How to (Be) Tame(d) (by) A Fox
She took a step forward. He took two steps back.
"Senpai you jerk!" loudly cried Isshiki as she ran to a direction away from me, her hand covering her mouth, and her other hand, along with its connecting arm, hugging her abdomen, her flaxen hair and fairly short skirt swaying along with her movement. She may or may not be in tears, I can't say for sure. What I'm sure of though is that she wants to be away from me.
This should be the moment where I ask myself "Should I go after her or not?". This should be the point where I ask myself "Was it something I did? Something I said?". This should be the point where I realize that I am the worst human being ever. Right?
Let me tell you that none of those above can be applied to me. Well, except the last one. Although I proclaim myself to be the holder of decent specs, I have always considered myself to be levels below others when it comes to being human. Blame my wonderful childhood for that. Oh glorious gods of various denominations, why must you pick on a poor boy like me?
...
Ahem.
Back to the topic at hand, no, I won't be going after her. I don't want to. There's a reason why she did that. A reason that I know of very well.
I won't be asking myself whether it is something I said or did either. That's because I already know the answer.
Of course I know. I am to blame for her action just now afterall.
Yes.
I, Hikigaya Hachiman, have chosen to cut my ties with her, Isshiki Iroha. It wasn't an easy decision for me to make believe me. I still feel responsible for manipulating her into taking the seat of the student council president. But seeing already what she is capable of, I don't think she needs me anymore.
Besides, it was a decision, the one where I choose to be away from her, that I deemed necessary to make… for us. It is for the best.
Truth be told, Isshiki has grown on me. With how clingy she has been to me, it should be no surprise right? And although I know that all her lovey-dovey act towards me is just that, an act, my dysfunctional brain has seemed to be disregarding that fact much more often than not lately, which in turn has made me uneasy whenever I'm with her. Especially when it's just the two of us. And I'm fairly sure that she's aware of it.
So, in order to not make things get any weirder, I ultimately decided to end things between us.
...
Heh.
As if there was anything between us. Yukinoshita was right. You really are one poor delusional boy Hachiman you are.
...
Well, the deed has been done. I would be lying if I say that I don't regret it one bit. But this is the only solution that I've come up with in dealing with our current... relationship. For one, isn't she after someone else? It won't do her good if she is always seen with me. Not good for her at all! Another, if I do fall for her (hypothetically of course; I am never ever gonna fall for her; I won't fall for her foxy tricks!), she might feel disgusted you know? So in order for her not to go through such ordeal, I had to do this.
It'll be for her good.
...
Yeah right.
Keep lying to yourself Hachiman. That way, you will forever be ONLY longing for the genuine.
Heh.
It'll be for her good.
That's the best joke you have made in a while. 1000 points!
"Good morning Senpai!"
...
I'm not just seeing things right? I'm not just hearing things… right?
"Senpai?"
There really is a fox in front of me right?
"Yo Senpai. Your cute kohai has come for you!"
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? [1]
"Senpaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
…
"Owowow! What the hell?!" I cried in pain after what the sly fox has done. You see, she tugged my ahoge. And tugged hard she did.
"Hmpf! That's what you get for not responding to me!" Uh-huh. So you've decided to go physical huh? Nice logic there my friend. Would you be interested in enlightening me some more? "Why aren't you atleast greeting me with your usual 'Yo!' anyway?"
"That's because I'm still not sure whether I'm just dreaming or not."
…
Wait. Was I supposed to say that out loud?
I examined Isshiki so I can gauge whether what I've just said is something appropriate or not. She was awkwardly stiff. Not a good sign. I then looked up on her face. She had an indescribable look on her face. I'm getting nearer to my conclusion. Her cheeks had a tinge of crimson. Whether that's because of embarrassment or anger, I don't want to know. It seems like I have all of the information I need to make a conclusion.
Hikigaya Hachiman's conclusion: I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
But as with every word what that one has already let go out of one's mouth, I cannot take back any of what I've just said. What has been said has been said or so they say.
Oh boy.
…
"A-a-a-re you perhaps hitting one me? I'm sorry but just because you have just said something sweet to me while it's just the two of us alone in you room right now doesn't mean that I will accept you and will let you do things to me. I do appreciate your sentiment so I wouldn't mind if you try again later when we both are ready, but for now I'm sorry." Ishhiki went on with her spiel and bowed down after doing so.
Just as usual. I get rejected even when I'm not making passes at her.
…wait. Why do I feel that there is something different with that rejection of hers?
…
It's just the two of us.
Alone.
In my room.
…
And then it hit me.
It is just us, Isshiki and I, alone in my room, with the door locked (I presume). Isn't this what you consider a rom-com situation?
…
What are you talking about Hachiman. Rom-com? You'll never be in one. Well, you might have been in a few rom-com situations already. Okay. Maybe a lot. Most of them with this fox in front of you. But the romantic undertones don't matter to you right? You've been through so much for this to matter right? Rom-com. Pfft. Don't make me laugh. Even without making moves on her, she has already rejected you a number of times. There is nothing romantic whenever it's just you two. Uhm-hm.
…
Well then, now that it is established that this is just another one of those foxy acts of hers, let's LOGICALLY think about the LOGIC of things shall we?
"What are you doing here Isshiki?" I asked her with a serious tone, frowning while doing so. This should have been what came first out of my mouth, if I weren't still half-awake a little while ago. Seriously, what is she doing here?
Isshiki pouted at that. Cute.
…
Wait, what was that? That isn't cute at all! And why is she pouting as if I just said the most upsetting thing to her anyway? She's the one who just barged in to my room! She's the one at fault here!
"Seeennppaaii, I mailed you!" Mailed me? I didn't read any mail from you last night though.
I tried hard to remember if I've read any mail from her related to this visit of hers.
…
Nope. Nada. I haven't read any from last night and before that. Which must mean…
"And when did you send me this mail Isshiki?"
"About an hour ago!"
I knew it.
...
Sigh.
"And what time is it now?"
"It's eight o'clock in the morning. Why do you ask Senpai?"
…
Why do I ask? Seriously? Is she really asking me that?
Why do I ask? It's the weekends for chrissake! You are supposed to sleep up until noon during the weekends!
"Hasn't it occurred to you that I might still be sleeping when you mailed me?"
"Yup!"
Then why did you still come here then?!
…
I shouldn't be surprised though really. This has been happening a lot these past weeks.
Yes.
This isn't the first time that Isshiki has been in my room. And this isn't the first time that she greeted me this way either.
…
What did I do to deserve this?
…
"What's your point though Senpai?"
Sigh.
"Nevermind. Just wait for me in the living room." I said to her as I massaged my forehead. Then a thought occurred to me. A though that brought a smirk to my face. I then looked at Isshiki.
"Go. Shoo."I teasingly said to her.
I got the ideal reaction from her. Mission successful!
"Hey! Don't treat me like I'm some pest!" Isshiki protested as she put her hands on her hips. Uhhm, aren't you being one right now?
But really, she has to get out of my room right now. What if someone else sees us like this (Komachi does not count since she probably consented this)? A boy and a girl alone in a room… in a boy's room at that! While I may not be a religious follower of social norms, it doesn't mean that I have no knowledge of them. And while I may not give a care about other people's opinion of me, I cannot say the same for Isshiki. If rumors fly because of this, it won't do well for her reputation. One, she is Sobu High's Student Council President. Two, what would the person who's the reason why she came here for think of her then? Seriously, she really needs to get out of my room. And she should stop doing so.
"Seriously, you should stop barging into my room when you know that it'll be just the two of us. This is still a boy's room you know?"
…
Oh wait.
"Huh?" Isshiki was startled, the color of her cheeks becoming redder. "Don't tell me Senpai that you really have plans of doing something to me!"
Well I expected her to say that. So me being not flustered is only to be expected.
"It's not that. I just fear that you become complacent and just barge in any boy's room. You know how it goes with boys."
Really. Even when all of her cutesy and clumsy act is just that, an act, I cannot deny that Isshiki is an attractive woman. Yes, she may not have much assets as Yuigahama or even Miura, but she certainly has more than Yukinoshita. And she is indeed cute. I mean, just look at her! If I didn't know any better, I would have mistaken her for an idol!
…
Okay I may have been exaggerating with the last bit but still, you get my point right?
"Senpai, you seem to have conveniently forgotten that you are a boy yourself."
"Please. This is me we're talking about." I said as I showed her the palm of my hand.
Isshiki made a disappointed face at that.
"I know that I should feel more assured when you said that, but why I do feel disgusted instead?"
…
I know that I should be hurt and all, but honestly, I don't feel any of that at all. In fact, I am quite relieved that she said that. Am I really a masochist?
…
"Just go. I can't dress myself with you still around." I told her once again.
"Yes yes Senpai. Don't take too long ok?" and off she went to the door and was about to exit the room when I heard her whisper,
"Besides, I'm not one to just barge in any boy's room you know? I only do it with Senpai."
…
What did she mean by that?
Date. It is a social gathering where two individual, mostly a pair of male and female individuals, go out and do activities together. Ideally, it should be done by two individuals who both have the mutual intention of upgrading their relationship to that of a romantic one. Or if they are already in one, they go on a date so that they can maintain their romantic relationship, or even improve it. Sure there may be other types of dates such friendly ones, family-oriented ones, those kinds that are non-romantic. But really, when one says date, it is normal for the other to think of it being the romantic kind.
How do I know all of this?
Blame Isshiki for that. Because of her wanting to use me as a practice date for when she finally gets an actual date with Hayama, I had to do some research on the subject.
…
What?
I'm exerting too much effort for something that doesn't benefit me?
Well excuse me, but me doing this benefits me a great ton. Aside from eliminating the threat of her blackmailing me with those cursed receipts, if these many practice dates of ours results to her being successful with her date with Hayama, then she wouldn't be pestering me anymore. I would get back the peaceful life that I always had before the fox barged into it. See? It's a WIN-WIN situation for the both of us!
Although, there is still something bugging me about all of this. If these practice dates of ours are meant for her to have a successful one with Hayama, why does she always score me at the end of each?
"Senpai?"
"Wha-huh?" The voice of Ishhiki has 'woken' me up from my daydreaming. It's one of the disadvantages of having always long and winded inner monologues. I should make sure to find a cure for that. Then I would patent it. Then I would earn money everytime a medical company produces and sells the cure. And then I will become rich while I'm inside the comfort of my home. Nevermind my dream of becoming a househusband! Who needs to become one if the money is just practically going to you without you having to do anything right? This is genius I-
"Sennpaaaaaiiiii, you weren't listening to me were you?"
Well, yeah… I wasn't really.
"You were having another internal monologue huh?"
Guilty.
"That costed you a thousand points!"
I frowned at that. As far as I can remember, she always takes points off of me. And why does she keep on scoring me anyway?
"Why do you keep on scoring me? What purpose does it do?"
"Nothing really. I just wanted to take points off of you. Tee Hee!" said Isshiki as she lightly bumped a fist on her hand while sticking her tongue out. Oi Isshiki, it was cute the first time you did it. Now, it's just annoying.
…
But anyway, I guess that's that huh. It's nothing but just a way of picking on me huh? Well then, I will no longer mind it.
"What were you saying earlier though?" I asked since I really wasn't listening to her just then.
"Huh? Oh yeah. I said that I wanted to try the newly opened Ice Cream shop just there."
…
"And since you weren't listening to your date earlier, you'd have to pay for her! Ei!"
This little brat.
…
Whatever. I was planning on doing so anyway. If I have learned anything from our previous dates, it is that the boy should treat the girl to at least one shop or whatever. It may be a little bit unfair but that is just how it is. Blame society for that.
"Fine. I plan on doing so anyway."
And then there was silence
Why did it get silent just now? And why is Isshiki being awkwardly still?
"What?" I asked her hoping to get answers to my questions.
Isshiki was 'unfrozen' at that. She then started with a pose that I know of very well.
"Are you perhaps hitting on me-"
"Hold it." I interrupted her. I have had enough rejection for the day. And no, I am not hitting on her. Rather, "I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing. We're 'dating' remember?"
Isshiki's eyes widened at that. She then gave me a smile that is similar to her foxy ones, but not really fake either.
"Hmm… It seems that you are learning. I will give you ten points for that." she said with a tone of superiority.
"What is with this unfair point system?" I playfully complained.
"And you get a negative 1000 points because of your complaining."
See what I mean?
…
But I guess that it will always be like this between us huh? Her being the brat she is and me being the ever so consenting whatever I am to her.
I smiled to the best that I can and said,
"I guess that I'll just have to shut my mouth then."
Ishhiki morphed her somewhat foxy smile into a more genuine smile and said,
"Yeah, I guess that you'll just have to huh Senpai?"
We are now inside the Ice Cream shop, sitting on one of its many tables. The overall ambience is quite soothing. The colors are not too bright nor too dark for the eyes. Their furniture and fixtures are well placed. The shop's theme can appeal to both couples who are out on a romantic date and/or families who are out on whatever it is that families do. Overall, I rate this shop 8/8. Good job m8!
Although, I won't be coming much here. While I admit that I love my sweets, I am not that fond of ice cream. I just don't like that you have to eat it on a timely manner, or else you won't be able to fully enjoy it because it would melt.
I'd come here again though at least once just to bring Komachi. Unlike me, she likes her ice cream.
I was wondering though, for a place that has only opened recently, it is a surprise that it is not yet crowded. Not that I should be complaining though. I should be thankful even. Don't I hate it when it's crowded?
Still, isn't it strange?
"You must be wondering why it isn't crowded here huh?"
I nodded my head at that.
"Well, they are on a reservation basis for now. They know that they can't handle it if there's too much customers."
Huh. That makes sense. Maybe all establishments or those that are only planning to open up should follow this shop's example. Especially those ones where the waitresses have to wear some kind of costume. Like a French maid, or a Chinese dress, or a tight body suit. Surely I would go to them if they follow this shop's example, the prices be damned!
Heh.
But wait. How does she know that this place has that kind of system?
"Don't tell me that you-"
"Yep! I'm so dependable aren't I Senpai?"
I chuckled at that.
It is true. Isshiki can be dependable whenever she wants too. In fact, she is very capable of doing things if only she puts herself into it.
That's why it irks me whenever she asks me to do her bidding. I mean, she knows that she can do them herself so why get me all the time right? What irks me even more is that I cannot seem to say no to her. Even moreso these past weeks. I may have said that I had to take responsibility for manipulating her to take Student Council President Seat, but I think that I may have already made up for that.
"And I wouldn't pick this place if it were to be crowded anyway. You don't like crowded places right Senpai?"
Is that so? Huh. Ishhiki can be thoughtful when she wants to. Well, I shouldn't forget that even with all that foxy and cutesy exterior of hers, Isshiki is still just like any other girls, if rather a little bit more rotten. Really, Hayama doesn't know what he lost when he rejected her.
"Really huh. Well that earned you a ton of points." I said to her in a tone mocking hers whenever she says it.
Isshiki made a look of disgust at that. Oi, you're the one I'm imitating you know. Are you disgusted at yourself too?
"Although I've been thinking, why haven't you just invited Hayama himself to this shop?" I asked her with a serious tone.
Isshiki almost dropped her spoon at that. Why would she though? Isn't that the point of our practice dates? So that she could have the perfect date with the oh-so-perfect Hayama Hayato?
"Uhh that's because uhmm…. I still haven't gotten enough practice! Yeah! That's it!" said that flustered fox.
Uh-huh. Is that so?
…
BULLSHIT!
"Not enough practice? We've been doing these every weekend already! I even stopped counting when the number reached five!"
Isshiki pouted angrily at that. What is with that reaction?
"Mou~ Senpai! If you don't stop it with this, I'm gonna mail a copy of the receipts to Yukinoshita-senpai and Yui-senpai!"
Whoa! Whoa! Why did it have to go to that? And why is she being so defensive?
…
This is starting to frustrate me. I must calm down.
"Fine. I'll drop it. Let's just enjoy the food for now." I said in an effort to bring back the mood.
"…I actually lost my appetite because of you Senpai. Seriously, why did you have to mention Hayama-senpai? You shouldn't be mentioning other people's names when you're on a date you know! That costed you a million points!"
But you mentioned his name just now! And what is with this unfair point system of yours really? The deductions are getting way absurd!
…
Sigh.
"Isshiki, have you already forgotten the purpose of these practice dates of ours?"
And for the second time, Isshiki almost dropped her spoon. Seriously, what is with her?
"O-o-of course I haven't!" she retorted.
She then quickly recovered and continued on consuming her meal… with much vigor. Is she mad at me?
Gah!
Seriously, what is with her?
"You get a score of negative nine hundred ninety thousand points on this date Senpai. Aren't you getting a lot worse each week?" she said why assuming a pose of superiority.
Hey, you're the one with this ridiculous point system! If anyone is to blame here, it should be you. I just do what I do!
But I really shouldn't mind it. For what I know, it's nothing but just a way of her picking on me.
…
Wait. Haven't I already said this earlier?
Anyways, as you can tell, we are now at the conclusion of this week's practice date.
Heh.
This week.
Come to think of it, we've been doing it regularly that we might as well just drop the 'practice' and just straight say up that we are actually dating… wait what? What am I thinking? Hachiman, do not forget the purpose of you having these practice dates. This isn't for you. This is for her… well, it has some benefit for you, but you won't be doing this if it weren't for her right?
…
That made me wonder, are these practice dates of ours still considered just that, just practice dates? Due to the frequency of us doing them, it won't be a surprise if someone thinks that we are actually dating. And that is what I want to prevent from happening. It won't do her good if a certain someone misunderstands right? We're doing this so she can hook up with him right? She still knows the purpose of us having these practice dates right?
…
Does she still really know the purpose of us having these practice dates?
Chapter 1 - End
[1] Excerpt from Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody (Mama Mia Let me go!)
A/N Another short series from me. Will probably have three chapters at most for this one.