Well, don't expect another update for this story as quickly. I just happened to be on a roll. Plus, the first few chapters of this story are the ones closest to the original book since they set things up and introduce the two main characters. Once they actually set out, it'll be easier to start showing larger changes.

"Trust me. What are friends for?" – M. Brutus

Aahz scowled and repeated the gesture, a little quicker this time.

The scene remained exactly the same.

I decided that something must be wrong. And with that decision came the very wise and logical course of action that I immediately implemented.

"Is something wrong?" I asked politely.

"You'd better believe something's wrong," Aahz snarled. "It's not working."

"Are you sure you're doing it right?"

"Yes, I'm sure I'm doing it right, just like I've been sure the last fifty times I did it!"

He was starting to sound annoyed. That made me a little nervous.

"Can you—"

"Look, kid. If I knew what was wrong, I'd have already fixed it. Now shut up and just let me think!"

I snapped my mouth shut and even took a step back. He sank down to sit cross-legged in the center of the pentagram where he began sketching vague patterns on the floor as he mumbled darkly to himself. I wasn't certain if he was trying some alternate incantation or was simply thinking hard, but I decided it would be unwise to ask. Instead, for my continued health and hope of not distracting the agitated demon, I silently tried to organize my scrambled thoughts.

I still wasn't sure if Aahz was a danger to me or if he was my only possible salvation from a greater threat. I mean, I was at least partially sure he was kidding about ripping my heart out, but that's the sort of thing one wants to be completely certain about. One thing I had learned for sure that evening, there was more to this magik stuff than floating feathers around.

"That's got to be it!"

Aahz snapped to his feet again, glaring at Garkin's body. The expression didn't exactly demonstrate much respect for the recently departed. And it didn't get any better as he continued to shout.

"That ill-begot son of a wombat!"

"What's a wombat?" I asked before immediately regretting it; the mental image that sprang to mind was so horrifying that I was certain I didn't want details.

I shouldn't have worried. Aahz wasn't about to take the time to answer me. He seemed to be on a roll, yelling at the corpse.

"Well, that's a pretty crummy joke. That's all I have to say."

"Um… What are you talking about, Aahz?"

"I'm talking about Garkin! He did this to me," he said, gesturing at the body sharply. "If I thought it would go this far, I would have turned him into a goat-fish when I had the chance."

"Aahz… I still don't…"

I trailed off, my voice deserting me. He had ceased his ranting and was looking at me again. I shrank back reflexively before I recognize the snarl as a smile. The sharp teeth as long as the palm of my hand made it hard to tell. I still wasn't sure what was happening now, but I liked it better when he was raving.

"I'm sorry, Skeeve," he purred. "I guess I haven't been very clear."

"I resisted the urge to back away again. I would start hitting something if I kept doing that. I felt myself growing more uneasy by the minute. I wasn't used to people, much less demons, being nice to me. Before or after I ran away, it just didn't happen.

"Um… That's okay. I was just wondering…"

"You see, here's the situation. Garkin and I have been… playing little jokes on each other for quite some time now. It all started when we were drinking and he stiffed me with the bill. So the next time I summoned him, I brought him in over a lake and he was forced to do his demon act armpit deep in water. He got even by… well, I won't bore you with the details, but we developed a habit of putting each other in awkward or embarrassing situations. It's really very childish, but completely harmless. But this time…" Aahz's eyes narrowed. "This time the old frog-kisser's gone too… I mean, it seems things have gotten a little out of hand. Don't you agree?"

He bared his fangs at me again in an unnerving smile. I wanted very badly to agree with him and the sharp teeth directed towards me, but I didn't have the slightest idea what he was talking about. And I knew it was dangerous to agree with anyone or to agree to anything without knowing what it was. I would have to ask and hope the predatory smile remained a smile.

"You still haven't told me what's wrong."

"What's wrong is that stinking slime-monger took away my powers!" he roared, making me flinch and stumble to the dirt floor as he lost his composure. "I'm blocked! I can't do a flaming thing until he removes his stupid prankish spell and he can't because he's dead! Now do you get it, fly-bait?"

Scrambling back upright, I tried to slow my racing heart. I made up my mind. Savior or not, I'd rather he went back to wherever he came from. I'd just run and hide from the Isstvan person on my own.

"Well, I wish there was something I could do…"

"There is, Skeeve, my boy." Aahz suddenly became all purrs and teeth again. "All you need to do is fire up the old cauldron or whatever it takes to remove this spell. Then we can go our separate ways and—"

"I can't do that."

"Okay, kid," he said, his smile a bit more forced. "I'll stick around until you're on your feet. After all, what are friends for?"

"That's not it."

"What do you want? Blood?" His smile had vanished completely now. "If you're trying to go for extortion, I'll—"

"You don't understand!" I interrupted desperately. "I can't do it because I can't do it. I don't know how."

That stopped him shortly. He blinked briefly as he processed my words.

"Hmm. That could be a bit of a problem. Well, that's fine. Instead of pulling the spell here, how about you just pop me back to my home dimension and I'll get someone there to take it off."

"I can't do that either. Remember? I told you I'd never even heard—"

"Well, what can you do?!"

"I can levitate objects… small ones, at least…"

"And?" he encouraged.

"And… light a candle?"

"Light a candle?"

"Well… almost," I admitted, my cheeks growing warm. "I came really close last time."

Embarrassment washed over me as I mentioned my failure to the demon. But I didn't know why. Why should I care about his opinion? But my only other successful spell was the one I couldn't mention. The secret-hiding spell worked best when kept secret. So I could only admit to floating stuff and my inability to create fire. Neither trait inspired confidence.

Aahz sank heavily into a chair and hid his face in his hands for several minutes. I waited for him to think of something.

"Kid, have you got anything in this dump to drink?" he asked finally.

"I'll get you some water."

'I said something to drink, not to wash with!"

"Oh. Right away!"

I scurried to bring him a goblet of wine Garkin kept, hoping he wouldn't notice the container wasn't particularly clean. I didn't have many dishes to choose from in the small hut.

"What will this do? Will it help fix your powers?"

"No. But it might make me feel a little better." He tossed the wine down his throat in one swallow before studying the goblet disdainfully. "Is this the biggest container you've got here?"

I glanced around the room desperately, but Aahz didn't want to wait for an answer. He rose from the chair, strolled into the pentagram again, and picked up the brazier. I knew from past experience the thing was deceptively heavy, but he lifted and carried it to the keg as if it didn't weigh anything. And not even bothering to empty out Garkin's concoction, he filled it to the brim with wine and took a deep draught.

"Aah, that's better," he said as he finally lowered the brazier again.

I felt a little queasy. I knew most of those ingredients couldn't be considered edible by any stretch of the imagination. Granted, I didn't know what half the ingredients for that last spell were, but those that I did know Garkin tended to keep were unpleasant.

"Well, kid," he said, turning towards me with an appraising stare, "it looks like we're stuck with each other. The setup isn't ideal, but it's what we've got. Time to bite the bullet and play the cards we're dealt. You do know what cards are, don't you?"

"Of course," I said, slightly insulted.

"Good."

"What's a bullet?"

Aahz closed his eyes as if struggling against some type of inner turmoil.

"Kid," he said slowly, "there's a good chance this partnership is going to drive one of us crazy. I'd guess it'll be me unless you can knock off the dum-dum questions every other sentence."

"But I can't understand half of what you're talking about. How am I supposed to keep up?"

"Hmm. Tell you what. Try to save up the questions and ask me all at one time once a day. Okay?"

"All right. I'll try."

"Right. Now here's the situation as I see it. If Isstvan is hiring Imps as assassins—"

"What's an Imp?"

"Kid, will you give me a break?"

"I'm sorry, Aahz, I'll stop. You can keep going."

"Right. Well… umm… It's happening!" he made his appeal to the heavens. "I can't even remember what I was saying!"

"Assassin Imps," I prompted.

"Oh, right. Well, if he's hiring Imps and arming them with non-spec weapons, it can only mean he's up to his old tricks. Now since I don't have my powers, I can't get out of here to sound the alarm. That's where you come in, kid… Kid?"

He looked at me expectantly, but I found I could not contain my growing misery any longer.

"I'm sorry, Aahz," I said in a small, pitiful voice I hardly recognized. "I don't understand a single thing you've said."

I suddenly realized I was about to cry and quickly turned away so he wouldn't see. I couldn't remember the last time that I cried. It might have been when my mother died. I'd avoided crying for several years. Tears were not useful for maintaining my secret.

But today had been impossibly stressful and horrible. Even if I didn't really like Garkin that much, he'd been my teacher for four years. And now he was dead. He was killed right in front of me and there was someone else out there who might want to kill me too. And I didn't know what I was going to do next or what would happen. Everything I knew had turned upside down and I was being overwhelmed with so many things that I couldn't understand. It was too much.

I stood there, tears trickling down my cheeks while alternating between fighting the urge to wipe them away and wondering why I was concerned over whether or not a demon saw me crying. He wouldn't figure out my secret and it shouldn't matter if he saw me break down. But it did matter and I did care. I don't know how long I stayed that way, trying to wrestle my emotions back under control, but I was brought back to reality by a gentle hand on my shoulder. A cold, gentle hand.

"Hey, kid. Don't beat up on yourself like that," Aahz said, his voice surprisingly sympathetic. "It's not your fault if Garkin kept so many secrets from you. I'm really starting to question his teaching method, honestly. Nobody expects you to know something you were never taught, so there's no reason you should expect it either."

"I just feel so stupid," I said, not turning back around. "Stupid and useless."

"You aren't, kid. That much I can tell. Garkin wouldn't have brought you on as an apprentice if you were. If anybody here is stupid, it's me. I got so carried away with everything, I forgot myself and tried talking to an apprentice as if he were a full-blown magician. Now that's stupid."

I rubbed my arms briefly, still unable to respond. I couldn't really bring myself to believe his words. A lifetime of hearing that girls were useless and shouldn't be entrusted with anything important couldn't be completely ignored or forgotten. Sometimes I could put it out of my mind, but other times it would come roaring back to remind me that I wasn't meant for this life. A boy would have figured it out and understood more. I was certain of it.

"And don't forget, kid." He gave my shoulder a gentle shake. "Right now you can do more magik than I can."

"But you know more."

"But I can't use it. You know, kid, that gives me an idea. With Garkin dead now, you're kind of left dangling. What do you say to the idea of signing on as my apprentice for a while? We'll take it from the top, teaching you as if you were a new student who doesn't know a thing. We'll take it step by step from the top. What do you say?"

In spite of my gloom, I could feel my spirits begin to lift. Maybe he was right and I wasn't stupid. I certainly could recognize a golden opportunity when I saw it. Considering everything that was happening, it was the best outcome that I could ever hope for. And I knew when to pounce on the once-in-a-lifetime chance.

"Yes. That sounds great, Aahz."

"Then it's a deal?"

"It's a deal," I said and stuck out my hand.

"What?" he snarled. "Isn't my word good enough for you?"

"But you said—"

"That's right. You're my apprentice now and I don't go around shaking apprentices' hands."

I silently withdrew my hand. I should have known. Why should this alliance be all roses and songs? Nothing else in life ever was. But at least he could have been worse.

"Now as I was saying, here's what we've got to do about the current problem—"

"But I haven't had any lessons yet!"

"That's right, kid. Here's your first lesson. When a crisis shows up, you don't waste energy hoping for information or skills you haven't got. You dig in and handle it as best you can with what you've got. Now shut up while I fill you in on the situation… apprentice."

Without any further prompting, I shut up and prepared to listen. He studied me for a moment. Then he gave a small satisfied nod, took another gulp from the brazier, and began talking.

"Now, you have a vague idea about other dimensions since I explained about them earlier. You also have some first-hand experience that magicians can open passages in the barriers between dimensions. Well, different magicians use that power in different ways. Some, like Garkin, only use it to impress the local yokels; summon a demon, visions of other worlds, that kind of shtick. But there are others with more complex motives."

He paused to take another gulp of wine. Surprisingly, I felt no urge to interrupt with questions. Nothing seemed too complicated so far.

"Technology in different dimensions has progressed at different rates, as has magik. Some magicians use that fact to make a profit. They aren't showmen. They're smugglers, buying and selling technology across the barriers for money and power. Most of the inventors in any dimension are actually magicians."

I must have frowned without realizing it, but Aahz noticed. He acknowledged my reaction with a wink and a smirk.

"I know what you're thinking, Skeeve. They're actually a fairly ethical bunch. There's a set of unwritten rules called the Smuggler's Code they stick to pretty close."

"Smuggler's Code?" I asked, forgetting for a moment about my intention to keep quiet.

Not seeming to mind the minor interruption, Aahz explained, "It's like the Mercenaries' Code, but less violent and more profitable. Anyway, as an example, one item in the code states you cannot bring an 'invention' into a dimension that is far too advanced for that dimension's technology. Like not bringing guided missiles into a longbow culture or lasers into a flint and powder era."

There were so many words in that sentence that didn't make any sense. Somehow I managed to keep my silence, albeit with an extreme amount of difficulty.

"As I said, most magicians keep to that code fairly closely, but every once in a while… a bad one crops up. Which brings us back to Isstvan."

A sudden chill ran up my spine at the sound of that name. Maybe there was something different about how Aahz pronounced it.

"Some say Isstvan isn't playing with a full deck. I think he's been playing with more volatile forms of magik for too long and it's messed with his brain. But whatever the reason, somewhere along the way he's gotten it into this head that he wants to rule the dimensions. All of them. He's tried it before, but we caught wind of it in time and a bunch of us teamed up to teach him a lesson. In fact, that was about the time I first met Garkin."

He gestured with the brazier and splashed a bit more wine on the floor. I started doubting his sobriety, but his voice seemed steady as he continued.

"I thought he gave up the whole idea after his last attempt. We even gave him a few souvenirs to be sure he wouldn't forget. And now this happens. If he's hiring cross-dimensional help and arming them with advanced technological weapons, then he's probably trying to do it again."

"Do what?"

"I told you. Take over the dimensions."

"But how?" I asked. "How does what he does in this dimension help him rule another? How would that work?"

"Oh, that. Well, each dimension has a certain amount of power that can be channeled or converted into magik. Different dimensions have different amounts and it is all shared by the magicians of that dimension. If Isstvan can succeed in controlling or killing the other magicians in this dimension, he can use its entire magical energy to attack another dimension. If he succeeds in winning there, he has the power from two dimensions to attack a third and so on. The longer he keeps going, the stronger he gets and the harder he'll be to stop."

"I actually understand that," I said, rather pleased about it.

"Good. Then you know why we've got to stop him."

All my enthusiasm about understanding the complicated explanation abruptly evaporated.

"Wait. We? You mean us? You and me?"

"I know it's not much of a force, kid. But it's all we've got."

"Then we've got nothing."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. Strange worlds filled with demon magicians? I could accept that with a little explanation. An evil and powerful magician who wanted to take over all dimensions? That makes sense. Someone thinking I could help stop that evil and powerful magician? Impossible.

Even after four years of learning magik, it didn't change the fact I would never be meant for anything important or vital. The best I could hope for was a mundane life where I simply survived with the skills I picked up and where no one hurt me. Any greater goal I might attempt was doomed to failure. Even running away, disguising my gender, and becoming an apprentice was pushing it. What Aahz was suggesting would never work. We couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

"Don't exaggerate, kid. Now, we've got a lot of work to accomplish and you're going to need all the practice time you can get if we're going to stop Isstvan. Bonkers or not, he's no slouch when it comes to magik."

"Aahz," I said slowly, not looking up. "I can't do this. I can't. I'm sorry. If you depend on me for something this crucial, I'll only let you down. No matter how much you can teach me, it won't work. Some people aren't meant for this."

"Kid, give me some credit here. With a few lessons, you'll get a bit more confidence and you'll be fine."

Finally meeting his eyes and resigning myself to what was happening, I asked, "Tell me the truth. Do you honestly think there's a chance you can teach me enough magik in time to be able to stop him?"

"Of course, kid. I wouldn't even try this if we didn't have a chance. Trust me."

I wasn't convinced. And from the sound of his voice, neither was he.

I've discovered that if I want to mimic Robert Asprin's writing style, I have to use a lot more explanation marks than I usually do. I generally use maybe a couple in a story if any. He uses half a dozen a chapter or more.