Conversations with a Reindeer

"Anna!?" Elsa called out. "Anna? Where are you?"

Elsa, the beloved queen of Arendelle was getting a bit worried sick. She had spent most of the last hour and a half looking for her sister without any luck. She had searched the entire castle, including Anna's bedroom where Anna sometimes spent hours sorting her wardrobe, the library where she studied with her tutors and even the tower where Anna would go on occasion to hide from her tutors. It was also where she loved to read those books filled with the exploits of foolish people engaging in pointless escapades.

She wasn't with the Royal Guards learning to flail a sword, or with some backwoods logger friend of Kristoff learning to swing her fists like some bare knuckled brawler. Nor was she among the shopkeepers admiring their wares or with Olaf playing snowman games, whatever those were. Anna wasn't at the docks watching the ships come and go nor was she at the shore watching the locals reel in fish.

"Where are you, Anna?" Elsa asked for what felt like the hundredth time today. It wasn't that Elsa didn't appreciate a little time for fun or whimsy, but as a princess of Arendelle and next in line to the throne should anything befall the queen, Anna's time was rarely her own. She had tutors and studies and duties to perform. It was something to which Elsa could relate. But where Elsa embraced the challenge, Anna preferred to avoid it.

Elsa had something very important she had to discuss with the girl and Anna's hiding didn't make it any easier on the Queen Regnant. "Where could she be? Hmmm… maybe she's at the stables."

Kristoff, Anna's beau and now fiancé, was the Royal Ice Master and Deliverer for Arendelle. A reward for his part in assisting Anna to find and rescue Elsa during her crisis of confidence after Elsa's unique powers were inadvertently made public. Kristoff's closest friend was his faithful reindeer Sven. Kristoff, who mostly grew up alone, developed the quirky habit of "talking" to his reindeer as if it were another person. Since the animal could not talk back, Kristoff would then hold up the other end of the conversation by speaking in an odd and warbling "Sven" voice.

Elsa knew this meant that Kristoff was essentially talking to himself, but she tolerated it declaring the odd behavior "cute."

At least it was cute until just recently. Several weeks ago Anna and Kristoff announced that they were ready to get married and sought out Elsa's blessing and permission. On this occasion she gave it readily, happy that Anna had found a far better suitor than that traitorous Prince Hans Westergaard of The Kingdom of the Southern Isles. Kristoff may not have been raised a prince, but he had his own charms and was a most trustworthy soul.

But now Elsa was having second thoughts about the upcoming wedding and she was looking for Anna to try and talk her out of it. Unfortunately, the only living thing she found in the royal stables was Sven the Reindeer.

Queen Elsa stared at the long antlered animal that was native to the Nordic lands. She was about to ask it where she could find Anna but didn't, reminding herself that she would be speaking to a dumb creature. A sure sign of an unstable mind if there ever was one. (Kristoff notwithstanding.)

Tired of searching Elsa sat down on the nearest stool to rest. "On where is that girl?" Elsa asked herself. "She's already cost me a tutoring lesson on Sun Tzu's The Art of War, not that I was actually looking forward to it."

Sven burbled and cocked his head, almost as if he understood what she was saying. Impossible, she thought. Sven was just a dumb animal. A reindeer. A beast of burden.

Sven, who seemingly was smarter than any reindeer had to the right to be, pushed open the door to his pen and carefully made his way over to the woman who seemed to be in great personal distress. Elsa was busy massaging her sore feet when she felt a nudge against her.

"Hurrumng?" Sven murmured, as if asking her a question. Which was totally ludicrous.

"Not now, Sven," Elsa said, replacing her shoe and taking the beast back to its stall. "I'm looking for Anna."

The animal shook its head, almost as if saying "I don't know where she is." Again ludicrous, even if Kristoff did contend that the animal seemed to understand what was being said around him.

Sighing, Elsa locked the stall door and went about looking for Anna again. She stopped a moment to decide where she would search next when she was nudge from behind. "Sven?! How…?"

Somehow he had unlocked his stall and came all the way out for some attention.

"No! Bad reindeer. Do you do this when Kristoff is around? What am I saying? I'm talking to a dumb animal."

"Hurrruungg!" Sven answered, as if offended by what she said.

"No, I'm not talking to you," Elsa replied. "I'm not Kristoff. Now let's get you back to your stall and stay there like a good reindeer."

Sven shook his head "no."

"Do you dare question and defy your queen?" she asked before remembering, "I'm doing it again."

Sven nudged her arm and stared at her with the saddest eyes she had ever witnessed. He mumbled and burbled as if asking, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not talking to you," Elsa replied. Sven continued to give her the look. "No. No! I'm not talking to a reindeer."

Please? Sven seemed to be grunting.

Elsa took hold of Sven's reins to guide him back to the stables but he stood firm, refusing to move. "Come on," she pleaded through clenched teeth. "Stop acting like a baby and go to your stall. I need to find Anna."

The reindeer grunted again. It sound like why?

"Because… ungh… because I don't want her marrying Kristoff."

Instantly the reins felt loose and Elsa nearly fell over. When she righted herself she found herself staring into the furious eyes of one reindeer. Sven had taken a position directly in front of her, his head lowered and his expression was of both hurt and anger.

"Don't you dare," Elsa chided. "I am your queen."

Sven was unmoved. He growled at her as if speaking to her in an irrational voice.

"This can't be happening right now," Elsa complained. "Where are the attendants? Why is Kristoff not doting on you like he often does? And why can I not find Anna?"

Sven stepped forward and shoved Queen Elsa. "How dare you!?" she scorned him. Unfazed, he did it again. Elsa, unwilling to concede to her four legged rival, took Sven by the horns and tried to drag him back to the stables. The reindeer just stood there, not even flinching a muscle even as Elsa struggled and strained to move the beast. Then, rather suddenly, Elsa's shoes lost their purchase and she slid entirely under the animal, holding on only by his antlers.

She could swear he was laughing.

Frustrated and a bit angry, Elsa scampered to her feet. She was fed up with this stubborn animal. "MOVE!" she yelled at him.

Sven yawned. Then he took a confrontational stance, lowered his head and tried to stare her down. Instead of Elsa trying to stare him back, her eyes conveyed true heartbreak. Pain that can only come when one person truly loved another as Elsa loved her sister. It was a deep connection, a familial bond shared between two siblings.

The reindeer stood up from his confrontational stance and dutifully walked back to the stables with Elsa by his side.

She sighed. "Thank you." She knew she was talking to the beast, but it didn't matter. At least she wasn't speaking for him like Kristoff did.

Of course, once Sven returned to the stables he did not enter his pen. Instead, he grunted consolingly and nudged the queen who shouldered a terrible secret. Elsa, rather than try to push him into his stall, instead picked up a brush and began to stroke his hair with it. She seemed to derive some measure of comfort from it.

Elsa, for whatever reason, just began to speak as if needing someone to hear her out. "So what is the problem, Elsa?" she asked herself in her own voice, as if conversing with her own mirror image.

"I have nothing against Kristoff," she answered herself. "I like him very much. He's a vast improvement over Prince Hans, but Anna deserves more. She deserves a peer, a prince of his own land. Not a wrangler of livestock who delivers blocks of ice."

Elsa said nothing more for several minutes, instead preferring the gentle solitude of brushing Sven's back. She was distraught and torn inside. "How do I tell him? How do I tell her? No, it's for her own good. Anna is an adult and a princess, she'll understand."

"And what if she doesn't?"

"She has to, I'll make her if I have to."

"No no. That's not what's bugging you, Elsa. There is something deeper."

"Oh what do you know?"

"I can tell from the sound of your voice," she replied to herself. "You're hiding something. You are lying to yourself. Now tell me what it is." Elsa hadn't noticed it, but she had begun to use her own "Sven voice" when conversing with herself.

"I'm not lying to anyone, least of all myself."

"Well what if she really does find a prince?"

"I would be happy for her," Elsa replied.

"Oh really? I see. And you wouldn't care if, say, the prince took her back to his kingdom?"

"No. It's her life."

"To be his queen when he assumes the throne?"

"I would be very happy for her."

"You would throw her a going away party?"

"And why wouldn't I? She is my sister after all."

"She'll want to hug you goodbye."

"And I will embrace her in return."

"You will stand at the docks watching the royal barge sail from the Kingdom of Arendelle, wouldn't you?"

"Certainly."

"Down the waters of the fjord?"

"I said I would."

"Soon to disappear from sight."

"Absolutely."

"You would wave goodbye?"

"Indeed."

"Forever?"

"Yes. Goodbye, Anna. I hope you have a good life." Then Elsa's breath became ragged and strained. "Enjoy your new kingdom. I know the people there will love you. Visit soon."

"She can't visit."

"She has to."

"She is leaving forever."

"No she isn't."

"But she is. Anna is soon to be the queen. And mother to the heir apparent."

"She can't!"

"She is. Anna will have no time for you."

"No."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she loves her prince."

"She can't love him."

"She does."

"NO!"

"Gone."

"Why?"

"Forever."

"NO!"

"You will never…"

"WAIT!"

"…see her…"

"ANNA!"

"…again."

"Anna, come back! Don't leave me! Not you, too." It was a watershed moment for the young queen. "You are right. I have been lying to myself."

"Why don't you want Anna to marry Kristoff?" she asked herself, still in her "Sven voice."

"Because, I'll be alone."

"But Anna isn't leaving Arendelle. She and Kristoff will live in the castle."

"I will still lose her," Elsa confessed. "Anna is all the family I have left. When we were children I almost killed her. My parents agreed it was best to keep me away from her. I went a step further. I shut her out of my life. I refused to talk to her, told her to go away. My own sister. I acted like I had no sister."

"That was very cruel."

"I was afraid. Afraid of myself. Afraid I would hurt her again. For thirteen years we were apart, figuratively and literally. Thirteen years we missed. Thirteen years we will never get back. No chance to do over again. But now I have her back. I have my sister back and we can make up for lost time."

"Except she is getting married."

"Yes. Getting married. She'll be spending all of her time with Kristoff. Then she'll have children."

"It will be like she's out of your life just like before, won't it?"

"Yes!" Elsa's eyes welled up with tears until they rolled down her cheeks only to disappear into Sven's thick fur. One after another as she wept for her impending loss. "Yes. I'll lose my sister again. I'm going to lose Anna all over again. It will be just like before. Only this time, she'll be the one to shut me out."

"You will be alone."

"Alone? Yes. Alone. More so this time. My parents are gone. Anna is all the family I have left. I can't lose her now. Not when I finally have her back. When I have my family back in my life. We haven't had enough time together as sisters. I cannot lose her again."

"Forever?"

"Forever. Anna can't marry him."

"But what about her happiness?"

"What about mine? Why doesn't anyone care about my happiness?! About how much I need my sister?!" Elsa stopped. She realized just how selfish she sounded. "Oh, how terrible I'm acting."

"Very terrible."

"How could I be so cruel?"

"You are hurting inside. Just like before."

"That's not an excuse. I can't lose her, but I don't have a choice. Anna can marry Kristoff if it makes her happy. Then I will be happy."

"You are lying again."

"Yes. I am. It will be very painful for me. But it's a pain I can live with. I've lived with it before."

Elsa buried her face into Sven's neck, suppressing her tears even as she felt both the catharsis and the anxiety of her admission.

"It helps, doesn't it?" a male voice echoed.

"What?" Elsa, shocked, stood straight up. She looked around. Kristoff was in the doorway.

"It helps. Talking to Sven I mean."

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked him, a touch of anger in her voice.

"Long enough."

"Don't you dare tell anyone-!"

"Not to worry, Your Highness," Kristoff told her, "I respect reindeer / patient confidentiality."

Elsa quirked a doubtful eyebrow at him.

"I don't know if this will make a difference, but Anna feels the same way you do."

Elsa, the queen regnant, cleared the tears from her eyes. "She does?"

"Yes. We spent all night and this morning talking about it," Kristoff told her. "That's why we've decided to postpone the wedding for a while. Family comes first."

Elsa smiled. "Thank you, Kristoff. I know what a sacrifice this is for you."

"Ah, it's okay. But when we do marry, just know that Anna will always make time for you, Elsa. You'll never be alone."

"It is a comfort to know that," Elsa replied, with a gentle smile on her face. "Where is Anna now?"

"She's in the Great Hall waiting for you."

"Shall we?" Elsa asked him, motioning towards the castle.

"Of course." Kristoff guided Sven through the stables towards his stall. "And really, you're actually gaining something."

"Yes, a brother-in-law."

"I was going to say a reindeer-in-law, but that works, too."

"No!"

"Sorry, Your Majesty, Sven and I are a package deal."

Elsa sighed, handing over the brush. "Fine, but you comb Sven from now on."

"Aww," Kristoff replied in his "Sven voice." "But I like it when she combs my hair. She's a great conversationalist."

"Sorry, Sven. Queen's rules. Now come on, back into your stall. And I'll give you an extra bucket of food for helping the queen in her hour of need."