Once upon a time, there was a boy named Thomas "Tommy" Marvolo Riddle. Tommy was a nice little boy who liked to play with trucks and color. He also liked sunny days and animals. His favorite animals were snakes. He even had a pet snake named Snowflake. Every day, Tommy and Snowflake would romp through the fields behind the orphanage where Tommy lived. Even though Tommy wished he had a real family, he liked the orphanage. He had lots of friends there, and it was one of those very expensive orphanages that would do assassinations for the government, so the government gave the orphanage lots of funding.

One day, Tommy got a letter from a place called Hogwarts. It turned out that Tommy was a wizard! That made him happy. He would learn magic and use it to make the world a better place. He would save the rainforests and end world hunger. So, happily, Tommy left for Hogwarts. Even though he would be leaving all his friends behind, including his super-model girlfriend Michelle, he knew it was for the best.

But things didn't go very well at all. He bumped his head trying to get onto Platform 9 and 3/4. The hour of unconsciousness that followed made him miss the train, so he had to hitchhike.

Hogwarts itself was horrible. He was in Slytherin house, where all the nice, peace-loving kids would go. But the other jealous students told dirty rumors that Slytherin was where all the evil people went. That made Tommy sad. Even though he a very smart little boy, he had no friends and got beat up a lot. Even by the house-elves.

When the evil Transfiguration teacher Professor Albus Dumbledore sent Snowflake away, Tommy knew there was a conspiracy going around. Tommy soon learned that Dumbledore was planning a hostile take-over of the world! He even liked Muggles. Tommy used to like Muggles... until he found out that most of them were in on Dumbledore's plot to make all the wizards slaves and kill all the manitees!

Tommy knew he had to do something. After he graduated, he ran away to learn lots of magic so that he could stop the evil Dumbledore and give everyone on earth a puppy.

But everyone believed Dumbledore when he said that Tommy was evil. No one liked Tommy, so they beat him up.

But after a while, Dumbledore decided he didn't like Muggles anymore. Oh, he pretended to, but now his evil plan was to kill all the Muggles. Two of his finest henchmen were Lily and James Potter. Tommy decided to go to their house, give them candy, and tell them that they should be nice.

But they attacked. In self-defense, Tommy accidently killed them. He felt really bad. In return, he gave their baby Harry a magical scar that would protect him from Dumbledore and the common cold. Then, still feeling really bad, he ran away and hid. But he knew he would return someday to stop the evil Dumbledore. . .

The End!