I, Lord Table, present you with my first fanfiction. Enjoy.

Prep thine tables for an OP as balls Jaune.

Name: Jaune Arc
Age: 17
Race: Human
Title: Nobody
LV: 2 (13%)
HP: 225/225
MP: 150/150 (+10 per Min)

STR: 12
DEX: 8
VIT: 15
INT: 10
WIS: 10
LUK: 5
Points: 5
Perks: Arc (+700% ?) (? Boosts X5), Gamer's Mind (100% Resistance to Mental afflictions), Gamer's Body (Damage shows in pain and HP, not body), Gamer's World (Loot defeated enemies, accept quests)
Title: No boosts
SPD: 16
Lien: 26

I stared at the blue 'screen' in front of me, believing myself to still be asleep, considering I was still in my bed. Seriously, what else does one do when blue screens appeared before them?

I examined the screen, and it showed stats, my name, my age, perks, and a line of question marks. Hell, whatever those perks were under 'Arc' sounded like good news, but probably weren't, considering the literal luck stat I was given. On the top right of the screen, I saw a 'Close Menu' button, and I hesitantly pressed it, not knowing if I could get that screen back up. Before I could ponder the sudden appearance of blue screen in my face, I heard my mother's voice call from the floor below.

"Jaune Julius Arc, get down here or you won't make it to Beacon!" My mother yelled angrily.

Resigned, I grabbed my shirt, jeans, and an armoured hoodie before being stopped by another blue screen.

QUEST: Get to Beacon on time.
Task: Get to Beacon Bullheads by 12PM (5:29:21 Remaining)
Completion: 300 EXP
Failure: Do not become a hunter, be a disgrace
Declination: Do not become a hunter, be a disgrace
(Yes/No)

Well, obviously I pressed the yes option.

My dad shoved me out of his car the second we got to the Bullhead dock. I just shrugged it off, already used to my parent's lack of patience with me. Grabbing the duffel bag that landed beside me, and adjusting Crocea Mors back into place. During the five hour ride here, I managed to bring up that 'Stats' screen. The stat spread looked okay to me, but when I looked over to my dad, all it said was

Name: Caesar Arc
Age: 42
Race: Human
Title: Arc Pride
LV: ?

I would have guessed his level would be astronomically higher than mine, but not the point where I couldn't even see it.

While passing through security, I couldn't help but look at the stats of other people. All the security guards appeared to be around level 20, while other Beacon students hovered between 20 to 30. Far superior to my pathetic level of 2.

When I got on the Bullhead, a notification appeared, saying I cleared a quest.

QUEST COMPLETE: Get to Beacon on Time
+300 EXP

I took a look back at my stats, and noted that my 13% to level 3 increased to 63%. And then another quest decided to make it's way onto the scene, not that I'm complaining.

QUEST: Survive Beacon's Initiation
Task: Survive Beacon's infamous initiation
Bonus task 1: Make 1 friend, and partner with him/her
Bonus task 2: Develop landing strategy
Secret task 1: ?
Secret task 2: ?
Completion: 600 EXP
Additional 100 EXP per Bonus
Additional 250 EXP per Secret
Failure: Do not become a hunter, Maiming or Death
Declination: Do not become a hunter
(Y/N)

So many questions, so little time until the Bullhead moved and I lost my lunch. So, questioning nothing, I pressed the yes option, as those numbers looked tasty. I may have not have had this inexplicable power for long, just received it this morning, but I was sure as hell going to abuse it, seeing as I was up against others, all wanting to enter the same school I did. I may be a tenth of what they are, but I can sure get to their strength!...

Right after I find somewhere to puke out my lungs. The Bullhead started moving, and mid-air movement did not sit right with me.

Now entering [Beacon Academy]
New Location found, +50 EXP

The notification popped up in front of me as I ran out of the flying puke generator known as a Bullhead, not that I gave it much mind. I'm pretty sure I puked on some blonde girl's shoes, but again, I didn't give it much mind until I decided to look at her level as soon as I was done emptying my innards. The data she gave me was fairly impressive, reading out as:

Name: Yang Xiao-Long
Age: 17
Race: Human
Title: Berserker Beauty
LV: 27
HP: 8100/8100
MP: 2250/2250

STR: 51 + 25%
DEX: 26 + 25%
VIT: 36 + 25%
INT: 15
WIS: 14
LUK: 20

Repeatedly performing an action has created skill [Observe]
Observe LV 1: Learn information from a target.

So this Yang girl had massive boosts, as well as…

I slapped myself before that train of thought left the station. 'Gotta be suave Jaune, not pervy,' I told myself, before noticing another window.

Performing an action has created skill [Physical Endurance]
Physical Endurance LV 1: Resist 2% of physical damage.

I looked over the skill, giving a nod to its usefulness, once I leveled it, that is. But really, would whatever ability I have allow me to get it to level 50? Probably not, but beggars can't be choosers.

"Now that I think about it, what kind of other passive abilities are there?" I wondered out loud, rubbing my chin. "Hmm, if I can find anymore passive skills, those would probably be the base of my training to get stronger…" I continued thinking, before two things happened. The first being a notification saying:

Due to your strategic planning, your INT and WIS go up by 1!

The second thing to make me lose my thoughts was a loud explosion, followed by an icicle whizzing by my face, grazing my right cheek. The cold cut deli me cost 2 HP, so before I lost anymore precious HP, I looked to where the explosion happened, and I saw two girls, one in an adorable lolita red and black dress, and the other was wearing a stunning white bolero jacket and battle skirt combo.

I decided to use my observe skill on them, and see who these two cute girls were!

Name: Weiss Schnee
Age: 17
Race: Human
Title: Schnee Heiress
LV: 26
HP: 2868.75/2868.75
MP: 8100/8100

STR: 25 +25%
DEX: 24 +25%
VIT: 17 +25%
INT: 54
WIS: 21
LUK: 15

Observe skill has leveled up!

Name: Ruby Rose
Age: 15
Race: Human (S)
Title: Red Riding Reaper
LV: 26
HP: 3750/3750
MP: 3300/3300

STR: 26 +25%
DEX: 55 +25%
VIT: 20 +25%
INT: 22
WIS: 19
LUK: 14

Observe skill has leveled up!

Alright, more question marks, two levels in Observe, a 15 year old girl with a bracketed 'S' beside her race…

And while I was reading the info, a monochrome themed girl walked up to them, and by the time I noticed, she was too far away to Observe, but not too far away to 'observe'...

Due to your quick puns, your INT has increased by 1!

Really? Brushing the message aside, I noticed that Ruby was on the ground and alone. Well, it wouldn't do for me, a valiant knight, to let her be alone, now would it?

QUEST: Rose Without Thorns
Task: Befriend Ruby Rose
Bonus Task: Learn the Boosts everyone but you has
Secret Task: ?
Completion: 50 EXP, Ruby Rose considers you Friend
Bonus Completion: 50 EXP, ?
Secret Completion: 50 EXP, ?
Declination: Nothing
Failure: Ruby thinks of you as weird
(Y/N)

Befriend a cute as hell girl? I think I'll slap that yes button's mother for that.

As I walked up to Ruby, I heard her mumbling to herself.

"Welcome to Beacon…" She said to herself, with some disappointment in her voice.

I didn't know what else to do, so I decided to offer my hand, and give the cheesiest line ever.

"Hey there, the name's Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, rolls off the tongue, ladies love it!" Don't fail me now acting skills I don't have…

A special action created skill [Acting]
Acting LV 1: +2% more convincing performances/personas

Don't fail me now, acting skills I already have…

Ruby looked up at me, took my hand, and started laughing.

"Aren't you the guy who threw up on the Bullhead?" She asked, still giggling to herself.

"Hey, all I'm saying is that motion sickness is a worse problem than people let on!" I argued, after Ruby make yet another joke, calling me 'Vomit Boy'. "And besides, I don't have a way of not getting sick," I added, earning a curious look from Ruby.

"Err… Hunters can't get sick," she started, scratching the back of her head. "Our Aura stops that, for the most part."

"What's Aura?" I asked innocently. Maybe that was the boost everyone had?

Ruby just stared at me as if I had two and a half heads. "You really don't know what Aura is? It's what makes hunters so strong! How did you get this far?" Ruby practically yelled, and before I could reply, she just grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down to eye level.

The only thing I was able to say was a small "Meep" sound. Truly, I am a manly, strong, elite fighter worthy of protecting this world.

Once I was down to Ruby's level, she started chanting. "As it is in striving for virtue we achieve immortality, we become beacons of hope. With my virtue, I release yours to share in the burden that is righteousness."

Oh the rush I got was intense. I needed to open my stats to see exactly what happened.

Name: Jaune Arc
Age: 17
Race: Human
Title: Nobody
LV: 2 (76%)
HP: 5062.5/5062.5
MP: 1800/1800 (+11 per Min)
AP: 4236.13/4238.13
STR: 12 +125%
DEX: 8 +125%
VIT: 15 +125%
INT: 12
WIS: 11
LUK: 5
Points: 5
Perks: Arc (+700% AP) (Aura Boosts X5), Gamer's Mind (100% Resistance to Mental afflictions), Gamer's Body (Damage shows in pain and HP, not body), Gamer's World (Loot defeated enemies, accept quests)
Title: No boosts
SPD: 36
26

My HP reached stupid amounts for my level, I unlocked AP, which I could only assume meant 'Aura Points', and my physical stats were more than doubled. Oh, and those tasty 'Arc' perks were tastier than I thought. And it appeared AP was drained to heal the 2 HP I lost from the icicle.

QUEST COMPLETE: Rose without Thorns
Main Task COMPLETE: +50 EXP, +Friendliness with Ruby Rose
Bonus Task COMPLETE: +50 EXP, +Aura
Secret Task (Actively flirt with Ruby Rose): FAILED

"That was… Invigorating, if nothing else," I said to myself dumbly, as I viewed my stats that were boosted. I looked over to Ruby, who was doubled over, panting.

"Aura, a lot, not ready for that," Ruby managed, before shaking her head. "I mean, I'm guessing you have even more Aura than me!"

I just gave a basic caveman grunt in response, trying to get over the sheer multiplier my Aura received. Then, I realized something I was missing; I had attribute points to spend! Five of them, to be specific, so I dumped three of them into STR, one into VIT, and for the hell of it, one into INT. I felt my body get stronger immediately, I felt my mind get clearer, and I could practically feel my life force get stronger. 'Whatever god decided to give me this 'Gamer' ability, I am willing to sacrifice some goats to you if you like,' I thought to myself, truly grateful for the stupidly awesome into my life. Less than 24 hours, and I've gone from scrub lord to comparable to my peers.

"So…" Ruby said, breaking me from my daze, "I've got this thing." At thing, she pulled a rectangle from behind her back, which unfolded into a scythe that appeared taller than myself.

My Gamer's Mind artificially calmed me down to the point where I barely flinched at the sudden appearance of the scythe. "That appeared out of nowhere," I mumbled in awe. It looked impressive, so I decided to give it a quick Observe.

Crescent Rose - Scythe/High Impact Sniper Rifle
Scythe - 170 Slashing
Sniper - 40 Ballistic

"A scythe with a rifle attachment?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "That's a nice combo."

Ruby looked ecstatic. "You think so? I put a lot of work into my baby, her name is Crescent Rose and she's the greatest weapon ever, if I do say so myself," She stated proudly, and in a matter-of-fact tone, and hugging her weapon in a way that seemed just a bit inappropriate.

After several seconds of… I'm not sure what to call that, Ruby looked at me sternly, right into my soul. "What kind of weapon do you have?"

I fumbled around my waist, reaching for Crocea Mors… Before all I could find was a standard sword in a not-also-a-shield-sheath. Giving it a look, the stats weren't too bad, but…

Iron Gladius - Sword
40 Slashing
DUR: 100/100

Observing your weapon created skill [Sword]
Sword LV 8: +16% DMG with Sword weapons, +8% Striking speed with Sword Weapons

Huh, the system accounted for the little self training I did beforehand. That's nice to know. Better abuse that in the future.

Your planning to use the 'Gamer' ability earns you 1 WIS!

System, you are a godsend. Anyway, turning back my attention to Ruby, I held out the sword that replaced Crocea Mors, presumably as 'Starting Loot,'

"It's nothing fancy, but it cuts well enough," I lied, netting me another level in my acting skill.

Ruby took the blade from my hand and inspected it. "It's heavy, compared to most other swords hunters use, but it's got a clean edge to it," Ruby muttered, then handed it back to me.

Little did I know that talking to Ruby for so long would make me late for the headmaster's speech. How did I know this? Because a PA system blared out the words "All first-year students, please make your way to the auditorium."

QUEST: Intro to Beacon
Task: Get to Beacon's Auditorium on time (00:07:59 remaining)
Bonus Task: Find another nice, quirky girl to talk to there
Secret Task: ?
Declination: Miss the headmaster's speech
Failure: Be late
Completion: 50 EXP
Bonus Completion: 75 EXP
Secret Completion: 75 EXP, 1 Jewelry Equipable

Aaaaaand Ruby was gone in a puff of rose petals in some direction. I decided to follow the trail, hoping it would get me somewhere, punching the yes button without thinking.

I made it to the auditorium with less than a minute to spare, and I saw Ruby beside that Yang girl.

"I guess this is where I to that bonus objective," I mumbled to myself before using observe on some people around the room. Most levels were averaging around 25, but this one girl I observed made me raise my eyebrows.

Name: Pyrrha Nikos
Age: 17
Title: Iron Queen
Race: Human
LV: ?

A first-year that had a level above what I could read? From my estimates, I could read 30 levels above my own, meaning this girl was monstrously powerful. And somewhat familiar, though I couldn't place my finger on it.

And was staring right at me. Because who wouldn't notice someone less than five feet away staring right at them?

"Sorry, didn't mean to stare," I said sheepishly, and turned my head away from those piercing green eyes, and burning red hair… Seriously, was this a school for fighting, or for supermodels?

"Oh, don't worry about it, I'm used to it," Pyrrha said in possibly the best voice I've heard in my life… 'EYES ON THE PRIZE ARC, YOU'RE HERE TO BECOME AN AWESOME FIGHTER!' I yelled to myself before my thoughts drifted to… things.

"Well, I'm Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, and the ladies love it," I said, extending my hand towards her, giving a cheesy smile. "I didn't catch your name."

Pyrrha looked honestly surprised at my gesture. "Well, I'm Pyrrha Nikos," She said, before taking my hand, shaking it politely, and saying, "Though you probably recognized me by now."

"Not in the least," I replied. I know I heard her name somewhere, but I couldn't place it. And before I could question where I've heard her name, the headmaster stepped up onto the stage. I, of course, used observe on him.

Ozpin

That's it!? Just how strong was this guy?

"You are here to prove yourselves, in valour, strength, and strategy, but all I see here is wasted energy, all in need of purpose, direction. While you may think you know what path you've chosen," Ozpin paused for a second, and appeared to stare directly at me, "I can assure you, this is not a game. There is no one set path people take. That is all."

That was… chilling, to say the least. Then, a blond, and quite frankly beautiful, huntress took the stage.

Glynda Goodwitch
Age: 42
Race: Human
Title: Dominating Witch
LV: ?

What a title.

"All first-years will sleep in the ballroom tonight, then report to the cliffs by 8 AM. Dismissed," Goodwitch said sternly, not looking up from a tablet she was carrying.

QUEST COMPLETE: Intro to Beacon
Main Task COMPLETE: +50 EXP
Bonus Task COMPLETE: +75 EXP
Secret Task (Observe Ozpin) COMPLETE: +75 EXP, +1 Old World Amulet

You leveled up to LV 3! You have 5 Points to spend!
Old World Amulet added to inventory!

A level, and an equipable? Nice.

I opened my inventory, noting that it could hold infinite weight, but not more than fifty of any item, and, after finding a secluded spot, pulled out my amulet and observed it.

Old World Amulet - Necklace
+20 per Min HP regen, +40 per Min AP regen, +25% better item find
"In the days before hunters, dust, and Aura, the people would pray to their Gods for protection against the Grimm. This is said to be one of the gifts the Gods bestowed upon Mankind." - Unknown

This item's flavour text was pretty cool, and the regens and item find abilities were awesome. The amulet itself was in the shape of an upside down triangle with a diagram of a male human in the centre. I immediately placed it around my neck, and shoved it under my plated hoodie.

I decided to give my stats one more look before I headed to the ballroom to set up camp.

Name: Jaune Arc
Age: 17
Race: Human
Title: Nobody
LV: 3 (14%)
HP: 5400/5400
MP: 1800/1800
AP: 5602.5/5602.5
STR: 15 +125%
DEX: 8 +125%
VIT: 16 +125%
INT: 13
WIS: 12
LUK: 5
Points: 5
Perks: Arc (+700% AP) (Aura Boosts X5), Gamer's Mind (100% Resistance to Mental afflictions), Gamer's Body (Damage shows in pain and HP, not body), Gamer's World (Loot defeated enemies, accept quests)
Title: No boosts
SPD: 36

My AP… So tasty…

DID YOUR TABLES WITHSTAND MY WRITING? Yes? Okay.

THIS IS I, YOUR LORD AND MASTER OF TABLES, SAYING…

Desk off.

But in all seriousness, I have formulas for this fanfic, stats, you name it. Unless perks/skills/titles change things, the points go like this:

HP = VIT x 150 or VIT x 15 if Aura locked

MP = INT x 150 or INT x 15 if Aura locked

AP = Such a convoluted equation that you'll have to take my word for it, but it relies on levels.

So for realsies this time, Desk Off.