Lazarus

Author's Note: A Jaspearl fic that was inspired by the song "Lazarus" by David Bowie and the song "Sound the Bugle" by Bryan Adams. The song "Uninvited" by Alanis Morissette was also a big source of inspiration too. Consider this kind of a Jasper redemption fic. It won't start as Jaspearl, but lead to it.

This fic will stay a hard T, but that's as far as I'll go with Steven Universe fics.

"I love you," she sobbed, rubbing her hands over his face, his hair, his chest, making sure he was solid and real. "I love you, and I thought you were dead. I couldn't bear it. I thought I would die too. I'd walk through fire for you," he rasped, his voice hoarse and broken. "I have walked through fire for you."

― Elizabeth Hoyt, Wicked Intentions

"We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward."

― Alison Croggon

By: VampireQueenAkasha

~O~

Chapter One: Bursting the Bubble

"Because of what YOU did to my Colony!"

"Because of what YOU did to my planet!"

"Because of what YOU DID TO MY DIAMOND!"

It was cold that morning in the Burning Room.

How funny given the name.

And he continued hearing Jasper's words echoing in his mind. Over and over again.

Steven hadn't been able to sleep as he watched the bubble containing Jasper's gem drift silently above his head. Sometimes he wondered if Gems spent a lot of time thinking when they were bubbled. Or if they slept. The others never really explained it to him.

Then again, they never explained anything to him.

It wasn't their fault. Steven didn't blame them. He didn't want to blame them. But they didn't give him answers. He didn't receive help from them regarding what his mother had done to Pink Diamond. Just vague answers. Always.

He held the bubble now, studying Jasper's Gem inside.

What did she know? What could she have told him?

Jasper wasn't willing to answer. And if anything, she had been shocked when Steven knew nothing about what happened to Pink Diamond.

He still remembered the raw desperation in Jasper's eyes. The pain and anger there. Jasper had been anything but a good Gem, but Steven could never forget how she looked at him. How she hated him for what his mother did.

There had to be answers. Taking her Gem away and trying what he had done with the Centipeetle Mother and Peridot had to work. He had to try and fix what his mother had done.

Maybe.

Still, he had to take a chance at it.

He quickly made his way to the Warp Pad and returned to the Beta Kindergarten. Being in bare feet the entire time was probably not the best idea.

He winced and grimaced as the hot sand scorched his heels.

"Ouch..." Steven muttered, the sound echoing in the great chasm. "Ouch, ouch..." He sighed ruefully. "Probably should have brought my flip-flops."

He sighed again and shrugged to himself. "Well, can't go back for them now."

He searched the Kindergarten by himself, watching the spaces where Gems had been formed. The empty holes in the wall seemed creepy at night. He never really noticed it when he had tried capturing another Corrupted Gem with Peridot.

He set Jasper's bubbled Gem down near his feet and began to work on tending to a place where he could keep her.

Jasper was dangerous. He wasn't about to forget that. So he had to use a different strategy with her. Something she had done with the other Corrupted Gems she had kept for her personal army. It seemed to work, so he could do that too.

Fortunately, there was a makeshift cell that only required a little extra care from him.

He carefully scooped the bubbled Gem up into his hands and took a deep breath to calm himself. This would get interesting.

Or dangerous.

Either way, Steven was ready.

"Okay, Jasper." he said, trying to keep himself calm. "Let's talk."

With that, he deposited the Gem into the cell and the bubble popped instantly.

Immediately, Jasper's Gem fell to the ground in a small puff of dust. Steven watched as the glow of her reanimating Gem filled the cell. He saw a ray of light emerge; limbs were formed, a flowing head of hair. For a second, he thought Jasper wasn't corrupted at all.

Then, he heard it. The frightening scream from Jasper, transforming slowly into a nightmarish roar of rage. The gnashing of sharp teeth and splatters of saliva that hit the dust below.

The light faded, replaced with jagged, teal spikes and horns. Sick, green splotches across orange, striped skin. Large paws. Dangerous claws that sliced into the ground beneath her feet.

As blind as she was, Jasper still seemed to be able to see. She paced around the cell, screeching and clawing at the walls in a mad attempt to regain her senses and surroundings. It was hard to remember her for what she was when she acted like Lion did.

"J-Jasper?" Steven said, carefully.

Immediately, Jasper was quiet, looking straight at him. It wasn't like her usual outbursts where she would give a cold laugh, or mock him. She only...stared.

It was hard to tell if she was staring at him, given the large spikes protruding from her eyes. But Steven still had the feeling she saw him. Saw THROUGH HIM.

"Jasper, do you remember me?" he asked.

The Gem approached, sniffing the air slightly. A gurgle escaped her. A low snarl of intimidation. Caution. How odd that she seemed more careful in this form.

"I know it might seem strange," Steven continued, "But that cell you're in? I only put you there so you won't hurt me."

Jasper snarled, showing her dangerous teeth. Her claws almost kneaded the ground beneath her. She seemed more animal like this than anything else. But Steven remembered how Centi had been. How she had behaved like a dog rather than a dangerous Gem.

He didn't know if this would work. If he could keep her secret.

Maybe healing her a little...

Steven licked the palm of his hand, coming up with a generous amount of saliva. He raised it to Jasper's face, touching one of her eye spikes quickly.

The Gem recoiled with a shriek of confusion and loathing, clawing at her face desperately in an effort to be rid of the nuisance.

"Sorry!" Steven cried, holding out two hands. "I just thought it would help you see!"

Well, so he could see her looking at him, anyway.

Jasper whirled, her back to him. She snorted and snarled, pawing at her face. After a few moments, the sounds stopped and so did she.

Finally, she turned back, giving him a snarl of rage.

Steven was shocked to see what his healing spit had done.

Instead of a spike over her right eye, one of her natural, golden eyes stared back at him. Narrowed. Filled with anxiety and distress. Whatever she used to be, it was long gone right now. She didn't know him. The same as Centi.

That was probably for the best.

The eye focused on him, demanding answers.

Why did you do that?

Well, that was Steven's guess. Centi had given him the same sounds and glare of protest when he had healed her too.

The golden stare held him frozen in his spot. There was nothing beyond that look. Nothing but anger and fear.

Fear.

The same fear he had seen on Jasper's face before she had succumbed completely to her corruption.

O

Steven had barely slept when he returned to the Temple.

That next morning, he almost took a swim in his cereal. Or at least, that was how Garnet had put it. She was chuckling and picking him up.

"Steven, I don't think you want to go for a swim in your cornflakes." she said, smiling.

Steven blinked a little before rubbing the sleepy sensation from his eyes. "Oh, sorry."

"Didn't sleep well?" Garnet guessed.

"How could you tell?" Steven quipped, wiping his mouth a little. He had a little bit of cornflakes still sticking to his cheeks.

Pearl and Amethyst entered the kitchen, arguing about cleaning. Lapis wasn't far behind. Well, Pearl had been doing most of the arguing with her.

"...I told you not to let Peridot touch them!"

Amethyst laughed loudly, holding her sides. "It was worth it!" she cried. She grinned at Lapis. "Hey! Did you get a load of her face when they popped! She was like..."

She imitated Peridot's nasally screeching before losing it completely in a fit of cackles.

Lapis couldn't help her giggle.

"Well I hope you had a good laugh," Pearl scolded, "Because it's going to take forever to clean that mess up."

Amethyst shrugged with a final giggle. "Worth it."

Suddenly, Peridot burst through the door, screeching wildly and thrashing her arms about. She was covered head to toe in red globs of goo.

"AH!" she screamed, frantic to get it off. "Get it off! What is this horrible, sticky - "

She collided headfirst into the wall, drawing another cackle from Amethyst.

Pearl sighed, rolling her eyes. She plucked Peridot up from the floor. "Come on. Let's find the hose and wash you down."

She made a disgusted noise as several more globs of the hideous red goo clung to her cheeks and top. Well, this was annoying.

While they chattered aimlessly, Steven made his way to the bathroom to start the day.

He remembered Jasper sitting alone in her cell and decided to bring a few things with him. Maybe things that would help in their discussion. He thought about bringing paper and pencils. Maybe the trick would work as it had with Centi.

But Jasper couldn't very well use them with her huge paws.

Anything that might help could be useful, so he shoved it in his backpack anyway. A few snacks and treats would probably be good too. A gesture of kindness. It was a start. Jasper was different and Steven knew she would have to be approached differently. Had she remembered him, she probably would have tried to break out of her cell.

He made his way back to the Beta Kindergarten and approached the cell that housed Jasper. The Corrupted Gem was lying on her side, seemingly asleep. When she lifted her head, Steven had almost forgotten that one of her eyes was fixed from his healing spit. It squinted suspiciously at him.

"Hi..." he said, nervously. "I'm back."

Jasper glanced down, watching as he deposited a few things from his backpack, only the ground. He carefully rolled an apple into the cell to her.

She seemed to sniff it a few times, her tongue tasting it a bit before gobbling it up in one small snap of her teeth. Steven smiled a bit and pulled out a pomegranate. He made a face and set it down.

"Ugh, Pomegranate." he said, sticking his tongue out with disgust. "I didn't mean to grab that. Pearl gets the weirdest foods."

But Jasper ate it anyway when it rolled close to her cell. Steven looked surprised before he laughed a little. Jasper ate every bite as if she had been starved. He had never seen a Gem so eager to eat, with the exception of Amethyst. Most of them never HAD to.

Steven took a step forward, careful. Jasper's eye immediately narrowed and she snarled a warning at him. He retreated a few steps before sitting down in the dirt.

Jasper laid down on her belly, staring at him. Perhaps trying to understand him. Steven was sure she didn't remember him. She was entirely too calm for being what she was.

Steven murmured thoughtfully. "Do you remember anything?" he asked.

Jasper glanced down. She raised a single claw and scratched something in the dirt. Steven watched curiously as she began to make a mark depicting a Diamond. Oh, right. HER Diamond. That was what all of this was about.

"What happened to your Diamond?" he asked.

Jasper's eyes widened slightly; then she rose, giving out a roar. She began to punch the walls, claw them and shriek out like a wounded dog. Steven had to block out the sounds with two hands at his ears, wincing in pain.

A howl of rage. A small, hitched cry of pain.

Steven moved quickly. He gathered a music box from his bag and wound it up. He held it high as it played a soft, gentle melody.

Jasper's movements stopped. She turned and squinted at the sound. The melody. It was strange how she looked at it. Almost as if she remembered it from somewhere.

"Pearl brought this for me from one of our missions," Steven told her. "I think it's a Gem music box. I thought it might help."

Jasper moved closer to the cell, staring down at the box with a mixture of awe and confusion. The designs were familiar. The markings of a Diamond.

Her Diamond.

Steven set the music box down and Jasper's claw reached out, dragging it back into the cell with her. She stared down at it, one claw only lightly caressing.

"My sweet Jasper..."

Jasper was leaning against the window that overlooked Homeworld. She was holding the music box in her hands. It had been crafted by a Pearl for her Diamond. Pink Diamond had a love for pretty things like this.

She had love for a lot of things.

Jasper pulled the music box closer. Steven watched the sight, rather surprised by the change in attitude over a music box. Perhaps it had more significance than he had thought.

O

Pearl and Steven trained earlier the next day. He was distracted by the sight of Jasper holding the music box so close to her. So he thought Pearl would answer a question about it.

"Pearl?" he said. "Did mom every have a music box?"

Pearl paused, setting her spear back into the confines of her Gem. "What? A music box?"

"Like the one you gave me."

Pearl nodded her head. "Oh, yes." Then, she smiled, savoring a long forgotten memory. "Music was one of the things Rose could never resist. I suppose that's how Greg managed..."

She quickly swallowed the insult she was so tempted to make. Old habits died hard.

Steven frowned thoughtfully.

"Wait, you didn't lose it, did you?" Pearl asked, frowning.

"N-No!" Steven insisted, waving his hands in the air. Not really. "I just... I was curious."

Pearl continued to stare almost suspiciously before she gave a sigh.

"Well, as you know, Rose had her share of secrets." she said. "Even to all of us. But the music box was a gift from Pink Diamond."

That made no sense. Had it been a gift from Pink Diamond, why would Jasper have reacted the way she did around it?

Once again, Steven was caught questioning everything around them.

He decided to spend the afternoon at the Big Donut. But he couldn't even eat anything Sadie offered him. She noticed how distracted he was and wiped down the counter top while she spoke.

"Hey, Steven," she said. "What's the matter?"

Steven sighed, leaning his head on his arm. "I don't know..."

Sadie seemed discouraged by the response. "Hm, everything okay back home?"

"Yeah, I guess." Steven said, pushing his donut away.

That was a first.

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "Sadie, do people keep secrets from you?"

Sadie let out a laugh. Half-hearted. "Oh yeah, I mean, look who I work with."

Lars was outside. He seemed to be cursing about gum that was stuck at the bottom of his shoe. He attempted to scrape it off on a street sign. It was almost funny watching him get smacked by the sign when it chose to kick back and hit him in the leg.

Sadie's wiping slowed and she stared at Steven, troubled by his silence. "What's this about?" she asked.

"Why do people keep secrets anyway?" Steven suddenly asked, throwing his arms in the air. "When you're family, shouldn't you just be honest?"

Sadie sighed through her nose. "Sometimes people keep secrets because they don't know how the person might handle them." she explained. "Maybe sometimes the secret is really bad and they're worried they might hurt you."

Steven thought about that. Sadie did make sense, but he still didn't understand it.

Hurt or no hurt, wasn't it important to be honest?

"Sometimes family might hurt you," Sadie continued, taking the donut from Steven's plate and holding it out to him. "I think it's important to remember to love them no matter what."

Steven stared at the offering for a moment before smiling. "You're pretty smart, Sadie."

She chuckled sheepishly and scratched the back of her head. "Well..."

"Thanks! I need to go!"

Steven gave her a hug, stuffed the donut in his mouth and rushed from the store. She watched him go, laughing softly.

Meanwhile, Jasper sat alone in her cell, constantly playing the music box. She rested her head on her paws, staring down at it.

"My sweet Jasper..."

A small whine escaped Jasper's jaws.

O

Note - Listen to "Within Temptation - The Last Dance [music box]" on Youtube. It was the melody that inspired the whole music box scene.