TIME MEASUREMENTS:

Astrosecond: .5 seconds

Nano-klik: 1 second

Klik: 1 minute

Breem: 8 minutes

Cycle: 1 hour 15minutes

Deca-cycle: 4 weeks (one month)

Mega-cycle: 96 hours (four days)

Meta-cycle: 12 months (one year)

Stellar Cycle: 6 months

Vorn: 83 years

AU. I LOVE JAZZ SO JAZZ IS ALIVE HERE. I had a thought that it would be funny for one of the bots to get knocked out in some way while in alt mode and have one of their humans be the actual drivers. My headcannon is that Sam is an adrenaline junkie too so…

This was supposed to be in Spare Parts but…it wanted its own thing soooooooo…Oneshot. AU.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

Sam had never expected to need the lessons.

It had been a joke when he asked.

At no point did he expect the bots to say 'yeah alright' and then actually go through with it.

But they had.

Sam had made a comment that he wished he could drive like the bots. He mentioned watching the very impressive synchronized U-turn from Mission City and how he wanted to drive that way.

Jazz had taken him up on the challenge.

Next thing Sam had known he was sitting in the driver's seat of a Pontiac Solstice and Jazz was handing over the controls for driving. He insisted it would be fine- and if Sam wanted to learn to drive the way the bots could, where better to learn then inside a bot that could stop any accidents from happening before it became a problem?

Sam hadn't really had an argument for that piece of advice.

(If he was going to risk crashing, better with one of the bots who could correct him and tell him where he went wrong before he crashed in a fiery explosion.)

At first it had just been simple driving exercises as Sam got used to actually driving himself. Then they moved into some of the maneuvers and stunts Jazz was going to teach Sam to use.

After that had come adding speed to the whole thing.

Sam found he enjoyed it, and accidently discovered he was a bit of an adrenaline junkie when it came to what he referred to as 'stunt driving' with an Autobot.

Jazz thought it was hilarious and was perfectly willing to feed his addiction to stunt driving. Once Sam had mastered the 'stunts' Jazz had given him, the Autobot moved on to more and more complicated stunts. Then Jazz called in some backup.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe- a set of twins that had landed on earth months before- were called in so Sam could get used to using the 'stunt driving' with others. After he mastered that- and that was a whole new level of adrenaline- the twins helped to teach him dodging. They would 'attack' and Sam had to use his driving to dodge the attacks and work his way out and around the twins.

Eventually Sam brought Bumblebee into his learning, learning how to do the same stunts and driving with the Camaro and then Jazz joined the twins in helping Sam learn to drive with and in time with others as well as how to dodge.

After Bumblebee's initial reaction of being offended Sam hadn't asked him for lessons and Sam explaining Jazz just happened to be the bot that heard his comment and took it as a challenge, Bumblebee took to teaching Sam a few more tricks.

It sort of spiraled from there until Sam had driven with and learned how to 'stunt drive' each of the Autobots. Each of them had taught Sam different tricks and tips with their Alt Modes as well as what might be possible with one of them not being so with another.

Needless to say, Sam was an adrenaline junkie of the highest order when it came to driving and stunt driving and he thrived with it.

(Stunt Driving with Optimus turned out to be the most difficult and the one that gave him the highest adrenaline rush.)

He just hadn't expected to need it. The lessons were meant to be for fun.

And then something had gone wrong.

He'd been with Bumblebee at the time, the two of them chatting and enjoying each other's company while Bumblebee drove and Sam pretended he was the one behind the wheel.

Sam remembered he had been laughing when Bumblebee suddenly swerved. His hands had automatically tightened over Bee's wheel where he had been pretending to drive when Bee's voice came over the radio.

"Sam, something is wrong. They hit me with…something. It's forcing me into recharge."

As Bumblebee drifted over again, Sam realized it wasn't that Bumblebee was dodging something, or that the swerving was on purpose, but that he was drifting towards unconsciousness.

"Bee?!" he yelled at the bot "Are you alright?! No stupid question- can you call the others?"

Sam never got an answer- he felt it as Bee was forced to sleep- knocked out by whatever it was he had been hit with- and his hands tightened on the wheel.

He was the one in control now.

His eyes darted to the mirrors and sure enough he could see Decepticons. They were far enough away that Sam knew they had to have used some sort of sniper to hit Bee before moving forward, that they had planned it carefully, keeping out of Bee's sensor range and striking too quickly for the scout to do anything before speeding up as soon as the dart (Sam assumed it was some sort of dart) hit.

Sam could feel his adrenaline pumping as the Decepticons pulled closer.

They may have taken Bee out, but they hadn't factored in one thing- Sam was there and he had practiced for this.

His foot pressed down on the gas pedal.

O~O~O~

Sam shifted gears and pulled the wheel towards the opposite lane. His adrenaline was pumping as the car slid into a 180 degree turn, keeping within the two lanes he had to work with so that he went from moving away from the Decepticons to facing them in a perfect 'bootleg turn'.

He accelerated and quickly took the turn he had passed earlier in an attempt to head away from the City. He didn't want this car chase to cause problems for civilians, and with Bee unconscious it would turn into a chase. That meant this whole thing was going to take place off road.

Sam breathed deeply as he poured on the speed, his mind running with every stunt maneuver he had been taught.

He'd have to be creative to stay alive.

O~O~O~

Sam was cursing, flawlessly mixing English curses with the Cybertron equivalents as he applied every bit of knowledge he had to keep himself alive.

Barricade was on his tail and two other Decepticons were pulling up to box him in and Sam knew he couldn't let that happen or he'd be dead. His eyes narrowed as he took in the 'road' ahead of them. (Considering he was 'off road' there wasn't actually a 'road' to watch, but Sam was ignoring that technicality. He was driving on it- it was a road.) He was still in the lead for now- he had a chance.

Sam took a breath and quickly used a stunt known as a 'Scandinavian Flick' allowing him to slingshot into a turn and put more space between him and the Decepticons behind him.

He needed to get ahold of the Autobots.

He kept one hand on the wheel, his eyes constantly in motion, tracking the Decepticons behind him and the road in front of him even as he reached for his phone and used the speed dial.

He prayed the call was picked up as he hooked the call into Bee's speaker using the 'hands-free' option he'd never had to worry about before.

"Sam?"

Sam was never so relieved to hear Optimus' voice.

"Optimus!" he hollered even as he drifted around another corner, keeping an eye on the Decepticons behind him. "I need to you track Bumblebee right now!"

"Samuel?"

Sam cursed sharply as Barricade caught up just enough to jerk his wheel to the side and slam the nose of his alt mode into the back of Bee's. It sent Sam spinning around with a shriek of metal on metal, but he didn't panic, automatically reaching to put Bee into reverse, having had this done to him by the twins while learning before. (Granted that had been with Jazz, but Sam knew how to respond)

The next few minutes were spent ignoring Optimus as he asked after Sam's wellbeing as Sam poured on the speed despite driving in reverse. He quickly locked the brakes as he turned the wheel, shifting gears into 'drive' as Bee's nose once more faced forward and pressing the gas pedal flat to the floor in a Rockford Turn.

"Sam?!"

"Optimus, as nice as—FRAG! YOU MISCLOCKED MICORCHIP WHAT ARE YOU DOING—it is to talk, Bumblebee is unconscious and I am outdriving Decepticons to stay alive. I—FUCKING HELL STAY THE SHIT OUT OF MY WAY—would really appreciate backup!"

The line went silent as Sam used other Scandinavian flick to slingshot himself around a turn.

"We're on our way Sam."

O~O~O~

Sam was panicking as he realized he would have to turn around if he wanted to keep driving. Going off-road to keep Civilians out of the car chase had been a wonderful idea, except Sam needed space to stay ahead of the Decepticons and eventually he ran out of places he could actually drive when there was no premade road for him to follow.

He cursed turning the wheel and drifting sideways. He could hear as Barricade turned to follow him even as he watched Sideways- Sam had finally recognized one of his other pursuers- turn to cut him off. Sam screamed curses as he watched Sideways pull ahead and move to block him off.

Sam screamed a few more curses as he pulled the wheel forcing Bee's alt mode to drift sideways for a second or two before Sam managed to change direction. He'd help get rid of the streaks of black and white paint he left on Bee's door as he scraped harshly against Barricade's side later. (He would also apologize for the nail marks he was leaving in the steering wheel).

Barricade followed his maneuver seconds later and easily stayed on Sam's tail, Sideways following behind the cop, and leaving Sam racing towards the third Decepticon whose name he didn't know.

Sam's eyes narrowed sharply, the cursing cutting off to allow Sam a deep (slightly shaky) breath. He'd need to time this perfectly.

Barricade was on his tailgate, Sideways was on his left, and the other Decepticon was right in front of him and not slowing down.

Sam's hands tightened on the wheel as he pushed the gas pedal further down. This was going to be a carefully executed game of Chicken. Closer and closer and closer…

At the very last second Sam pulled the hand brake executing a carefully timed and executed drift to the right, around the unknown Decepticon. It was close- the two alt modes were nose to nose (Sam would have to help get rid of the red paint on Bee's alt mode there later too) for a second or two before Sam ended up directly behind the unknown 'Con at the end of the stunt. The Decepticon slammed the brakes, and Sam could hear as Barricade did the same in front of the 'Con to avoid a head on collision, but Sam had already shoved Bee into reverse and was pressing the gas pedal down to put distance between them.

As soon as he had the space, Sam pulled another Rockford Turn locking the brakes as he turned the wheel, shifting gears into 'drive' and pressing the pedal down, focusing on Sideways, who had managed to avoid the almost-pile-up, as he swerved around Barricade and the 'Con to follow after him.

"Come on, come on…come on." Sam hissed as he retraced the path he had taken earlier.

In the next second, Jazz's voice came over his phone (Sam didn't question how the bot had managed to hack his phone directly so Sam didn't have to pick up) commanding. "Sam, hard right in three…two…"

Sam reacted without hesitation, taking a hard right on his cue. He had the perfect view through the windshield of Jazz as the bot launched himself up and over Bee's alt mode to slam into a suddenly braking Sideways. At the same time Sideswipe and Sunstreaker drifted around either side of Bee, bypassed Jazz and Sideways and gunned it towards Barricade and the unknown 'Con.

Sam had never been so glad to see the bots.

O~O~O~

Sam skidded to a stop next to Ratchet, having continued on once the twins and Jazz had taken on the three Cons behind him.

His hands trembled alongside the rest of his body, and he couldn't seem to unclench his hands from Bee's steering wheel even though he wanted to.

(He really did owe Bee an apology for the nail gouges he had left in the wheel.)

Sam was sure if he tried to stand right then anyway, the only thing he'd succeed in doing was having his legs fold under him. Instead he leaned forward pressing his forehead to the top of Bee's steering wheel and just breathed as his body trembled.

"Sam?" Ratchet's voice called his attention as the bot knelt down in front of Bee's alt.

"Yeah?" he lifted his head to meet Ratchet's optics.

"Would you mind driving Bee back to the base? It would be easier to transport him that way before I manually transform him back to his bipedal mode."

"Yeah Ratchet. I'll drive back with Bee."

Jazz and the twins joined them shortly after that, and Jazz's voice came through his phone as the saboteur's alt mode stopped beside him "Tha' was some impressive drivin' skills Sam! The las' minute drift aroun' Knockout was impressive as well. Glad our lessons stuck so well."

Sam lifted his head "How do you even know about that?" he blinked at Jazz.

Jazz laughed "Well…when ya call up th' Boss Bot and scream curses, ya catch some attention." Sam's face heated as he remembered the screamed curses in question "even when ya're no' screamin' them at him. Optimus had yer location pulled up on Teletraan so we gotta good look at yer drivin' skills. Ya got an audience back at th' base, and those of us tha' came ta get ya had a live feed. It's how Ah knew ta tell ya ta turn."

Sam's face heated up and he automatically rubbed the back of his head.

Sideswipe's voice came over the phone next, and Sam could hear the smirk on the bot's face "Not bad Sam. Not bad."

"For a squishy." Sunstreaker's voice added without missing a beat.

And then Ratchet broke into the conversation, also on his phone (how many of them were going to hack into his phone? It wasn't even supposed to support this many calls at once!) even as he shifted down into his alt mode "Yes, yes. That's all well and good but I need to get Bumblebee back to my med bay so let's go."

Sam snorted even as he followed after the medic.

He was such a mother bear when it came to 'his' patients.

(No matter what the Medic said about it.)