Alright, kiddos, here's a tale for ya that I guarantee* will astound and titillate your senses! Be shocked! Be awed! Be completely goddamn confused!

Oh, and if the cursing wasn't a clue, this fic is prohibitively rated M for naughty words, saucy implications, some darker moments and at certain points; a spot of the old ultra-violence. Despite all that, I hope this story is more humorous to those reading than anything else, so expect to laugh more than cry.

Also, I assure those reading that I do not own Ranma ½ or Teen Titans, and I have absolutely no desire to claim otherwise. (Despite the OODLES of money that would send my way…*sniffle*)

:UPDATE: Edited minor grammar errors and subtle language tweaks.

Quick Key:

"Spoken words"

(thoughts)

{Another language, translated}

[Sign Language, nyuk nyuk]

Emphasis, or an untranslated foreign word, or words being heard through a medium or at a distance, like an announced through a television/PA system.

And now, Avaunt!

Reformations Chapter 1

A Girl, a Panda and an Alien all walk into a Dojo

-Prologue: 2 months ago…-

"Stupid old man."

A redheaded girl with a thin ponytail, clad in a dirty karate gi, growled as she sat up in a tree on the outskirts of yet another town she and her father had been run out of. Or rather, had fled from to escape the psychopathic Amazon that wanted to cave in her head. As the townsfolk would be unwilling to shelter a pair of strangers, or rather, a girl and her pet panda when a rampaging martial artist was looking for them; she and her father had beat feet away from the village.

Sadly, the source of Ranma's ire was nowhere in sight, as Genma had insisted they split up for safety. Here, insistence meant Ranma-chan hadn't realized she was alone until she'd finally lost Shampoo, and she had no doubt as to whose safety was being insured by their separation, as the Amazon was only looking to kill her.

As the redhead bemoaned her lot in life and debated running away into the wilderness rather than meet up with her father at the last cave they'd camped out in before their disastrous sojourn into civilization, movement caught Ranma-chan's eye and she looked up in time to catch a shooting star. While not superstitious, she was well aware that certain people found omens or portents in such signs and snorted disdainfully. (Little late to warn me of impending doom, star. What could possibly happen now that could trump a freakin' curse?)

The redhead paused, squinting at the shooting star and realizing she could make out a distinct violet color to it. Furthermore, it looked like the star was getting brighter...or rather, coming closer…

-Present Day-

We've seen this song and dance before. A winners of the participation trophy in the 'Father of Year' awards sits down his three daughters and tells them that they've been put into an arranged marriage with the son of a family friend.

"How old is he? Young men are so...immature."

"Is he cute?"

"Ha ha ha ha haaaa…..no idea."

"...excuse me?"

"I've never met the boy."

Cue three girls wearing assorted expressions, all of which amounting to a unanimous [what the hell…] and we shall move on.

OOOOOO

Once again, a familiar scene, with a redheaded, pigtailed girl being chased by a panda through an otherwise quiet neighborhood.

After trading a few blows, which brought quizzical looks from surrounding bystanders who mused that it might be some kind of street performance, the girl assumed a karate stance and declared, "Your move."

Then, a shadow came down the road behind the panda, darting in quickly and before the stunned onlookers can react; the black-and-white bear's head snapped forward as a flying double drop kick hit it flush in the back of its skull and sent its face straight into the asphalt. The perpetrator of the inter-species assault rolled over the collapsing panda and landed next to the redhead, revealing another girl; taller than her companion with pitch-black straight hair that descended past her shoulders, wearing a form-fitting indigo Chinese pantsuit which complimented the girl's violet eyes.

The newcomer's haughty, irritated expression marred her otherwise attractive features, even if the lightly tanned-orange skin would have been considered unusual, except Nerima is an unusual place (in the same way that the ocean is damp), so she merely fell under the heading of 'exotic'. As she glared at the crumpled form before her, her companion said, "Thanks Komie-chan." In a satisfied tone.

"No problem." The dark-haired ambusher offered placidly. "He's had that coming for awhile."

"No kidding," the redhead acknowledged as she picked up a large traveling pack, which clinked softly as she shouldered it and said, "Let's get out of here." before gesturing away from the panda.

"Sounds good to me." 'Komie' agreed as made to follow the other girl. Unseen by the pair however, the panda had pushed itself up and was glaring at the two of them. As the witnesses commented on the bear's impressively thick skull, the panda grabbed a nearby stop sign out of the ground, and with two quick strikes, sent the two girls to dreamland. After hefting their limp forms over each shoulder, the panda snarled at the pedestrians and sent them scurrying before walking away through the now empty street.

OOOOOO

Akane was pissed, and understandably so. Not enough she has to deal with Kuno and the horde, now there's going to be some strange boy living in her house, who she might have to marry? It wasn't fair! At least she had something of a chance to get out of it as her older sisters might end up engaged to the pervert.

Suddenly, the sound of shouting came from the front door and Nabiki jumped to her feet, declaring excitedly, "I bet that's him!" before running into the hall. She was closely followed by her father, who called a greeting to his old friend Saotome while Akane sighed and stood up along with Kasumi. But by the time the two girls reached the corner of the living room, her sister and father we running back towards the pair with fear-stricken expressions, followed by...

Akane did a double take. There was a panda in her house. A panda walking on its hind legs, carrying two people over each shoulder like sacks of rice, albeit very lively sacks of rice that were shouting and kicking the strangely docile animal.

"Cut it out, old man!" A redhaired figure in a black and red Chinese styled pants and shirt combo hollered in a rough, high-pitched voice while trying to elbow the panda in the back of the head. "You're scarin' em spitless!"

"I'll show this fat rashtru'nakeesh scared!" Snarled a black-haired girl who was also wearing Chinese styled silk, save hers was matching in color and design. Despite the finery of her outfit, her words were anything but refined...or at least the ones Akane could understand. "If he doesn't let me go right X'hal-damned NOW, I'm gonna stick a larborg up his vurthmar until he coughs up mizzlnoks!"

While Kasumi and Nabiki commented on the idea of their father's old friend being a panda, which the mustachioed man denied with a swift shake of his head, the bear stopped in front of them and placed its cargo in front of them. The redhead looked away shyly from the Tendo's while the dark-haired girl sighed, crossed her arms and nodded her head in a perfunctory acknowledgement of the family presence.

Soun regarded the girl and her somewhat rude behavior. "Excuse me, miss? You are-"

"Annoyed."

He blinked at the brusque reply and two of the three sisters narrowed their eyes at the disrespectful girl while Kasumi pursed her lips in a small frown. The redhead quietly admonished her companion with a stern, "Komie…"

In response, 'Komie' sighed and straightened up, bowing to the Tendo's. "Sorry. My names Komand'r, I've just had a very rough day today."

Soun smiled, feeling mollified as he replied, "We've all had days like those my dear."

"Oh my," Kasumi tapped her cheek thoughtfully. "I thought you said your friend Genma had a son, not a daughter."

At this, the redhead snorted rudely as the panda 'growf'ed and vigorously shook its head while Komand'r grimaced and spat, "Oh X'hal no!"

The bear and girl then glared at each other in irritation, while Soun turned to the redhead and asked, "Then...you would be?"

"...Ranma Saotome." The redhead answered quietly, before adding a soft, "Sorry about this."

"Oh, he's cute!" Nabiki beamed as she leaned around her father for a better look at the future groom or brother-in-law.

Komand'r grinned at the brunette and nudged Ranma. "Hey, she's got good taste!"

While Nabiki smirked at Komand'r, Ranma grumbled, "You're not helping, Komie." Before Soun suddenly stepped forward and embraced the redhead with an emotional, "It's great to meet you, son!"

Blackfire stared at the suddenly grabby older man and held up a finger in a 'wait a moment' gesture. "Uhh, you might have jumped the gun there, whatever your name is."

While Akane queried, "What's that supposed to mean?" Nabiki watched her father's back stiffen before he stepped away from his future son-in-law. Then the suspicious middle daughter caught Soun's horror struck expression and focused her attention on Ranma...or rather on Ranma's chest, which filled out 'his' red silk shirt a little too well for a man's pecs.

As she reached out and gave the redhead's chest a squeeze, Ranma blushed and murmured, "Umm, please stop doing that?"

"Or at least buy her dinner first." Komand'r offered with a sneaky grin.

Kasumi matched Ranma's blush and exclaimed, "Oh my!" While a small smile of relief formed in Akane's face and Nabiki yanked her hand away from Ranma's chest with a shocked yell of, "Her?!" She then immediately hit her father with a full force glare and angrily remarked, "They're BOTH girls!"

Floor, meet Soun. Soun, meet floor. Play nicely you two.

OOOOOO

The Tendo sisters and their guests were gathered around their insensate patriarch, keeping quiet as they waited for Soun to recover his senses. As they waited, Komand'r eyes occasionally flicked to Ranma and gave her a quizzical, suspicious look.

When Soun awoke, Nabiki was first to lay into him by declaring sarcastically. "Great job, dad! You couldn't have checked if the guy we were supposed to marry was actually a guy first?!"

"When Genma said he had a son, I assumed it was a boy!" Soun fired back in a tone that was strangely powerful coming from a man who'd only recently awoken from a dead faint and was laying on his back.

"Does this look like a boy to you!?" Nabiki sassed as she reached out to grab Ranma's chest again.

Only to be stopped by a hand on her wrist, which belonged to Komand'r, who was sitting on Ranma's opposite side and looking annoyed at the page-cut brunette. "Hey, hands off the goods!"

Nabiki pursed her lips and glared at the dark haired girl, while Akane said, "She's right, Nee-chan." In a remonstrative, but chipper tone as she stood next to Ranma and separated her sister from one of their three visitors. "They're guests, and this isn't their fault."

"Damn right." Blackfire muttered, giving the panda a meaningful, narrow-eye'd look, which brought a dismissive chuff from the beast.

While Nabiki wondered how the animal could've been at fault for this situation, short of being the one who carried Komand'r and Ranma into the house, the redhead jerked as Akane touched her shoulder, and looked up to see the youngest Tendo smiling at her. "My name's Akane. Do you want to be friends?"

Ranma blinked, then visibly brightened while Blackfire looked at the bluenette with interest as the redhead hesitantly answered, "Okay." with a hopeful smile.

OOOOOO

"KIAI!"

With a crash, Akane's hand was buried up to the wrist in the wall of the dojo as she attempted to strike the dodgy redhead. But power means nothing if it can't be placed properly, as Ranma easily flipped over Akane and poked her in the back of the head following the bluenette's inaccurate strike..

Akane slowly turned to look at Ranma, stunned by how easily she'd been beaten, while Ranma gave a slightly nervous giggle. The bluenette soon joined in, and both girls shared a friendly laugh as they let the adrenaline from their sparring match fade.

The moment ended at the sound of clapping from nearby, and both girls turned to see Blackfire where she was leaning against the wall of the dojo. "Not bad, not bad." She mused. "You got a lot of power, but you need to work on your defense a bit."

Akane's cheeks flushed at the critique and hesitantly replied, "I guess I do." as she looked down in an attempt to hide her reddened face.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad." Ranma countered helpfully, apparently worried about offending her new friend. "I've just been practicing for a long time, you know?"

"True, but that just means she needs to work harder." Komand'r advised bluntly.

Akane rubbed her arm in embarrassment, and missed the ugly scowl Ranma shot the dark-haired girl, who looked between the redhead and Akane with an inquisitive expression. The redhead's face shifted into something resembling pleading and Komand'r rolled her eyes. "Sorry. I'm not trying to be harsh. I'm saying there's a goal to shoot for." She chuckled. "Hell, I've been training with Ranma for almost 2 months, and all that means is I can hold my own for about 30 seconds before I get schooled."

"Really?" Akane looked up at the dark-haired girl with a shy smile.

"Yeah, really. And besides, Ranma could teach you how to get better." Komand'r smirked at the redhead. "If she stopped using her old man's methods."

Akane laughed lightly as Ranma looked indignantly at her companion. Before the redhead could retort, she and Komand'r froze as the bluenette sighed gratefully, "Thank goodness you're not a boy."

"Nani?" Ranma blurted intelligently as she looked at Akane's retreating back.

"Well," Akane tossed over her shoulder with a smile. "I don't think I could stand losing like that to a boy." Before leaving the dojo.

As she left, Ranma looked worriedly at Komand'r, who quickly stalked up to the redhead and whispered, "Well, what now, genius?"

"What do you mean, 'what now'?"

"Obviously your brilliant plan to pretend you're really a girl is shot to hell, so what're you gonna do now?"

Ranma's jaw dropped and she exclaimed, "I didn't tell you what I was doing! How did you-" The redhead paused at the deadpan expression on the Komand'r's face and mumbled, "Right, sorry…"

"Yeah, it was a little obvious. And besides that, your plan wouldn't have worked since your old man has probably changed back by now and explained everything."

"Umm, maybe I could say he's senile and I really am a girl?"

Ranma's hopeful smile slowly faded as Komand'r shook her head. "As much as I love a good con, and as amusing as that would be; it's time to suck it up and come clean, Ranma."

Ranma looked worriedly towards the door Akane had left through. "You sure?"

"Trust me, if you don't come clean now, it's gonna be a hell of alot worse when she finds out later." The dark-haired girl leaned in and advised sternly, "And she will find out, considering how much your curse loves to switch at the worst possible moments."

As Ranma swallowed nervously and nodded in acceptance, Komand'r looked at the red head curiously. "What're you so worried about, anyway? I thought you didn't want this engagement."

"I don't!" Ranma declared quickly, before looking down and lightly touching the tips of her index fingers together in a embarrassed gesture. "But...she wants to be friends, and I don't have many of those besides you…"

"Ahh, I gotcha." Komand'r nodded in understanding. Then a slow, wicked smile spread across her face. "So, what kind of friend do you want to bewith her?"

Ranma's cheeks went from zero to tomato red and she squeaked, "Komie! I didn't mean like that!"

"You sure? She's kinda cute, and I wouldn't mind if you took her to the rodeo, 'wild horse'."

Ranma covered her glowing face with her hands as she moaned in embarrassment and Komand'r gave a delighted laugh. "Oh my X'hal, you can be so adorable!" Stepping in, the dark-haired girl gently held Ranma's shoulder and smiled softly, "I'm just teasing you, Saotome, I know you're not that kinda guy. But you do need to come clean as soon as possible." Wrinkling her nose, she added, "Speaking of clean, I think you should use the bath to change back."

Ranma looked at the dark-haired girl with a miffed expression, then sighed and said, "Alright. But while I'm doing that, can you find pops and make sure he hasn't made things worse?"

Komand'r snorted. "Please, how could he-"

She stopped herself, and after a moment of sharing a wide-eye'd, expectantly horrified look with Ranma, said quickly and quietly, "Change back quick before that jinx kicks in."

Ranma nodded and bolted out the door while Komand'r walked away, muttering to herself about pushing her luck.

OOOOOO

As she stepped into the house's common room, Komand'r sighed in disgust, seeing the humanized Genma sitting in front of Soun, with twin streams of tears flowing down both men's faces. "Oh good, so you told him?"

"Yes." Genma nodded sorrowfully. "I told him everything."

Soun sniffled and offered a somber, "How tragic…"

Then he paused as the girl his friend had explained was a new student and traveling companion glared angrily at Genma, having been surprised by the sight of faint flickering lights in the depths of her eyes as she growled, "You told him everything?"

While Soun wrote off the strange gleam as some trick of the light due to her eye color, Genma paled and quickly shook his head, waving his hands in a placating manner which reminded Soun of their days training with the master as the bald man declared, "No no! Some things would be too unbelievable, and I didn't want to overwhelm him!"

Soun narrowed his eyes at his friend, but before he could ask what would be more unbelievable than a magic curse, Kasumi stepped into the room and asked, "Ano...Otousan? Who is this?"

While Komand'r turned and gave the pony-tailed brunette an appraising look, her slight scowl in disapproval going unnoticed by the others as Soun replied, "This is my friend, Genma Saotome."

"I see. But where is that panda who arrived with his daughter and Komand'r-san?"

"You're looking at him." The dark-haired girl offered in a voice as dry as the Sahara.

Kasumi could only give a confused, "Nani?" When a scream echoed through the house, startling everyone into looking around, including Nabiki who had been descending the steps when an impromptu death-metal concert had broken out. As the brunette asked, "What is that!?" The scream began to Doppler as the source moved through the house, eventually manifesting in the form of Akane wearing the top of her karate Gi as she ran out into the front yard and picked up an ornamental stone lantern the size of a large exercise ball.

Komand'r whistled and nodded her head as she recalibrated her assumption on the bluenette's physical strength, then stiffened when she heard Akane snarling, "I'll kill him! Drown him in the bathtub!"

"Akane-chan, what's wrong?" Kasumi asked worriedly as Komand'r grimaced in expectation of pain and futilely hoped she was wrong about what was coming next.

"There's a pervert in the bathroom!"

There was a slap, which drew Kasumi's eyes to their dark-haired guest, who had dropped her head into her hand and was muttering something under her breath that sounded like 'glorbag' and 'jinxes'.

Nabiki, ignoring the noise in favor of calling out an inconsistency with her sisters story, snarkily offered, "Why didn't you just beat him to death with your bare hands?"

"Because I was scared!" Akane fired back angrily.

Komand'r snorted in amusement, then looked up when a soft voice called the attention of those present. She, along with everyone else, spotted the dark-haired and definitively male heir to the Anything Goes School as he said, "I'm...Ranma Saotome...sorry about this." While scratching the back of his head.

Unlike those who were either dumbstruck or resigned by this announcement, Komand'r regarded the boy with a measure of sympathy while privately quashing the crueler parts of her soul that insisted sympathy was a weakness for other people.

OOOOOO

The three guests were sitting shima on the deck of the Tendo home; Genma in the middle, while flanked by Ranma and Komand'r. Facing them were three inquisitive Tendo's...and one pissed off girl glaring daggers at the shamefaced pigtailed boy.

"Allow me," Genma said impassively. "To reintroduce ourselves." He gestured to his right. "This is my son, Ranma. The heir to the Saotome school of Anything Goes." Then to his left. "This is Komand'r, a traveling companion and my son's first student of the Anything Goes style."

"Otherwise known as Kurohi*, if you don't mind."

Nabiki cocked an eyebrow in interest. "Blackfire? Sounds intimidating."

Blackfire smirked at the middle sister and said, "You have no idea." With a wicked gleam in her eye.

While Nabiki's interest piqued, Kasumi asked, "but, who was that girl who arrived earlier?" while studying Ranma intently.

Komand'r opened her mouth, only to be cut off by Genma as he mused thoughtfully, "It's quite a tale...where do I begin…" which prompted her to look at Genma incredulously, confused as to why the man next to her was trying with marginal success to sound halfway respectable and intelligent. Her expression morphed into pure shock as Genma immediately reached over, grabbed Ranma by the front of his shirt and without so much as a 'think fast', chucked his hollering son into the koi pond.

The Tendo's watched as the pond bubbled, when a mane of red hair broke the surface of the water and the female Ranma they'd met earlier that day shouted angrily, "What the hell did you do that for!?"

"Now he's a girl?"

Kasumi's quiet observation seemed to be the straw that broke the panda's back as Genma sobbed theatrically. "Oh, woe is me! To have a son so cruelly curs-"

Genma's impromptu performance was cut off by a squawk of pain and surprise as Blackfire recovered from her stupefication, and immediately swung her leg like a baseball bat to kick the larger man square in the tailbone, launching him off of the deck and straight into the same pond which contained his son/daughter. Ranma sputtered as she was caught in the splash of her dad belly-flopping inches away from her and shouted, "Hey! Careful, Komie!"

"Sorry, Ranma." Blackfire replied with a snarl as Genma-panda resurfaced like a kaiju from the depths and growled back at her, only to find itself under attack from Moth-Ranma as the redhead obviously wanted to get her licks in. "But that kwelvu'nash had it coming."

As the father and son sparred, Nabiki asked, "How does something like that happen?"

"Allow me." Blackfire grumbled before reaching into Genma's pack and extracting a small, worn booklet. After a few moments of flipping through the pages. She held the book in front of her and began to recite the contents to the Tendo family.

"Jusenkyo, the Legendary martial arts training ground known as the Springs of Sorrow, a place of chaos and powerful magical curses."

Nabiki's jaw dropped. (Magic?! Honest to Kami magic!?) before glancing towards the transformed pair with an appraising look in her eye.

"The waters of the Jusenkyo hold terrible powers, as each spring carries a tragic tale of a creature that drowned within, and now any animal or person who falls into that same pool will be cursed to transform into the departed creature, though appearance and physique can vary wildly between those cursed and the pools in question."

Blackfire paused to dramatically gesture to the fighting pair and shoot a disgusted look at Genma, who ignored her, before going on.

"While the curse is not truly permanent, the victims are condemned to switch between their natural and cursed forms when soaked in water or other liquids of certain temperatures. Also, an unspoken aspect of the curse is that the victims become magnets to water, as though a sense of cruel whimsy is present in the magic of the springs and leads to the triggering of a curse at the most inconvenient moments."

Akane looked from the dark-haired girl and back to the dueling pair, who'd managed to call a truce long enough to climb out of the pond before resuming their brawl. The bluenette's eye twitched at the idiocy involved in the debacle she was hearing about, as well as the idea that the peepshow she'd been an unwilling participant in had been due to some sort of magical coincidence.

"While Jusenkyo is a landmark and an important part of China's history, involved in the cultural practices of nearby isolated and mythical villages; it would be better for you, dear reader, to never travel to Jusenkyo lest you risk a malicious curse. On the off-chance you end up near the pools, you should find the guide to the springs and listen to everything he says, especially the warnings that you should stay very far away from the pools. It is the recommendation of this guide that if you are suicidal enough to willingly come within a mile of the Jusenkyo, you do so in a helicopter or an airplane and pray a random engine failure doesn't send you into one of the springs, because magic can be a dick like that."

Kasumi blushed and murmured, "Kurohi-san, language please!"

Blackfire rolled her eyes at the brunette's request as she closed the booklet, having finished reading the passage while the Tendo family absorbed what they'd heard. Nodding her head to Ranma and Genma, she asked dryly, "You get it now?"

Akane muttered, "They fell into the springs? If there were so many warnings, why did these idiots-"

"Idi-ot." Blackfire corrected the bluenette with a frown at Genma, and this time receiving an irritated 'growf' in return. "Cause he's the one who got this brochure, complete with a map, and took Ranma to the springs. As for the warnings," Blackfire paused as she caught Nabiki's eye and said, "Catch." Before tossing the booklet to the page-cut brunette.

Nabiki caught the brochure a little unsteadily, and after a quizzical look at Blackfire, opened the first page and immediately blinked. "Nani? It's not in Japanese."

"Nope." Blackfire affirmed with a frown, "It's Mandarin, and while I can understand it just fine, I met them about 2 months ago, when they got their curses more than 3 months ago. And no," Blackfire interrupted Kasumi, having seen the older girl open her mouth to offer up a question or insight. "Genma doesn't know a word of Mandarin, but this guide was cheaper than the translated one."

"So they went to the springs and trained?" Nabiki asked with narrowed eyes as she tried to find the hidden dodge. "What about the guide the brochure mentioned?"

"Apparently, he barely finished his introduction when they started sparring on bamboo poles that were growing directly out of the springs. The idiot-" Blackfire thumbed to Genma. "-got knocked into the Spring of Drowned Panda, and was so focused on training he didn't even notice the change. When he jumped back out, Ranma freaked at the change and all Genma saw was an opening to be exploited, so the panda belted him into the Spring of Drowned girl."

"The springs of sorrow…" Soun mused thoughtfully. "Their legend had always been shrouded in mystery, until now."

Blackfire cocked an eyebrow at that, as it sounded like Soun had at least known of the springs before hearing the tale. The alien was distracted from her musing as Akane crossed her arms and asked with forced calm. "And you just happened to start traveling with them a month later? Why?"

Blackfire looked at the younger girl; then back to the fight and smirked evilly before declaring, "Ranma is Lezoom par'ma."

Redhead and panda froze, their expressions mirrored in growing horror which sent up a red flag in Nabiki's mind as her younger sister asked pointedly, "And that is?"

Blackfire looked away from her companions; seemingly missing the looks of fear and headshakes from the girl and panda who obviously wanted her to do anything else except speak, though the malicious quirk to her lips revealed that lie to the sharp-eye'd Nabiki.

"It means…" She paused for a moment, apparently wanting to savor the fear emanating from Ranma and Genma before answering, "he saved my life; and I owe him a debt."

Ranma and Genma-panda facefaulted, with the redhead offering a weak, "Not funny, Komie…"

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, Ranma." She chortled wickedly, while Nabiki made a mental note to talk to the father and son's traveling companion later.

When Genma and Ranma got to their feet, they made their way back into the house. After a few steps, Soun came up from behind Blackfire and said, "While cold water activates the curse, hot water turns you back to normal!" And immediately poured steaming water from a teakettle onto the panda's head.

After a second of thrashing, Genma was human again and gasping in mild pain as he declared, "It doesn't need to be that hot, Tendo."

Seemingly unconcerned by this, Soun readied the pot for Ranma, only to have it taken out of his hands by Blackfire before he could scald the redhead. He looked quizzically at the dark-haired girl as she glared at him and set the kettle on the floor next to her. "Do you want to turn him back or cook him? Give it a minute."

"Why didn't you stop him before he got me?" Genma moaned plaintively.

Blackfire's lips quirked in a small, mean smirk as she innocently batted her eyelashes and said, "He caught me by surprise." which earned her a glare from Genma.

The pair's somewhat malicious teasing was interrupted by Soun saying cheerfully, "Well, it's not all that bad then, is it?" As he patted Ranma-chan on the shoulder and gestured to his children. "This is my daughter Akane, she's 16. This is Nabiki, she's 17. And this is Kasumi, she's 19. Pick any of them you want to be your bride, my boy."

Blackfire blinked. And then did so again because during the first one, Nabiki and Kasumi teleported on either side of Akane, with the latter declaring, "He wants Akane!" And the former nodding in agreement as she added, "Oh yeah, definitely!"

"What?!" The bluenette shouted as she looked at her betrayers.

"You'd be a good match." Nabiki said as she smiled in a way that screamed 'better you than me'.

"Yes." Kasumi offered with a much kinder smile. "You hate boys, and Ranma's half-girl."

"Ex-scuse me?" Blackfire glared at the pony-tailed brunette, who looked surprised at the dark-haired girl.

"Me?!" Akane shouted, too lost in her own outrage to register the sudden hostility towards her sibling. "Marry that pervert?!"

"Hey!" Ranma got to her feet. "Who're you calling a pervert!?"

"YOU, you pervert!"

While a good round of bickering broke out, Kasumi asked Blackfire, "Komand'r-san, what is the matter?"

"Half-girl?" Blackfire recited with a scowl. "That's a little insulting, you know. How would you like it if you fell into the Spring of Drowned Man and I went around calling you 'half-boy'?"

Kasumi gave a soft, "Oh my." while Nabiki acquired a target lock on the dark-haired girl for slighting her surrogate mother. Bowing her head slightly, Kasumi declared, "I did not mean to offend you."

"Right." Blackfire rolled her eyes, which made Nabiki struggle to maintain her calm demeanor. "You should apologize to Ranma, not me."

The two girls back-and-forth was interrupted by Akane shouting at the chuckling Genma and Soun, "We're not flirting, we're fighting!"

Surmising what the dunderhead and his new cohort had said to provoke that reaction from Akane, Blackfire said sarcastically, "And as entertaining as it is to watch," before stepping forward and pushing both girls apart, standing between Ranma and Akane and facing the bluenette as she finished. "I think we're done here."

"Done? What do you mean, done?" Akane growled suspiciously.

"Meanin' I'm goin' back to China to find a cure!" Ranma fired off over Blackfire's shoulder. "I ain't got time to be dealin' with fiancee's!"

"Boy!" Genma threw in his two cents sternly. "This is about the family honor!"

Blackfire gave a sharp bark of a laugh and Genma's eye twitched.

"Honor can wait until I'm cured!" Ranma shot back before narrowing her eyes at Akane. "And besides, it's no big deal for me to see a girl naked. All I need is cold water and a bucket."

While Blackfire struggled to restrain herself from blurting out, ("Or me") Ranma turned away from her and Akane and tossed out, "And I'm better built too!"

At that, Blackfire froze. And then slowly turned to look incredulously at the laughing redhead behind her, before returning her gaze to the fuming bluenette. Their previous hostilities forgotten in a moment of sisterhood, Blackfire stepped to the side and gave Akane a clear shot at the oblivious Ranma with a grand, 'after you' gesture.

Akane spared Blackfire the quickest of grateful nods before picking up the kitchen table and smashing her new fiancee underneath it. Blackfire glared at the twitching form next to her and declared coldly, "You deserved that one, glorbag."

"No kidding." Genma affirmed with a pitying look at his son.

OOOOOO

Nabiki was running some calculations up in her room, estimating what kind of hit the family finances would take due to having three new guests as well as ways to offset the bills, when a knock at her door drew her attention away from the papers in front of her. "Who is it?"

"Blackfire." the girl declared before cracking open the door and stepping into Nabiki's room, carrying a small traveling pack with a bedroll. Nabiki cocked an eyebrow curiously, both from the intrusion and the strange clinking sound coming from the pack.

"We're roommates now." Blackfire said with a semi-regretful sigh as she found an un-occupied corner of Nabiki's room and set her things on the floor. "Since I don't think you guys want me sharing a room with Ranma or the panda, I picked you."

"Oh? Mind explaining why?"

"Well, I had a feeling we'd get along a little better than I would with your sisters." She smirked over her shoulder. "Unless you don't mind me rooming with your dad?"

Blackfire felt goosebumps form across her flesh as Nabiki gave her a look that chilled the air between them. Despite this, the dark-haired girl chuckled and said, "And that's why I'm not sleeping in his room."

"Right." Nabiki offered as she reined back her fury, although it was a little difficult as she recalled the scene earlier and asked, "So, what's your problem with my sister?"

Taking a moment to straighten out her roll, Blackfire surmised which sibling Nabiki was referring to and said, "Besides calling Ranma a 'half-girl'?" She stood up and turned to face the brunette with a small frown. "Let's just say goodie-goodie nice girls get under my skin."

"I see." Nabiki offered while giving Blackfire a less dramatic, but still hostile look. "Well, you better grow some thicker skin, because if you mess with Kasumi, you'll find out just how not nice I am."

Blackfire smiled widely in response to the threat. "See, I knew I'd like you." Before walking over to the desk, only to stop as Nabiki swiftly covered a few of the sheets of paper. "What're you working on?"

"The household finances." Nabiki said coolly.

"Ah." Blackfire nodded in understanding and moved away from her, choosing instead to sit down on the edge of Nabiki's bed and ask, "Rough shape?"

"Rougher now." The brunette replied, after a moment to determine whether or not her new roommate was close enough to read the papers anyway before bringing them out again. "Any plans on how to earn your keep?"

"While I'm tempted to say I shouldn't have to do that, being a guest in your home and all," Blackfire tossed out lazily while ignoring a glare from Nabiki. "Fact is, I'm more of an associate of a guest, so I don't really have as much privilege. And besides, Genma's gonna freeload enough for the three of us, and I'd rather not be held to the same standard as him."

Nabiki nodded, "Fair point. Though, if you don't like him, why do you travel with him?"

"I am traveling with Ranma." Blackfire said primly. "Genma just happens to be a bit of extra baggage Ranma is dragging along, though the panda has unfortunately been in the driver's seat for most of it." the dark-haired girls eye's widened as a thought occurred to her and she asked, "Hey, when did you know about this engagement?"

Nabiki, able to easily manage her family's money even with a distraction, replied, "About a half-hour before you guy's showed up." without looking up from her calculations.

"Hmm." Blackfire mused with a thoughtful look. "I figured as much, considering how quickly you tossed your sister out to be sacrificed."

Nabiki's pencil tip snapped against the paper and she resisted the urge to swear as she narrowed her eyes at Blackfire. "And what would you have done?"

"The same thing."

Nabiki blinked, her irritation fading as Blackfire shrugged. "You had no idea what was going on, and suddenly there's a guy in your house with a magic curse who you might have to marry, and you went for the nearest escape route you saw. I don't blame you for freaking out a little bit. Though I have to say you're making a bit of a mistake."

"And why's that?"

Blackfire smiled wickedly at Nabiki and offered, "Ranma is the only man in the world who knows a girl's body inside and out. And believe me," She gave a delighted laugh. "He knows a lot about making a girl happy."

Nabiki's eyes widened at the implication, as well as this sudden new information regarding two of their 3 new guests. "You and Ranma...are together?"

"As in, together-together? No." Blackfire shook her head. "We're friends who help each other out, up to and including a bit of mutual stress relief from time-to-time." With a sigh, Blackfire flopped back on Nabiki's bed and groaned, "But that's gonna get shelved now, and it's going to suck."

Sufficiently distracted from her accounting, Nabiki turned to face Blackfire. "Mind if I ask why? If you're already sleeping together, why can't you-"

"Because, despite what your little sister thinks, Ranma isn't a pervert." Blackfire offered without looking away from Nabiki's ceiling. "In fact, I'm probably kinkier than he is, cause I honestly wouldn't mind if he decided to rock someone else's world for a while."

Nabiki blushed in spite of herself.

"But now he's got a fiancee." Blackfire said the last word in a snotty tone. "And even though he didn't pick her, or even likes this whole arrangement, he's too much of a nice guy to cheat on her."

While Nabiki mulled over Ranma and the now grumbling girls relationship, which had apparently been radically altered, she asked, "So...how long have you and Ranma been…"

"A few weeks now." Blackfire said simply. "It took forever to convince him to do the dirty-deed though, he was so awkward and nervous that I was almost convinced I was doing a service to humanity by showing him that he had nothing to be worried about."

"What about his dad?"

At that, Blackfire grinned from ear-to-ear and looked over at Nabiki. "The first time, a little call to animal control when we were in Beijing got him out of the way for a few days."

Nabiki couldn't stop herself from laughing along with the chuckling Blackfire, who added, "We broke him out afterward, and he basically dragged us straight here. It was a hell of a time finding ways to sneak away from him after that, but we managed." As the two girls amusement faded, Blackfire pushed herself up on her elbows and asked, "What's with your sister, by the way?"

Nabiki cocked an eyebrow quizzically. "Akane? What do you mean?"

"Hating boys?" Blackfire said with semi-amused interest. "Sounds like there's a story there."

Nabiki smiled thinly at that and said, "That information will cost you, roomie."

"Ha! I knew I liked you!" Blackfire declared happily. "Unfortunately, I couldn't pay for that even if I wanted to. The panda always seems to know when I'm saving up and filches it when I'm not looking." Blackfire's voice lowered into a growl. "Need to figure out how he keeps doing that…"

Further banter between the two girls was halted by the sound of a loud slap.

OOOOOO

Ranma sat with his father on the deck, sulking with a swollen cheek while Blackfire sat with the sisters at their dining room table, shaking her head and chuckling quietly. "Seriously? Twice?"

"Hmph." Akane sniffed while ignoring Nabiki's soft laughter as well.

"Well, at least you got to see all of what's on offer with this arrangement!"

Akane blushed bright red, and Ranma's ears matched her hue from hearing Blackfire's wickedly gleeful statement, while Kasumi offered a scandalized "Komand'r-san!" and Nabiki laughed louder.

OOOOOO

Heading up to bed, Nabiki opened the door to her room and paused as she caught a glimpse of a violet-slippered shoe disappearing out of sight, just outside her window. Eyes narrowing, she ducked back into the hall and swiftly made her way to Akane's room, where she cracked open the door and quietly called her sister's name.

"Nee-san? What-"

"Be quiet and follow me!" the brunette hissed before quickly heading to Kasumi's room. Rather than speak, she opened the door widely, catching her sibling as she sat reading a book in her evening gown. Before Kasumi could say a word, Nabiki held a finger to her lips and gestured for the older girl to follow.

Soon, the three girls were outside the door to their guest room, with the younger and older siblings looking curiously at Nabiki as she listened at the door. "Imouto," Kasumi asked quietly, "What are you doing?"

The pony-tailed girl was shushed, which earned Nabiki a reproachful look before she caught the sound of a voice calling, "Ranma?"

"Komie-chan?" Kasumi's eyes widened while Nabiki's smiled from ear-to-ear and Akane's cheeks purpled in fury. "What's going on?"

"We need to talk," the girl replied mysteriously. "Follow me."

"What does he think he's-"

Nabiki's hand flashed out, covering Akane's mouth as she shook her head rapidly. Despite this, the shark-like smile on her face spoke volumes as she looked at both her siblings and pointed up with a soft whisper of "Roof." Before pointing to her room.

OOOOOO

Moments later, the three Tendo sisters were perched rather precariously on one of the terraces of their home, peering over the edge of the next level above them to watch as Ranma sat down next to Blackfire and asked, "What's going on, Komie?"

"I wanted to know what you think of this situation."

The three sister's eyes narrowed, though Nabiki had to fight back a lecherous smile as Ranma chuckled and replied, "Another lesson? Is now the time?" as she assumed that Blackfire was going to show her not-boyfriend a few more tricks regarding a woman's body.

The Ice Queen was disappointed as Blackfire snapped in a decidedly un-sexy tone, "Damn right it's time for a lesson. Cause I think we're being played."

Ranma sat up at that, eyes narrowing as he inquired, "By who?"

"Who's the only person who knew what was going to happen today? And didn't tell us that this 'prior engagement' with an old friend was an actual X'hal-damned engagement until we were only a few blocks away from here?" Blackfire growled. "You're old man is pulling something, and I'm about a hair away from making a panda-skin rug out of him."

"Wait, they didn't know?" Akane blinked quizzically. "But, daddy didn't tell us about this-"

"Until they were almost here." Nabiki nodded in understanding as a few puzzle pieces clicked into place, and she felt a flash of irritation for not returning Blackfire's question regarding Ranma's knowledge of the engagement. "Sounds like daddy gave us more warning then they got."

"It explains why they seemed so upset this morning." Kasumi agreed quietly.

"Do you know what he's pulling?" Ranma frowned. "Cause if it's another one of his schemes, I'll help you beat the snot outta him."

"Unfortunately no." Blackfire shook her head regretfully. "What I got so far says that he wants you married to one of these girls as soon as possible, and he's probably going to be pushing for you to tie the knot before you have a chance to screw things up."

"Hey!" Ranma looked insulted. "Why would I screw things up?! Akane's the one who hit me-"

"After you insulted her, glorbag." Blackfire scolded him while lightly bonking him on the head with disapproving frown. "Which you deserved. But I mean screwing up because this engagement is a trap, Ranma. If you drag your feet, you'll get to know the sisters and might decide that you don't want to marry any of them, which is what your old man is trying prevent by springing it on you a the last minute." Blackfire grunted in annoyance. "I just can't see why he's pushing so hard, and I have no idea why Soun would be trying the same thing."

Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi all stiffened, their eyes narrowed in unison while Ranma asked, "Wait, Akane's dad didn't tell them?"

"Not until a half-hour before we walked in the door, so they didn't have any time to wrap their heads around this either. Trouble is, Soun comes off as good guy, if a bit of a wimp, and I just can't see him manipulating his daughters like Genma is doing to us. I might be wrong, of course."

"No, I trust you, Komie-chan." Ranma reassured her confidently. "You're a lot better at seeing people than I am, so if you say he's okay, I'll believe it."

"Doesn't explain why he wouldn't tell his daughters about the marriage ahead of time, though."

"Yeah." Ranma sighed as he flopped backwards again. "I'll bet they knew more about me and pops than I did about them though. I didn't even know there were any other schools of Anything Goes until today!"

"Yeah, your old man plays things way too close to the chest for my liking." Blackfire grumbled under her breath. "Doubly so when he's pulling me into it too."

"Nani?" Ranma looked curiously at Blackfire. "How are you involved in it?"

"I'm with you, ergo, I'm involved." Blackfire said simply, though Nabiki's eyes narrowed as she saw the obvious dodge from the dark-haired girl. What happened next only served to solidify her theory that Blackfire didn't want to explain her 'involvement' in what was happening as she changed the subject by asking, "So besides that, what's your take on things?"

Lacing his fingers behind his head, Ranma closed his eyes and thought to himself. "Well, Mr. Tendo seemed like an okay guy to me too, and his daughters are nice enough...mostly."

His sullen amendment brought a scowl to Akane's face.

"I mean, I thought Akane was nice up until that pervert comment, considering she's the one who walked in on me-"

"Yeah yeah, save it, Ranma." Blackfire waved her hand dismissively. "What's your read on the other two?"

"Well, Nabiki looked like she was okay with the engagement until she found out I was a girl...and she didn't change her mind when she found out it was a curse, sooo…" Ranma looked at Blackfire expectantly. "She's not a lesbian?"

Nabiki twitched violently while Akane quickly muffled a snort of laughter and Kasumi blushed brightly.

"Obviously." Blackfire replied dryly. "Though I wouldn't rule out her being bi. She probably panicked from finding out that magic is a real thing. This doesn't seem like the kind of place where people just accept that out of hand."

While Nabiki's frown deepened at the (correct) assumption on her sexuality, she realized that this 'lesson' was on Ranma's observational ability, and Blackfire was apparently his teacher as she asked, "Well, what else you got?"

"Kasumi seemed really nice, though I'm kinda glad she didn't volunteer for the engagement." Ranma said with a sigh. "Between cooking and taking care of me after Akane hit me and preparing the bath, she kinda acts like a mom, and she's probably busy enough dealing with chores without having something like an arranged marriage putting more stress on her."

Kasumi found herself re-appraising Ranma's character, feeling rather impressed that his hesitation for an engagement between the two of them was due to her needs and responsibilities rather than his own. While she considered ways to repay him for his kindness, perhaps by asking about a favorite dish of his, she noticed the dark look on Blackfire's face and blinked quizzically.

"Well, how'd I do?"

"Lousy." Blackfire almost-snapped at him. "Especially you falling for that home-maker's 'sweet as sugar' act."

Kasumi gave a quiet gasp of shock, the vitriol in Komand'r's voice bringing a deeper sting to her words while Nabiki and Akane both gaped at the dark-haired girl. Then Akane started growling and Nabiki dipped from 'frigid' to sub-zero as she envisioned ways to repay Blackfire's insult on her sibling.

"That little 'half-girl' crack was a break in the mask, Ranma. I guarantee you, that 'nice girl' has got a bad side, and you'd be better off staying away from her."

While Kasumi quickly grabbed the back of her younger sister's dresses to keep them from launching themselves at one of the two guests they were spying on, Ranma looked at his companion with surprise, then sighed and sat up. Reaching out to lay a hand on Blackfire's shoulder, Ranma advised quietly, "Komie-chan...I think you're seeing something that isn't there."

Blackfire scoffed. "Yeah? Who's the expert here, Saotome?"

"You're good, I'm not sayin' you're not." Ranma admitted before adding softly, "But not every nice person is like your sister."

The Tendo siblings paused at that, sudden curiosity staying the younger siblings hands while Blackfire flinched before looking away from her companion and grumbled, "Way to stick the knife in, Ranma."

"Komie, give her a chance, okay?" Ranma's hand shifted to her other shoulder and he drew her into a gentle embrace, letting her rest her head on his chest while he laid his cheek against her hair. "I don't want you getting angry over something that might not be there."

"Oh my." Kasumi whispered with gentle concern. "Is that why she was upset with me?"

"It explains why 'nice girls get under her skin'." Nabiki mused aloud before noticing the curious looks her siblings were giving her. "That's what she told me earlier."

Akane looked back to the pair and felt a flash of betrayed anger, and a deeper feeling of something else that made her outrage grow as she snarled, "Yeah, well she's not much better, the tramp!"

Nabiki smirked at Akane as she recalled what Blackfire said about her and Ranma's relationship. "Why do you care, Akane-chan? After all, he is a 'pervert'."

The bluenette glared at her sister before looking back to her unwanted fiancee as he cuddled with another woman, as the hussy he'd arrived with nodded in acceptance of his words. "Alright, Ranma. I'll give her a chance, for you."

"Thank you, Komie-chan." Akane's eye twitched as Ranma gently kissed the top of Blackfire's head before letting her pull away while he asked, "So, what else did you see?"

"Well, the middle sister is a lot like me."

"Does that mean it's too late to start runnin'?"

Akane's anger abated just long enough to let out a giggle before she could stop herself, and she grinned smugly at Nabiki while Kasumi politely covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes twinkling with amusement at their suddenly growling middle sister. Nabiki's irritation eased as Blackfire elbowed the chortling Ranma sharply in the ribs and said, "Glorbag." albeit in an affectionate tone before going on. "Anyway, I saw her running the families books in her room, so she's pretty smart and money-minded. But I'd watch my wallet around her, and don't make any deals with her before asking me, got it?"

"Why's that?"

"I asked her why Akane over-reacted to you walking in on her in the bath, and she was gonna charge me for the information."

Kasumi and Akane both looked disapprovingly at Nabiki, who made a show of being completely unconcerned with their response to her money-making techniques.

"But the sneaky grin she had told me that whatever your new fiancee's reason is, it's probably public knowledge and we'll find out ourselves soon enough."

Now Nabiki looked concerned, and internally cursed at being seen through by one of their new visitors. Apparently, Blackfire was as good at reading people as she was...maybe better.

Then, Blackfire straightened up, her expression and tone becoming deadly serious as she commanded, "But Ranma, the first thing you need to do in the morning is apologize to your new fiancee. I don't care where, I don't care when, and I don't care whose fault it was; you man up and say you're sorry, got it?"

The three sisters blinked at that, while Ranma looked confused and asked, "Jeez, what's with you all of the sudden?"

"Ranma, you need to be very careful around that girl." Blackfire advised sternly as she poked him in the chest. "Because everything I've seen so far screams to me that she's scared of you, and you need to correct that as soon as possible."

Akane's face contorted in fury at the slight on her emotional state, even though she'd admitted to such after their surprise first meeting. As Nabiki and Kasumi grabbed her shoulders in a precautionary measure, Ranma chuckled disbelievingly, "Scared? She doesn't like me, sure, but that doesn't mean-"

"Ranma, the way she reacted in the bathroom was because she thought you were going to attack her."

To the three sister's surprise, the somewhat obvious if grim statement caused Ranma's eyes to widen and the color to drain from his face as he whispered, "She...what!?" in quiet horror.

"That was not, 'A strange guy saw me naked', Ranma." Blackfire said seriously. "That was how a girl reacts when they're scared that a strange guy is going to do more than just look at her; and as hard as she blew up at you, I'll bet you 10000 yen that she's very good reason to be paranoid about guys like that."

Akane blinked, stunned by this relative accuracy on what she felt was a thoroughly justified bit of pervert smashing. Though the phrase justified seemed to fade as Ranma went into a panic and stammered, "Masaka, Komie, what do I do!? I'd never-I wouldn't-"

"I know you wouldn't, Ranma." She said consolingly. "But she just met you, so she's going by past experiences with guys. When you take her reaction with how she 'hates boys' it's obvious her past experiences have not been good ones." After a moment to let her theory sink into the pigtailed boy's mind, Blackfire added, "If it makes you feel any better, I'm almost certain she's had to deal with a stalker rather than a guy getting physical with her."

Akane's jaw dropped while Kasumi's looked sadly at her little sister, well aware of Akane's recent trials at school but not truly realizing what the long term effects could have been until now as she whispered quietly, "Akane-chan…"

Before the bluenette could respond to Kasumi, Nabiki breathed, "Holy crap, she's good!" in awestruck reverence, which earned her a reproachful look from her siblings while Ranma asked, "What makes you so sure?"

Blackfire held up a finger. "First, her sister charging for the info. Unless she's a complete psychopath, she's not gonna offer up details on an attack like that with a shit-eating grin." another finger came up. "Second, when you were sparring with her, she had holes everywhere and if she had personal experience with a vash'truka, her defenses would be damn near flawless."

"Dammit…" Akane muttered sullenly, feeling like she was being dissected even as she started thinking on how her experiences with Kuno and the Horde had done more than merely make her 'hate' boys. Or rather, where that hate was coming from.

Ranma looked away from his friend and adopted a thoughtful expression. "You're right. She's got power, but puts way too much emphasis on it rather than her form. If I didn't know better, I think she spends most of her time breaking bricks rather than doing kata's."

While the bluenette twitched in indignation, Blackfire queried, "How do you know that?"

"The skin of her knuckles had faint scars on them. The thing is, she's obviously had some training, cause if she didn't know how to break bricks properly, she'd have bony knots in her knuckles from bad breaks that healed wrong."

Blackfire shook her head and gave a dry laugh. "Figures, you're dumb as a rock unless martial arts are involved, then you're a genius."

"Hey!"

"But that's good, cause that pretty much confirms the stalker theory, and also says that she's probably still dealing with the problem." Blackfire smiled evilly. "She wants to be good and strong so when she finds the creep, she can make him hurt really good for perving on her."

"Except you know who the creeps are," Nabiki said quietly with a sympathetic look to her sister. "They just don't care about getting hurt."

"That cause I haven't found out just how much I have to pound them so they'll leave me the hell alone!" Akane spat with an ugly look.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Ranma's low growl brought the two sisters from their tete-a-tete to see him looking off into the middle distance with an ugly scowl. "What should we do about it?"

"First, we are not doing anything until you apologize. Second, if she's still dealing with a stalker, the best thing to do would be to help find the creep and then let Akane handle it herself." Blackfire smiled evilly, and Nabiki's eyes narrowed as the moonlight reflected off of Blackfire's eyes in a way that almost made them look like they were glowing. "Cause if she's been stalked long enough, she's gonna want a lot of payback, and cock-blocking a well-deserved beatdown would just be mean."

While Kasumi winced at the extremely crude phrase, she understood and somewhat approved of the sentiment as Ranma nodded in agreement. "I can see that. But do you really think she'll accept my apology?"

"Definitely, but that's just step one. Step two is to be yourself so she knows you're not the kind of guy she thinks you are, and what happened was an accident." Blackfire adopted a mockingly concerned expression, like a kindergarden teacher speaking to a problem student as she added, "Now, I know this next part is gonna be really hard for you, but you need to have some patience with her, Ranma."

"Hey, I'm plenty patient!" Ranma declared vehemently.

"Of course you are," Blackfire offered with a disbelieving, cheeky grin. While Ranma shot her a dirty look, she went on. "But since the girls didn't know about this engagement either, she'll might be a little hostile towards you. So, if she gets snippy-"

"-It's because she's pissed off at the arrangement like I am." Ranma finished his friend's sentence with a nod.

Akane's mouth turned down in a slight frown, thinking on what she was hearing from a boy who she was feeling a strange sort of...appraisal towards. Like she wanted to see just how much of a pervert he was before lumping him in with the other boys she knew, on the off-chance that he was less of a hormone-addled idiot than they were.

Of course, that sentiment was well and truly dashed when Blackfire grinned wickedly at Ranma and teased, "I told Nabiki about us, by the way."

Kasumi and Akane's eyes widened, the bluenette rounding on her sister as she hissed, "US!? What 'us'?!"

"You did what?!"

Akane looked back to see her fiance sitting up again and gaping at his 'student' in slack-jawed horror. "Komie, why would you do that!?"

"Cause there's no point in hiding it." Blackfire shrugged. "It's not like they haven't already guessed why I was traveling with you and your dad, and I'd rather have them know I was sharing a bed with you than guess I was sleeping with your dad. Plus, you're probably gonna call off the rodeo now that you're engaged."

Akane's jaw dropped while Kasumi gave a quiet, "Oh my!" Through rosy cheeks. "Th-they're lovers?!"

"Friends who help each other relieve stress." Nabiki whispered out of the corner of her mouth without looking away from the pair. "And apparently she wouldn't have cared if Ranma relieved someone else's stress too."

Kasuki blushed brightened and Akane growled, "Oh she wouldn't, would she?"

"Nope. Your new fiancé though…"

As if on cue, Ranma reached out and gently held Blackfire's arms as he said consolingly, "Sorry, Komie-chan. Even if I didn't want this engagement, my family and Akane's honor is at stake, and I'm not going to go behind her back."

"I'd say I wish I didn't know you so well," Blackfire sighed as she lowered her eyes. "But I'd be lying."

With a regretful sigh, Ranma pulled the dark-haired girl into a gentle hug consoled her gently, "It's okay, Komie-chan. If something happens and this thing blows up in pops' face, then I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Akane, while angry at finding out her new iinazuke was a perverted lech who'd brought his girlfriend to their home, found herself far less furious than she'd expected as everything she'd seen and heard so far painted a...somewhat flattering picture of Ranma's morals, despite him being a boy.

Of course, her opinion of Blackfire was on a downward slope, and nearly went into freefall as the dark-haired girl smirked in a lecherous way and said, "Oh ho? Should I rent a hotel room now, then?"

Ranma blushed and said, "No!" Before declaring more calmly. "I mean, I wanna give this a chance before that happens. Me and Akane could end up being friends, even if we ain't off to a good start."

"There you go with that friends thing." Blackfire chuckled and shook her head. "You seem to be forgetting that I'm your friend too, and she probably has a very different definition of that than I do."

"Tramp…" Akane growled under her breath, prompting a smirk from Nabiki and a reproachful frown from Kasumi.

"Although, if you do become friends with her…"

Seeing the evil smile spreading across Blackfire's face, Ranma groaned and turned her down with a well-practiced, "No, Komie."

"Aww, come on! I already said I don't mind sharing, and if she's down for it-"

Akane gave a full-body twitch at the implication while Kasumi's face reddened like a space heater and Nabiki swallowed down a case of the giggles as Ranma shouted, "No, Komie! There's no way in Hell she'll agree to that and all that would do is make things worse!"

"You are no fun, Ranma." she grumbled for a second before wheedling, "What if I ask her about you going behind her back? If she doesn't mind us sleeping together, then could we still fool around?"

Ranma gave a derisive laugh. "Okay, why not? If Mt. Fuji erupts, the moon falls into the ocean, or Akane says it's okay for you to sleep with me, then it's fine by me."

"Th-th-those perverts!" Akane snarled angrily. "How could they think I would agree to that?!"

"That's kinda the point he's making, Sis." Nabiki offered dryly.

Akane growled in response, when Blackfire suddenly shifted positions and the bluenette watched in appalled shock, along with something else that wasn't nearly as unpleasant as those other emotions as violet-eye'd girl swung her leg up and over both of Ranma's so she was sitting in his lap and facing him. Bringing her hands up to gently hold the back of his neck, Blackfire asked gently. "Hey, Ranma? Even though you're engaged, can I still kiss you?"

Akane tensed up, only to relax slightly as Ranma frowned and said, "That's a thin line to cheating, Komie."

Blackfire looked utterly crushed by that, but that changed when Ranma's hand came up and gently curled a finger under her chin as he whispered softly, "But if it makes you feel better, then yes, we can." A second before his lips met her's.

"Th-that, that pervert!" Akane snarled as her unwanted fiancee kissed another woman.

"Wow." Nabiki added as Blackfire moaned appreciatively into her possible brother-in-law's mouth, obviously enjoying herself as her arms slipped around his neck.

"Oh my…" Kasumi whispered with a flush as the young man's hand slipped away from Blackfire's chin and gently held the back of her neck, caressing the sensitive skin of her throat in an experienced way that briefly made the older Tendo reconsider her stance on younger men, if not the engagement as a whole.

After a few moments, Blackfire and Ranma broke their kiss, though not their embrace as they smiled warmly at one another. "Dammit, Ranma, why you gotta do that to me?" Blackfire murmured huskily.

"Do what?" Ranma asked with a smug grin that said he knew damn good and well what he was doing.

"Kissing me like that," She mewled plaintively. "Now I'm all hot and bothered, and I can't take the edge off! Can we just have a quickie somewhere?"

"No, Komie." Ranma shook his head, though a little smirk formed on his face as he added, "Although, if it's really that bad, I suppose I can help you out."

3 pairs of eyes widened to comical proportions while a joyful smile lit up Blackfire's face. "Seriously!? What happened to not cheating?!"

"I already said I'd make an exception for kissing," Ranma replied in a breezy tone that screamed shenanigans were on his mind. "And that's all I'm gonna do."

Nabiki's jaw dropped as the sound of a cash register dinged inside her head and Kasumi wondered if her cheeks were going to be bruised from how hard she was blushing. Akane however, felt a lance of confusion twist through her outrage as she wondered what kind of perversion Ranma was planning.

"Oh really?" Blackfire murmured seductively. "Does that mean I can kiss you?"

"That would be cheating," Ranma stated definitively. "This is just me helping you out." Looking away thoughtfully and admitting, "Well, it's probably helpin' Nabiki too."

Nabiki blinked at that as Blackfire asked, "How's that?"

"If I don't help 'take your edge off'," he answered magnanimously, "She's never gonna be able to sleep listening to you do it yourself."

Blackfire laughed. "Come on, Ranma, I wouldn't make her listen to that!"

"You wouldn't?"

"Nope, cause I'd seduce her and get her to do it for me!"

Nabiki flushed at that while Akane gripped the edge of the roof she was peeking over hard enough that the tiles started cracking. The sound of those tiles snapping into pieces was covered up by the same thing that caused it, namely the fact that Ranma suddenly rolled over and pinned Blackfire underneath him with a serious expression, though his amused tone made it clear he was anything but serious as he declared, "Okay, now I really gotta keep you from causing trouble!"

"Come on, Ranma, trouble can be fun!"

"Not the kind you're planning." He replied with a fake grim look, which turned into one of gentle affection as he said, "So I better give you a good kiss, neh?"

"Damn right." The wickedly grinning Blackfire chirped happily while pulling her shirt off, revealing her braless chest to the night air as she heatedly declared, "So get to it, stud."

"What are-"

To the bluenette's surprise, it was Kasumi who silenced her this time, quickly slapping hand across her mouth before the irate tomboy revealed their presence to the duo. The homemaker was completely silent, ignoring with wicked grin and shocked looks from her siblings as she committed every moment of the ecchi scene to her memory, fighting back the urge to pray gratefully as Ranma kissed Blackfire again, and sent his hands to work caressing the dark-haired girl's body while his lips slowly migrated downwards….

OOOOOO

Genma and Soun both took a sip from the saucer of sake, and looked contemplatively out at the Koi pond while they sat on the household's deck. The two of them let the silence fill the air for a moment until Soun declared, "I see what you meant by...overwhelming."

"Indeed, old friend."

"It is a bit much to take in. But it doesn't change the fact that she is a guest in my home, as well as you and your boy." Soun side-eye'd Genma. "As long as she and your boy understand that my daughter's honor is more important than their...dalliance."

"Trust me, Tendo." Genma chortled. "I didn't raise my boy to be a cheater."

OOOOOO

As Ranma's head passed Blackfire's navel, Akane realized exactly what he had meant by 'kissing', and it was only because her fiance and his girlfriend were distracted at the moment that they didn't notice the glowing blaze of feminine rage which was in danger of burning through the roof as she sputtered, "He...he...he's…!"

"Akane...can I be his fiancee? Please?"

Akane whirled and gaped at her older sisters, specifically Nabiki, who had spoken and was staring with wide eye'd amazement and a slight half-smile curving up one corner of her lips, while Kasumi was slack-jawed in shock at the sight of her little sister's fiance getting ready to dive between another girl's thighs.

Shaking her head with a low growl, Akane looked back in time to see Ranma cross the rhinelands of Blackfire's waistline and her fury returned. Albeit, now she could feel a different sort of heat that only seemed to amplify her outrage at the 'not-affair' in progress.

OOOOOO

"Be that as it may," Soun went on, blissfully unaware of the venal sin being committed on his roof. "I have a plan to bring Ranma and Akane closer, and I believe it can easily be adapted to create some distance between himself and Komand'r."

"Oh?" Genma looked at his friend. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, Ranma has spent his life training, and a young man needs to have a good education in this day and age." Soun grinned. "I'll call the city council to see about getting the boy enrolled in Akane's school first thing in the morning."

"Excellent idea, Tendo." Genma agreed happily. Then he pursed his lips in a thoughtful expression. "However...I don't see him abandoning a friend needlessly, and Komand'r may take opportunities to visit him at school...unless…"

Soun looked at his friend curiously. "Unless what?"

A slow smile formed on Genma's face. "Unless we find some way to 'distract' Blackfire so she can't interrupt his schooling."

OOOOOO

It was only pure luck that saved Ranma and Blackfire from being exposed to the conversing fathers, and the neighborhood at large as the dark-haired girl had scrabbled for her discarded top and only barely managed to cover her face before letting out a muffled scream that would have woken easily half of Nerima.

The Tendo sibling's responses varied according to their own proclivities on what they had seen. Akane wasn't sure if she should end the engagement, smash Ranma and Blackfire into a paste, find a quiet spot to...meditate on what she'd seen, or do some combination of all three.

Kasumi was regretting her short-sighted belief regarding the inexperience and immaturity of younger men, as Ranma had played Blackfire's body like a harp and apparently didn't mind ending their encounter without receiving relief for himself.

Nabiki was re-aligning her estimates of Ranma's personality, thinking that the young man had to be some kind of sadist, judging by how he'd had the swaggering and self-confident Blackfire whimpering helplessly and begging him for relief within moments of his lips disappearing from view. The fact that he'd ignored the girl's cries for mercy for so long only solidified Nabiki's belief that Ranma was some kind of cruel torturer, though when she saw Blackfire's reaction to finally being put out of her misery, the middle Tendo wondering just how much it would take to experience the pig-tailed boy's tender mercies as well.

"Oh X'hal…" Blackfire panted as Ranma pulled his head away nethers and crawled up until he was laying on his side next to her with a triumphant grin. "Ranma, what was that?"

"I thought it up a few nights ago," he answered in an overly casual tone. "And figured you'd like it."

"I am...a hair away from running away with you right now, engagement or not." She moaned helplessly. "Especially cause I know why you did this…"

Ranma blinked. "Nani? You asked-"

"If we could still kiss." She interrupted as she turned her head towards him and smiled knowingly. "You offered to make my toes curl and I wasn't gonna turn you down; but you did it because we can't sleep together, didn't you?"

The tide of hormones being beaten back by the show mostly being over, Nabiki's inquisitive mind returned as she thought (didn't they just establish that they won't be sleeping together?) while Ranma grimaced apologetically. "Gomen, Komie-chan, I just-"

"It's okay, Ranma." She reached up and gently rubbed his cheek with a grateful smile. "I appreciate the thought even more than the consolation prize, and it's why I'm glad we're friends."

Smiling at her touch, Ranma replied happily, "Me too, Komie-chan." Before leaning down and giving her a light, lingering kiss.

Nabiki tapped her siblings on their shoulders and nodded her head back towards her window. Akane and Kasumi nodded in agreement and followed her.

OOOOOO

Back in Nabiki's room, Akane almost immediately snarled, "That pervert!" With greater vehemence than she ever had for Kuno and the horde as she paced back and forth across her sister's carpet. "How could he do...that to some hussy in our home?!"

"Technically, they weren't in our home, they were on it."

Akane glared at the grinning Nabiki, who was leaning against her desk, while Kasumi sat on the edge of the middle Tendo's bed and murmured, "It was most improper," with a heavy blush. "But, I do not believe they will continue their...relationship, and I think Ranma-sa-kun will be good for you, Akane-chan."

Akane gaped wide-eye'd at her sister. "Nee-san!? What are you saying?! He just-"

"Helped out a friend, who's apparently going to be lonely now that they aren't sharing a sleeping bag." Nabiki said in a matter-of-fact tone. "He didn't know about this engagement for any longer than we did; He's really dense on social cues or people's personalities."

Akane and Kasumi carefully maintained a neutral mask as Nabiki's eye twitched, all three of them recalling the pigtailed boy's comment on the middle sister's sexuality.

"Walking in on you was an accident, and he didn't argue against apologizing. Plus," Nabiki smirked. "He ain't selfish, and he's very talented. All told, I agree with Kasumi-nee; being his fiancee will be...interesting; but if you at least try to be friends with him, like you asked when he-slash-she showed up, you'll be better off for it."

Akane scowled, though a flash of Ranma's absolutely horrified expression when Blackfire told him that she was afraid of him came to her mind. She crossed her arms and huffed, "Well, if there's any more accidents, he's getting smashed!"

Kasumi sighed while Nabiki rolled her eyes, but the sudden knock on the door made all three of them jump and Nabiki quickly called, "Who is it?"

"Your new roomie." Blackfire said before striding in with a wide smile on her face and a spring in her step which had been lacking up until this point. Well aware of why their new guest was happy as a clam, the sisters reactions varied from a slight blush to a subtle smirk and lastly an annoyed glare.

"Where were you?" Akane asked pointedly. "The bathroom?"

"Nope." Blackfire replied easily with a wicked grin. "But why're you asking me when you know exactly where I was?"

Now the sisters reactions were completely in sync, and Blackfire's grin grew even bigger at their expressions of wide-eye'd shock as she looked at Akane. "You need to learn to be quiet when you're spying on someone, Akane."

"You...you…"

Blackfire shrugged in a smug, unapologetic fashion. "I wasn't planning on Ranma kissing me like he did, but I don't care about having an audience and I sure as hell wasn't going to turn him down."

"He didn't notice us?" Nabiki offered.

"In case you didn't realize, miss 'not a lesbian'." Blackfire enjoyed seeing Nabiki's eye twitch at that statement. "Ranma's not the most socially aware guy, but I'm trying to help him out with that. I just wanted you three to realize where he honestly stands on this engagement."

"And you were being honest too, Komand'r-san?" Kasumi asked quietly, her blush fading as she watched the dark-haired girl with concern.

Blackfire narrowed her eyes at Kasumi, which made Akane and Nabiki's hackles rise before their guest looked away from the older girl and mutter, "Yeah. I was."

"I see." Kasumi bowed to her and said, "I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, Komand'r-san."

Blackfire blinked in surprise at the olive branch, when her attention was caught by Nabiki asking, "So, what's this about your sister being-"

"Imouto!" Kasumi chided Nabiki gently. "That is Komand'r-san's personal business, and we shouldn't pry!" Satisfied that her sibling would drop the subject, the homemaker returned her attention to Blackfire. "You are still a welcome guest in our home, Komand'r-san. And I hope you will come to trust me when I say I care about my family, and my statement regarding Ranma-kun was a...rude mistake, and I will apologize to him as soon as possible.

Blackfire eye'd the brunette for a few more moments before nodding her head and saying, "Alright then, I believe you." And then turning her attention to Akane. The bluenette stiffened as her instincts warned her of a sudden tense atmosphere in the room. Like the build-up of static before a thunderbolt, or silence of war drums before a charge as Blackfire stepped up to her and locked her gaze.

"Let's get something straight, Akane. The only reason I'm not pushing for Ranma to get the hell out of here is that I'm curious what the panda's endgame is, and because Ranma hasn't had anything resembling a friend besides me since he was 10, and has never had a girlfriend before I took his shrinkwrap almost a month ago." Akane's cheeks reddened in anger and embarrassment as Blackfire went on. "I'm only one woman, and he needs more than just me to make up for being raised by a stupid panda, and he's still willing to be friends with you. If that's all you'll be to him, I'm fine with that. Hell, if you two end up dating, I won't object; though I will be asking for rodeo privileges from time-to-time."

Akane blushed even harder as she recalled the 'stipulation' Ranma had given his friend regarding further intimacy, then blinked as she swore lights flickered in the depths of Blackfire's eyes, like matches at the end of a long tunnel as the dark-haired girl said with deadly seriousness, "But if you hurt him, or break his heart? I'll break your legs, and then I'm gonna screw him so hard he'll forget you ever existed. We clear?"

Despite the intimidating aura being given off by the purple clad girl, Akane's stubborn side showed through and she growled, "And if he hurts me?"

Blackfire shook her head at the bluenette's bloody mindedness. "If Mount Fuji erupts or the moon falls in the ocean or Ranma hurts you, then I'll break every bone in his body."

Blackfire savored Akane's involuntary snarl at the callback to Ranma's promise regarding getting his fiancee's permission in order to continue their trysts, and smiled as the bluenette offered a terse, "Fine. Good night, Blackfire." Before walking out the door.

Kasumi soon followed after offering a polite, "Sleep well, Komand'r-san." To her guest.

Blackfire watched the pair go, before turning back to Nabiki, who asked, "Why the 'consolation prize' about you two not sleeping together?"

Blackfire pursed her lips. "I had a...close family, in that we didn't have many beds and tended to sleep together all the time. In fact, sleeping alone was our version of being grounded."

"I see." Nabiki nodded in understanding.

"You guys might regret this new arrangement though," Blackfire added with a frown as she moved over to her sleeping bag and stretched out on it. "Cause now that Ranma doesn't have me with him, his dad is going to resume their normal training."

"How's that?"

"You'll see." The dark-haired girl grumbled as she laced her fingers behind her head. After a moments silence, she grinned cheekily. "Thinking about switching the engagement now?"

"You have no idea." Nabiki admitted, which made Blackfire chuckle quietly.

OOOOOO

Soun stared at his friend for several long moments, unwilling to believe what he'd just heard come out of Genma's mouth. "You're serious?"

"Mm-hmm."

Another pause. "Genma old friend, we've known each other for a very long time, and you have thought up with some outlandishly bad plans."

Genma's smile faltered.

"And then you come up with something like this…" A smile spread across Soun's face that was so wide, it threatened to make the top half of his head fall off. "And TOTALLY redeem yourself!"

-To be continued-

Author's notes.

1: *warning, fic not actually guaranteed to promote the above feelings and emotions from the readers and the author is not to be held liable to those who don't experience such feelings because they are dead inside.

2: *Google translation for Blackfire, and unless someone makes a stunning argument for a better Japanese translation, Kurohi is staying where it is.

3: This idea came about from a MASSIVE mega-crossover that has been my unicorn for awhile now. As I fleshed out a particular aspect of that story, I decided to make an attempt to build a separate tale from it.

4: Credit for indirectly encouraging this idea goes to an IRL buddy (Call him Blackhawke, he knows who he is.) who talked about how funny the 'Pervy oversexed girlfriend' trope is. (Came from the two of us watching "Krillin Plays SOMA" and his comments on 'robot buttholes', which prompted us to imagine ALL the comments Android 18 would've made had she been there and nearly laugh ourselves sick. Plus the mental image of Krillin/18 having exchanges like; "I'm only one man! She's like a machine!" : "I am a sex machine!" : "DAMMIT WOMAN!")

5: Also, full credit to the Blackhawke for coming up with the phrase 'Kirked' for inter galactic fuggins when I was summarizing my plans for the fic with him. ("So, Ranma Kirked Blackfire?" : "Yes! Yes he did! That is the best way to put it!")

6: Teen Titans timeframe is after the last true appearance of Blackfire in the TT comics that were based on the show. (The Ryand'r/Madam Rouge incident.)

7: Aspects of Tamaranean culture will be played with and/or Kubo'ed for the purposes of this story. (Writer of Bleach, here meaning I will be pulling things out of my ass.)

With that, I hoped you enjoyed chapter 1, please let me know what you think with ratings and reviews, and chapter two will be out soon!