one year later

Erin Gilbert had a problem. A big problem. A massive problem.

A problem that was currently sprawled backwards in bed beside Erin, periodically kicking her in the shoulder in a way that didn't really hurt, but was mildly annoying regardless.

A problem by the name of Dr. Jillian Holtzmann.

The problem wasn't the way she slept—Erin had long ago gotten used to that and accepted it as a quirk that she'd unfortunately never be able to change. The problem was Jillian herself.

She was too damn perfect and all around the most amazing girlfriend Erin could've asked for. It was infuriating.

Especially considering their first anniversary was coming up, and she just knew that Jillian was going to go all out and plan a surprise that would blow anything Erin could come up with out of the water. It was unfair. Erin wasn't good at that sort of thing, and Jillian was too good. Their first date with the star projector that Holtz had built was only the beginning in a long string of equally as thoughtful gifts and surprises.

And now Erin had to pull off an anniversary present that topped everything Jillian had done for her over the course of the entire year.

Simple, right?

Jillian bumped her shoulder again on cue. Erin sighed fondly. The sun was beginning to rise and spill through the curtains, just enough to illuminate the wild mess of blonde hair at the foot of the bed.

Erin was so in love with her.

How could she ever repay her?

"What am I going to do, Abby?" Erin dropped her head onto her desk with a thunk.

"For God's sake, this isn't quantum physics."

"I know. That I'm good at."

"Erin."

Erin peeled her head up to see Abby glaring at her from her own desk, which was pushed together facing Erin's.

"How do I show her how much I love her?"

"When did you guys become so gross? Patty, when did their love become so gross?"

Erin waved her hand. "Keep your voice down." Jillian was still technically upstairs, although the music she blasted was usually as much soundproofing as they needed.

Patty rolled over in her desk chair. "What are we talking about?"

"How Erin and Holtz are so in love that it makes me wanna barf."

Erin threw her pen at Abby's head. "Our anniversary is in a few days and I still don't know what to do for her. You know how she is…there's no way I'll be able to top whatever she's got planned."

Patty shrugged. "So don't try. You can't pull off a Holtzy-level surprise, so you might as well scrap that idea and do something that Erin would do."

"But that's just it. I don't know what Erin would do. Nothing I think of is worthy of her."

"Listen, Erin, man, you gotta lighten up. She'll love you even if all you do is buy her a new blowtorch. Hell, she'd probably love you more if all you did was buy her a new blowtorch. Point is, she'll love whatever you do, because it'll be from you. You could murder someone for her and she'd still think it was romantic. Girl's head over heels."

"I know, I know." Erin shuffled the papers on her desk so they were neatly lined up. "I just want to do something special for her after all she's done for me. I feel indebted."

"Shit, I don't know." Patty laughed. "Propose to her or something. That'll surprise her."

Erin started to sweat immediately. "What?! Propose? To Jillian? Me? For our anniversary? Propose?"

"Calm down, I was joking."

Abby threw back the pen. "You know, that could work."

The pen bounced off Erin's chest as she started to splutter.

"You're insane. You've got to be kidding. How could I—where would I—how would—"

"Okay, Patty's right, you need to chill. Don't bust an artery."

"You really think Jillian is interested in marriage? Jillian Holtzmann? Marriage?"

Abby and Patty exchanged a look, then burst into laughter.

"See, I knew you were joking," Erin muttered.

Patty's hand landed on Erin's arm in a consolatory pat. "No, baby, we're laughing because Holtzy would be interested in anything if it was with you."

"Seriously, you're blind and an idiot if you can't see that Holtzmann's chomping at the bit to lock you down forever."

"What? Where is any of this coming from? Do you guys know something I don't?" Erin was starting to panic. "Is she planning on…for our anniversary…?"

"What, proposing?" Abby laughed. "God knows. She hasn't told us anything. Although, I doubt she is…she would totally enlist our help if she was."

"Or at the very least, she wouldn't be able to keep from telling us. She'd be too excited."

Abby pointed at Patty. "True. So if you go for it now, you know you're beating her to it. Boom. Huge surprise."

Erin shook her head. "Think about who you're talking to. You really think I could pull that off?"

Patty lifted an eyebrow. "Hold up, you're actually considering it?"

"No!" Erin scrunched up her face. "I don't know! But even if I was, there's no way I could pull off a worthy surprise proposal. I would forget what I was supposed to say, or lose the ring, or spill the beans early, or…I don't know, but I couldn't do it."

Abby crossed her arms and swivelled back and forth in her chair. "What makes you think it has to be some perfect, elaborate thing?"

"Because that's what she would do."

"You could literally shove a ring up her nose and she would still say yes."

"Abby, please."

"She's right. You gotta listen to us, Erin."

Erin dropped her head back down to her desk. "Leave me alone."

"That's what you get for asking our help," Abby said.

Erin groaned.

Patty was right earlier. There was no way Erin could pull off a huge surprise or gift, and even if she did, Jillian was still probably going to do something better. Why should she even bother trying?

Erin woke up on the morning of their anniversary to, surprise, another kick to her shoulder. Now well awake, she stared up at the ceiling.

Over the past few days she had resigned to just accepting whatever Jillian had in store. She had bought an anniversary card at the store, then threw it out because it seemed even worse than doing nothing at all.

Now that she was up before Jillian, though, she could at least make breakfast and pretend that was her gift. Slowly and gently, so as not to wake her sleeping girlfriend, she slid from the bed and padded out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen.

Ever since she had moved in to Jillian's townhouse, the pantry and fridge were much better stocked than they ever had been at either of their places when they lived alone. It was something about being together that brought out the best habits in both of them. Greater than the sum of their parts, and all that.

Erin fetched a carton of eggs from the fridge along with a green onion and a block of cheddar. She set to work scrambling eggs (she may have had more food in the house, but that didn't mean her cooking skills had improved that much). When they were sufficiently whipped, she grated and incorporated the cheese and added sliced green onion.

Once her pan had heated up, so she poured the bowl of eggs in and grabbed a spatula. She hummed softly to herself as she stirred and flipped the eggs until they were just barely cooked. Then the digital clock on the stove display caught her eye. It was only 5:30am, which meant that Jillian probably wouldn't be awake for at least a half hour. Of course she had missed that in her sleep-addled state.

She turned the oven on. She could keep the eggs warm in there until Jillian woke up. While she waited for it to preheat, she rearranged the fridge magnets (those primary coloured alphabet magnets that children play with) to spell ou Y. She couldn't find an H.

The oven still wasn't ready, so she headed downstairs to the Disaster Room (as she had long called it—the cleanliness and organization of the room was outside of her control and she had made her peace with it) with a head of romaine. Hypatia was awake in her terrarium and blinked under the light from her heating lamp. The iguana still freaked Erin out a bit, but she'd gotten used to her.

Erin tore off a few hunks of the lettuce and deposited them into the tank, then gave Hypatia a gentle pat. Then she turned and stepped in the direction of the staircase, only to have her foot connect with some loose paper on the ground that she didn't notice and slip, sending her falling forward in slow-motion towards the ground. And, stupidly, she didn't realize until far too late that she should let go of the head of lettuce to catch her fall, and instead crashed into the linoleum face-first, hard.

For a few seconds, she was too stunned to move, and then she pushed herself upright and instantly felt her nose throbbing. Her hand felt for it immediately and then she retracted it quickly when it came back wet. She looked down to see blood covering her fingers.

She swore and clambered to standing, cupping under her nose to try and catch the blood. She tried pinching, but the bone screamed in protest. She stumbled her way upstairs, leaving the lettuce abandoned on the floor.

In the kitchen, she grabbed the roll of paper towels and, too panicked to think clearly, held the whole roll up under her nose instead of tearing off some sheets.

"What's going on?"

Erin jumped and flailed at the sudden voice, and in doing so managed to bump the handle of the frying pan that was carelessly hanging off the edge of the stove. The entire pan, eggs and all, clattered to the floor. Erin spun around to see Jillian, naked save for a pair of Pokémon-print boxers, her hair loose and messy, looking suddenly alert.

She was at Erin's side in an instant. "Holy shit, that's a gusher."

Then she was pulling Erin down the hall to the bathroom, kicking the door open and ushering her inside. Once Erin was positioned in front of the sink, Jillian coaxed the paper towel away.

Her eyes widened at the same time that Erin's did as they took in the bloody mess that was Erin's nose (and her shirt).

"What happened?"

"I was feeding Hypatia and I slipped on some papers," Erin said, her voice nasal.

"Shit. That's my bad. I'll go get you some ice. Be right back." Jillian flitted from the room, leaving Erin alone in the bathroom.

Her eyes welled up, partly from frustration and partly from the pain. Her nose throbbed. What had she been thinking, trying to make breakfast at 5:30 in the morning? This is what she deserved. If she had been more awake, she would've noticed the papers on the ground.

Jillian reappeared with a bag of ice. Erin took it and gently rested it on her nose, which was barely bleeding anymore. She hoped it would block the tears in her eyes from view.

Jillian noticed anyway. She carefully wiped them away. "Does it really hurt?"

"No, it's just…I ruined everything," Erin said.

"What do you mean?" Jillian murmured as she wet a facecloth and lifted it to wash away the drying blood. Erin moved the ice pack out of her way.

"It's our anniversary and I knew I wouldn't be able to do something amazing but I thought I could at least do breakfast and feed Hypatia, but apparently I can't even manage that. I'm so sorry."

"Erin. Don't apologize for hurting yourself, especially when it was my carelessness that caused you to fall. Speaking of which…this doesn't look good. I might have to take you to emerg."

"What? It's just a little nosebleed!"

"I hate to break it to you, but your entire nose is crooked."

Erin leaned in to the mirror, seeing instantly what Jillian was talking about now that her face was clean. Her lip wavered. "Shoot, it is, isn't it?"

Jillian quickly stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Erin's cheek. "Happy anniversary, my love," she said when she'd pulled away. "I'd rather spend it in the hospital with you and know you're okay than not, alright?"

Erin bit her lip and nodded.

Jillian got dressed quickly and helped Erin change out of her pajamas while she kept the ice on her nose.

"It's really sweet that you thought to feed Hypatia," Jillian said as she helped Erin walk slowly through the Disaster Room.

"I thought so too," Erin muttered.

"As soon as we get back, I'm cleaning up the entire room. I promise."

Outside, they hailed a cab and slid into the back seat with a box of Kleenex in case her nose started bleeding again. Erin tapped her foot on the floor impatiently, trying to distract herself from the pain.

"This seems familiar," Jillian said, taking Erin's free hand.

"What does?"

"Going to the hospital with you. You remember when—"

"Of course I remember." How could she forget the injury that inadvertently led to the two of them getting together? The crack in Jillian's collarbone had long since healed, but the memories would never fade.

"Hard to believe that was a year ago."

"Hard to believe that this time it's me who was an idiot and hurt myself," Erin cracked.

Jillian frowned and lazily thumbed the back of Erin's hand. "Except it was still me who was the idiot and left my shit lying around. Does it hurt a lot?"

"No," Erin lied. "I'm telling you, this isn't necessary. I'm ruining our anniversary for nothing."

"Erin Gilbert. It is not nothing. You have a broken nose. Besides, you're not ruining anything. Sure, this isn't exactly how our day was supposed to go, but I'm flexible. If I have to cancel some plans, that's not a big deal. You're more important than what I had planned."

"What did you have planned?"

Jillian shook her head. "I'm not telling you."

"Please? Distract me?"

Jillian appraised her, steady and unblinking, for a few seconds, then sighed. "I can't say no to you. Okay. But when we do get a chance to do this, you have to act surprised, okay?"

"Cross my heart and hope to…well, not die, because then you guys would have to bust my ghost."

Jillian smiled at that. "Okay, well…we were gonna steal the Ecto and drive—"

"I'd be driving, I hope," Erin interrupted. Ever since she found out about the vision loss (and worse, Jillian's lack of a license), she refused to be in the car if Jillian was driving.

"Uh…sure, yeah." Jillian tried to hide a smile. "Anyway, like I was saying, we were gonna steal the Ecto after work and drive out of the city."

"Why?"

Jillian's smile turned slightly sad, just enough that anyone else wouldn't have noticed. But it was Erin, and she always noticed those things. "To escape the light pollution."

It took Erin a second to piece that information together. "To see the stars?"

Jillian shrugged. "I always felt bad that I couldn't show you the real ones. The projector I built was—"

"The most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me."

"I was going to say a poor stand-in. I mean, you grew up in the suburbs. You know what the real-deal is like. I thought that if we couldn't go properly stargazing for our first date, then we sure as hell were going to go for our first anniversary."

Erin swallowed the lump in her throat. "Jillian…" She didn't know what to say to that. Normally she'd fill the silence with a kiss, but her face-region was a little tender at the moment.

"We'll still do it," Jillian said, "just not today. Not while you're in pain."

"I'm s—"

"I swear, if you apologize one more time…I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry for putting you in danger." Jillian pressed a quick kiss to Erin's forehead.

"You planned this amazing romantic evening and I had to go and break my nose. I should've been looking where I was going."

"For the last time, it's my fault. But this just means now we can have a quiet day together. Maybe we can even play hooky from work."

Erin laughed. "That sounds great."

Jillian snuggled her head in the crook of Erin's neck.

In the emergency room, Erin got even more of a sense of déjà vu. This was bringing back a lot of memories. She settled into a chair while Jillian filled out the paperwork (she warmly noted the difference a year could make in their familiarity with each other—Jillian didn't need any help filling out the form).

After that, it was just a waiting game. The baggie of ice quickly melted but Erin's nose continued to hurt. Jillian seemed to get antsier with each minute that passed until she was full-on squirming in her chair.

"Do you have to pee or something?" Erin teased.

"No, I'm just…I just…" Jillian sighed loudly and sunk down all the way in her seat. "I love you, okay?"

"Okay? I love you too."

"Good. I'm glad, because…agh." She slid down even further until she was barely on the chair anymore.

"What are you doing? You're going to fall."

"S'okay, we're in a hospital."

"Jillian."

"Shhh, I'm…"

"You're what?"

"Thiiinking."

"About what?"

"You."

Erin blinked. "Oh." Her girlfriend was nothing if not honest.

There was a long pause, and then Jillian said, "Oh, screw it, I'm basically there anyway."

Erin was about to ask what the heck that meant when Jillian slipped the rest of the way off her chair and into some graceful tuck-and-roll swivel that ended with her in front of Erin on one knee.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then reached for her jacket pocket. "This isn't how I planned it, but…"

Then Erin realized what was happening, and alarm bells started blaring in her brain, because what the hell?

She caught a glimpse of the small box, but before Jillian could open it or say another word Erin had ripped it from her hands. "No!"

Jillian, always cool even when surprised, barely flinched. She just raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"No!" Erin looked down at the smooth metal box that was clearly Jillian's handiwork, then back up. "Are you serious? In a hospital? While I have a broken nose?"

"Well, I—"

"No, no, no, no, no. Abby and Patty said there was no way you were doing this. They said it, Jillian." Erin was well aware that she was causing a scene. She could feel the eyes of half the waiting room on them.

"Good," Jillian said, mirth in her voice. "They held up their end of the bargain."

"What?!"

"Paid 'em each fifty bucks to convince you that I wasn't gonna do it today."

"No. I don't believe that. Why would they tell me to do it today, then? Huh?" Her voice was rapidly getting hysterical.

Jillian's expression only became more amused. "They told you to prop—"

"No!"

"No?"

"No! Don't say that word."

"Alright…they told you to…do a thing involving a ring? Classic. Bet they wanted to raise some hell. Did you listen to them?"

"Of course not, because they freaking convinced me you weren't, so why should I? I should've listened to them. Why didn't I listen to them? No."

"Not going to lie, hearing you say that word so many times in this context is kinda bumming me out, Erin."

"But you haven't asked."

"You're right; I haven't. Someone stole the ring. Think you could give it back so I can do this thing? My knee's starting to hurt."

Jillian did a grabby-hands motion but Erin held the box further from her.

"No."

Jillian clutched at her heart. "Every time you say that it's like a tiny dagger being spiked into my chest. Someone page a doctor. I need a crash cart on standby!"

Erin went to pinch the bridge of her nose but was reminded that it was broken. She had almost forgotten about it. By that point, nearly every person in the waiting room was watching them. It was Erin's worst nightmare.

"If I give it back, what are you going to do?" Erin said carefully.

Jillian looked around. "I thought it was…pretty obvious?"

"Well…well…I won't let you."

"You going to steal that forever? That won't deter me, you know. I can do it without holding it." Jillian smirked. "Erin Gilbert, w—"

"NO! I won't let you do this! Because…because…I'm going to do it first!" Erin quickly snapped the box open, some part of her brain taking in the ring and how beautiful it was, then shoved it in Jillian's direction. "Marry me? Ha! I beat you! Take that!"

Jillian, for once, looked stunned. "What? Erin…that's your ring."

"No."

"Yes. It is. You can't propose to me with a ring I bought for you."

"I just did." Then Erin's brain caught up with what she had just done, and she looked down at the box in horror. Did she just panic-propose to Jillian? "Oh my God. I just…did." Wide-eyed, she looked back up at Jillian, who had an equal expression on her face.

The rest of the waiting room, all the injured and sick people, all the nurses, everyone but Jillian disappeared.

They didn't matter anyway.

Only one person mattered, and it was the one kneeling in front of her. The one who still looked morning-messy with her hair scraggly and loose. The one wearing a grey and black t-shirt printed with an illustration of Bigfoot riding the Loch Ness Monster, tucked into a pair of high-waisted burnt orange pants (in the sense of the colour being burnt orange, but also in the sense that they were riddled with burn marks). The one whose eyes held all the answers to any question Erin might ever need to ask. The one who Erin would go anywhere with, do anything with.

The one.

She'd pretty much known that since their first night under the stars, though. She knew nobody else would ever come close.

She exhaled, and all the panic left with her breath.

"Jillian Holtzmann, will you—"

"Marry me?"

"Hey!"

"Couldn't let you have all the fun." A slow smile spread across Jillian's face. "Answers on three?"

Erin nodded. "One…"

"Two…"

"Three…"

"Yes," they whispered simultaneously. Well, Erin whispered. Jillian shouted.

The ring box clattered to the ground as Erin pulled Jillian up and in for a long kiss, ignoring how much her nose hurt as it was bumped. She was faintly conscious of applause and a bit of good-natured laughter throughout the waiting room, but it didn't bother her.

"Erin Gilbert?"

Okay, that bothered her.

She broke apart from Jillian to see a bored-looking woman waiting.

Jillian laughed and climbed off her lap. "Go get your nose fixed. I need to find that ring you dropped."

Erin blushed but stood, crossing the room to join the woman. The last thing she did before she left was look back to see Jillian on her hands and knees, rooting around under the chairs. A moment later, she held her hands up in triumph, the box in one and the ring in the other. Then she got up and ran to catch up with them.

The woman frowned. "Excuse me, are you family?"

"Yeah," Jillian said, "I'm her fiancée."

Even though they had said they'd skip work and take the day for themselves, they couldn't resist swinging by the firehouse after Erin had been released to tell the others the news.

"Look who decided to show up!" Abby said when they walked in the door. "We thought you guys would be—what the hell happened to your face?"

"I was born this way; thanks for asking," Jillian said cheerfully.

Erin sighed. "I broke my nose."

She was going to have to go back in a few days after the swelling had gone down so the doctor could realign the bone, but it could've been worse.

Patty joined them and leaned in to examine the bruising. "How? Wait…do not tell me this was a sex accident."

"Totally," Jillian said instantly.

Erin glared. "I fell."

"Damn. Must've come down pretty hard, huh?"

"Maybe. Whatever. It's not important. We didn't come to show you that." Erin puffed out her chest and extended her left hand proudly. She had agreed that the ring was, in fact, hers to wear. They were going to go shopping and find one for Jillian at a later date.

It took a second, but then the two of them erupted into cheers. Even Kevin wandered over to investigate.

"Oh, Erin, did you know you've got something on your nose?"

"Thanks Kev. I didn't notice that."

"No problem. What's everyone cheering about?"

"Erin and Holtz are engaged!" Abby beamed widely.

"In combat?"

Jillian mimed drawing a sword and sank into a battle stance. "Always."

"Well, good luck! I'm going to take off now. I'm a finalist in a surfing competition!"

They all watched him go.

"Where do you suppose he's finding waves in New York at this time of year?" Jillian wondered out loud.

"Best not to question it," Patty said. "So, y'all are engaged! That's crazy! Holtzy, I thought you were waiting until tonight?"

"I was, but then Erin broke her nose and my plans went out the window. I was sitting next to her in the emergency room and thinking…you know, screw this, I don't want to go another minute without letting her know how much I love her."

Erin's heart stuttered.

"And then she nabbed the ring and proposed to me first," Jillian added. "Totally stole my thunder. No biggie."

Patty and Abby turned to Erin for confirmation.

"It's true."

"Girl, when we told you to propose to her we meant go buy a ring," Patty said, shaking her head in laughter.

"I panicked!" Erin threw up her hands. "She was trying to propose at a hospital, for crying out loud, and I wasn't even gravely ill."

"It's Holtzmann," Abby said. "Would you really expect anything else?"

Erin looked fondly at her fiancée. "No, I guess I wouldn't."

Her strangeness and complete disregard for social norms was, after all, one of the reasons Erin had fallen in love with her. That and about a million other things.

Jillian reached out to give Erin's hand a squeeze. "Whaddya say we head home? That swollen schnozz of yours deserves at least a day off work, right guys?"

Abby flicked her hand at them. "Go. Celebrate your engagement and anniversary."

"You da best," Jillian said.

"Don't break your girl any more," Patty warned.

"Don't worry," Jillian said, "I'm never letting anything bad happen to her again."

And Erin knew that she meant it, just like she knew that both of them would go to the ends of the earth to protect the other.

Because if there was one thing she was sure of in this world, it was her love for Jillian and Jillian's love for her. She was sure of it like she was sure that the bone in her nose would heal in time, and that the sun would rise each day, and that she would wake every morning for the rest of her life beside her fiancée, her wife, sleeping backwards in bed and kicking Erin's shoulder.

And that wasn't a problem at all.