Don't say goodbye

One-shot

A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters. If I did, it would've ended differently.

It has been a month since Yhwach was destroyed. Most of the higher-level shinigami are more or less healed. The only ones that remain at the Fourth Division barracks are mostly unseated officers who will take longer to recuperate, and the humans. All the Arrancar have returned to Hueco Mundo to reconstruct their world.

Here at the First Division, the surviving taichou and fukutaichou gather for a meeting with Kyouraku-soutaichou. As most of them are still recovering, they are all seated in a seiza style instead of how they used to conduct their meetings with the late Yamamoto-soutaichou. It is their first meeting after the war was over. As expected, the soutaichou will be announcing their plans from here forth.

Keeping her head bowed at the far end of the captain-commander's left hand side, Kuchiki Rukia feels a tug in her chest as she remembers how she used to sit behind Ukitake-taichou at meetings like these. She truly misses the kind man who was a father figure to her. She knows deep inside that whoever takes over his place will never hold a candle to his leadership.

"Yare, yare," Kyouraku-taichou's voice breaks Rukia out of her reminiscence. "As your new soutaichou, I wish to thank all of you for your hard work throughout the war. I know you need your rest, so I'll make it short and sweet like my Nanao-chan."

Whack! "Focus, soutaichou!"

Snorts are heard. Some sigh in annoyance while others choose to ignore the usual antics between the soutaichou and his dark-haired fukutaichou as the former adjusts his sakkat with a smirk to the latter. Ise-fukutaichou rolls her eyes and straightens out the stack of papers in the clipboard, which she used to hit her captain on the head.

Kyouraku clears his throat before he speaks again, "Before we proceed, let's have a moment of silence to remember our comrades who fought to their last breath for us. Without their dedication, courage, and fighting spirit, we would not be gathered here today."

Following his order, the captains and lieutenants in the hall bowed their heads. It has been a month but everyone knows that it will probably take a lifetime for them to get over the deaths of their fellow shinigami whom they have worked together with for years, some even centuries.

As Rukia lifts her head after that short moment, she sees Renji giving her a sad but reassuring smile from behind her brother. She returns the gesture with a small smile of gratitude. They haven't spoken much in the past month as she has been spending most of her time with Ichigo at the Fourth Division. After Ichigo was discharged, the two hung out a lot at the barracks of the 13th as the substitute helped her sort out the office she used to share with Ukitake-taichou. Renji was also busy with reports while his captain went around the Seireitei with some other captains to determine how to go about with the repair of Soul Society. Still, as her childhood friend, the redhead knows Rukia is having a hard time grieving and re-organising the division on her own.

"So," Kyouraku booms, earning another eye-roll from his fukutaichou. The rest of the shinigami present look up to hear what he has to say. "After a thorough investigation by Sui-Feng-taichou, Hirako-taichou, Kuchiki-taichou, Hitsugaya-taichou, Kurotsuchi-taichou, and myself, we have come up with a plan on the reconstruction of the Seireitei."

Ise-fukutaichou hands her clipboard over to Kyouraku who skims through the document attached. He then lifts his eyes to glance around the shinigami in the hall, takes a deep breath, and begins, "We have found that there is still a massive amount of Yhwach's reiatsu which has remained in all the locations he had been before his end. We do not know how long it will take for this energy to dissipate. According to Kurotsuchi-taichou, under normal condition of the Seireitei, it will take at least 30 years for it to disappear entirely.

"However, given the destruction that has befallen our world, there is no certainty if it will vanish even after a hundred years. Kurotsuchi-taichou has taken a sample of this reiatsu for analysis. He and his team will immediately research on ways to accelerate its dissolution when his laboratory becomes fully functional.

"As such, we will begin reconstruction work with his barracks before proceeding to repair the rest of the Gotei 13 stations. Only then, will we be able to pick up the pieces for the rest of Seiretei and Rukongai."

He looks up again at the faces of all the worn-out survivors of the Thousand-Year Blood War before he continues, "We have also found that the reiatsu is seeping through the gates in small amounts. We do not know if these amounts will increase through time but it is highly perilous to residents outside of the Seireitei. Presently, the garganta has been sealed to protect the inhabitants of Hueco Mundo. The Arrancar have all been informed of this and as it is already in our agreement that they will find alternative means of substance to replace the human souls, they will not be making an appearance in the world of the living. Hence, the senkaimon will also be sealed until such time that we are certain that Yhwach's energy is completely gone."

Rukia furrows her brows when she hears the soutaichou's last statement. From across the hall, Byakuya casts her a solemn gaze, which only she can decipher from his stoic expression. Does that mean that...

"So there will be no travelling to and from the living world when that gate is sealed?" Yadomaru-taichou asks.

Kyouraku dips his hat a little. He knows this will be a topic of concern for the Visored as they have made their home in the world of the living for over a hundred years. "Yes, that's rite, Lisa."

"What about the Visored?" Otoribashi-taichou queries. "Some of us prefer to stay back in the world of the living. And I know I'm also speaking for Shinji, Kensei and Lisa, that we would still like to drop by once in a while even though we are stationed here."

It is Shinji who speaks up this time, being a part of the investigation team. "Rose, after our discussion of this issue, we've come to the conclusion that the four of us will have to stay in the Seireitei until the senkaimon is ready to open once again."

"What?" Muguruma-taichou exclaims but goes into a fitful cough.

The Fifth Division waits patiently for his comrade to settle down. "I'm sorry, Kensei. But this is the only way. We need to prevent any more of Yhwach's energy from entering the world of the living. The humans will die if they are exposed to it in high quantity. The unseated Visored will leave with the humans and stay there to assist in performing konso on plusses. We will have a small gateway to allow souls with very minimal reiatsu to enter Soul Society. This is for the purpose of soul governance to ensure the total souls in the human world and here remain balanced. Any soul, living or dead, with high reiatsu will not be able to travel between the two worlds until the senkaimon is open again."

Muguruma-taichou sighs deeply. This means being separated from Mashiro and the rest for kami-knows how long. He nods in understanding. Lisa bites her lip as she picks on her nails while Rose's fists are clenched on his lap but he remains silent. They all know they have to make sacrifices in order for Soul Society to get back to its former state.

"Soutaichou..."

All eyes turn to the direction where the voice comes from at the end of the hall.

"Yes, Kuchiki-fukutaichou," Kyouraku acknowledges.

"When will the senkaimon be sealed?" she asks, fighting the anxiety building up within her. It cannot mean what she thinks it means. Even as she is looking at the pink haori-clad man at the other end of the hall, she can feel her brother's concerned eyes on her.

"Tomorrow, Rukia-chan," Kyouraku replies solemnly. "After all the humans and some of the Visored have made their final journey back to world of the living..."

Rukia stands at the edge of the Sokyoku Hill after the meeting as she tries to think of the best way to break it to Ichigo. She has sent a jigokucho to tell him to meet her here in an hour. One hour is all she has to prepare herself. She also doesn't want to delay the inevitable seeing as they do not have much time together. He will be leaving tomorrow morning with the rest and she doesn't know if she will ever see him again.

It is ironic how fate seems to always get in their way. They'd thought that with Yhwach gone and there is finally peace between the three worlds, they could finally be together. Her mind drifts back to two weeks ago when it happened.

It was late in the evening when they'd finished sorting out the second cabinet of files in the office. Rangiku had dropped by with some bento meals she bought from one of the few izakaya that was not destroyed during the war. Ichigo and Rukia were grateful for that because it meant that they did not have to leave the barracks of the 13th. They were too tired after a whole day of cleaning and organising the mess that was left since the war.

Sitting on the tatami floor against the inner wall of the office with his legs spread out, he motioned for Rukia to sit next to him after she had discarded their meal boxes. She slumped down lazily and leaned into him when he put an arm around her shoulders. It was nothing new to them, this proximity between them. Years back, during her stay at the Kurosaki Clinic, they would hang out like that on the rooftop after a hollow hunt, just gazing at the stars in companionable silence.

Rukia was about to doze off to the comfort of Ichigo's warmth when he lightly pushed her head towards him and planted a lingering kiss on the side while inhaling the scent of her hair. She was stunned for a moment as she turned to look at him, heat rising in her cheeks. He had never kissed her before.

"Ichigo..."

His amber eyes gazed back at her. The two were quiet again, just staring into each other's eyes before Ichigo lifted his free hand to caress and then, cup her cheek. As their eyes held a quiet conversation, the corner of his lips tilted upwards a little and he brought them down to gently touch hers.

She gasped and for a moment she didn't know what to do but eventually, she returned the kiss. It was intimated. It conveyed a message of true and strong feelings, which they held for each other for a long time. Time, that never allowed their relationship to progress any further.

When they broke apart for air, Ichigo lifted her light body and sat her on his lap, wrapping both arms around her. "I was afraid we would never have this moment." His voice was low and husky in her ear.

Rukia blushed even more, her heart racing in her chest she knew he could hear it too. "I didn't think you'd feel this way," she said, her fingers skittering across his jaw where a light stubble had grown. This ryoka was no longer the 15-year-old boy whose life she crashed into.

He enclosed her hand in his and brought it up to kiss the skin on the inside of her wrist, keeping his eyes fixed on hers before he said, "I was close to giving up during the fight with that Quincy bastard when I thought of how far I've come to be who I am. All those adventures I had with you kept me alive and I wanted to live so I would be able to see you again. So I would be able to tell you how I feel about you." He placed her hand on his chest above where his heart was beating so she could feel that it was reverberating the same rhythm as hers.

She chuckled nervously, biting her lower lip while her violet eyes sparkled in elation. "Wow, that coming from Kurosaki Ichigo, saviour of the worlds."

The orange-haired shinigami tightened his hold around her with a scowl on his face as he pinched her thigh through her shihakusho. "And that's the last time I'm saying crap like that, Midget."

Slapping his chest, she snapped, "Call me that again, you overgrown strawberry and I'll..."

Her threat was lost when he crashed his lips upon hers, her words swallowed by him as he teased her mouth over and over again until she granted his tongue access to dance with hers.

What was meant to be a playful make-out session escalated into something passionate which they never expected to happen. But there was no regret or second guesses and it was how they would express their love for each other many nights that followed. They felt the bond they shared all these years had finally been sealed into a covenant. It was a night that held the promise of an eternity together.

"Rukia?"

She turns to the concerned voice next to her. She is so lost in thoughts she doesn't realise that Ichigo has arrived at the Sokyoku Hill. So lost she doesn't realise there is a trail of tears down each of her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he asks, cupping her face with both hands and wiping the tears with the pad of his thumbs.

Damn... It isn't in her plan to tell him the news immediately upon his arrival. She doesn't know how to begin. So she does the first thing she can think of. She wraps her arms around his torso and holds him really tight.

He doesn't know what is going on so he returns the embrace, resting his chin atop her head. The only time he has seen her cry was before Byakuya and Renji took her away from him. This time, though, the tears look accidental. There are no sniffles. It's like she didn't mean to cry. She still has that unwavering Kuchiki mask on. Maybe she's emotional about Ukitake-taichou. She just came out of the captain and lieutenant meeting, after all. Why else would she have asked him to meet her here? This is the place where she always seeks solitude, as ironic as it may seem that it is the place she was almost executed.

After a while, she pushes away from him, takes his hand, and leads him to sit down at the edge of the hill. With their legs dangling off the cliff, he waits for her to say what is on her mind. He knows that in time, she will. They have no secrets. That's how much they trust each other.

"Promise me you won't freak out?" she requests.

He scoffs. "When you ask me that, it simply means you know I will freak out. I can't promise you anything, then. What is it?"

She drags out a breath, steadies herself, and says, "Kyouraku-soutaichou has issued a decree to seal the senkaimon tomorrow."

He furrows his brows as he looks at her. "Meaning?"

She touches a palm to his face. "Ichigo, they are ceasing all travels between the human world and the Seireitei after you leave."

"For how long?" he asks, his voice trembles a little. From the look on her face, he already knows this is going to have a horrible impact on their relationship.

"No one knows yet. It is to prevent Yhwach's deadly reiatsu from going across to your world," she replies. Your world, she says. Because that's how it is, still. They are both from two separate worlds. The man who wanted to merge those two worlds, they had already had him killed.

Ichigo shakes his head very slowly, it almost look like he doesn't move at all. "The guy is dead. I'm sure his reiatsu will eventually die with him."

"Yes, it will. But what's left of him is huge and it's scattered all over the Seireitei. It will take many, many years for it to completely die off. And because Seireitei is struck so bad, it'll take even longer for that to happen," Rukia explains.

"So, what now? I'm not allowed to come back here to visit you?"

"I'm sorry," she chokes.

He takes her hands in his. "I'm going to find a way to come back. It's what I always do."

"Ichigo..." She draws his hands up to her lips and kisses his fingertips. This time she can feel the stinging in her eyes. It is so hard. They are both trying to stay calm. Ichigo is trying to think of a solution. But she knows there isn't any except to wait it all out. "I know it's not going to be easy. But I need you to do something for me."

He swallows. He doesn't nod. He knows Rukia is going to suggest something incredulous.

"Please go home and live a normal life. You deserve that. You don't even have to be a shinigami anymore. There will be some Visored stationed there to perform konso. The Arrancar has agreed not to enter the human world anymore and feed only on the souls that are sent to Hueco Mundo. A small gateway to cross over here will be built but it is only for those plusses with very little reiatsu. So, don't even think of dying prematurely to get here. That gateway won't be able to hold yours," she pleads.

He takes his hands back and folds his arms across his chest. He wants to shut her out because he cannot accept what she is telling him to do. "What normal life? Right now, this is the only life I know that's normal to me. How long did they say it would take for that damn energy to disappear, Rukia?"

"Maybe even a hundred years." She, too, crosses her arms. She does it to prevent her walls from crumbling. She can almost hear the cracks now.

"No," he says defiantly. "I'm sure Mayuri will come up with something."

"He is trying to but it will take time. We need to repair his lab before he can start his research. And even if there is a way he can speed it up, it'll still probably take one lifetime of yours before the senkaimon can be opened again." She grips the sleeves of her shihakusho.

"I cannot live like that. I cannot go back and think everything is okay when I know I may not see you again. If that's the case, I'd rather stay here."

Why is he so stubborn? Then again, it is this part of his character that attracts her to him. He is always so determined, so persuasive.

She smiles but her lips twitch as she tries to hold back a sob. "You're not dead yet, idiot. You can't stay here. It will interfere with the balance of souls. Besides, your sisters need you. Our friends need you. You need to go home," she pauses as her voice begins to quiver. "Continue your studies. Get a job. Date. Marry a human girl. Have a bunch of kids and live till you're old and grey before you die a happy death."

A tear escapes Ichigo's eye. It's not fair. They just started this thing that they have always wanted. Their promise. Their covenant. Why is fate such a cruel thing? "You're asking too much of me, Midget," he says through gritted teeth.

It is funny how his nickname for her that used to enrage her now sounds so endearing. She would give anything to hear his voice calling her that for the rest of eternity. But nothing she gives will ever be enough to change their destiny. Whoever up there who carved their lives to entwine with the string of fate only to cut it off in the end must have been an atrocious being.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo." Now, she lets the wall crumble. She lets go of all she has and cries her heart out.

He immediately takes her into his arms. She should not have to apologise. It isn't her fault. They both hold each other like that for a long time. When her eyes become heavy, Ichigo shunpo them back to her room in the 13th Division barracks where he lays her down on the futon they have been sharing for the past few weeks. Instead of dozing off, though, she pulls him down to kiss him and they hold a vigil of a night of passion that would be their last.

They do not sleep a wink until the sun rises in the morning and they know they have barely an hour left to be together.

Ichigo nudges the wide-eyed Rukia on his bare chest who is staring into space. She looks up at him and gives him a smile that does not reach her eyes. "I can't say it's a good morning."

"Neither can I," he sighs and digs into his shihakusho on the floor beside him. He pulls out a small velvet box and holds it on his chest in front of her.

Her jaw drops as she gets up slowly and leans her weight on her elbow. "Wha-?"

"I got it yesterday when you were at the meeting," he says. "I guess I can't tell you to marry me anymore."

Tears pool in her eyes. She is speechless as she sits up and stares at the box.

Ichigo also gets up and opens the box to reveal a platinum ring with an amethyst stone. "If fate was on our side, would you have married me, Rukia?"

She is sobbing now. Her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as she covers her mouth with her hand and nods.

He sniffles. His eyes are red but he wants to remain the stronger one. He takes the ring out of the box and slips it on her finger. It fits her so beautifully. His amber eyes, in all its weaknesses and brokenness gaze into their mirror in hers. He gives her a chaste kiss on the lips.

Rukia shakes her head. "I can't accept this, though. I will never be able to be your wife, Ichigo."

He kisses her lips again and then, the ring. "I picked this one for you. No one else will ever wear this. Tou-san brought me to this shop in the First District to get it. The crazy old man was so excited when I asked him where I could find something like this. He's going to be so devastated."

"Were you planning to propose last night?" she asks.

He nods. "Yes. I wanted to do it before I leave. It just felt like the right thing to do. I thought we could maybe get married once I'm done with my studies."

Rukia lies back down on the futon, pulling him down with her and they become one for the last time.

When the senkaimon opens, they keep their eyes on each other for as long as they can. They don't say goodbye.

Things are changing

It seems strange and

I need to figure this out

You've got your life

I got mine

But you're all I cared about

Yesterday we were laughing

Today I'm left here asking

Where has all the time gone now

I'm left alone somehow

Growing up and getting older

I don't want to believe it's over

Don't say goodbye

Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're gonna say goodbye

Omake

Three years later, Rukia is forced by the Kuchiki elders to marry. She chooses her best friend, Renji. It is easier that way.

Two years later, Isshin's gigai starts to fail. To fulfill his father's wish for a grandchild, Ichigo marries Orihime. It is easier that way.

Five years later, Kurotsuchi Mayuri finally discovers a way to accelerate the dissolution of Yhwach's reiatsu. The senkaimon opens for the first time in ten years.

Fate sure has a way to fuck things up for Ichigo and Rukia.

I'm sorry if the quality of this fic deteriorated towards the end. I just got angrier. Probably that's what happened to Kubo as well. Hence, the shitty ending.

'Don't say goodbye' is by Skillet. Go check it out. A little warning, though: you might get even more depressed listening to it.

I promise I will write something less angsty next. Not sure how that's going to happen since angst is the theme post-686.