Disclaimer I don't own Harry Potter that belongs to J K Rowling, amazing woman that she is we love you and the universe you created

AN: A Number of quick things to address before the story starts

This story will take place in 2007 onward though the character will have knowledge up to 2016 but nothing like lottery numbers or sports results.

This is a self insert with the main hero taking on Harry's identity.

I don't particularly like Ron and Dumbledore so there will be some amount of bashing of them as well as Molly, however the rest of the Weasleys will not be bashed save perhaps Percy later on because nobody likes Percy.

Those who love Neville may want to avoid this fic as while I do not hate him, I don't particularly enjoy him either so I will mostly be ignoring him. I am not bashing him nor do I hate those who love Neville, I am just not one of those people.

Pairing will be a harem and there will be lemons in, as well as vulgarity.

To alleviate some fears there will be no overpowered-ness in the fic until possibly nearer the end, no rape scenes of decent characters (bad guys are open if the readers request it, though do not get your hopes up if you are into that sort of thing), there will also be limited slash (no Drarry, or Harry and Severus, or Voldemort, or Fenrir, or Lucius), although I am not sure how I would bring this in and I may not even include it at all save for background characters.

There will be violence, blood and gore, references to child abuse and neglect (as well as sweet revenge for said acts) as well as the aforementioned sexy times.

Finally this is my first story so forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes, point them out but be constructive about it, nobody likes a bunch of butt-hurt commenters.

Many people often wonder what the afterlife looks like. Some people imagine it as a paradise in the clouds, others as a pit of burning fire full of torture and damnation. Or perhaps simply a black void. Or a white void. Everyone always thinks of voids when it comes to the afterlife. Other people's ideas on the afterlife meant little to me. I tried not to think about that kind of thing. I believed in no religion, at least not when it came to the stories that some take literally and believe wholeheartedly in, so the concept of death did frighten me, as I had no idea just what to expect when I eventually died. I say eventually as I had no plans on dying early, or at least before I reached a respectable age. At least 60 or so. Maybe get myself a wife and kids too.. You maybe wondering just why i'm talking about what awaits us post-mortem and what my plans are during my life. Or should I say "what my plans were".

By this point you should have guessed that I'm dead. Gone. No heartbeat. "We lost another one doc!". Etc. How? I had a brain fart and stepped out into the road without looking to see if anything was coming. Yes it was a dumb-ass move, and not exactly the best way to go. It really hurt! I'm not kidding, I felt like my entire chest was one giant bruise . Just breathing hurt as my lungs were crushed. And don't get me started on the terrible pressure that was suffocating to death, because of said crushed lungs.

So yeah, not the most glamorous of deaths. And the fucker who ran me over just drove off. Though they'll probably got caught, saw one of those cameras meant to catch drunken hooligans on tape so they can arrest them later. Plus I think I left quite a dent in his/her bumper when he/she hit me. Plus all the blood. Cannot forget the blood. 'Specially since it was mine! At least it probably was, who knows how many people he/she had run over that day. The car did seem to be a different shade of red in some places… Or maybe the paint was just coming off I don't know.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts somewhat so I could focus on my actual surroundings, and not the circumstances that put me here. The room I was in was similar to one of those small scale doctors offices. The ones that only dealt with very minor things or give out prescriptions. The one with the stiff old chairs that seemed faded enough for you to tell it was old, but not enough for them to warrant replacing them. That kind of place. It seemed like it would be cramped, as the place this room was based on so often were, due to the closeness of the seats. However save myself there was only one other person there.

It was a small boy of about 3 and half foot tall. He had wild raven hair that seemed to stick out at all kinds of unnatural angles, and a skin tone that seemed far too sickly and pale to be healthy. He was horribly thin as well, as though he lacked the skin and muscle to cover his body, so what little he had, had to be stretched across himself almost painfully. The child wore horrible threadbare clothing that seemed almost comically over-sized against his insignificant frame, the color looking like it had long been faded or viciously scrubbed out. His eyes however were what drew my attention. They were a bright green. So very bright, it was peculiar. Sure I had heard stories about people with strange eyes that were either a strange color or were particularly bright but I had never met anyone with such eyes. So I was a little taken back by seeing a child with such eyes. But the biggest shock was not the boy's eyes, but more what the whole picture was. He looked like he had been taken out of one of those Abused Harry! Fan-fictions that were so popular. I had read a few myself and did find how the writers of such fics addressed the idea of abuse, and the recovery process that came afterwards. Needless to say I was somewhat (read "very") surprised to see first hand, what could only be an abused, or at least disgustingly neglected child.

I stood there simply staring at the Harry Potter- lookalike and drinking him in. Whether or not he had noticed me, I didn't know. He just seemed to be staring at the ground with one of the most intense stares I had ever seen. At least on one as young as him. If it was a normal, not abused child, I would call it cute. But I knew that this child had gone through a lot in his short life. It was at this particular thought that I realized that he too must be dead. I had been ran over and ended up here, meaning the only reason the boy would be here is if something had happened to cause his own death. Presumably, due to malnutrition or starvation based on his short stature and impossibly thin frame. I was struck by a wave of pity and sorrow for the young boy sitting there, to have his life cut short before he had even reached his teen years. While I had died younger than most, I had at least lived a somewhat decent life. But here he was dead after, what I could only sum up as, a pretty crappy life.

Seeing the child sitting there all alone, and seeing no others to keep either of us company I cleared my throat, causing the child to snap his neck up to look at me and as politely as I could asked "Do you mind if I sit with you? I do prefer to have some kind of company while I wait, you know?". The boy nodded slowly in uncertainty, and I thanked him with a small grin on my face as I sat down next to him, trying to get comfortable on the horribly bumpy seats. We sat in silence for a while, the awkwardness palpable. I was racking my brain for someway to start a conversation, and the boy most likely had no desire to start a conversation with me or presumably any adult. After a few minutes of uncomfortable quiet, I decided that simplicity is often the best course of action. "HI i'm, Will, how are you?" I coaxed, offering a hand to shake.

Again the boy seemed to take great caution in his answer before he replied. "I - I'm fine, thank you. I'm H-Harry" the now named Harry answered, before grabbing my hand with his much more miniature one, giving it a slight shake. Again I noticed the similarities to this Harry and Harry Potter, with the name only cementing the fact that the two were scarily similar. I shook my head clear of the thoughts, to Harry's confusion, and decided to keep the ball rolling.

"Good, good. So, ummm." I paused as I realized I had absolutely no idea of what to say. I had very little interaction with children so I had no clue what sort of things they would be interested in. Fortunately, Harry seemed to be dying (HA) to ask me something, giving how he was wriggling in his seat and glancing at me, the normal signs of having a question you don't know how to ask. Seeing this I gave him a nod, as if silently giving him permission to talk.

"Um, Mr Will. I w-was just wondering, um where, ah are we?" Harry meekly asked, flinching as if he were about to be struck.

Suppressing the rage I felt towards the people who had contributed to his behavior, I instead thought of how to answer the question. I could lie sprout off all kinds of bullshit, like how this is all a dream, or how he's just imagining this. Or I could bite the bullet and come out and say the truth. Looking back at the child, I saw in his eyes a need. A burning need to know the truth, even if it wasn't what he want to hear. "Well Harry," I sighed, knowing I was not about to enjoy saying what came next "I do believe that we are unfortunately quite dead." This of course had the expected outcome. Harry stiffened as though his whole body had been dunked in a pool of freezing cold water. He started to shake, and his eyes brimmed with tears as the revelation tore into him.

After a few seconds, Harry looked at me through watery eyes and said "Are, are you sure we're …?", trailing off at the last second, afraid that finishing the thought would only confirm it. Solemnly, I nodded my head in affirmation. His breakdown seemed to happen in slow motion. He slowly curled up, bringing his legs onto his chair and wrapping them in his arms as he hugged himself, as he quietly wept. I didn't know how to react. All I could think to do was to join him. So I did. I wrapped my arms around him, even as he stiffened and stopped his crying for a second, as I let my own tears fall.

Giving this small, broken child the confirmation that both our lives were over was big not only for Harry but for me, as I had destroyed both our hopes that this was anything else but the afterlife. We sat there, I don't know how long, holding each other as we let our emotions overwhelm us. Harry had eventually relaxed into my arms as we both supported each other through this disquieting event. Eventually, the tears stopped, even as we took shallow breaths, and continued to hold one another. "Thank you" Harry whispered, his head against my chest and his arms around my waist.

"Don't, sniff, mention it kid. And thank you too. I needed a hug just about then." Having, somewhat, finished our emotional breakdowns, I found myself glancing around the room we were in once more. Nothing much had changed, no one new had entered and the walls were the same boring beige, the seats still as uncomfortable as they appeared. But the one thing that was new, was the appearance of a door. Just, poof, a door. Almost like magic. Well given that we were dead, there was little that could surprise me at this point, so a door appearing from nowhere was not truly groundbreaking. Nudging my little friend who was still clinging onto my stomach in a grip which was beginning to get a little uncomfortable, I pointed at the door and told him "I think we're meant to go through there."

Again Harry froze, and looked at me with worried eyes, simply asking "What's gonna happen when we go through there Mr Will?" Seeing him so afraid and asking such a question I just wanted to pull him into another hug, but I knew that we may never leave this place if I just kept giving him hugs whenever he looked like he was going to breakdown.

"I don't know Harry. But we're never going to know if we just sit here doing nothing now are we?" I replied, trying to inject a little enthusiasm, and to encourage him go along with it. Harry pulled himself away from me, staring at the door for a good minute or so before turning to me and nodding, his features set, with little to no hesitation in his eyes. I was proud to see that not all of the boy's courage had been crushed by those who "cared" for him. I stood and grabbed his hand, while gently pulling him to his feet. Together we made our way to the door. I grabbed the handle before glancing at Harry, either to encourage him, or myself I did not , I turned the handle and pushed open the door.

Beyond the portal was what could only be described as a typical office, complete with desk, notebooks, even one of those swirly chairs that everyone who owned one just span on until they were almost sick. The chair also seemed to be facing away from us I noticed. The reason for this was revealed when the chair spun around to reveal a small blonde woman with a megawatt smile on her face. The kind you see on cartoon characters who are probably on crack. Me and Harry continued to stare at the woman who quite frankly looked as if she was an escapee from a mental institute. Saying the first thing that came to my mind I blurted out "You do know the reveal through spinny chair is kinda cliche?".

The woman simply burst out laughing, while Harry gave a little giggle besides me. As they both calmed down after my humorous deadpan, the woman gave us another one of her somewhat creepy smiles. "Ha ha, yeah I know, everyone says that. Still doesn't make it any less funny the next time someone says it. Also I've found people are a lot calmer after they've joked about something. Really helps in this kind of job. Anywho, why don't I introduce myself, I'm Maria and I will be your Death Consultant for today." she finished in what was obviously a practiced line, that she still managed to make sound natural.

I raised an eyebrow at the title Maria seemed to be giving herself. "Wait, what do you mean Death Consultant? Why would we need to consult anyone about anything? We're dead. End of story. So why not just cart us both up to Heaven or Hell or wherever and be done with it?"

"Yeah, w-why are we here Miss Maria?" Harry added.

"Well you two, that is quite the complicated story.", she replied as she pulled out two folders, one with my name on it, and a slightly thinner one with the name Harry J P printed near the top "I'm just going to come out and say it, neither of you two were supposed to die just yet." Me and Harry were both stunned to hear this, as not five minutes earlier we were both breaking down about the fact we were dead, and then coming to terms with it just afterwards. To hear that we were not supposed to die was unbelievable to say the least. Before we could begin to question her about what this meant, she was already continuing. "Now, this actually happens a lot more than you would think. So people like myself were created to help deal with these situations. We help calm down the victims, explain what's going on etc, etc. Afterwards we usually send them back into their body while the guys upstairs try to fix stuff so that A) you will survive being put back into your body and continue to do so, and B) the same mistake doesn't happen again. This doesn't always work, or sometimes the people involved are of greater significance than the masses around them. That is what is true for the two of you." She concluded.

We sat there digesting the information Maria had given us. "So in summary we weren't meant to die and you're here to say we're going back?" I said, giving Maria a look commonly seen on those dying men who found an oasis in the middle of the desert.

"Well, that's what happens normally but not for you two" she at least had the decency to look sheepish and embarrassed as she told us this, and my look turned to one that was like those who found their oasis was really a mirage all along. Kind of a kick in the nuts that one.

"What do you mean not for us? What's so special about us that we can't go back?" I yelled at her,not even noticing Harry flinching once more at my louder more harsh tone. But my rage was justified. This woman had dangled a way for us to live again in front of our noses and then told us it was impossible. What else was I supposed to feel?

While Harry had frozen up at the sound of my shouting, Maria had little to no reaction, other than to continue. "Because we need your help."

Again, I had no idea how to react. This random woman claiming to be our Death Consultant had just told us we couldn't go back because they needed my help? My confusion must have passed onto my face as the woman sighed before carrying on.

"Yes, we need your help. Both of you. Kind of. Let me explain. Harry has a very difficult destiny ahead of him. One that because of his treatment by his 'family'" she spat with a mixture of venom and sarcasm "he may never be able to accomplish, or if he did, it certainly wouldn't end very well for those involved." Maria explained rapidly.

"Wait!" I interrupted "What kind of "destiny" are we talking about here. He's just a kid isn't he?"

"Well if you stop interrupting me maybe I'll be able to explain" she snapped giving me an icy glare which had be cowering in my seat. Who knew such a bubbly woman could have such an impressive glare? Maria sighed again before moving on "Yes Harry here does have an important destiney ahead of him, or at least did before he, you know, um, died." she finished lamely. Once more an awkward silence filled the room before she cleared her throat. "Anywho, his destiny was to kill a certain man and his cronies as well as knock a bunch of sense into a backwards society who thinks that it's a good idea to insult and demean a culture that is miles more advanced, that also outnumbers them like a thousand to one!"

As Maria's explanation turned more and more into a rant, Harry was understandably freaked out by what his so called "destiny" was going to be. I would too if I found out I would have to go around and kill a gang leader and a bunch of his men. Especially if I found out I had to do it at his age. But a number of other details stuck out to me as Maria continued to mumble to herself about "Idiot bigots" and "complete dumbasses".

Rapping my knuckles on the desk to draw her attention I asked "What are you talking about. You say that Harry here has to go kill some gang leader or something and what, clean up society? What society are you even talking about. I know England isn't the greatest place and I know the politicians aren't always the best but I doubt there's enough racists in Government to warrant someone having a whole destiny about getting rid of them. So if it's not England what "society" are we talking about. Some African country perhaps? Or maybe an Asian country with all the child workers and such. So come on what are you talking about? Christ this is all sounding like something out of a children's book for crying out loud!" I finished my rant with an explosive sigh as I collapsed back in my chair, not having noticed I had stood up. I breathed deeply for a few moments trying to catch my breath as the other two just looked at me somewhat shocked. Harry presumably because I yelling for him not at him, and Maria because she most likely did not expect my sudden shouting.

After a tense couple of seconds Maria swallowed and carried on "Well you're not far off with that last statement" she explained bashfully, once again surprising me. "You see Death Consultants don't only deal with deaths in one universe but multiple universes. And in your universe Mr Will, young Harry here is entirely fictional."

When that bombshell was dropped me and Harry both gaped at her, mouths dropped open in sheer disbelief. I was entirely speechless. Alternate universes were real. Fictional characters had their own universes and apparently Harry here was from one of them. Harry stuttered out a choked "W-w-what!?"

Maria turned to him and very gently explained "Don't worry Harry, in your universe you are 100% real, and don't you ever think you're not. But in Mr Will's universe however, you sadly do not exist outside of media."

Her explanation shook me out of my stupor as I asked the one question that had been on my mind since she dropped the fact that Harry was a fictional character brought from his universe here. "But if Harry here's just a creation on my world, purely fictional, what's he from?" I inquired.

Maria gave me a look as if saying 'have you really not figured it out yet?' and said in complete deadpan "Messy raven hair, green eyes, English just like you, wears overly large clothes, goes by Harry. C'mon how many people do you know could fit that description?"

And then the dam broke. The hair, the eyes, the name. How could I not see it before? And there, on his forehead, as Harry turned to face me a puzzled expression on his face and his hair parted just enough to catch a glimpse, was a small, red, lightning bolt scar. It was Harry Potter. The revelation of who I was sitting with caused me to go into a slightly insane fan state. I sat there just staring at him once more as I had when I first saw him, only much more intensely. It was Harry Potter for fuck's sake! He was one of the greatest fictional heroes in modern literature and he was sitting right there. In his adorable pre-Hogwarts body.

I did what any self-respecting fan would do. I pulled him into a hug and squeed. Yes I squeed. I squeed loudly. Harry simply froze in my arms with a look of utter confusion on his face that only made me squee harder at the adorableness he was putting out. Maria gave him a look of embarrassment and slight pity, but also one of longing, like she too wanted to join in on the hugging and squeeing.

After a while I released Harry and stopped squeeing, though it was admittedly hard to do so. Harry Potter had always been one of my favourite stories both when I was younger and even when I was older. I enjoyed the films as much as the books, and I often found myself passing the time by reading a few fanfictions. Most were good, but there were a lot of stinkers in there too. And porn. So much porn. At least it was good porn. Except for the Drarry stuff, that was just disgusting. Not because it was a slash fic, I certainly had no problem with that, I just hated Malfoy a lot, and the thought of them "getting it on" was just vomit inducing.

Harry was still confused with quite a blush on his cheeks, obviously embarrassed at my sudden glomping of him, while Maria simply glanced between us with a neutral expression, possibly hiding her anger at either not being able to glomp Harry herself, or at me for surprising him with my own glomping. "Now" she coughed gaining our attention once more "Harry dear, you're probably wondering just why Will had the urge to just glomp you like that?" at Harry's hesitant nod she explained "The reason to that is because in his world you are the main hero, yes you, in a series of books written by a woman called J. . These books were some of the most popular in the world and were eventually adapted into movies that were just as popular as the books, if not more so. " she finished with the same megawatt smile that she gave us when we first came in.

This did not seem to answer Harry's question that much as he said "But, why would anyone write a story about me. I-I'm not special. I'm just me. Just, Harry."

Hearing him say that oh so famous line gave me a wicked idea. "Well Just 'arry" I said in my best Hagrid impression as I quoted the beloved half-giant "did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or-or scared?"

Harry took on a pensive look, probably remembering those times of accidental magic he had performed in his earlier childhood, like the blue wig and the shrinking clothes. Then, I moved in for the kill. I looked him in the eyes and exclaimed "Yer a wizard 'arry!". God saying that line felt so satisfying, as though I had ticked something off on my bucket list. Harry's face shot up at my outburst, and his face morphed from shock, confusion, acceptance and joy, then back to shock again as the pieces fell into place. To finally have an explanation for all the strange events in his life must have been like someone figuring out the meaning of life. For it to have been magic all along was both nonsensical and unbelievable, as well as the only logical explanation

"Ahem" Maria's cough brought us out of the little moment we were having, but going by her smirk she was as amused by it as I was. We turned our flushed faces back to her. "Yes Harry as Will said you are in fact a wizard. This is best place to start with your "story". On your 11th birthday you were to receive an invitation to a magical school in Scotland named Hogwarts. Stupid name I know but it was pretty common back in the day it was built. Anyway you were to go and have lot's of adventures, many of which no child should have to go through I might add. However during these adventure you would be attacked on numerous occasions by a man going by the name of Lord Voldemort." Harry's already peaked interested raised further at the mention of the Dark Lord's name, linking it to the earlier comment about having to kill a man and his followers. "He is also the reason you have that scar on your head."

And with that she fully had Harry's attention as he seemed to focus an almost scary amount on her, silently demanding an explanation which she was all to happy to provide. "Before you were born there was a war going on. The reasons aren't important but Lord Voldemort was on one side and your parents were on another. One day, a prophecy was made that identified someone who could kill the Dark Lord being born at the end of July, which just so happened to be the day you were born. Voldemort tracked down your parents and killed them. But when he tried to kill you, he failed, due to a last second protection spell cast by your mother." At hearing of his parents murder and his mother's last gift to him, Harry burst into tears, but still urged Maria to continue. "The spell Voldemort cast rebounded and he was defeated. Defeated, but not killed for he had discovered a way to survive death itself. Eventually you would face down Voldemort in a duel and destroy him once and for all."

At this point I saw a need to interrupt. "But you said earlier he wouldn't be able to "complete his destiny" because of his relatives?"

"Yes, because you can't very well kill someone when you've starved to death" she explained, finally giving me the reason as to just how Harry had died. "However this is where you come in Will" she said as she turned to me. I for one was utterly lost. How on earth was I supposed to help kill Voldemort. I wasn't even from the same universe, had no combat training outside of videogames, and was currently dead. My confusion showed as Maria hurriedly explained. "What I mean is we are going to send you into Harry's universe in Harry's stead." This drew us both up short as we stared at her incredulously, disbelieving stares on our faces.

"What-how-why?" I stuttered out.

Maria sighed once more, which I had noticed she seemed to be doing a lot in this meeting, before talking slowly as explaining to a child "We plan to send you to Harry's world to kill Voldemort, by stuffing your spirit into Harry's as of right now, spiritless corpse. As for why, it was kind of a coincidence that you died at roughly the same time and was a Harry Potter fan. So really we just saw an opportunity to fix something and took it." She finished with a shrug and sense of nonchalance, as if casually moving souls in and out of bodies and across universes was commonplace around here.

"And what if we refuse?" I challenged.

"Do you really want to refuse the chance to learn magic and be a kick-ass wizard?" she retorted making me freeze in my chair as my mind began to wander. Why would I refuse. I could learn how to shoot lightning and fly and turn into an animal at will, or turn invisible! As the thoughts began to get even more absurd, Harry drew me back to reality with a question of his own.

"But what will happen to me?" Harry whispered, fear lacing his voice.

"Don't worry Harry, you'll get to go to Heaven, like all good people. Or at least most people call it Heaven. We don't really care about the names you give places here it's all the same in the end. You'll get to be with your parents again."

This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back as me and Harry gave each other a sidelong glance before replying in unison "Deal!"

"Excellent" Maria cheered even going so far as to give a little clap as if congratulating herself on a job well done. "All we need to do know is send you off Harry while me and Will here iron out the details."

Me and Harry faced each other once more. Our eyes were watery. We knew this would be our last goodbye. While I had not known Harry personally for more than perhaps an hour, I cared for the little guy. He was so small and helpless it was hard not to form some kind of bond with him. On some silent cue, we moved forward and embraced each other in a tight embrace as we tried desperately to keep the tears in check. Which meant we were both bawling our eyes out.

"I-sniff-I'm gonna miss you, you know that?" I cried as I squeezed him tight.

"Me-sniffle-too-sniff." Harry choked out, though that may have been either from sadness or from the fact that I was squeezing him a bit too tightly, not that I really noticed mind you.

"Real-really-sniff. I'm really gonna miss you little guy" I said increasing my grip on him as if I didn't he would float away, much to Harry's continued ire.

"Pwlease Shtop" he squeaked out my grasp on him causing him to butcher his words in the most adorable way. Hearing this I quickly released him and apologized while sheepishly rubbing the back of my head. We rubbed our eyes clean though they remained bloodshot and red. Maria cleared her throat and said "All you have to do is go through that door Harry. Then this will all be over."

Harry turned to face the door, and with eyes that were filled not with hesitation or fear like other children his age might've had, his were flowing with determination and anticipation of what was coming. The strides he took as he approached the door were those of a confident man who feared nothing. He grasped the handle and gave it a sharp turn. It clicked. Slowly, Harry pulled open the door. Instead of the bland waiting room there was before, there was only a bright white void. I admit to have been expecting something less cliched but I digress. Harry turned back to me and flashed me a smile. One that said "Don't worry. I'm happy now". And with that he walked through the doorway into the light. The door closed itself as We saw Harry begin to fade away, before we were left alone once more.

Maria gave me a few minutes to come to terms with what had happened and the fact that Harry was gone for good and that I would soon be replacing him. After composing myself I sat back down in my chair and asked "So what now?"

"Now we sort out getting you into your new body" she cheerfully stated. The sudden joy brought me out of my temporary depression if only because of how sudden it was. Handing me the file she had brought out at the beginning of the conversation marked with Harry's name she explained "This is all you need to know about Harry Potter at this point in his life. His friends, or lack thereof, his family, if you can call them that, and how you are expected to act like as him at least for the time being."

"So I don't have to act like him all the time, just for like a few weeks or so?" flicking through the file, taking note of just who Harry knew, and how he behaved around them.

"Exactly!"

"Oh thank God!" I uttered under my breath.

"No thank me! I'm the person helping you here!" She teased me. "Now one other thing I have been instructed to tell you about and I think it's something you're going to love!"

"What do you mean?" I wondered "You're already letting me become Harry Potter what else do I really need?"

The smirk she gave me was similar to the ones parents give their children on Christmas when they know that their presents are exactly what the children wanted and they're just waiting to see their faces when they find out. "Oh nothing much." Maria said somewhat sarcastically "Just Gamer powers, you know nothing major." For me it seemed most of what I did in this conversation was just sit there and gawk as surprise after surprise was dropped on me. This was just one more in a long line of instances that this had happened.

"Wait Gamer Powers? As in stats, levels, quests? Those kind of Gamer powers?" Words could not express my disbelief at the idea. Sure I loved videogames as much as any other person, hell more than most people, but I never thought I would get to live a video game. And not even as myself either!

"Yep all that good stuff. Again you can thank me. I managed to talk the higher ups into giving you this as kind of a gift for, you know, helping us fix our little Voldemort problem."

Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth and wait for her to bite me on the nose, I chose not just keep the conversation going so as to avoid more surprises. "So is that it?"

Maria put on a thinking pose complete with little humming to herself before shaking her head and replying "Nope, least I don't think so. All you need to do is kill Voldemort and his Death Munchers, and clean up the magical world a little. We don't really care how you do it or what you do in-between. It's all up to you. Part of the reason I was able to get you those Gamer powers."

After her little debriefing I sat there for a few moments in awkward silence as she looked at me, again smiling that same almost creepy smile she always seemed to have. "So, um.." I started hesitantly "I guess I just go through the door like Harry did, and, um, wake up as him?"

"Not exactly." Maria answered as she bent down under her desk to grab something.

"Really because it looked like the door just went anywhere, why couldn't I just-" my question was cut off as I felt something heavy impact against the side of my head. As I fell to the ground and began to lose conscious the last thing I saw was Maria holding a baseball bat which she had presumably used to knock me out. "Bitch" I just got out before my world faded to black.