Swan Queen Week Summer 2016

Day 6 – Arguments

She shouldn't have ran, she knew that. Shouldn't have left without a word the way she did. Henry had her number, and her parents left her messages every so often, but she essentially disappeared from their lives and kept contact to a minimum. Ran, like the coward she was.

Regina would never forgive her.

Her knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel, arms quivering as her entire body tensed. The mayoral house on Mifflin Street looked the exact same as she remembered it - not that she really expected it to have changed much. It had only been two months. (She could already imagine the sound of Regina's voice. "Two months!" she'd hiss, all venom and hurt and anger, and god, would she be justified.)

It took five minutes to pry her fingers from the wheel and unbuckle herself. Two minutes to open the door and get her feet out. Another two minutes to quietly close the door of the Bug and drag herself up the walkway. The white door was familiar and alien all at once. The house key sat heavy in her pocket and she wondered if it would still work, or if Regina would have gotten the locks changed since then.

Emma stood shaking on the porch for another ten minutes before sliding the key in.

It opened.

The house was dark and quiet. The grandfather clock in the sitting room ticked out its usual rhythm, big hand pointed at the number three. Dead time, she thought absently, remembering those late night "haunted house" reality TV shows that she and Regina used to watch after Henry went to bed. "Dead time" was their term for the middle of the night, when ghosts and spirits were supposedly most active. She twisted her lips, a pang in her chest as her eyes fell on the couch. It felt like a lifetime ago that she'd laid sprawled out on those cushions with her head resting on Regina's lap, fingers combing through her hair.

Emma gently slipped off her boots and crept further into the house, greedily taking in the sight of the kitchen in the dark, of counters she'd once spilled pancake batter all over, a fridge she'd once pinned Regina against to steal a kiss when Henry wasn't looking.

She stepped out into the hall and considered whether or not it would be wise to sneak up and peek in on her son when a narrow strip of light caught her attention. Padding further down the hall, she found the study door cracked open a sliver, faint light pouring through. Surely Regina wouldn't have forgotten to put out the fireplace before bed.

With a trembling hand, Emma reached out and slowly pushed the door open.

As she'd both hoped and feared, a familiar figure sat in the armchair by the fire, shoulders slumped and a glass of amber liquid in hand.

"Regina," she breathed out, frozen in the doorway. Dark eyes rose from where they'd been staring into the flames, catching her in their gaze like a predator trapping a mouse in its sights. The brunette didn't seem surprised by her presence, but her jaw tightened and her gaze turned to ice.

"Miss Swan," she drawled, voice husky from hard liquor. "How kind of you to finally show your face. Did you forget something in your haste to leave town?"

And - oh god, what was she supposed to say? What could she say? The excuses she'd thought over a million times in her head during the eight hour drive back to Maine were gone now, leaving her brain blank and terrified. She'd screwed up.

"I'm so sorry," Emma whispered, forcing her feet to move forward even as Regina's glare told her to stay back. "I- I can't tell you how sorry I am."

"Save it. I have no desire to listen to whatever pathetic excuse it is you've made up as to how you could possibly abandon Henry and I without even a goodbye. You can come back tomorrow - after Henry's gone to school - to collect your things. I've taken the liberty of packing them up already."

Regina's gaze was gone again, glaring into the fireplace, russet eyes reflecting the flames and flickering through shades of orange and yellow. Emma felt her heart constrict in her chest until she wasn't sure she was even breathing properly anymore.

"Regina, please-"

"Do what it is you're so good at and leave, Miss Swan."

The bitterness rose up in the back of Emma's throat and she feared she might throw up. It took all of her willpower to hold her stomach's contents - and her tears - back. On shaking legs, she closed the distance and dropped to her knees in front of Regina's armchair, voice breaking and wetness in her eyes.

"Please, Regina, let me explain-"

"I said get out!" the brunette snarled, fingers tightening around her glass, her gaze cold and furious. "I don't want you anymore!"

Emma stumbled back, tears spilling over her cheeks and head twisting away as if she'd been slapped, and without another look back she fled the room, snatching up her boots and fleeing the house. A sob escaped her as she yanked her shoes on, fumbling the entire time, hunched over as her lungs refused to breathe properly.

"I love you," Regina had murmured, their fingers entwined together. "Marry me."

She'd ruined everything.

A glass shattered in the house. Emma tried to muffle her sob by clasping a hand over her mouth, turning back to look at the front door, wondering if it had awoken Henry. A moment later and the curtain in Henry's window pulled back, his small silhouette peering out at her in the darkness, the first time in two months she'd seen her son.

His shoulders slumped. After a moment, the curtain fell back into place.

Emma dragged herself into her car, drove on autopilot to her parents' loft, and stood outside their door with her phone pressed to her ear.

"Emma? What's going on? Are you okay?" Her mother's voice was rough from sleep but growing alert with worry.

"I need a place to stay, mom," Emma croaked out. A second later and two pairs of footsteps ran through the loft, David throwing open the door and Mary Margaret throwing her arms around her daughter.

"Oh, Emma, you're back, you're back," Mary Margaret whispered, squeezing her tightly against her. David enveloped them both, one hand cradling the back of Emma's head, and Emma sobbed into their embrace. They dragged her into their bed and she fell asleep between them for the first time in her life, cheeks tear-stained and dreams haunted.

She picked up the two boxes of her possessions from the Mifflin house the next day. She didn't know if Regina had even been home; her boxes had been left on the porch and there was no answer when she knocked, knowing better than to let herself in.

It wasn't her house, after all. Not anymore.

"Any luck?" Mary Margaret had asked when she returned and silently carried her boxes back into her old bedroom in the loft.

"No," Emma had said, feeling empty.

Henry didn't attempt to contact her until later in the week, texting her to meet him at Granny's. He'd looked stubborn and upset when she first walked in, until tears filled her eyes and she'd said, "I've missed you, Henry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He succumbed to his own tears and flung himself into her arms, holding on so tightly that he just about choked her.

They met up for lunches and dinners after that, almost desperate to stay in contact as if afraid they would lose each other again. Henry said he'd had his mother's approval - Regina was not cruel enough to stop them from being in each other's lives - but the brunette refused to join them and all but became a myth to Emma. Heard of, but never seen, no matter how often Emma tried to catch a glimpse of the woman.

"She's sad," Henry said one day when they sat together at the rebuilt version of his castle in the playground. "She pretends she isn't, but she hasn't been the same since you left."

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered, feeling like a broken record. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, over and over again, not knowing what else she could possibly say.

"You need to fix this." His eyes, so surprisingly like Regina's, bore into her with a fierce kind of determination. "You made her happy. You two belong together."

"She doesn't want me anymore, Henry." Emma swiped at her eyes, hating that she could not stop the tears. She cried too easily now, too often. Her cheeks were permanently chapped.

"That's not true and you know it," he muttered, hopping off the platform and scuffing his shoes in the gravel. "You hurt her so she pretends she doesn't care, but she does. You have to show her that you still love her. You have to prove you won't leave us ever again."

He walked away then, leaving her sitting alone in the playground. It rained and she sat unmoving, letting mother nature soak her to the bone until she was shivering, her lips blue from the cold. Mary Margaret said nothing when she stumbled into the loft and simply wrapped her up in blankets and made them both a cup of hot cocoa.

On a Saturday afternoon a week later, Henry begged his mother to take him riding. She seemed surprised at his sudden insistence but agreed readily, never able to say no to her little boy. To her surprise, he even grabbed onto her hand as they walked towards the stables together, swinging their arms together the way they used to.

"Henry, the trail is this way," she'd called wearily, her horse trotting after the mare he rode as they weaved along through the woods.

"I know. Come on, Mom." He sped up a little and Regina tensed, hurrying after him. What she didn't expect was the picnic set up next to a small stream, painfully reminiscent of the day she'd asked Emma to marry her. Emma had fled.

"Henry, what is this?" she asked, voice breaking. Her son dismounted and motioned for her to join him.

"Thought we'd have a picnic," he said casually, except she knew he was lying because not only was this the exact same picnic Emma had set up - not knowing that Regina kept a ring in her pocket in case the right moment came along - but there was also wine and glasses for two.

Dismounting her horse, she moved to grab him by the shoulder, faltering when Emma herself stepped out into view. The blonde was in jeans and a tank top, muscular arms on display, a temptation Regina had to avoid looking at. Instead she hardened her gaze and grit her teeth.

"I told you to give up, Miss Swan-"

"I won't," Emma interrupted, sadness swimming in her eyes even as she braved a smile and stepped closer. Regina was vaguely aware of Henry slipping away to give them privacy. "I made the mistake of running away because I was scared - because I was a coward - but I won't make that mistake ever again. You and Henry are my family, and I love you both. I'm here to stay, and I'll do whatever it takes to prove that to you."

"Two months," Regina hissed, anger rising again, and Emma nodded.

"I know. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

"How am I supposed to trust you again?" Regina's fingernails dug into her palms, hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. Emma reached out, gently grabbing her hands and glad that she didn't resist.

"Let me earn back your trust," she said, softly, expression gentle and pleading. "Let me fix this, Regina, please. I'll do whatever it takes."

She could see the struggle in those brown eyes she loved so much, caught between betrayal and a desire to reclaim what they'd had. They had been so good, so perfect, so amazingly in love. Emma couldn't understand why she'd run away in the first place anymore. How could she have been so afraid of a life with Regina?

"I love you, Regina Mills. Please, give me one last chance," Emma whispered. Brown eyes blinked back angry tears.

"If you hurt me ever again, Emma Swan, I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do," she said, voice thick with emotion. Emma gave a watery laugh and pulled something from her pocket. When she opened her hand, a beautiful diamond ring sat cradled in her palm.

"Will you hold onto this for me?" she asked, as unconventional as marriage proposals go. "One day, when I've made up for my mistakes, when you trust me again - will you marry me?"

Regina picked up the ring, fingers trembling ever so slightly. It was the very same ring she'd been looking at when she and Emma had been shopping for diamond earrings for Mary Margaret's birthday earlier that year. Regina had made an offhand remark about it being lovely, but Emma had shrugged and gone fawning over a glass bird that her mother might like. Regina just assumed Emma had forgotten all about it.

She'd remembered.

"I'll consider your proposal," Regina murmured, even as she slid the ring onto her finger, a silent promise. A heartfelt smile spread across Emma's face, a smile that could light up even the darkest of places, and Regina was reminded once more of the woman she'd first fallen in love with, a woman who loved so fiercely and yet had been so afraid to give that love away, so used to being betrayed and abandoned.

"Angry as I was - as I still am - I never stopped loving you," she admitted quietly, feeling rough fingers stroke the back of her hands. When she glanced up, she saw the telltale sheen of tears in bright green eyes.

"I'll spend the rest of my life proving that I love you and deserve your love in return," Emma promised, lifting one of her hands to kiss her knuckles. Before either of them could say anything more, a small body collided into them from the side, arms wrapping around their waists and pulling them into a three-way hug.

"No one's allowed to leave ever again," Henry said, his voice muffled where his face was smushed against his mothers' bodies.

"Never again, kid," Emma promised, squeezing him tightly. "You two are my forever home."

"Good," he grumbled. After a moment, he pulled back and scrunched his nose at his blonde mother. "I'm still a little mad at you, though."

"I am, too," Regina supplied with a hand on Henry's shoulder.

"I deserve it," Emma said with a nod of acceptance. "I'll make it up to you both. Whatever it takes."

Regina and Henry exchanged a glance, their eyebrows arched in a way that was eerily similar. The next thing Emma knew, she was being shoved into the stream, flailing and splashing wildly for a moment before finding her footing and pushing the hair out of her eyes with a splutter.

"Deserved that too," she admitted, smiling in embarrassment.

She'd feared that they wouldn't be able to let go of their resentment, that she might have permanently tarnished their relationship beyond repair, but as Regina and Henry clung to each other on the grassy shore, choking with laughter and smiling at her as she snorted water from her nose, she knew they would all be okay.

They were her forever home, after all.