over the past year, into a disorienting string of revelation.

After learning about some of the other Holders from years past, Nino thinks he's already seen quite a bit of idiocy, but this takes the fucking cake. Nino doesn't care how much pain he'll cause himself for moving: he rolls right over and moans into his pillow. How in the world has this become his life?

"Nino?" Wayzz asks, settling on his shoulder and tugging at his ear.

Nino picks his face up off the pillow. "Chat's already my friend, isn't he?" Without waiting for an answer, he face plants back down and grumbles, "Freaking idiots. Both of them."

~...~

Despite the stink-eye Chat gave him the day before, Nino is far less nervous about approaching Adrien than he was Marinette. He assumes it's because he's just about done with these mind-blowing revelations. Maybe he's just done, period.

Whatever. All he knows is both his bro and Mari are making life hella harder than it needs to be. As far as Nino's aware, the past Ladybugs and Black Cats—hell, any and all of the Holders—had an easier time of it whenever their identities were known to each other. Those statistics varied depending on age, age difference, and time period, but overall, those who started off as young as Marinette and Adrien benefitted beyond doubt.

Beyond these obvious deductions, Nino refuses to think about the fact Marinette is crushing on Chat Noir's secret identity and Chat Noir is crushing on Mari's superhero one. It makes him want to simultaneously laugh, cry, and scream into the air. Or maybe just shove them into a closet somewhere and lock the door.

It isn't his place to go and force them to see sense, much in the same way it isn't his place to reveal their identities to each other, but that doesn't mean he can't even the playing field. Maybe even…help things along.

Which is exactly what he intends to do.

After the bell rings for lunch, Nino waits until Marinette and Alya are halfway out the door before he says, "Yo, Adrien. You free for lunch?"

Adrien smiles brightly, and Nino is momentarily disarmed. It was harder for Nino to merge Adrien and Chat Noir than it was for him to associate Ladybug and Marinette, but it's moments like this he sees it as clear as day. It isn't often Nino sees this side of Adrien: the excitable and downright playful ball of energy and sunshine he sees before him now is often tempered by a strict upbringing and a constant need to portray a certain image for his father. That Adrien is polite and reserved and far more uncertain than he should be. Nino hates it—he's always hated it—and he is actually very glad that, of all people, it's Adrien who holds the Cat Miraculous. No one deserves it more than he does.

"Yeah!" Adrien exclaims. "I have the rest of the day off, actually. And better yet, the entire weekend's free, and Father's in London until Monday! Nathalie's practically told me I can do whatever I want so long as I don't do anything illegal or dangerous, so..."

Eyes widening, Nino's jaw drops. For as long as he's known the guy, he's neverhad a full weekend free. "No way, dude. You're serious?"

"Dead serious! You wanna come over tonight and try to beat one of the Zelda games by tomorrow morning? We can totally do it."

"Hell yes!" Nino says automatically. Who cares if he spent most of the night writhing in pain because of magical whiplash? He'll nap this afternoon, and he'll do whatever he can to take advantage of this glorious opportunity. "Majora's Mask, you think?"

"Un-mask-takably the best of the series!"

Adrien's smirk grows into a diabolical grin as Nino progresses from unamused disbelief to absolute disgust at the pun. "Oh my God," he groans. "That really was awful, dude."

Adrien's poor kwami. How does he even deal with this on a daily basis? Actually...Nino pauses and thinks back to Wayzz's description of the kwami of destruction. Looking at Adrien's smug expression now, he supposes Plagg is more the type to encourage such behavior. In which case...Adrien and Plagg are probably more well-suited for each other than he originally thought.

Suddenly, he realizes where his thoughts have traveled, and he nearly trips over himself. Unbelievable. When had thinking about this stuff become so commonplace?

Laughing, Adrien pushes open the classroom door, and Nino is drawn back into the present. "It sounds like a plan, Nino."

"Yes!" Nino fist-pumps and slings an arm around Adrien. "I'll fix us up with all the goods: soft drinks, junk food...maybe Mari can pitch in a little something, too!"

Adrien lights up, and ducking under Nino's arm and dancing out of reach, he says, "You are the literal best."

"Hey, man, the least I can do is smuggle in some real food for the starving model."

"I'm not starving," Adrien denies, pretending to sound offended. The effect is totally ruined by his broad grin. As they head out of the school, there's a bounce in his step that makes him look far more like a puppy than the cat he's supposed to be.

The joke is on the tip of Nino's tongue...and he catches himself only because Wayzz chooses to shift in his jacket pocket at that very moment, reminding him he hasn't even talked to Adrien yet.

What a way to reveal he knows Adrien is Chat Noir. If he hadn't bit his tongue, he would have probably given the kid a heart attack.

"Hey," Nino says. "Do you mind if we head to your place for lunch, too?"

Adrien cocks his head and begins looking around the school grounds. "You don't want to hang out with Mari and Alya today?"

"Nah. Didn't you hear them earlier? They've got a date with the rest of the girls or something."

"Oh." For a moment, Adrien looks a little disappointed, and Nino quirks a brow, an impish smile working its way onto his lips. He'll most certainly have to investigate what that means later, when they're in the middle of a Zelda boss battle or something...when Adrien's defenses are down and there's nothing stopping him from letting something slip.

Adrien, none the wiser to Nino's plans, perks up and says, "We'll have to hang out with them on Saturday or Sunday, then. Wait..." Adrien pulls up short and gives Nino a strange look. "Why are we going to my place for lunch again? Why not stop by that café you like so much?"

"Oh, um..." Nino rubs the back of his neck. "I have to talk to you about something, and it's kinda…personal, so..."

Adrien's green eyes scan him, and Nino is thrown into a violent bout of déjà vu. "Alright," the blond says eventually, a curious glint in his eye. If he's suspicious or worried about Nino's seriousness, he doesn't show it. Instead, he smiles easily, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "We'll have to walk. I convinced Gorilla to take the day off."

"The hell? How'd you manage that?"

The kid gives him a downright cat-like grin and launches into a story involving low-key espionage, bribery, and guilt-tripping that lasts them the entire walk to the Agreste Mansion.

Once they enter, they run straight to the kitchen and fix themselves some sandwiches before stopping to say hello to Nathalie and going up to Adrien's room.

Adrien eats as he walks. Munching on his second sandwich and closing the door behind him, he swallows, spins his desk chair around, and says casually, "So what's up?"

"Oh, right." Nino picks at the crust on his sandwich. "It's a long story, and I...don't want you to freak out."

Adrien's expression morphs into one of concern, and he sets his plate down to give Nino his undivided attention. Straddling his desk chair, he rests his arms across the back. "Should I freak out?"

"I don't think so?" He remembers Marinette's reaction and flinches. "I mean...I hope not?"

Adrien looks at him unblinkingly. "This must be serious."

"I guess? I just don't exactly know where to start."

"Would it be cliché of me to say 'start from the beginning?'"

Nino's lips twitch into a smile. "Well...I guess the beginning would be when I accidentally discovered Ladybug's identity."

Nothing could have prepared him for Adrien's reaction. His friend's expression shifts from disbelief to envy to hurt to incredulousness before finally settling on fierce protectiveness. His eyes glint harshly, hard and clear as ice. His eyebrows pull together, and if he was in his other form, Nino is sure his tail would be lashing around like mad. He might have even hissed. Everything about his stiff posture screams "you better not touch her," and Nino realizes he's fucked up again.

He has to remember he's not only talking to Adrien: he's talking to Chat Noir. And not just any Chat Noir. Nino has seen enough of the History to know Adrien and Marinette have a very special and very strong bond. Not every Ladybug and Black Cat has taken their partnership to such heights of trust and camaraderie as Adrien and Marinette have. And that's with their identities still secret.

Oh, shit. Shiiiiit. Their identities are still unknown to each other. He can't keep forgetting that, either, or Marinette's going to kill him. Slowly and painfully. If she doesn't kill him instantly, then at the very least she'll never forgive him for giving Chat Noir even the smallest clue about her identity.

This must be why Master Fu doesn't meddle, Nino decides. This right here. This has the potential to get very messy very fast.

It's already getting messy, judging by Adrien's reaction. A mask of surprise and confusion, sculpted with the utmost care, settles on his bro's face. "What?" he asks, his tone perfectly controlled.

"Um...maybe the beginning wasn't the best place to start after all," Nino backtracks. "Maybe I should start at the end? Or maybe even the middle?"

Adrien shakes his head. "Oh, no, I think we're okay with staying at the beginning." He purses his lips and twists in place on his spinny chair. "You haven't told anyone, have you?"

"Of course not," Nino says. "What do you take me for?" Adrien visibly relaxes, but his entire body goes rigid when Nino adds, "I did tell her I knew, though."

Adrien may be the most expressive person Nino has ever met, but his father has him taking acting lessons for his modeling gigs, for Christ's sake, and he's good. This time, however, Adrien's mask is not as fixed as he probably would prefer. He falters, a strange mixture of jealousy, curiosity, and longing flashing across his face. He leans forward, and it looks as though he wants nothing more than to ask...

He catches himself, and for a moment, he looks panicked. Whatever internal debate he's having is resolved in a split second, and without warning, he explodes out of his chairand asks excitedly, "Well? You can't just leave me hanging like that! What's she like?"

Nino is disoriented for a moment before he realizes he's completely forgotten how much of a Ladybug fangirl Adrien is. How…?

Oh. God bless. Maybe Nino won't go transforming very often once he finishes his meditations. He'll never be able to keep his identities straight or come up with clever truths to cover other truths or whatever the hell Adrien's just done to cover his ass. He'll never be able to do what Mari and Adrien do.

Ah, well, that's a worry for another day. Nino has bigger fish to fry. Or perhaps more aptly: he has more cats to let out of the bag, and he knows he can have a little more fun with this revelation.

"Why are you asking me?" Nino asks slyly. "You'd know best, wouldn't you?"

Adrien's enthusiasm dies like the flame of a blown out candle, and he studies Nino, a question in his eyes. Nino simply smiles, and after another moment of staring, Adrien's grin returns in full force, a bright bark of laughter escaping his lips.

"Thank God!" he exclaims. "You've figured it out!" Still beaming manically, he opens his over-shirt and calls, "Plagg! You can come out, if you'd like!"

The black kwami doesn't zoom out like Nino expects. Instead, Plagg floats lazily out of the white material, grumbling and muttering, "Alright, alright, not so loud, kid." He yawns and gives Nino a half-lidded glance. "Hey there, Nino. Where's Wayzz?"

"You know my name?" Nino asks stupidly, but his question is drowned out by Adrien, who simultaneously blurts out, "What? Wayzz?"

With a sheepish smile, Nino pats his pocket, and as Wayzz flies into the open and Adrien's jaw drops to the floor, he says, "Right. Um…Adrien, I'm sure you've met Wayzz. Wayzz, you know Adrien, of course." When his friend doesn't respond to Wayzz's bow, Nino clears his throat. "So yeah. That's…that's the story right there. Ladybug, Wayzz, you. In that order."

"This…" Adrien runs a hand through his hair. "This is…"

"Insane, right?" Nino chuckles. "Surprise?"

Adrien gives him a strange look. It's the face he makes whenever he's working through a tough physics problem and is starting to connect the dots between concepts taught in class and the math required to answer the question, and Nino knows what that means. He shuts up, waiting for Adrien to reach his own conclusions.

Adrien's eyes suddenly blow wide open. "Oh my God, I was a complete dick to you yesterday!"

…What the hell?

"That's all you have to say? Really?" Nino asks, and for the first time, he understands why Mari reacted the way she did when he talked to her about Ladybug a few weeks ago.

Plagg, suddenly wide awake, cackles and does loop-de-loops around Adrien's head. "Nice going, nimrod."

"Shut up, Plagg," Adrien says offhandedly, swatting at his kwami like he would a gnat. He turns back to Nino, his expression earnest and apologetic. "Nino, man, I'm sorry. I was out of line yesterday, but…if you're the next Guardian—which is so wicked cool, I can't even begin to describe how exciting this—!"

"Focus," Plagg hisses in Adrien's ear.

"Right. Focusing." He takes a breath to calm himself, but even still, he's buzzing with energy. "Since you're the new Guardian, I'm sure you understand we can't be too careful. I mean…we've let our guards down before, and it didn't turn out too well. When Lila was akumatized, My Lady was—"

"Wait. Hold on. You call her 'My Lady?'" Nino interrupts incredulously.

When Adrien's face blazes scarlet, Nino bursts into hysterics. Meeting his and Adrien's kwami's eyes, Wayzz gives him his trademark flat look, paired with an understanding eye roll, which only incites Nino's humor further. Plagg, for his part, grins wickedly at Nino, and he feels so sorry for Adrien. For Marinette too. Neither of them are never, ever going to hear the end of this. "Dude."

"I take it back," Adrien mutters, his face still a delightful shade of red. "It's definitely not cool that you're in on this now."

"Aw, c'mon, don't be like that, dude," Nino says between snickers. "I'm sorry." Adrien's half-hearted glare tickles him pink, and he starts laughing again. "No, no, I'm not sorry. I lied. Please, please, tell me Ladybug has cute pet names for you, too. Please."

A pillow slams into Nino's face, knocking him backward onto the couch. He's crying with laughter at this point, and he barely manages to choke out something to the effect of "foul play, foul play!" before he senses another pillow zipping his way. Nino rolls up, avoiding Adrien's second pillow, and shoots the first right on back. His aim is true, and it nails Adrien in the gut.

"You realize you just confirmed it, don't you?" Nino says as he struggles to catch his breath. "This is gold. Pure gold. I can hardly wait to see how this plays out."

When Adrien's head cocks curiously, a vacant sort of expression settling on his face, Nino stops laughing abruptly and clamps his teeth over his tongue.

"See what play out?" Adrien asks slowly, innocently.

"Oh, um…"

Adrien's lips quirk into a lopsided smirk, all innocence lost. "You know who Ladybug is. You know her."

Nino scrambles up. His nervous chuckle would have put Mari's to shame. "I thought we established this? She may not know I know you, and she may not know you know I know about her, but you do realize she'll kill us both if I say anything more, right?"

"No, you don't understand! You know her! She isn't a random girl, is she?"

"…did I say that?"

"Yes! You did!"

A string of half-formed curses stampedes through Nino's mind. He has no idea how, but something he said caught the cat's attention, and it's far, far too late to do any damage control.

That doesn't stop him from trying. For Mari's sake.

"Nooooo, I most certainly did not," Nino denies. "I said I know her secret identity. I said I know about her. Never once did I say I know her well."

"Fine. You didn't technically say it, but I assumed, and—" Adrien freezes. "Mari," he breathes.

Breath catching in his throat, Nino struggles to compose his reaction, but his efforts are wasted. He can see the revelation becoming solid, infallible fact in Adrien's mind before his very eyes. Another heartbeat, and Adrien is on a roll, expression brightening with every word he utters under his breath about that day you were acting so weird and about how it all makes sense now.

God, he's an awful Guardian. And not only that, but he's also an awful friend. Adrien and Marinette have been Miraculous Holders for nearly a year now, and in all that time, they've built a relationship, they've bonded and grew together, and damn if he didn't just run right in and potentially ruin what they've created. He's careless. So, so careless.

He doesn't want to even look at Wayzz or Plagg. No way does he want to deal with their disappointment.

Perhaps he should have looked. He would have seen both kwami looking smug, relieved, and even a little bit devious.

Nino, however, does see how happy Adrien is, and in the midst of his internal panic, he gives up trying to get a word in edgewise and muses that maybe it's worth getting his ass handed to him by an irate Ladybug if it means that…

Adrien's tone suddenly changes, his overwhelming joy subdued by no small amount of shock when he whispers, "Marinette's the one who calls me kitty? This whole time? How did I miss it?"

There are stars in the dweeb's lovesick eyes, and a grin worthy of Chat Noir grows across Nino's face. Screw his self-doubts and his fear of Marinette's wrath. It's not maybe worth it, he decides. It's definitely worth it now