Because teenage Gilan is awkward and the story was begging to be written... See finishing author's note for more details on how the story came about.

"Halt, I have a predicament."

Halt raised his eyebrow at his student's statement. Gilan was at the table, resting his elbows on the wood and chewing on his thumbnail. Genuine pleading colored his expression as the boy gazed at his teacher. "What's wrong?" Halt asked.

"There's a girl, and I don't really want to kiss her."

Halt's eyebrow, if possible, inched higher. "I didn't realize you'd made a habit of kissing every girl you came across," he replied carefully.

Gilan balked. "What?! Of course I don't! It's just, this girl seems to want to kiss me."

Halt rolled his eyes. "And what about this girl makes you think she wants to kiss you?"

"There were clear signs!" his apprentice replied stubbornly. "Eye contact, leaning in... Oh, and girls subconsciously move their lips when they're thinking about kissing!" He then proceeded to pucker his lips strangely, tilting his head and furrowing his brow as he attempted to convey what he was saying.

Halt was fairly certain that he'd never seen anyone do this, girls thinking about kissing or otherwise. Seeing his teacher's puzzled expression, Gilan groaned. "Ok, I can't do it, but it's a thing!" he insisted.

"I'm sure..."

"So, should I kiss her? She's nice... and she's leaving for Greenfield fief next week. I still want to be friends, and I don't want to hurt her feelings..." Gilan trailed off, his expression troubled again.

"Gilan, you are eighteen years old. You can figure out irrelevant girl problems by yourself," Halt said, shaking his head before continuing his Battleschool report. It amazed him how awkward and young men could be towards girls, the Ranger thought, conveniently forgetting about his first meeting with Pauline.

"Ugh," Gilan grumbled as he stood and made his way to the door. "I'm going to see if Arianna wants to do something for the evening."

"What are your plans?" Halt asked innocently. "And brush your hair; you look like a vagabond."

Smoothing his unruly blonde bangs, Gilan answered with a shrug, "I don't know. Go throw knives or something?"

Halt scoffed. "Throw knives? You really are bad at this. Take her to dinner at Monica's."

Gilan gave a short bark of laughter. "I thought you said no dating advice?"

Halt shuddered. "I'm feeling sympathetic for the girl. Now, go away before you have another bad idea."

"I had a really nice time tonight, Gilan," Arianna said graciously as she was escorted up the path from the inn toward her house.

"Yeah, me too. Thanks for going with me," Gilan answered with one of his trademark smiles.

"I'll be honest, I thought we were going to go do something like play with your knives or something equally awful." Arianna laughed, then continued, "I shouldn't have worried."

Gilan's smile slipped. "Play with my knives?" He gave a nervous laugh. "No, no, I would never plan something like that, that's silly..."

A ways later, Arianna's house came into view, and Gilan's already slipping smile dropped as he took in the sight. Six of the village boys were playing ball in the large grassy clearing in front of Arianna's house. His planned doorstep kiss was out of the question, Gilan thought moodily. Quickly trying to formulate a plan B, he noticed a patch of grass slightly off the trail of where the boys were playing. Maybe they could kiss there without attracting too much attention?

"That's a nice piece of grass," the young Ranger said slowly, in a decidedly awkward way.

Arianna glanced sideways at him, her expression confused. "I suppose," she agreed politely.

"We should go stand on it," Gilan continued, forcing a cheery smile on his face. Arianna's brow furrowed with dubiety; nevertheless, she stepped off the trail, standing on the "nice piece of grass".

They stood in a self conscious silence for several moments. Set the mood, Gilan, the apprentice reminded himself. In the distance stood Castle Redmont, looking spectacular in the moonlight. Quickly, he blurted, "So, can you always see the castle from here?"

He cringed after he said it. No, Gilan, she can't always see the unmoving castle from the unmoving spot, said a sarcastic voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Halt.

Arianna raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Yes," she answered, her tone disparaging. In an attempt to redeem himself, Gilan continued haltingly,

"Even... when it's foggy?"

"Yes..." Again came that demeaning tone. Sensing he was losing her, Gilan decided. Now or never, Gil, he told himself, and began to lean forward.

At first, it seemed as though they were on the same page. Closer, closer... until Arianna abruptly pulled away.

How can I be this bad at kissing? Gilan thought, baffled. Still, he was past the point of no return.

The kiss, Gilan imagined, was what it must feel like to kiss a dead fish. Arianna's lips were limp, Gilan's touching hers for, without a doubt, the most awkward three seconds of his life.

Arianna stared blankly as Gilan clumsily leaned back. Wincing at her bewildered expression, he mumbled lamely, "It was hard to kiss you from that angle..."

Arianna blinked. "Oh... I think I''ll go to my house now. Bye, Gilan."

Gilan grimaced. Forcing false sunniness into his voice, he called after her, "Uh, let me know when you get back from Greenfield?"

With a quick laugh of disbelief, she answered, without turning around. "Right. Sure."

Gilan groaned as her door slammed. How had he messed up that badly? Several of the village boys erupted in laughter.

"Man, you muddled that up!" One of them called good naturedly. "Don't you know the signs before you just launch at her face?"

Gilan felt himself flush. "Apparently not."

"How did it go?"

Gilan braced himself as he opened the cabin door to Halt's immediate question. "Terrible."

"What happened?" The Ranger asked, genuine interest in his face.

"Apparently I can't read signs, she thought I was an idiot and slammed the door in my face." Gilan sighed dejectedly. It sounded just as deplorable out loud as it did in his head. He hadn't really wanted to kiss her, but his total failure was somewhat depressing.

Halt snorted. "You're worse than I thought. I didn't think you would be completely rejected."

"Neither did I," his apprentice replied honestly. Scuffing his boot against the floor, he continued gloomily, "I don't think I'll ever hear from her again."

Halt considered this. "Consider your original problem solved, I suppose."

Gilan sighed again, then moved towards his room, leaving Halt to his coffee. "I think I'll just go wallow now." Closing the door to his bedroom, Gilan's gaze landed on his dresser. Sitting on the polished wood was a plum tart, one of Gilan's signature comfort foods. Gilan snorted out a laugh. "Thanks, Halt," he called towards the living room.

And Halt, unseen from the closed door, simply shook his head with amusement as a faint smile graced his lips.

I was told a similar story from a summer camp counselor I once had. From the "nice piece of grass section" to the "Can you always see " " from here?", it happened in living color. It amused me enough that I had to turn it into a fanfiction. Hope you enjoyed my take!

-TrustTheCloak