"Hello Darcy Lewis here" Darcy picked up the phone without checking the caller ID, as she tucked into a good bacon buttie. Say what you want but LIVING in the UK had taught about the proper way to present bacon (streaky bacon no just no) and how to make up the proper bacon buttie.

"It's your father young lady and I can't believe you what were you thinking to have to learn what you have been doing with your life over the past few years thanks to your mother, no just no that should never have happened".

Darcy blinked at her phone, her normally stoic and taciturn father was really worked up, Tammy 2 must have said something to him "I'm sorry Dad but not all of us believe that the government are an evil, organisation hellbent on destroying us all, I mean we aren't all Republicans"

"You have went against all of my values young lady, I did not raise you to be like this. Where did you pick up ideas like this?"

Darcy cleared her throat a few times trying to push out excuses before she finally whispered "listen Daddy, I just think that government is fascinating and studying political science was very interesting. And besides I've found out a few things that are very interesting"

Ron replied his voice raising "where did I go wrong with you. Have you been talking to Leslie Knope or Chris Traeger? Did they influence your decision? I knew I shouldn't have let anyone from work know about you. I knew I should have moved you that wood workshop, you could been my little wood working elf" he was really starting to get himself worked up, Darcy was surprised the man could even talk that much.

"No, they didn't influence me, but hey you should hear the things I've heard about bacon now. Dad, streaky bacon isn't that great. I'm sorry but it isn't. Try back bacon. Mmm fried in a pan and in some bread with just a hint of brown sauce covering it. It's the ultimate in hangover food. I tried some in London and it's so good".

Listening to Dad until he ran out of steam had been easily the highlight of Darcy's year. At least until he rang two weeks later

"Hello, Darcy Lewis here"

"Oh my God darling you were right back bacon is where it's at. Tom agrees with me. Little twerp jumped me right when I was frying it, I may have to move homes now in case he shares where I live." Darcy had to raise an eyebrow when she heard the dial tone signalling that her father had hung up, still muttering about bacon.