Erased/Boku dake ga Inai Machi

KayoXSatoru

Chapter 1: 15 years

*Authors note: 1st, I'd like to say that this series was so excellent as it was that it surpassed so many other longer more detailed anime. I loved every minute of it and was always excited to move onto the next episode. However, this brings me to my second point: I am not writing this based on the anime! I am writing this based on the manga comic, which differed in many significant ways from the anime, as most shows do. And finally, to the AiriXSatoru fans out there, I don't have a problem with this shipping, it's just not ideal to me because of how little time was truly spent on it. I do have a grand appreciation for their relationship and its implications in both the show and the manga, but it just felt so forced, whereas Kayo and Satoru just blended together so naturally. So, without further ado, please, read and review and I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing.

The lights in the room were excruciatingly bright as he opened his eyes, causing him to rapidly close them again. His head throbbed painfully in the frontal lobe as he tried to comprehend exactly who he was and where he was. As he tried to open his eyes again, he also tried lifting his arm up to his head and found that, as soon as his arm lifted, he became too tired to continue raising it above his head, so he let it drop back down the bed.

Am I in a bed? he thought. I feel blankets and sheets, and I feel pillows beneath my head. I must be in a bed. But, how did I get in bed? And where is this bed?

"Good morning, Satoru," came a soft voice from a woman as he lie in his bed.

A woman? Who is she? Is Satoru my name?

All these thoughts raged through his mind as he dared to open his eyes again. His eyes roamed aimlessly around the room, drifting this way and that until he finally landed on a woman standing in the opening of the room he was in. He squinted hard, trying to focus, but also trying to keep the light from burning his retinas as well.

Who is this woman? How does she know me? Where am I? Why am I here? his mind raced over and over again as he closed his eyes and returned to the dark depths, far from the room where the woman called his name.

*********** Erased******

He felt himself drifting further and further away from the woman who'd been calling his name. As he drifted into the distance darkness beyond, he began to dream a familiar, yet horrifying dream. He remembered a woman, much like the one who'd called to him, lying on the floor with a knife in her back; he remembered her blood on his hands; he remembered another, much younger girl he'd been reading about in a book he'd gotten; he remembered talking to her as a child. The dream felt so real, as though he could reach out and touch the girl, whose face he couldn't quite see through the haze.

Suddenly, his entire body felt ice cold and he heard the sound of rushing water, his lungs burning as he held his breath, the water brushing against his nose and rising above his head rapidly as he struggled to focus and get out of the water.

Why am I underwater? he wondered, finding a deep, inner calm despite the terrifying drowning feeling. What's going on? Is this really a dream, or is it something else?

As he tried to contemplate these things, he felt his vision in the dream beginning to fade and his entire body going limp as he lost all the strength to struggle anymore. He felt his body finally force him to pull in a breath, inhaling a massive amount of the ice cold water as he lost his conscious ability to hold his breath. As the darkness enveloped him, pulling him deeper and making him feel colder, he cried out in his mind, trying to urge himself onward.

No! he shouted to himself, trying to will his body to move and escape the force that was holding him in this icy water. No! You have to get up! You can't die yet! I won't let you!

As suddenly as the world completely faded, he found himself plunged back into an all white world so bright that his eyes burned and his head throbbed from the brilliant lights. He gasped for breath as though he'd truly been drowning or suffocating, drawing in deep breaths and trying as hard as he could to convince his body that he was no longer drowning. As his senses returned to him, he heard multiple strange voices around him, getting closer and clearer with every beat of his heart, which rang in his ears like a heavy bass drum.

He darted his eyes around, despite the pain, frantically trying to get his bearings and trying to convince himself that he was truly out of the water. He could make out the silhouettes of three people, one in a lab coat and a dark uniform underneath while the other two had pink uniforms with pink hats on. He tried harder and harder to focus, causing him an even larger headache as he strained to hear the conversation they were having as well.

"-finally awake, huh?" the lab coat man said, softly, Satoru heard.

"It's been 15 years, sir," came one of the women in the pink uniforms. "Do you think he'll be able to be rehabilitated and reintegrated with society?"

15 years?! he shouted in his mind, his eyes shooting straight to the front as his mind frantically surged to process the new information. Are they really talking about me? How could I just sleep for 15 years?!

As his mind continued to race, the doctor took notice of his patient being awake and walked over to him, leaning over him to look into his eyes.

"Hello?" the doctor said softly, meeting Satoru's eyes. "Mr. Fujinuma, can you hear me?"

Satoru looked into the man's eyes momentarily before opening his mouth to speak before he realized that, no matter what he wanted to say, his voice would not cooperate with him.

"Your vocal chords are still paralyzed slightly, as is much of your body," the doctor explained as he scribbled notes on his clipboard. "You see, after being in a coma for the last 15 years, your body is still starting itself back up."

Satoru found the strength and nodded to the doctor to indicate he understood.

"Very good," said the doctor, pulling his stethoscope up to listen to Satoru's lungs. "Well, your lungs sound just fine. If you ask me, I'd say you're as healthy as possible, for someone in your conditions."

He nodded again to the doctor to indicate he was listening as he stared off into the distance.

"So tell me, can you remember anything?" the doctor asked after a few more examinations.

He shook his head slightly as he was examined further.

"Alright. Can't expect too much after 15 years."

Satoru felt a wave of depression hit him as he stared off into the distance, his mind wandering to places so distant, he couldn't even hear the doctor anymore.

"Mr. Fujinuma?" he heard the doctor calling him. "Mr. Fujinuma? Are you still able to hear me?"

He nodded again, turning his eyes to face the blur that was his doctor.

"Would you like to see your reflection?" the doctor asked, slightly hesitant as he grabbed the handle to a personal mirror. After a few moments, Satoru nodded and the doctor lifted the mirror so that he could see himself.

How skinny he heard himself say, internally. As it registered in his mind, his mind began to race again. 'How skinny?' Why did I think that? Why not 'Is that really me?' or 'How old?'? Who, or what, am I?

He nodded to his doctor again to indicate he was finished with the mirror before it was promptly taken from him as a nurse in pink uniform brought him a tray to spread across his bed. As Satoru began to wonder why they were giving him a tray without any food on it, he saw a familiar figure in the doorway. He saw the woman from his room he'd been in when he woke the first time, this time holding a rather large stack of bento boxes as she walked into his room.

"Are you hungry, Satoru?" she asked with a smile as she walked in. As he nodded, he could tell she'd been crying a lot recently by the puffiness of her eyelids and how bloodshot her eyes were.

Who am I to this woman? he wondered as she set the boxes in front of him.

"I made your favorite from when you were little," she explained as she opened the boxes revealing her special, hamburgers and fried rice. "You used to beg me for this after school, every day."

As she tried to contain her sobs, he looked down at the box before him, the smells urging him to recall some distant memory just beyond the cusp of his capability.

"M..." he began, turning his head to face the woman.

His mother, not really hearing him, continued to pull the boxes from the bag and set one aside for the doctor.

"Mo..." he tried again, pushing himself so hard he could feel himself sweating at the exertion. As he watched her continue pulling chopsticks and silverware out of the bag, still clearly unable to hear him, he mustered the last of his strength, forcing all the air he could from his lungs in one last attempt.

"Mom?!" he asked, very much louder than he'd intended but he found himself indifferent to the volume as he watched his mother freeze with her hands on his tray, setting down chopsticks. He felt a damn burst within him, relief and sadness washing over him in quantities he couldn't quite understand, and his eyes filled to overflowing with tears almost instantly as he saw his mother slowly look up at him, tears in her eyes as well.

"Satoru..." she said, softly, bringing her hands to her mouth as the tears streamed down her face and she began to sob in joy. "My baby boy..."