"Steven doesn't mind."

He would have missed it if it hadn't been for his vampire hearing. He spins around.

"What?!"

He can't believe it. Buffy sighs.

"He knows there's a part of me he can't reach. He told me that if I ever felt like I needed – something he couldn't give me I was free to do what I want."

Spike still stares at her.

"He said that as long as it was purely physical he wouldn't mind."

That gets a reaction. He clenches his teeth for a moment, and then his lips curl into a smile again, but it's bitter this time.

"See, there's a problem there. It's never purely physical. Not for me. Not with you. I make a connection, every time. And afterwards, severing that connection feels like cutting off my arm. Every time. So no, I'm afraid it wouldn't be purely physical."

She drops her gaze.

"It would be – for me." Her eyes flying up to his she reaches out for him, gently touching his chest. "But I get that it's different for you, and I'm sorry."

He pulls himself together, his eyes narrow, his face hard.

"He's a fool, and he doesn't deserve you."

Buffy takes a step back. The look on her face tells him it must have sounded more like a judgement on her, than a damnation of him, so he tries to control his anger towards a man he doesn't know. His features soften as he reaches out a hand to gently tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I just meant...you know that, if I ever had...what he has...I'd never, ever..." Her hand comes up to cover his and he's surprised to see moisture well in her eyes.

"I know," she whisperes. "If things had been different...if I had treated you better...maybe you and I..."

She looks at him for a very long moment, and that's it for his newly found mature instinct of self preservation as well as for the ounce of pride he has held on to. Not much of that anyway when it comes to her. He moves in, resting his forehead against hers. His hands run down her back, coming to rest on her hips, and he pulls her close. If anything, he's stronger than she remembers, the very human extra muscle and his renewed vampire strength combined. What a fighter he must be these days, she thinks, and she can't tell if it's that thought that turns her on or the sensation of his firm grip on her hips.A minute ago he touched her as if she was made of glass, all worship and awe, but now their history kicks in and he remembers how much exactly she can take. Slayer, he thinks, and feels the familiar rush. No wonder her husband can't give her what she needs. She probably holds back with the guy, trying to protect him, keeping her strength in check. Spike can already feel her start to let go of that control as she kisses him, hungrily, passionately, and it feels a lot like that kiss that made a house fall down. He moans into her mouth, rock hard in an instant, pulling her against his body hard enough to leave bruises. He likes the idea – let's find out if hubby is true to his word when he comes home and finds his wife marked by another man. Wait. Think, Spike. He breaks away from her.

"Buffy, wait."

She looks up, flushed and a little confused.

"What?"

"Are you sure about this? I mean I honestly couldn't care less for hubby, but are you gonna be OK?"

Again she looks like she's about to cry.

"Please", she breathes, "I need you, Spike. I know it's selfish and you're gonna get hurt, again, but..."

His eyes close and he kisses her again, more gentle this time, slow, sensual, and his hands wander up to her shoulder blades. Her breasts press against his chest and he realizes he needs to feel her skin, wants to be rid of the clothes.

"Come on", he whispers and lets go of her, and she takes his hand. He can't remember if she's ever held his hand. Not like this, walking with him. They find a place, and the house doesn't fall down, but it's a revelation nonetheless. Spike can tell she lets go, fully, completely, no holding back, taking everything he has to give, and it's heaven and hell and he's happier than he has ever been since that night in her basement when she curls up in his arms and lets him hold her. Oh there will be pain, he knows that all too well, but he refuses to deal with it while she's still with him. For now, she's here, and he's at peace. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. It's been a while since he fell asleep with a Bible verse on his mind...