I RETURN! And with insanity! Enjoy. (The candle saga is happening much earlier here. Three guesses why. :p)

*PR*PR*PR*

Kimberly was about to completely freak out.

The Putties that had attacked them were winning. She couldn't reach her morpher, and Tommy was just standing with the Putties around him, staring at a bird. "Tommy!" She shouted, trying to bring him back to reality. "I can't reach my morpher!"

"...Hey! There's a bird!"

"Tommy! Morph!"

Goldar appeared, cackling. "Ah, trouble in paradise, Pink Ranger?"

"What do you want, metalhead?" Kimberly shouted, trying to keep the focus off Tommy. She all too well remembered the last time Rita's plan had focused on kidnapping him.

"I want him."

Goldar stabbed his sword into the ground, teleporting away both Tommy and the Putties. "Say goodbye, Kimberly!" Goldar cackled. "You'll never see the White Ranger again!"

He vanished in a flare of fire.

Kimberly raised her morpher to her lips, shaking. "Uh, Zordon? We've got a problem."

*PR*PR*PR*

Tommy found himself in the Dark Dimensions.

He didn't like the Dark Dimensions. They were big and spooky and nasty. He'd liked them last time, but right now he wasn't all depressed and emo, so he didn't like them at all. And most disappointingly, they didn't have any explosives, either.

"Just like old times, isn't it, Tommy?" Goldar cackled.

"Ooh!" Tommy brightened. "Do I get paint?"

Goldar actually flinched.

One of the Putties handed Goldar Tommy's morpher, and he grinned. "Leave us!" He ordered the Putties, chuckling as they vanished. Tommy sighed and rubbed his arms. Man, they didn't know how to not cut off blood cir-oooh! Candle! Tommy grinned and poked it.

"Don't you want to know what's going on?"

"Nah, you'll tell me anyway." Tommy looved candles, they were all pretty and smelled nice and you could poke your finger in the wax and it would peel off all interesting.

Goldar stared, slightly wrong-footed, but shook his head and said, "Rita will offer you a second chance. Join her, or lose your powers as the candle fades!"

Tommy blinked. Then, taking the logical course of action, blew out the candle he was playing with.

"...No. A different candle." Goldar stepped aside. A white candle glowed and sparkled behind him. "It's made of very special wax, and when it burns out...your powers will be gone!"

Tommy frowned. "Uh...you're serious?"

"...Yes."

"You're sure."

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Because people lie sometimes. And it hurts my feelings." Tommy pouted.

Goldar rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I am not lying. And I do not care about your feelings."

Tommy glared. "You're mean." He glanced to the left and remembered the candle. "I'm gonna blow the candle out. Meanie."

"Go ahead and try." Goldar sneered.

The following fight wasn't that bad. Tommy, for all his insanity, was an amazingly talented fighter. But Goldar was winning.

"You are doomed!" He informed Tommy, cackling.

Tommy rolled his eyes-ooh! Candle! Shiny!

*PR*PR*PR*

"Guys, this is bad, bad bad bad." Kimberly said, walking around all but flapping her hands. "Rita's got him again. We're going to go in there and he'll have blown everything up and then we'll be murderers because we let him out and-"

"Kim. Breathe." Jason stepped over to Billy. "Any luck?"

"Negative, I'm still attempting to lock on Tommy's morpher frequency." Billy said. "And let's just hope he's got the intelligence to use it."

Jason caught the last, but ignored it. "Zordon, any guesses?"

"HE IS PROBABLY IN THE DARK DIMENSIONS. WE MUST KEEP TRYING, BUT THERE MAY NOT BE ANY SIGNAL TO LOCK ONTO."

Well, of all the ways to win a war, winning via enemy stupidity wasn't the worst. Jason shut his eyes and tried not to imagine Tommy's mangled body in the flames. It would be okay. He'd done dumber things and survived. And he might even get rid of-

The alarms blared, and the Rangers turned to the viewing globe.

"THE WHITE TIGERZORD IS ATTACKING DOWNTOWN." Zordon said unnecessarily.

Jason sighed. "Okay, guys. It's morphing time."

Tommy, hold on.

"I am called away to battle!" Goldar roared triumphantly.

Tommy, who by this point was trying to cover one of his shoes in wax from a candle, glanced up hopefully. "Really? So I can go?"

"Don't get any ideas, White Ranger." Goldar snarled.

Tommy put the candle aside, grinning. "But you have to go. So I can go do something not boring." Well, he had to blow out the White Candle first, but still.

Goldar grinned and pointed his sword. Chains of gold light appeared around Tommy's wrists, binding them at his sides. Goldar cackled and left.

Tommy blinked.

Yes, he was gone. Tommy walked forward, shaking his head, and blew out the candle.

It went out.

Anticlimactic. Tommy pouted, then started wandering around, deciding to kill time until Jason showed up.

It was going to be a long, boring wait. Fortunately, Goldar showed up fifteen minutes later. Tommy jumped to his feet, awkwardly given the chains, grinning. Yay! People!

Goldar stared at the candle, then Tommy.

"Oh, I blew it out."

Goldar pointed his sword at the candle and lit it again.

"Hey! You meanie!" Tommy pouted.

"Care to try again?" Goldar asked, smirking.

Tommy growled and charged. The chains fell away, Goldar clearly anticipating another easy win. This time, though, Tommy punched lower. Goldar made a high-pitched whimpering noise that made Tommy snicker, and then Tommy grabbed the sword and plunged it down.

They were out! Ha! Tommy pulled out his morpher, shouting out his morphing call gleefully. Fighting time!

*PR*PR*PR*

"So you got out, and you didn't grab the candle?"

Tommy frowned. "But it wasn't real. I mean, she couldn't have been serious, right?"

The entire group facepalmed.

"I'M AFRAID SHE WAS QUITE SERIOUS, TOMMY. THE SPELL IS NOT A DIFFICULT ONE, AND I AM QUITE FRANKLY SURPRISED SHE HAS NOT TRIED THIS BEFORE." Zordon informed him.

"Tommy, we're dealing with a sorceress." Trini pointed out. "Remember what I taught you?"

"Always assume the worst." Tommy rolled his eyes, then stared at the ground sheepishly. "Yeah. Uh. Oops."

Jason clapped him on the back. "Hey. You're alive, and that's what counts." He reassured his brother-in-crime, the wheels of his brain turning. "Anyway, we can use this to our advantage."

"Really?" Tommy asked eagerly. "How?"

Jason grinned. "How would you like to be the Green Ranger?"

*PR*PR*PR*

"So that's it?"

"Yep." Jason grinned proudly. "Great plan or what?"

"Bro, this is sooo weird." Tommy grinned, poking his White Power Coin. "Like, it's there, but it's not, you know?" His grin got brighter. "Oooh. Can I make stuff go boom?"

"That's the plan."

"ONCE AGAIN, JASON, I FEEL I SHOULD WARN AGAINST LETTING TOMMY ACT IN SECRET." Zordon attempted, somehow managing not to add 'or without a helmet'.

"He's great at strategy and great at following orders." Jason clapped Tommy on the back. "Ladies and gentlemen, our secret weapon against the forces of evil: Green Ranger Tommy Oliver!"

A cheer went up.

"Pizza!" Tommy shouted suddenly, diving for it. The others laughed and followed, save Jason.

"JASON," Zordon asked, "WHY WAS I NOT CONSULTED ABOUT THIS?"

"I don't know." Jason said nonchalantly. "Why'd you pick teenagers instead of Marines?"

In Zordon's silence, Jason grabbed a slice of pizza. He wouldn't get an answer anytime soon. But then, he probably didn't need one.