'Til Then

When I woke up, I was alone. My mother informed me that Komaeda had moved to the dorms at school. Once school ended, Komaeda showed up to transport his clothing to his new place. I helped him move everything. It's rather awkward helping someone do all this when you know...Well…

Ignoring that, the dorms are actually pretty nice. To be expected from Hope's Peak.

It's quite lonely getting up in the morning. Colder not having somebody suffocate your body every time you try to sleep.

Honestly, I'm not shocked that he decided to move out. I mean, although my mother does appreciate the help around the house, we don't have enough money to support so many people in our house. It's just too much. He's too self-deprecating not to think he's being a nuisance.

I still haven't talked to him about it, yet. I spent the whole day just trying to comprehend it. Why would someone like an average person like myself? Honestly, I don't know what to say. I've never really been in a situation like this before...And with a guy, too...Ugh...I don't know...I don't know…

…

It's lunch of another day. Let's do my routine.

Walk up this hill, sit on the grass. Wait. Oh! There's that hair. He seems happy, as usual. He sits down right next to me. When I first met saw him, I saw him as this strange white-fluffed, unhealthy, upperclassmen. Now, when I look, I see this kind of...Beauty. I don't know how to describe it. I don't know if my brain is playing tricks on me or something because I've never seen him like this. His face looks so smooth and his hair looks so soft, like a cotton ball. His eyes have a presence of grey, yet a subtlety of green, it's almost difficult to tell which color they really are.

"Naegi-kun? Are you feeling sick again?"

"Hm? No. I'm fine. I was just spacing out."

Awkward. Super awkward. Super duper awkward.

"Are you sure you're not questioning the beauty of," Oh god no. Is he- "...Why are you making that face? I can take you to Tsumiki-san again if you really aren't feeling well."

"No no no no! I'm fine."

Don't overthink things. Don't overthink things. Don't...Okay. Hand him his lunch.

"Here you go."

He takes it willingly.

Yes! Score! Finally, something normal. I shouldn't-

"Here's yours."

He reaches it outwards towards me with an honest and pleasant smile. I take it. It's beef and vegetables. I take a bite. It's delicious. The flavors all melt together so nicely, you can taste just how the meat was cooked when it was on a bone. When did Komaeda get this good at cooking? Did I just not notice it? Am I playing tricks on myself again?

He laughs. "Looks like you're enjoying it. I had Hanamura-kun help me with it."

So that's why.

We sit and eat our food for a while. The silence is rather glaring, filling the air around us with its openness. I want to say something, but I'm not quite sure to ask. I wonder if he's feeling the same thing. When I look, I can't really tell. He always has that plastic façade.

No.

This isn't what I came here for. I came to this school because I thought I'd turn out for the better. This me isn't better. I need to have courage, I need to be brave. I need to stop hiding. I need to just say it. I need to have Hope.

"Nagito. I love you."

All movements in his body come to an abrupt end. He sits still, like a statue. He's trying to take in my words, analyze each part of them, trying to take it apart, but it doesn't compute. He drops his chopsticks.

He turns his head to the side, to look right at me.

"Huh?" I look right back at him. He looks down at himself. "You...Love someone like me? That's...That's…" He laughs. "Things like that aren't very funny, Naegi-kun."

"I...I…" Collect your thoughts. Collect your thoughts. "I really mean it!"

"But I've done such horrible things and you can still say that you honestly, feel that way?"
"You can overcome those issues. It isn't always easy. In fact, it's hard. It's painful. But you've already become a better person. Remember way back then when you'd mock me for just being a lucky student? Look at how far you've come. You're not even that rude to Hinata-kun anymore."

"But that isn't any reason to love me. You're blinded by all Hope you have. It's beautiful, I must admit, but you just can't see straight."

"No. That's wrong. You once asked me what Hope is to me. I'm going to have to change my answer. You are my Hope. And from you, I know now that anyone can have Hope. Not just me, not just the people who go to the school. Everyone can have Hope. When I first ever step foot here, I wanted this school to turn me into a better person. I didn't know that it wasn't me who'd turn out better. It's because I was able to talk to you for all these days that I realized that I don't just need to get better for myself, but for you, too. That's why I love you. Nothing can change that."

He looks at me, our eyes staring right past any façade that we may be putting up. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He smiles a real, honest, beautiful smile.

"I'm glad you feel that way, too, Makoto-kun."

Thank you for reading this!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it this much to read all the way to the end. It means a lot.

Although this is the end, I may write some one-shots as a kind of epilogue, so stay tuned!