(( Author's Note: Warnings, some dark themes later, but also, self-indulgent AF, PFT. Has an OC but here's hoping she's tolerable. Nosedive/My OC(Cornelius from Meet the Robinson's birth mother, this is a what if AU where she keeps him instead of giving him up), also Wildwing/Tanya and Duke/Mallory. This is a Mighty Ducks: TAS crossover with Meet the Robinsons and Harry Potter. Cornelius's mom is also the squib daughter of a couple of Harry Potter characters, it's hinted at, if you care to ponder it, and will be revealed later. Hope any possible readers enjoy. If not, meh, whatever. XD XP ))

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"Hey Dive! Happy birth-!" Wildwing's hand slowly lowered from the wave he'd been giving his younger brother, realizing his mistake when his mate, Tanya, nudged him in the ribs. "Oh, uh… Sorry, bro. I forgot…"

Wildwing had been wishing his brother a happy birthday every year, until the last year, when Nosedive had asked him, polite and calm but sadly sure, to stop. It had slipped his mind when he at first noticed the date on the calendar that morning, but now that he saw the forlorn expression on his brother's normally cheerful and energetic face, the reason for it came back to his memory.

Of course Nosedive had loved being wished a happy birthday when he was younger. And even for the first few years After Earth, the year they had dubbed after arriving on the planet they'd begrudgingly come to call their temporary home, he was glad just to have his teammates-turned-family be there for him and care enough to acknowledge and treat him. But year after year had passed, and one year, Nosedive realized that he was the same age Wildwing had been when they arrived on Earth…

30 years old. 8 years stuck on Earth. 8 years missing from his family, his friends, his home…

The years didn't stop passing, either. Wildwing mated off with Tanya. The next year, Duke asked Mallory to be his mate, too.

Then it seemed like those two pairs were always together. Always so in love. So happy.

Always a constant reminder of what Nosedive wanted most in the world.

A reminder, of what he would never have…

There were only two females in their group. And while it was not completely unheard of for one female to share two males, or vice versa – It was considered, as it was in human culture, to be pretty damn freaky. Those from Planet Puck, or' Pucklings', as they were also known, were overwhelmingly monogamous. Tanya and Mallory had made their choices. So now, there was no one left to extend that choice to him…

He would admit it to no one, but Nosedive had, on several occasions, thought about asking Grin to take him as his mate. Besides his own brother Wildwing, Nosedive considered him his closest friend in the group. But although homosexuality and bisexuality was far more common in Puckling culture than polygamy, it was still more uncommon than not, and in the end, he had to admit, if there were another female to distract him, he probably wouldn't be turning his eye towards Grin, who was also twice his age, and seemed to regard him more as a brother or son than anything else.

He did, though, ask Grin if there was a special girl back home that he missed. Grin had replied, zen as ever, but only after the initial skip of a beat, that he had long since found "Inner Peace".

Dive replied, his head hung low, "Yeah, well, I haven't felt very 'at peace' with myself lately…"

Grin somberly laid a hand upon the back of his shoulder. "You don't have to feel at peace if you can't bring yourself to feel that way. Few people are… Like me. I have meditated for years to rid myself of feelings that I consider unnecessary and distracting. For many people, those feelings can be very distracting, even consuming. But even though it might seem irrational to me personally, it's natural for the majority. So just remember this, young grasshopper…"

He then reached in, and hooked his huge, strong arm around Nosedive's back and opposite shoulder, pulling them into a firm, one-armed hug. "Cravings are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. But there is only one vital feeling in this and all other worlds… Love. I know you feel like something is missing from your life, Nosedive. Just know that that isn't it. Despite how lonely I know you must feel sometimes. You are loved..."

Slowly, Nosedive lifted his head up. Then he leaned it against his old friend's beefy bosom. "Thanks, bro…"

Things didn't get better overnight. But by the next day, Nosedive could at least pretend they had.

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Dragaunus had been laying low after a particularly sound thrashing about six years prior, in which he'd taken the worst hit the Ducks had ever managed to land on him and his forces. Grin had been forced to take out Siege for good when the choice came to his life or the lizard juggernaut's. Meanwhile, Duke had pulled a rather brilliant maneuver with Mallory, letting the old wizard think he had the male duck beaten, before Mallory landed a fatal blow. He died cursing Dragaunus for not listening to him about their dark ancestral magic, which then seemingly died with him…

The Saurian lord barely managed to get out with his tail between his legs, but not before Wildwing managed to get a sound shot to his left eye. Chameleon barely managed to get the two of them back to their ship before the Ducks captured them, and since then, they hadn't made a single move. Of course Wildwing and the others knew he would, someday, and they remained ever vigilant. But Nosedive was encouraged to go have fun and be the kid he still was at heart, and it was usually Wildwing or Tanya that stuck by the computer the most, with breaks from Grin, Duke or Mallory.

So on one weekend afternoon, Nosedive was hanging out at his usual spot with Thrash and Mookie at the comic store, which was now much bigger, and also sold plenty of other kinds of merch, like video games and figurines and such, now that a member of the number one most popular hockey team in the country was a business partner with them. The store had been upgraded, and he tended to hang out in the back with his co-managers and watch the security cameras while smaller-time employees ran the front of the store.

On this particular day, a young mother had come in with her young son. She looked to be somewhere in her twenties, tops, with somewhat straight, and somewhat wavy hair - A light, light blonde, and silvery-grey eyes to match Her child, who sort of reminded Dive of his old friend Buzz, only much calmer and withdrawn, had a darker golden blonde mop, and blue eyes like Nosedive. He seemed to be somewhere between five to seven, and surely not much older than that.

Nothing much seemed off about them, except that they seemed a bit timid. They looked around for about five minutes, then went up to the front to stand in line. By then, a man had come into the store by himself. He looked about fifty, with more hair on his face than on his head, and short-ish but with a much bigger gut like Phil. He seemed red-faced and puffed up, like he was pissed about something, and it wasn't long before they found out why. He started to yell at the woman with the young son, who was staring at him in shock and no small amount of fear. Reacting to the woman's plight and the man's odd hostility, Dive and Trash rushed to the front of the store to confront the yelling man.

"Sir, do you have a problem?" Thrash asked first, with Nosedive peeking out from just inside of the back door.

"Not with you – Just with HER." The red, vaguely reptilian man responded, glaring at the woman, who was an inch or so taller than him, but still shrinking away for the sake of her child. "I'm just telling the truth – This WELFARE WHALE has no business coming into this store! Lady I just saw you buy a cake at the store across the street with FOOD STAMPS, now you have the gall to come in here? CAKE isn't a need, lady! VIDEO GAMES aren't a need, lady!" Each time he said the 'L' word it sounded more like the 'B' word, and the woman shrank back another step as he took one forward. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Putting her frightened small child behind her, the woman then stood her ground, and took a step forward, steeling up to the tubby tantrum-thrower's face. "For your information, NOT that it's your business – It's my son's birthday! The cake is for his BIRTHDAY, and so is the ONE video game I promised to let him get for his OLD Gameguy system! We don't usually get things like this, it's a special occasion!"

He interrupted her there with spit spraying from his mouth, which caused her to draw back again, "LADY, when you're that poor, you don't GET to have special occasions! Maybe you should've given your kid up for adoption if you couldn't afford not to leech off of taxpayers to—"

"Alright. I've had 100% freaking enough."

Nosedive stepped out from the back room, his arms crossed and glaring at the man. Unforgivably clueless, the man sputtered at the sight of him, "W-What the hell-? Who is this FREAK?"

"Oh my god..." Mookie groaned through her grin, shaking her head into her hand.

"Dude." Thrash added in a disbelieving monotone, "That 'freak' OWNS the STORE you're in..."

"And I don't take kindly to people harassing others in my store." Dive concluded after them.

The man scoffed, clearly not sharing the opinion of literally every other person in the store, and showing no mercy, despite the tears of fury and stricken sadness and disbelief that sprang to the young mother's eyes. "She's a LEECH. She deserves-"

Nosedive didn't let him get any further than that, interrupting him after placing his knuckles on his hips. "Dude? Do you know what they call people like you where I'm from? People who don't care if women and children don't have food or shelter, who like to spread misery where there was once happiness? We call creeps like that SAURIANS. Cold-blooded LIZARDS. Before those MONSTERS came along and enslaved everyone, my government used to PAY our females to have children and take care of them. And people like you think women should struggle to bring up the children that will someday inherit your planet? You actually WANT your species' legacy to starve and live without any joy in their lives, just so you can feel superior? I really can't tell if that's more evil, or more stupid!"

The man grit his teeth so hard, Dive's stomach turned at the obvious damage he was doing to his enamel. "What the hell did you just say to me-?!"

"Yeah, I'm not repeating myself." He rolled his eyes. "And I'm only saying this once: Get out of my store and do NOT come back. We have cameras all over this property, if we see you anywhere on it, we're calling the police. And if I find out you've harassed or tried to hurt this woman ANYWHERE, I'm making it my personal mission to make sure you never do it again. And keep in mind, I'm a millionaire. If I wanna find someone, I can."

"Why don't you just go back to your own planet, FREAK?" He literally spat back, hocking a wad of gunk right by Nosedive's foot. "You're just as bad as she is!" He added, knocking over a display case of superhero-themed coffee mugs, which shattered on the ground.

"...Well." Nosedive shrugged, pulling out a remote control from his pocket, and pressing a few buttons on it. Within seconds, an alarm started to blare, and then two robotic security guards emerged from the back, scooped up the man in their inescapable metal clutches, and threw him out onto the curb.

"And. Stay. Out." The robots beeped at him before returning to Nosedive's side.

The man stayed there to holler threats and obscenities, even tried throwing his shoes at the store window. But when the police arrived a few minutes later, it was clear by then that had been a bad choice. They arrested him for disturbing the peace, damaging property, and making threats. All of which Nosedive had video footage of. So he wouldn't be getting out of jail very soon at all.

When all that was done and over with, the woman bowed her head and clasped her hands as she groveled, "Mister, I am so, SO sorry!" She was close to tears from the embarrassment. Dive could tell she wanted to just leave by then, but she felt that what had just happened was partially her fault, and that it was her duty to at least apologize.

"Don't sweat it, Miss." Dive waved her off. "He had no right to come in here and treat you like he just did. He was a major creep. Please, don't let him stop you from getting what you came for."

The few other customers had gone by then, and Thrash motioned her to come up to the counter. "So what'll it be, Ma'am?"

"Well," She replied meekly, pulling out an old, beat up Gameguy box, red with peeling Teenage Radioactive Samurai Frog stickers on it. "We got this at a yard sale last year, and he's beaten all the games that came with it. We were just wondering if you had any other games for it?"

Thrash immediately looked apologetic. "Oh, dang... I'm sorry, Miss. But this system is really, really old... Like, the oldest. I'm afraid we don't even carry games for this system anymore..."

"Oh no..." She looked positively mortified now. "I caused you all that trouble, and now I can't even make a purchase... I'm so terribly sorry. We'll go now..."

The young boy at her side was crestfallen, and having heard that it was his birthday, Nosedive just couldn't have that. "Hey. Wait. Don't go just yet."

They stopped and turned, prepared to apologize again, but then Dive started to walk around the store, picking up one thing after the other. The newest handheld 3D gaming system, a shiny protective case for it, and a Teenage Radioactive Samurai Frog figurine. Then he went up to the boy, and told him, "Alright, now I want you to go ahead and pick out at least four games for your new 3DX here. Whatever you want. It's on me."

The woman somehow managed to gasp louder than her son, who looked back at her for permission, which she wasn't sure if she could give right away. "You can't be serious-?"

"I'm dead serious!" Nosedive replied surely. "Every kid deserves to have a good birthday, and I won't have that Major Creep ruin his!"

"But-!" She covered her mouth with her hands in shock. "That's got to be at least 500 dollars worth of merchandise! I couldn't possible accept such a generous offer, especially after all the damage we caused you..."

Dive rolled his eyes. "Yeah, again, Major Creep did that, not you or your son. And again, I'm a millionaire. This is seriously nothing to me. In fact, I feel it's the least I could do after you go harassed in my store. Please feel free to accept - I promise there's no strings attached. I just want your son to have the birthday he deserves."

The boy was looking up at his mother with begging eyes, so of course she couldn't even dream of denying him anymore. "W-Well... If you're absolutely sure it's alright...?"

"Absolutely." Dive replied in a heartbeat, and it didn't take any longer than that for the boy to go looking for the games he was allowed. After a few moments of indecisiveness, he finally picked out a 'Monster in your Pocket' game, a TRSF game, a Legend of Grizelda game, and a game called 'Magic Mayhem'.

He gave his mother the games to inspect first, and she was fine with the first three choices, but gave pause at the last. "Magic Mayhem? Cornelius, you know how I feel about magic..."

"Aw mom, pleeeease?" He pleaded, pouting up at her. "It looks really cool! You get to choose whether to be a Good Witch or a Bad Witch! I promise I'll be a Good Witch?"

"Well... I suppose it'll be okay, just this once..." She finally conceded hesitantly, not wanting to dampen his special day by worrying too much.

After ringing up the selections and paying for them with his card, Nosedive handed the bag of purchases to the young boy, who was hopping on his feet from so much excitement. "This is the BEST birthday I've ever had! Thank you so, SO much, Mister!" He exclaimed already in a hurry to get everything out if it's package.

The young mother proceeded to lay her hand on top of Nosedive's down-covered one, and added to him in a very serious whisper. "I really can't thank you enough for this... In all my life, no one's ever shown me this much generosity. I don't know how yet, but I promise I'm going to make this up to you. Thank you for making this my son's best birthday yet."

Nosedive shook his head. "Hearing that is more than thanks enough. You guys go on and enjoy your special day now~"

He then smiled after the two as the walked out of the store, with the boy shouting in excitement at how amazing the new graphics were.

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A couple of months passed after that day, and Nosedive had almost forgotten about the woman and her young son with the funny name, until one day, they came into the store again out of the blue. The mother still seemed about as timid as he remembered, but the boy happily set to looking at the new games with enthusiasm, picking out several of them in record time.

Dive whistled as he watched the boy add one game after the other to his basket, "Wow, mom's really treating you today, huh?"

"Yeah!" He smiled obliviously, picking out another, rather expensive title. "She said I can pick out 500 dollars worth, to pay you back for how nice you were to us last time!"

His mother smacked her forehead as he blurted that out, and Nosedive grinned back at her. "Oh she did, did she?"

He could tell she was the type of person who would never normally spend that much on video games, and that the only reason she was doing so today was to try and pay him back for his generosity.

But, he wasn't about to have her spend every extra dollar she'd saved up over the last two months to pay back a millionaire that didn't need it, either.

So, while she wasn't looking, he picked out a copy of everything he's seen her son pick out, and then rung it up himself. So by the time they got to the register, all he had to do was hand them a bag. "Sorry ma'am, but your money's no good here~"

Her eyes were as wide as saucers. "You've got to be kidding me..." She sighed. "Sir, this is really FAR too much - I just can't accept this! I have to pay you back SOMEHOW! It just doesn't feel right to me not to!"

He sighed back, and shrugged. "Alright, if you insist... Chili dogs."

"...What?"

"Chili dogs. They're my fave. Make me some chili dogs for dinner, and I'll consider us even."

The woman was completely silent for about five seconds, openly staring at him in shock. Then she let out an exasperated breath, reached for a pen on the counter, and wrote something down on the back of the receipt he had given her. It was her home address and phone number. "Meet me here at 7 o clock tonight. You're going to have the best chili dog dinner of your LIFE!"

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Nosedive left the shop early that evening, and left a message for his teammates to not wait up for him at dinner, that he would be 'going out to eat'. It technically wasn't a lie... He just didn't think they needed to know every detail. It would only worry them, and with how shy and timid Karen seemed to be, he didn't want her to get startled as a result of a surprise visit from a nosy, distrusting teammate...

Upon reaching her home, the first thing he noticed was that it was not a 'house' proper, but instead, an apartment. The single window to her domicile had the floral-print blinds closed, and several potted flowers sitting on the sill. There was also a daisy wreath hanging on the door, and the welcome mat at his feet bore the likeness of sunflowers.

He knocked twice, but before his knuckled hit the door the third time, he heard someone rushing around inside, and a second later, the young Cornelius had opened the door. "Heya Mister Flashblade!" No doubt he had learned his name, and several other random facts about him, through a magazine or an online article.

"Whoa, buddy-" Nosedive corrected him right away. "Mister Flashblade was my father. You can just call me Nosedive, or better yet, just Dive. So, how's everything going? Something smells really good in there!"

The young boy smirked up at him, crossing his arms. "Yeah, she pretty much took your request as a personal challenge..."

He lifted his bill up further and continued sniffing. "Well it smells like I'm going to enjoy this challenge, if I do say so myself!"

"Well, I should certainly hope so." The young mother added as she emerged from the kitchen - That is, a pitifully small hole in the wall that she used as a kitchen. She and her son shared a studio apartment that was even smaller than Nosedive's entire bedroom. In all honesty it made him feel a little claustrophobic, but he politely ignored it - And at least it was brightly colored, with floral print wallpaper, and Cornelius' school accomplishments taped all over the wall. From how little space there was between, it was clear the boy was a prodigy. "You've paid for the meal hundreds of times over, after all..."

He shrugged. "Money really isn't an issue for me. Seriously. I really don't mind. I can tell your son is a real smart kid, and video games help keep sharp minds thinking quick! How old did you turn this year, by the way? I forgot to ask. And uh... Well, I guess I forgot to ask your names, too..." He added sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

The young woman smiled softly at him. "I almost can't believe how kind you are. Everything you've done for us, and you don't even know our names! Well. I'm Karen. Karen Robinson. And my son is called Cornelius."

"And I'm seven!" He added with a big, bright smile, holding out a hand to shake, almost like an adult.

"I figured you were about that age, although you talk so smart, I almost thought you might be older." Dive mentioned, taking his small hand in his downy feather-covered one, and shaking it.

He turned to extend the same courtesy to Karen, but she quickly ducked back into the kitchen, explaining as she did so, "Oh! Sorry, I've just been chopping jalapeno peppers, and the juice is still on my hands. Hold on..."

The sound of running water followed, and two minutes later, she came out with her hands full of dishes, which she then began to pile at the small table that stood just outside of her cubby of a kitchen. Two of the chairs that sat there were obviously older than the third, which incidentally was the seat they left for him.

He sat, and watched without a word about her forgotten handshake as she began filling the table with every fixing imaginable. There was of course, the usual suspects - The grated cheddar, the sour cream, and onions, both raw and caramelized. But then she kept bringing more and more plates out, one with bacon, jalapenos, and tomatoes. Scallions, black olives, avocado, corn chips and salsa. Then she brought out a steaming pot full of chili, bubbling hot and fresh, and Nosedive's tongue began to salivate with anticipation.

Then she brought out the actual hot dogs themselves, and Nosedive couldn't help it, he had to stop and stare. Gawk, more like. They weren't the usual steamed wieners he was used to. They had been spiral-cut into the shape of a curled spring, and then sizzled in a pan to perfection.

Well, perfect to Cornelius, who set to explaining right away as he loaded one of the strange curly hot dogs into a bun and began loading it with chili and cheese. "It's more work, but we've found that cutting the hot dogs into this shape gives you more toppings in between each bite of dog! It's the perfect dog to fixing ratio!"

"Cornelius is very scientific." Karen added as she made her own place, and urged Nosedive to do so too. "It's his specialty in school, although he doesn't really have any poor subjects." She beamed proudly at the boy. "He's always thinking of ways to improve, well, just about anything! He's the one who suggested we start cutting them this way, and well, I must say, I really like them this way now!"

"They sure look... Different!" Dive snorted, keeping his thoughts to himself as he began overloading his hot dog with chili, cheese, onions, jalapenos and bacon. Despite the childish voice in his head making him a little sick with reminders of what else those kinds of hot dogs looked like to him, he was too hungry to care, and too polite not to at least try the weird-looking things. Cutting off a piece with his fork, he shoveled it into his beak, along with an extra big bite of the chili. He savored the flavor for several seconds as he chewed, the taste of Nirvana washing over him. The texture of the hog dog was weird, but the chili was easily the best he'd ever had in his life. "Mmm! Oh man, what brand of chili is this?"

She smirked and shrugged. "My brand? I made it from scratch."

He immediately took another bite, and another. "Oh man! Now that's totally a one thousand dollar chili dog. And I've had a LOT of chili dogs in my life."

She blushed and looked aside. "Oh, I'm sure you're just saying that. But thank you. I, um, picked out all-beef hot dogs too. I hope that's okay. I mean, that is - I mean no offense, but I thought that it might be rude, to serve a hot dog made of poultry..."

Nosedive quickly swallowed the bite in his mouth as he fought back the chuckles. "Oh? Haha, well, thanks for the consideration. I do prefer beef dogs, myself. And, yeah, definitely wouldn't want to try any hot dogs made out of duck meat, but... Well, to be honest, back on my home planet, our sources of meat came from what we referred to as "Lesser Birds". Chicken, quail, sparrows. That kind if thing. I mean, it's just, we didn't have cows or pigs or any of those animals on my planet. Only birds and fish. It was pretty much the same for our neighboring planets, too - Planet Falconia and Planet Emperius. The planet of Falcon-people and Penguin-people. Though I've only heard tales of those places, I've never visited them myself... But, sorry for the rant there! I'm actually not even supposed to talk about Puckworld to humans. We get a lot of weirdos trying to get this kind of information from us. But, yanno... I'm sure I can trust you guys to keep it secret. Right?"

Both Karen and Cornelius has stopped eating while listening to his tale, engrossed with all the details. But his sudden inquiry snapped then out of it, and Karen was quick to reassure him, "Oh! Of course! No, I understand completely! My parents were always extremely secretive people, so I know how to keep a secret very well! You can trust me. I wouldn't tell a soul, I swear it..."

The son nodded his head surely as well. "Me too! I promise I won't tell anyone else - But, would you tell us more? I think it's SO cool that you come from another planet. I want to know as much as you'll tell us!"

"But don't pressure him, Cornelius..." Karen added quietly, even though Nosedive would see her eyes burning with curiosity as well.

Dive shook his head right away. "I don't feel pressured. Really. It's actually kind of nice to have someone I can tell about my home, after all these years... You're sure you don't mind, though?"

"Of course not!" They both insisted right away, leaving everyone giggling at their thinly-veiled enthusiasm.

"So..." Karen continued a moment later. "Is it true, what you said that day? That your people actually paid their females to take care of children? It sounds like paradise to me..."

Dive paused a bit before giving her a short nod, and replied, "They're called Nurturers. And technically males could be them too, it's just usually the females that do... I actually gave a bit of thought to being one at one point though. Because my mom was one..."

Karen looked down at her plate. "I'm so sorry... You must miss her terribly."

He nodded again. "I'm just glad she was still okay the last I saw of her, though. We led the Saurians away into this dimension, so hopefully the Resistance Forces managed to get rid of the remaining Droids, and rebuild the planet. I'd like to hope that's what happened, and that my mother moved on and started a new family. I hope she's happy again by now, even though she doesn't have me, or Wildwing, or... Dad." He sighed deeply, fidgeting with his fork and pushing the last few beans on his plate around aimlessly. "My father... He was killed trying to fight off the Saurians. Trying to keep us and mom from being taken from our home, and enslaved..."

"I'm so sorry Nosedive..." Karen breathed. "Your father was a very brave man. And I'm sure your mother still misses you, and always will. But I hope she's found happiness again too..."

He looked up again, and smiled. "Thank you, Karen. You're too kind. I guess you must get that from your folks?" He guessed, subtly pressing her to talk about herself now, since he had blathered on about his life for a while.

To his surprise though, she immediately began to shake her head. "Oh no, not at all. My mother and father were cruel, uncaring, and very prejudiced people... They thought they were better than everyone else, for the most ridiculous reasons. I think they were too cowardly to kill anyone, but they supported others who did so. Times have been hard, but I wouldn't go back to them for anything in the world..."

"I'm sorry..." He nodded in understanding, surmising by the blonde hair and light skin that the mother and son sported, that her parents had probably been "Skinheads" or members of the KKK. "So... Have you lived here all your life, or did you come from somewhere else? Like, maybe, the South...?" He guessed, trying to see if his hunch was right.

She shook her head, "My parents actually lived in the UK. But I wanted to get as far away from them as I could. Plus, it was always very grey and rainy where I came from. I wanted to live somewhere sunny. And I heard California was the Sunshine State. Except, it turns out that was technically Florida... Common mistake, it seems. But it's still very sunny here, and after the trip I didn't have any money left, so, here in the Golden State I stayed..."

"Wow!" Dive whistled. "All the way from the UK? I guess now that you mention it I can kind of hear the accent, but, you sound mostly American!"

She shrugged with a small smile. "Well, as they say - When in Rome, do as the Romans do? It wasn't that hard to pick it up, though. My parents never really let me out of the house, so, honestly, I've talked to more Americans than I have British people..."

He nodded, and finished off the last of his chili, before helping himself to another serving - Sans the curly hot dog. "This chili is seriously the best!" He boasted in between "mmm"s and "mm-mm-mmm"s.

"I could give you the recipe?" She offered, and that gave Dive pause.

"You know..." He mentioned slowly. "I think I have a better idea..."

Smiling as he finished off his chili, he inquired, "Where do you work, Karen? If you don't mind me asking? Do you like your job?"

"Hmm? Oh, well... I'm a waitress..." She mentioned rather sheepishly. Despite anything else she said, she clearly wasn't proud of the job. "It's alright though! It keeps a roof over our heads, at least..." And barely that, considering how tiny the place was, and that she still had to apply for food stamps despite it...

Dive nodded, linking his fingers under his chin. "But... You'd probably quit that job, if you could find something that paid better, right?"

She pursed her lips in a straight line, and shrugged. "Well, of course!"

"Well then... What if I were to offer you a job?"

She blinked like an owl. "W... What?"

"Well," He went on more confidently. "In my opinion, you're clearly a professional Nurturer. Your son is doing great in school, you feed him well, you keep a clean home, and you're just really sweet, to be completely honest - And I very strongly feel like you should be getting paid for it!" He concluded, flashing her a grin. "For that, and maybe letting me have a plate of whatever delicious thing you're cooking up maybe once or twice a week, and letting me yak your head off... Well, I dunno, how does ten thousand a month sound?"

Karen seemed to be struggling with the bite she had just taken. Thinking quick, Cornelius ran into the kitchen and came back with three cans of lemonade, the first of which he gave his mother, who quickly used it to wash down the bite she was choking on. "You're crazy... You MUST be joking..." She told him, staring with eyes wider than they've ever been. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love to be your friend, but - I can't just let you pay me for it, let alone such a ridiculous amount!"

He rolled his eyes at the word 'ridiculous'. He'd actually been thinking of offering more. "Listen, Karen - I mentioned before that I'm a millionaire. The average hockey player makes about 2.4 mil a year. But my team is, hands down, the most popular team in the league. We each make close to 5 million a year. Plus I own a few dozen video game and comic book stores across the US. Trust me when I say, what I'm offering you is barely a drop in my bucket."

"But still-" She tried to protest, but he put a hand up, signaling for her to hear him the rest of the way out.

"BUT, the thing is, my 'bucket' is way different than the average hockey player's? Human hockey players don't have to worry about someday having to leave the planet if they ever manage to find a way back home to their own dimension. And if that ever happens, well - Your government is going to seize all of our assets, there's no question about it. It's why my team gives so freely to charity, since we don't have to deal with the Saurians as much anymore. We still monitor them, but we landed a pretty huge blow to them last time we fought. If they do try anything again, it'd be a bad move on their part, especially since we seized and destroyed a bunch of their Saurian technology. So we've got a lot of money to spare. Like, a LOT lot. So... Please, Karen. I'd really like to do this for you. More than I'd like for a bunch of greedy bureaucrats to take it all, anyways. I'd like for you to be able to get a bigger, nicer place to live - At least a nice two bedroom apartment so you and your son can both have a room to yourselves? Plus, it should be enough that if you put a chunk aside every month, you'll be able to send your son to just about any college he wants to go to once he's older. And well... Yeah, I'd like to keep coming around and enjoying your company, if you don't mind me doing so...?"

He had her at the word 'college', he could see it in her eyes, which flicked down to her son, who was looking back at her pleadingly. But she seemed to be in a state of shock, and couldn't think of what to say right away. After a few seconds of pondering, she reached down, and gave herself a firm pinch. Only then did she finally breathe out, "This is just so much. Just, too much..."

Dive was about to answer flippantly 'Not for me', to reassure her again that it was truly just a drop in the bucket for him. But then he rethought his initial comment, and rerouted it, understanding that it might not be a big deal to him, but it was literally life-changing for her. So instead he answered, "Not... For someone who deserves it."

"And Mom, you -totally- deserve it." Cornelius added immediately, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Nosedive nodded, then outstretched his hand to her over the table. "So?"

She only hesitated a second more, before both her hands shot out and clasped his firmly. "You show up for dinner any day of the week, okay? And you yak my ear off until dawn if you want to!"

Cornelius and Nosedive both grinned, and the latter nodded once more as he added his second hand over hers and shook on it. "Alright!" He crowed, "Slammin', dude!"

He felt like he hadn't said something 'cool' like that enough lately.

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Dive didn't want to look desperate, of course. But he really wanted to hang out with his new friends again. He let at least three days pass, even though Karen had given him her phone number and insisted that he call anytime. But by the third day, a Saturday, he was getting a strong urge for something home-cooked again, and the company of a couple of new and interesting folks.

The phone only rang twice before she picked up. "Hey Nosedive!" Karen greeted him, "You called just in time! I was about to take Cornelius to the park before we go shopping for dinner. Would you like to meet us there? And then you can tell me what you're craving~"

Craving the company more than anything, but also in the mood for a big bowl of taco salad, Dive readily agreed, and headed off to the park that she had directed him to. He arrived by motorcycle only minutes after Karen had, and she and her son were still waiting in the parking lot, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the trunk of her old, beat-up car, which had once been a shinier shade of night sky blue, but was now a dusty navy.

She offered him the contents of a picnic basket, which had an additional PB and J, some small bags of barbecue chips, and cans of orange soda - The good kind, with real orange juice. He politely took a sandwich and some juice, and joined them by the hood of her car, listening instead of yakking himself as Cornelius told him about getting an A on the math test he'd just been given the day before, and how a cool new kid had just joined his class.

"His name is Mike McGuyer. He used to be an orphan but then that famous baseball player Mark McGuyer adopted him. I guess his old last name used to be Yagoobian, so he tells everybody to call him Goob."

"Hey, I've met McGuyer. Nice guy!" Dive commented shortly, smacking peanut butter off the roof of his bill. "Nice house, too. Went to a party there one time."

"Yeah! I've heard he's got his own baseball field in his backyard, AND a miniature golf course!" The blonde boy gasped.

"Yup." Dive nodded, washing down the rest of the PB with a splash of soda. "And a pool."

"Yeah! I'm totally jealous, of course..." He admitted, "But not because of that stuff... I mean, yeah that too, obviously, but, it's mostly the talent in sports I'm talking about..." He put his sandwich down suddenly as began to emote wildly with his hands, pretending to be throwing balls and holding up bats. "Goob NEVER flinches when the ball's coming at him, and this kid, he's smaller than me! He's practically a BEAN and he just stares at the ball when it's coming at him without blinking, it's too cool! He's modest so he says it's just coz he practices with the ball-throwing machine all the time, and strangely, stressing to remember to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night, but yeah, I guess hitting balls thrown by one of those crazy, scary things would make the average kid pitcher seem like nothing!" He somehow grinned even more as he then locked eyes with Dive. "And MAN, dude-The way you skate out there and handle yourself on the ice against all those jacked-up hockey-jockeys, and THEN you went and fought a bunch of psycho alien lizards afterwards? I know this all happened before I was even born, but, aaaaaugh, it's just so COOL!"

Dive grinned to the side bashfully, and took another sip of pop before answering. "Well man, I mean yeah, but, I was just doing what I had to do. I only -wanted- to fight the Saurians because I was so pissed off at them for what the did to my family... Er. Excuse the language, but... Yeah, I never really wanted to be doing it. I had to, needed to, after what they did to my dad, my people, and my planet... But, yeah. I'd MUCH rather be reading comics, hanging out with friends, finding fresh new bites - Just, screw war, yanno?" He ended, letting the grin fall with a sigh.

To his surprise, Karen had gotten a very pensive, deep look in her eyes as he explained his feelings and experiences, and then she nodded several times as he concluded. "Yes. War is... So very awful..."

There was no way she wasn't speaking from experience herself. But for the sake of her innocent child, she quickly shook her own feelings and memories away, and gave her child the most appropriate answer she could. "Nosedive might seem like a superhero to you, child - But he's also a person with his own feelings. Just be glad there's so little crime in this area. It's so much finer to live in a caring civilization! Where people help take care of people, and then, people can help take care of the ducks!" She laughed, as a couple of white-feathered male ducks and a couple of female geese came waddling over, quacking and honking for bites of their half-eaten sandwiches.

Dive laughed too, and Cornelius tore off his crust and threw it to the white ducks. However, the much larger Gooses chased them away, and ate it themselves.

"Poor guys." Nosedive cooed, tearing his sandwich in half, and throwing the smaller half to the side for the goose girls to chase after. Then he tore the remaining half in two, and threw it to the ducks.

Cornelius asked suddenly, "Is it weird, seeing ducks like this? Or did you guys have little ducks on your planet?"

Dive shook his head right away. "No, no ducks like this on our planet. And, it was pretty weird for us, at first. I mean, can you imagine seeing a really little wild human, that bigger people regularly eat? I mean there's none of those on any planet I've seen but I'm sure it'd be something like that?" He guessed.

"Weird!" Both mother and son remarked at once. But then the mother added, "Then again though, babies can come close, besides the eating part, of course..."

Cornelius rolled his eyes and groaned, "Mooom, please don't..."

"I won't..." But at Nosedive's questioning face, she slyly added, "Bore Nosedive with any cute, embarrassing moment of baby-Cornelius~"

"Hey-" Nosedive quickly butted in there, "I of course wouldn't ask about that, but, do you mind if I do ask, why did you name him Cornelius? It's just such a... Really unique name!"

At that, Cornelius was the one to cross his arms and answer for her, "She just looked at me, and said, 'He looks like a Cornelius!'."

"He did!" Karen immediately defended herself. "He still does! Other people have told me he looks more like a Louis, apparently? But I just always thought he looked like a Cornelius!"

Nosedive laughed a slightly quack-ish laugh. "Well, I guess? But I could see either one of you as anything!"

"Like what?" Karen went on to inquire, very curious. "What would you see Cornelius as, and what name would you think would better suit me?"

Nosedive blinked, curious himself. "Well! I agree with your mom on you looking like a Cornelius, but I could also see Lewis or Lou! And as for Karen, well, that's the perfect name for you, of course, but, if I had to choose another... Oh, I dunno... Rose?" He grinned and immediately explained, "Your hair is the color of some white and yellow roses I've seen."

There Cornelius butted in, "Her middle name is Rose, actually!"

Nosedive made a victory fist. "Alright! And I dunnoooo, maybe Mercy, or, Madonna-"

"What?" Karen suddenly interrupted, her face suddenly extremely serious, when she had just been smiling. "What was that last one?"

"Oh! Pft, you know - Madonna! Like, the singer?" He was a little nervous about her sudden seriousness, but he tried to act cool.

It paid off. She suddenly erupted into giggles and snorts that wouldn't stop for quite a while. "Oh my goodness! What an amazing imagination you have there, Dive!" She finally managed to exclaim through her nervousness, which pleased him very much.

"I do try..." He shrugged coolly, though her behavior still left him with many questions he wasn't sure yet if he could question. He was glad, at least, that she could manage a smile despite it.

Well, she was managing to, until, suddenly, something rather unexpected happened. A tawny brown female duck had come to try her luck at a piece of bread, and the two white males, with bread in their bellies, suddenly went at her, the both of them.

Nosedive could no longer act so cool - He groaned with embarrassment and smacked his forehead. "Oh come on guys, that's not gentlemanly at all! Aww man, I cannot even imagine how this could get any more awkward..." He noted, covering his eyes and looking away. Unfortunately nature had to take it's course...

Karen, on the verge of getting a little upset, face pink and growing redder, tried to pull Cornelius away too. But before she did, the boy suddenly gasped with disgust, and exclaimed, "Oh! Oh, uh, uuuck... I just realized why you didn't want to eat the hot dogs last week!"

Now Karen was definitely red, and she exclaimed in a reprimanding tone, "Cornelius!"

Nosedive blinked, more like an owl than a duck for a moment, and added, "No, wait-There it is. We are now officially on Planet Awkward..."

His mind started racing on how to diffuse such a massively weird revelation, when suddenly, the emergency tone on his cell phone went off. A tone he hadn't heard in years. It signaled that ol' Lizard Lips was up to something... But for the first time in more than six whole years? And apparently at a... What the... A furniture store?

"Uhhhh, so, HEY," He went on, glad to tell the honest truth for once. "This is crazy, but, it turns out Dragaunus is up to something, right now. I gotta split. But uh, yeah, hopefully later, maybe...?" He abandoned that thought and the whole situation entirely on the spot with glee as he motioned to his motorcycle and promptly then ran to it with no more than a, "Gotta go!"

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Nosedive met the others last at the scene of the crime, and Wildwing started filling him in as soon as he arrived. "This is really weird, bro... Beds. He stole beds. By himself, no Chameleon. Then he stole as many extra mattresses as he could manage before we got here, and then he fled on the spot..."

"Redecorating on a budget?" Dive guessed as a joke, but his worried brow was thinking the same logic as the rest of them.

Tanya was the one to say it, though. "Yeah, but, that many? It kinda sounds more like... Yanno, like he's expecting some kind of company...?"

Considering the fact that Tanya was also 'expecting', this was especially something to worry about...

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