Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!
Title: Where One Stops the Other Starts
Summary: Steven has never been in a fusion whose personality didn't evolve over time. He's never just disappeared before, either It's a bit disconcerting.
Warnings: I had to sneak my Ace!Steven headcanon in there. I just had to. Oversharing is A Thing.
Setting: They've just bubbled Jasper in the Beta Kindergarten. Amethyst is still slouched over.
...
A hand- his; wait, no Amethyst's- slowly brought itself up to sluggishly itch at a nose- again, Amethyst's- and he tells himself to hold onto that. On that's Amethyst and you're Steven. You're separate entities.
It's not as easy it sounds. Her hair is sticking to his face and tickling his nose, and it feels like he's used to it. Like he's been dealing with it his whole life.
He hasn't.
Steven forces himself to not wander mentally. To focus on the way his skin felt, on twitching his fingers.
Stevonnie had never felt quite like this. They had a personality all their own, of course, but it had evolved. Steven and Connie both had slowly but surely faded out.
Smoky hadn't been like that. Smoky had been first try.
Whispers of half-notions crowded the corners of Steven's mind. Those were Amethyst's as well, in a sense of the idea. It felt as though, should he so choose, he could delve into those thoughts and explore; discover moments of Amethyst so secret or forgotten, yet so important they helped shape her character forever.
But, still. After all of that, losing sight of himself, even long enough to search through those faded shards of memories, was too long. He let them slowly fade. (Besides, those things are personal. Amethyst will tell him if she wants him to know.)
"It's called a yo-yo, Peri." Her voice broke into his mind. Steven isn't certain when exactly he slumped down next to her, but feels himself being comfortably propped up and propping her at the same time. "Do me a favor, will ya? Check to see that the warp pad is clear of any crazy monsters."
"Oh! Um. Sure."
That's a good way to tell them apart, he thinks, watching Peridot scamper away with an important air. Amethyst is solid, but doesn't exude heat. No gem he's met ever has, save for Ruby, and that's only when she's under emotional duress. He's grown up to find that lack of temperature to be soothing; that they never change, never leave, never really die.
Steven's always warm. Steven's human. Sort of.
An elbow shifted to lightly nudge his belly. "You okay?"
It was purple. Must be Amethyst's. "A bit disconnected, honestly. I've never been that close to disappearing before."
Amethyst blinks at him. It's a sluggish, tired blink. "You were still there?"
"Sorta? I was kinda like my own background noise." A pause. "Weren't you?"
"No more than with any other fusion." Shrugging.
"Oh. I guess I can't quite do that."
"Eh. S'cool. Could you feel me?"
"Not really, no. But I knew you were there." His brow furrowed. "Amethyst?"
"Yeah, dude?"
"Five thousand years is a long time."
"You're tellin' me."
"You've done a lot of stuff."
Amethyst shifted a bit. "Oh, jeez. What all did you see?"
"I think I can swear in foreign languages now." His nose wrinkled.
"Ha!" Amethyst snorts, relieved. "Yeah, probably."
"Also, there was some adult stuff. Especially with girls."
"There it is." Amethyst almost seems to melt against him, sighing with mild self-disgust. "You're too young to know about that stuff."
"Am I?"
"I dunno. Greg used to say that sometimes."
"Oh. Pearl already gave me that talk. There were charts and everything."
"That's a good thing. This is a terrible way to find out how babies are made."
"Adult stuff is weird. I don't think I like it."
"That's cool. You don't have to if you don't want to. Y'know, when you're older."
"I'm glad."
Amethyst slowly stood, supporting Steven with her leg. She brushed her hair out of her face contemplatively with the palm of her hand, lips pursed. "I think I know the ins-and-outs of how to summon a shield now. Not that I'll ever be able to use it. Can you get up, or is it too soon?"
"Yeah. Are all first gem fusions so... share-y?" Steven used a hand on her shoulder to balance with as he got up. It felt almost like the connection between them stretched as he let go, but not in a bad way.
It didn't break. Steven didn't think it ever would.
"Only if the gems are close enough to be cool with being share-y." Amethyst gave him a smile that was all teeth, eyes bright with something almost like self-love, but not quite. "And we are pretty stinking close. Oversharing is the name of the game."
Author's Note: There's been so many things happening this week- it's inspired drabble after drabble from me. Been a lot of fun, hasn't it?
-Mandaree1