Bunk One

After the death of beloved inmate and friend Poussey Washington, everyone of the inmates, even the ones that didn't know her quite as well, had some mourning of their own extent to do. Tiffany Doggett (Pennsatucky) and Carrie Black (Big Boo) spent their time eating their commissary away and cracking jokes. Nicky Nichols held a saddened Lorna Morello as Norma Romano calmed Brook Soso's sobs with her soothing vocal talents. Tasha Jefferson (Taystee), Cindy Hayes (Black Cindy), Suzanne Warren (Crazy Eyes), and Janae Watson did everything they could to occupy their minds in hopes of avoiding another riot. Everyone had been handling their emotions pretty well as the days passed, but in every situation there's always that one person who just cannot let it go. There's always one person who blames themselves for the bad, linking it all back to their mistakes. In this case, that person happens to be who people would least expect, given her scary badass persona.

Alex Vause.

Vause managed to play it cool. She'd tell her love Piper Chapman that she was fine every time she checked on her, and she would assure Galina Reznikof (Red) that she wasn't going to crack. But as the days passed, the inmate had more and more time to rethink the recent events and every time she would, it shook her down a little more. It continued like this for days. Chapman would regularly sit with Vause and make sure she's okay while Red would keep her eye on the weakening woman. Vause never showed any sign of weakness, until one day she just couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand living in her reality, and her mind was worse. She was drowning in guilt. Her frequent rendezvous with her not so former flame Chapman would give her just enough relief to scrape by, but as the time passed and the guilt grew, the effect of her love's presence began to fade. Just looking at Chapman always ignited a special fire within that never ceased to put a smile on her face, but she felt the guilt seeping through until it extinguished even the strongest parts of that fire.

"Alex, Red's made something special today to honor...it smells like real food. You coming?" Chapman asked her companion as she approached her bunk. She scanned the composure of the dark haired girl, noting the way she couldn't see her face. She heard sniffs coming from where her face hid behind her knees and immediately went into concerned Piper mode. "Alex?" She sat on the bunk next to her and gently pushed the dark strands of hair behind her ear. Vause's head emerged from its hiding place, revealing the red puffiness that her superfluous tears had created. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" Chapman's voice was soft as she gently wiped the tears from Vause's cheeks. Vause closed her eyes at the touch and answered the inmate's question with a whisper, "This is my fault, Piper."

"What are you talking about? You've been sitting here all day, you couldn't have clogged the good toilet."

"What? No, I mean this is my fault. The death, the riot, everything. It's all on me."

"Alex, no. Poussey was Piscatella's fault. He didn't properly train the CO's and he ordered inexperienced Bayley to maintain Crazy. It's his fault, not yours."

"We never would have been in that situation if I hadn't killed Aydin."

"You may be right, but in doing so, you saved a life."

"I don't think it really counts as heroic if that life was my own, Pipes." With those words, Chapman moved to sit in front of the woman. She climbed between her legs and gently held her face up to look at her, "It counts if it's my life."

"What are you talking about, Piper? He wasn't after you. How did I save your life?"

"Because I love you." She answered quickly. "I love you and everyone knows it, including Kubra. He's a clever man, Alex. I'm sure he knew that if he killed you and I found out, I would send his ass to prison the moment I was presented with the opportunity. I'd want him to feel the pain that I would feel if he took you from me permanently, so he'd come after me next. If you would have been the one buried in that garden, I'd be the next one on the hit list. You did what you had to do."

"And letting Red be abused in interrogation and Lolly go down for this is what I had to do? You should've just let me confess."

"If I would have let you, it wouldn't do any good. Lolly would've still been sent to psych, and you would have been sent to MAX. I need you here, Alex."

"That's a selfish thing to say at a time like this, Piper. I let my friends take the brunt of this, and for what? Because I'm afraid? Because you need me here? Because sex with me is the only thing that feels normal to you in this God forsaken hellhole?" She pushed Chapman's hands from her face as she began to get heated, "We're selfish, Piper. We're manipulative, selfish, condescending bitches who will do whatever it takes to get what we want. We've dragged each other and the people around us in and out of Hell again and again just so we can be together. It's bullshit."

"I know you're just venting right now and you don't really mean it, but that stings." Chapman mumbled as she moved back into the space next to Vause. "No, I do mean it, Piper. I love you, God I fucking love you, Pipes. But I mean what I said."

"I know, I know that we have been anything but easy for anyone," She gently took Vause's hand and kissed it softly, "But that's love. It's complicated and confusing, but it's the best feeling in the world."

"Yeah? And what is that feeling?" Vause asked with a slight sarcastic laugh. "It's different for everyone. For me it's like coming home after a long trip. Home is where love is, it's like coming home." She smiles over at the inmate next to her, "When I'm with you, I feel like I'm home. Even in here, all you have to do is look at me and I feel like I'm right where I am supposed to be." With a small smile, Vause leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Chapman's lips, "You know exactly what it takes to keep me sane."

"I know you." Chapman whispered and kissed her cheek, "What's love for you?"

"Me?" Vause's question was answered with a small nod. "You." She answered simply, "No, no, no. There's got to be more than that. Come on, Vause, spill." She let out a sigh and looked away from the blonde. "I don't know, um... I guess it's being able to depend on someone through thick and thin. Even when you're at worst and you turn your backs on each other, you always find your way back and it's just easy to trust each other again and go back to the way things used to be. You know, it's that one person that you're never afraid to talk to about anything and you feel so comfortable and unjudged when you're with them. It's you, Pipes." Her eyes return to look at her love, "Why are you crying?"

"I love you, Alex."

"I don't know why. I'm the whole reason you're in here in the first place."

"Yeah, yeah you are. But I can't say it's all bad. I'm with you. Eight years away from you was enough, I'm not leaving you again."

"You better not." Chapman released a giggle as she climbed into her arms, "I love you, too, Pipes. After all of the shit we've put each other through, we're doomed to be together."

"Hey, that's my line." Vause chuckled as she carefully pinned her to the bed and engaged in a passionate make out session, their hands everywhere. "Inmates, break it up!" The familiar voice of CO Donaldson boomed from doorway of the bunk, "At ease, admiral." Vause returns the demand with a smart ass remark that made Chapman explode in giggles, "I'm trying to have a very needed private moment with my girlfriend." Being familiar with all of the inmates and their stories, even after returning to the job that was taken from him, CO Donaldson backed off.

"Let the record show I tried." He said with a slight smile directed to the girls before walking off, leaving them to it. Vause looked back down at the beauty lying beneath her, "God I missed these guards." She mumbled before she was pulled back into their passionate moment.

"Look at her, though." Nicky sat with the rest of her "prison family", gawking at the poor heartbroken Taystee. "She just lost someone important to her, its natural to not look tour best after something like that." Yogo Jones inputs her opinion, "I mean, you should've seen Morello after you were to MAX."

"You were sad?" Nicky gave Morello a surprised expression. "Well, of course. You're the only person who really cared about me, you know? Just because we're not fucking anymore doesn't mean I just stopped caring."

"You're sweet, you know that?" Seeing that she's sincere, Morello gives her ex lover a small smile.

"We should do something." Big Boo speaks up after a few minutes of silence pass by, "She gave us a bottle of hooch when Tricia passed. We should do something for them."

"She's right. Its only fair, and that girl was a good girl. She didn't deserve what happened." Nicky agreed. "What are we talking about?" Chapman asked as she and Vause approached the group, arms looped around each other. "Hey, look who decided to join us. Not lesbians, where have you been?"

"You know, not lesbianing together." Vause gave a normal smartass-y, Vause-y response. "Nice."

"Glad you're here, Chapman." Boo stood up for a better view of the blonde she's speaking to, who gave her a confused look. "You are? That's new."

"Yeah, well...we want to do something for Washington, and we know you're, you."

"You need my help?"

"Yeah." She looked around the table at each girl, "Is this going to be like when I tried to plan a memorial for Tricia?"

"No, we actually want this one."

"And Taystee? How do we know that isn't just shoving it in her face?"

"If it is, then she doesn't have to attend. We're just trying to do something nice for them, Chapman. C'mon." She pondered it for a minute, "Fine. I'll help you."

"Great. You figure out how to get the blacks to come and we'll worry about the set up."

Vause placed a gentle kiss on Chapman's temple, "You're dumb, you know that?" Piper chuckled a little, pulling a smile from Alex, "But you're good. I love that about you." She pulled her close and kissed her neck, sliding her hands under her shirt. "There's a lot of things I love about you."

"Yeah?" Piper whispered, a smile plastered on her face, "Like what?"

"Inmates, no touching." Both heads shot toward the CO, "You heard me, no touching. Unless you both want shots."

"That's not necessary. Sweetie, let go." Piper gently removed Alex's hands from around her and stepped away slightly. "Never thought we'd see him again." Alex just shrugged a little, "I guess I'll have to show you those reasons later."

"I guess you will." They shared a quick moment before sitting with their friends for their barely edible lunch.